Blogging Nostalgic

See, I have had a whole post in my head for weeks (only I'm mostly too lazy to actually, you know, TYPE it because I type type type type type for my job) about missing blogging.
Oh, I know people still do it, some are still successful with it, even I do it sometimes... but I mean five or six years ago before the world Moved On and blogging became more about Making Money and Social Media. Before conferences actually had WHOLE SESSIONS devoted to teaching you how to answer "What's Your Blog About?" in the time it takes for an elevator ride (no kidding. ACTUAL SESSIONS.).

**which, by the way, is a completely asinine question for olde-tyme bloggers like me. How do you answer that when you're a mom but not a mommyblogger and you tell stories in real-time from your life and try drunk-blogging experiments and share old stories and made-up or embellished stories and complain about getting buttsecksed by the power company every summer and post a bunch of random snippets of thought that sometimes strike you as funny and you post them and hope someone else thinks they're as funny as you do and you vent about the state of the country and you throw in some product and book reviews - some compensated with free goods and some just because you feel like it and you make up games for your readers to play along with you and so on and so forth. 
So I guess what I mean is IF YOU SEE ME IN AN ELEVATOR, DO NOT ASK ME WHAT I BLOG ABOUT OR I MIGHT KICK YOU IN THE NUGGETS.

I miss the days when we (and by "we" I mean "me and most of my blogroll") were not a niche, but a community. I know that many of us just don't have the time we did before. We have to work more hours or our kids have more activities or we got burnt out or just simply ran out of things we wanted to write about.
But I miss US.
Before there were "niches" you had to fall into. Before it was too hard to find an actual post in the midst of all the advertisements. Before "experts" expected us to have a centralized theme in 90% of our posts.
Before memes were a lolcat picture with some snarky remark (hey, I'm not saying I don't like those, but I don't understand how they came to be called memes). I miss memes that look like this. And even when we hated them, we did them anyway BECAUSE OUR FRIENDS TOLD US TO. And secretly, we sort of loved the memes.
I miss silly made-up blog awards that we gave each other. I miss Thursday Thirteens and Wordless Wednesdays.
I miss how we worked on promoting and linking each other instead of only concentrating on an obscene amount of self-promotion. I miss those of us who loved the comments but didn't overly concern ourselves with becoming "popular" or "SuperBloggers".

For my own blog, I miss how I would think of a REALLY AWESOME TITLE...and the blog post would evolve around that. I miss how I always had something to say and wasn't worried about who might take exception to me saying it...because rarely did anyone do that.

Well what the hell, I guess I wasn't too lazy to type it all out after all.
Blame Golfwidow - she was the catalyst because she was kind enough to Bring Back The Meme/Award and tag me in it (TAG! You're it! I miss that too).

If you're still Olde Skool blogging and I haven't been there lately, I'm sorry. Be old-fashioned and leave a comment here instead of facebook or twitter...and I'll come visit. Promise.

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NOW THEN.
the rules:

1. Link the award to the person who gave it to me..
2. Answer questions about myself.
3. Nominate up to 10 bloggers for this award, and link my nominees to the post and comment on their blog, letting them know about the award. (and thank you again for the Award!)

1. Favorite number: Okay, these are maybe not the most awesome meme questions in the land. My favorite right now is NUMBER ONE. Meaning ME.

2. Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Why would anyone ever drink such a thing?? I guess I'll have to say coffee, without which I would not be the person I am today.

3. Favorite animal: What is the biggest, meanest one that eats people? That one.

4. Facebook or Twitter?: Both. And neither. *sigh* There is no lesser of two evils in this question.

5. My passion: gone but not forgotten. Oh, wait...what are YOU talking about?

6. Favorite day of the week: Every one on which I wake up.

7. Favorite flower: that little skunk from Bambi. Or lilacs. I have lilac bushes around my house and they smell divooooon

Now, the inevitable and fearsome TAG and more importantly, the AWARD that goes with it (and be a sport and go all nostalgic with me and play along):
Incurable Insomniac
Mamacita
Redneck Diva
Under The Willow Tree
Simply Sassy
Megan, Grrl Author
Thumper
Webkittyn

And anyone else who'd like to play along. Granting yourself an award is totes allowed.

Oklahomies are OOOOKAAAYYY

I bet you had NO idea there were so many great bloggers from Okieland (BESIDES ME I MEAN, DOY), did you?

Check 'em out -- and if YOU are a BLOGGER and are in OKLAHOMA, you can vote for your favorites in the Oklahoma Blog Awards!

WTF is wrong with you people?

Apparently someone thinks I'm funny.
*I* think you just enjoy laughing AT me.

What the hell, as long as you're here, you might as well go VOTE FOR ME.
Not that I'll win. Also, is there a prize? I don't want to win if there's no prize.

Sort of like the BoB (NO, I'm talking about Best of Blogs awards, not Battery Operated Boyfriend awards, which, by the way, would totally be won by me and my BOB which I recently received from Eden Fantasy, is all I'm saying)... ANYWAY I won a BoB award a couple years ago AND NEVER EVER EVER EVER GOT THE ADVERTISED PRIZE.
NEVER.
STILL.
TO THIS DAY.
EVEN AFTER I BROUGHT IT TO THEIR ATTENTION ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION.

But I'm not bitter.

Wheee!

Well would you look at that?

Guess who won BEST AUDIO BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE DAMN STATE OF OKLAHOMA????






And to all the losers people I was up against... I'm sorry, but there can be ONLY.ONE.WINNER.

ME ME ME ME ME *bootyshake* *"I WIN" dance*

Seriously, congratulations to EVERYONE nominated in all the categories, whether you made the top of the list or not...I know we all work hard to make our blogs/podcasts the best they can be.

Now I must go bask in the glory.

OKLA-HOMIES UNITE!

Well wouldya looka that? It's time to vote on BEST OKIE BLOGS of 2008!



See what happens when you don't make time to read blogs? YOU MISS STUFF.
See what happens when you don't make time to BLOG? YOU DON'T GET NOMINATED IN MORE CATEGORIES.

Wait, was that out loud?

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Many of my favorite blogs have been nominated, and I'm very excited about that! I refuse to campaign for votes (much) because frankly, I have been uninvolved in the blog world for the last several months and ALSO because sometimes my blog is full of suck.

And whether or not I win in MY category (BEST AUDIO BLOG - GO LISTEN http://fridaynightliveshow.podomatic.com), I know that MINE IS THE BEST NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY SO SUCK IT.

So GOOD LUCK to all the nominees, some of you really deserve it!!

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listen to my podcasts! VOTE FOR ME! listen to my podcasts! VOTE FOR ME!

TUNE IN for the LIVE SHOW every FRIDAY NIGHT at 9pm CENTRAL/10 EASTERN on EMPIRE RADIO!

Or get the podcast later:

I'M NOT DEAD! I'm feeling better! I don't want to go on the cart!

Two imaginary bonus points if you get the title reference.

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Wow, it is all dusty and neglected in here! I have no particular reason, except for the normal things like "I NEED MORE TIME!" and "I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY TO YOU!".

Poor little blog.
I think I've given it an inferiority complex or something.

I DO have things to say, but I didn't want to just fill the space with the same old shit regurgitated in different words. BOOOOOORING!

Okay, it may ALWAYS be a little boring, but at least it'll be boring on a different topic.

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Although I love twitter.com, the amount of social climbing, "star" fucking, brown-nosing, and fakery makes me almost physically ill.
Especially when you find out that people you really thought were sweet and caring and...relatively well-adjusted are really NOT LIKE THAT in real life.
In real life they are rude and thoughtless, selfish and uppity. AND LIARS.
And old enough to know better.
SHAME on you. SHAME.

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I got an email from someone who said I was "scarily intimidating".
I don't see it.
Am I?
I don't even know what that MEANS.

Apparently (according to the same individual), the person worries that they can't live up to my expectations of them, my expectations of people in general.
WHAT?
What do you know of my expectations?
I expect people to be decent human beings, is all. Is that so hard?
I say what's on my mind. If I'm wrong, so be it.
I don't expect my friends to always agree with me, nor I with them. It's okay to have your own personal opinion and not be a "yes-person".

Just because I have low tolerance for constant whining or being a quitter or your little clique of holier-than-thou pals or the people who think they're the intellectual elite doesn't mean that you're wrong and I'm right although I probably am, it just means I don't like those behaviors or the people who embody them.
If you don't mind, then more power to you! Doesn't mean I can't like YOU.

So give me a fuckin' break, okay? Srsly.

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and now for something completely different...

Get your GUILTY PLEASURE-PALOOZA podcast now!

I was 'outing' people left and right, playing the songs that they're embarrassed for people to know they listen to.

AND I NAMED NAMES.

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Hey, guess what? I got nominated for a Best Of Blogs award, in the BEST PODCAST category!

Could I have your vote, please? There might possibly be wild monkey* sex involved!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

And PS You can vote EVERY SINGLE DAY. Is all I'm saying.

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*this may mean sex with wild monkeys, unless none can be caught, in which case there might be a secret, stealthy trip to the zoo.

A lovely Tuesday surprise, and it wasn't even an April Fool's joke

Many of you already know that Kimberly of Petroville and Lindsay of Suburban Turmoil host a monthly event: The Perfect Post Awards.
(if you didn't know, then shame on you!)



I'm feelin' the love this month, because two of my favorite blog-pals decided to honor me with an award!

Thank you so much, HOSS and SIMPLY SASSY! I'm very glad you enjoyed THIS POST.

Y'all ROCK.

Self Promotion, because my middle name is Vanity

Plus I need the comfort of the ego-stroking, since my car died yesterday and we're waiting on the autopsy to be complete before we can bury it. *sob*

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Can you believe it? Someone put an old post of mine on Digg; maybe you could digg it, baby.

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AND!
I didn't campaign for votes last year...but what the hell, everyone else does it and I'm just a black sheep anyways:

VOTE FOR ME! I'm totally the UNDER underdog. Like the one at the very bottom of the dogpile.
I know some of 'em are a real stretch, but just do it, 'kay?









Yes, I totally voted for myself. But I voted for some of you guys, too, so it all works out.

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TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
9pm CST, 10pm EST, 7pm PST

It's COVER-PALOOZA!
Good covers, bad covers, covers you didn't know existed.

TUNE IT IN and TURN IT UP! Listen HERE or HERE

The Mosh Pit will be open!

Some of the cool kids will be there. Don't you want to hang out with them?

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AND!
Last but not least:

Listen to the podcast of me on the air with Jeckles on Shitty Blog Radio -- at least, listen to it as soon as he gets it posted tonight.

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That is all.
Have a day.

I know, I'm a slacker AND a liar.

Hey, it's just part of my charm.
It really wasn't all my fault this time; we've all taken turns being sick with that flu-like disease that isn't really the flu.
ANYWAY.

LOOKA THIS!

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I've got a rap sheet!



Apparently Miss SEXYpants thinks I am ridiculous! woo!
Oh.
I mean, a Ridiculously Awesome Person. :)

Well, let me just tell you that MISS SEXYPANTS IS THE AWESOME ONE. Yeah.
Plus also? She made me a VIDEO!
She's way cooler than me.
She's way cooler than a lot of you guys, too. ;)

Thanks so much, Karen Sugarpants!

Now, all of you go tell her how ridiculously awesome SHE is.

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And don't forget....

FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
(with me, of course)
Tonight. 9pm CST, 10pm EST
Only on Empire Radio

It's HENDRIX-PALOOZA!

Tune in HERE or HERE.

THE MOSH PIT will be open!

November Perfect Post Award Time!

You know that to me, all your posts are Perfect, made so mostly by their imperfection--not necessarily any imperfections in the post, but by the author's imperfection.
Don't take offense. We're human and therefore flawed, and therefore MUCH more interesting. Perfect people with perfect lives are boring plastic and sawdust illusions.
I prefer the real people, who aren't afraid to show the bad stuff without coating it with a glossy veneer to hide the cracks. That's why I chose the post

Dear Mom, by the lovely, gritty, REAL Melody from Shoo Fly.

The post ripped me and made me weep; it showed me Melody's heart.
It also served as a huge reminder that we shouldn't take our families, our friends, for granted--not ever, not one single minute.

Thanks for that, Melody. And thanks for being courageous enough to show more than just your surface face.

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so in case I didn't mention it yet...
I love you. Pass it on.

FABulous!

For some reason, the lovely and talented and most excellent Wander is totally deluded thinks I'm fabulous and handed me one of these:



The rules (ALWAYS THE RULES! I'm a REBEL, don't you understand me at all??) are the usual: Pass it on to some other fabulous folks.
So without further ado (no, adieu means goodbye, which really doesn't make sense in this context unless I'm like...leaving you right now):

My Fabulous People (oh hell, you're ALL fabulous! But I have to put some names down-them's the rules)

Mr. Fabulous hisself! (yes, I know I put 'hisself'. It was on purpose. Work with me, people)

Simply Sassy really is simply sassy and I love her! See if y'all can get her to make me a quilt. They're AWESOME.

My darling, oh-so-sweet Raggedy One. You want to see a strong person, visit Raggedy. She da bom. An' stuff.

The talented and gorgeous Elle. She's had a tough row to ho hoe lately, but she's coming back better than ever.

and finally

One of the most fabulous people I know, Michele. Half of my blogfriends I've met over at Michele's place, and she is ever gracious and elegant and kind.

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Thank you, Wander! And right back atcha, baby.

When in doubt, quiz.

but first...

Do you know Mr. Fabulous? The F-Man? if you don't, you should. Mostly I like him because he makes me laugh with his often twisted and dark humor, but it doesn't hurt that he thinks I'm the best DJ ever. (you people know that I'm easy and can be had for a compliment)(and plus I AM the best DJ ever)
Anyway...
Mr. Fab has decided that he really, really wants to win Best Humor Blog in the Blogger's Choice Awards, so I'm fixin' to lend a helping hand. (Notice in my sidebar that I have been nominated for a couple Blogger's Choice Awards, but I don't have very many votes. *sigh*)
Help the F-Man win this category--srsly, dooce isn't really that funny. I'm so over her and I pity those of you who aren't.
Let's help one of the "little people" win (no, he's not a dwarf or midget--at least, not that I'm aware of, I mean one of the commoners) and go cast your vote now!

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You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors. If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs. As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human. And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

You Are Olive Green

You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself. For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself. You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you. People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.

What Color Green Are You?

Great State Fair & Okie Blog Awards

Yes, it's that time of year when our Great State Fair rolls into town...and I need to go on the stroll to check out the carnies--perhaps THIS will BE.MY.YEAR.

Kidding.
But I may be that desperate soon.

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AND!
IT IS TIME FOR THE OKIE BLOGGER AWARDS!

Thanks to the person(s) I've got totally fooled responsible for nominating me--I was pleasantly surprised to see my name pop up a couple of times! I'm honored to be among some of my most favorite people in the world, like Brian, Chaz, Ammie, Melessa, and Steph (just to mention a very few). And BIG THANKS to The Man Behind The Scenes who goes to all the trouble of handling all the pesky details.

IF YOU ARE AN OKLAHOMA BLOGGER, you can vote your little heart out.
No, not necessarily for me; there are many, many better blogs than this that you should check out.
If you're not an Okie Blogger, then it sucks to be you then I would say even though you can't vote, you really should check out my competition.

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Ironically (portentiously?) Beck's Loser just now came up on my playlist and blasted through my headphones.

Pink is the new...pink.

but first...
Tonight. 10pm Eastern. 7pm Pacific. 9pm Okieland.
FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE WITH MONTY
Empire Radio

Chat room will be open!

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So awhile ago this really groovy dude decided that I deserved this:



Boy oh boy do I have him fooled!

Thank you, F-Man!

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Now, the rules (always the RULES! OY!) say that I should pass this on to seven others. See, this is the part I don't like because there are WAY more than seven of you whom I think are nice. So I used my scientific process to determine the seven--it's totally random, so please don't feel slighted at all if you don't see your name!.
The Process: I have this clay thingy objet d'art that my sister made in high school, and I keep it on my computer desk. It's sort of a vase/container...something. So I wrote your names on pieces of paper, threw them in the thing, and drew seven names.
Some of the names are boy's names, because boys can be nice too.

Besides, if super-hot Mr. Fabulous can put up a pink flowered button without being a puss, then so can you. It just means you're secure in your masculinity.
I think he summed it up nicely: "Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, however. Fuck with me and I will make your life a living hell."

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1. Brian. One of the last truly nice fellas. He's tall, bald, and handsome, terribly intelligent, and I adore him. Always have. I'm very lucky to call him friend, and I have been privileged to spend many hours laughing with him.

2. Mamacita. I want to move in with Mamacita and live forever and ever, and we will watch our favorite movies and read our favorite books. Mamacita is one of those naturally caring people who ALWAYS thinks of others, never herself. I PPH (pink puffy heart) her.

3. Kim (the blogger formerly known as MommaK). A steady and loyal friend, a true friend, who likes me even when I'm a jerk (which, as you know, is a frequent occurence)(and why do I never know how to spell occurence? Does it have 2 rs?). I love Kim dearly, she goes out of her way to be nice.

4. Debi. Deb is my other half of my shared brain. We keep each other going, and she always makes me laugh. She calls or texts just to cheer me up, just when I need it most. She sends me confetti-filled cards which someday I plan to kill her for because I'm STILL finding confetti from the last one. If we weren't both straight, we'd probably be married. I love her with a deep and abiding love.

5. Raehan. One of my favorite people, she's sweet and caring down to the bone. She always seems calm and smooth, like oil poured over water. I PPH Raehan too. Did you hear she's started her own religion? I'm planning to join.

6. Heather. One of my soul-mates. Heather's a nurse and I couldn't pick a better profession for her. She's innately kind and caring, and I would totally let her stick me with a needle anytime, even in the bum. She's got a big heart and shares it with everyone.

and last but not least...

7. Jeckles. Oh, stop shaking your heads and rolling your eyes. I know that some of you have read his blog and listened to Shitty Blog Radio and you're looking at me like I'm crazy. I know he's full of rage and loathes stupid people. He's a self-proclaimed asshole.
But. What I'm about to tell you, you must keep to yourselves, otherwise he's going to yell at me for ruining his reputation.
Jeckles is nice to me.
I've had a lot of problems with my computer...and he's helped me every single time. When I have questions, I ask Jeckles. He helped me figure out what memory card I needed for my computer, and patiently walked me through installing it myself. He lets me vent and commiserates with me when I've had a rotten day.
He's going to hate this award and the button and will most likely not acknowledge it...but still. There you go.

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Now go forth and spread the love.