Showing posts with label open letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label open letters. Show all posts

Monday, June 13, 2016

Dear Everyone:

I am SICK UNTO DEATH of Social Media and its denizens telling me what to do, how to feel, and who to be like.

If I don't speak out - loudly - on social media about THIS outrage or THAT situation, well clearly I am just "passively accepting" of the situation. Never mind what I say or do about those things in my real life.

If I express outrage or disdain about THIS candidate or THAT candidate - on Social Media - well then clearly I am a hater or stupid or a libtard or fooled by the media or just too naive to be allowed to live. Never mind that I back up my outraged or disdainful opinion with ACTUAL FACTS, usually video and audio with the actual words coming out of the actual person's actual mouth.
But that's just spin and propaganda, of course! Never mind that they actually said it out loud on video in front of thousands of people.

If I complain about these things - on Social Media - well I'm just WRONG! Don't like it, don't read it! Unfollow! Block! Ignore!
Never mind that some of the people attacking me are friends, and their friends, and their friends, and so on and so on and so on just like that shampoo commercial. Friends I've known since college. Since high school. Since ... Social Media.

So let me just say this one time - *I* am not trying to change YOUR mind or YOUR opinions when I state my own. HOWEVER, my (fact based) opinions are just as valid as yours. I'm not asking you to agree with me, but if you open a discussion and I take part by voicing my opinion, then you need to recognize your own shitty behavior when you go on the attack and try to make me change *mine*. You need to recognize that it only hurts your cause, it doesn't help it or make your opinion any more palatable to me.

And if you disagree, that's okay too. Maybe you can't help being an asshole. So I'll just leave this here for you:


Friday, August 21, 2015

Here's what I think about that.

Dear So You Think You Can Dance:

You make me sad.
For the first time since Season 1, I am not watching on TV. I catch up when I'm in the mood, using Hulu, and truth be told I skip through a lot of it. I do not eagerly await each show as I've done in the past years. I think I might be over you, and it hurts to think so.
You know, I was very leery of the whole Stage vs. Street thing, and even though we're closing in on the end of this season, I am still a little uncertain although I've come to mostly accept this format.
But there is an entire herd of elephants in the room, so let me address the biggest one first:
PAULA ABDUL.
Seriously, Nigel Lithgoe? Have you lost your memory as well as your mind? Don't you remember the trainwreck that was Paula Abdul on your other show (which should've been put down at least 5 seasons ago), American Idol? Watching her spit out her nonsensical word salad critiques is just painful.
WE DO NOT WANT HER.  And speaking of AI, you do remember what happened when you started switching up judges and formats over there, right? An avalanche of lost ratings and free fall into becoming a joke rather than a talent-finding show.
And then there's Jason Derulo. He doesn't seem particularly knowledgeable about what the show is trying to accomplish AND his personality is fairly lame in this context. I don't particularly care for his music (just a personal opinion) and his "dancing" skills aren't anything to write home about.
WE DO NOT WANT HIM.

We want Mary back. We want Adam Shankman and Christina Applegate and Anna Kendrick and Debbie Allen back as guest judges - most of them actually contribute something to both the show and the dancers, plus they're funny, clever, witty, and entertaining...all the things that Paula and Jason are not.

What is really burning my ass is that show a couple weeks ago where all three of you judges criticized the DANCERS for the terrible (and lame) choreography and the costumes. SRSLY? It's not the dancers' fault, and if you have a problem with the choreography and/or costumes then you all three need to grow a pair and point a finger at who's responsible, and it ain't those dancers who're up there on stage working their asses off.
It can't be any coincidence that there have been an unusually high number of injuries this season as well - either it's bad choreography or the dancers are injuring themselves so that you don't criticize them for things over which they have no control - trying to draw your attention to their moves instead of what they're wearing.
Nigel, Paula, Jason (especially Nigel): GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE NEXT SEASON. I have a bad feeling that things are going to spiral downhill from here.

Hoping you pull your heads out of your asses soon,
Me

P.S. I do love seeing Travis and Twitch
P.P.S. #TeamGabby #TeamJaja #TeamNeptune


Dear ALL COURT CLERKS who quit because you suddenly got religion and same-sex licenses violate your beliefs:

I would like to know why it did not ALSO violate your "religious beliefs" to file divorce papers - especially ones listing the cause as adultery. Adultery is one of The Big 10 No-Nos. Or did you forget that in your eagerness to grab your 15 minutes of fame?
I'm glad you're out of a job now. I hope no one else will hire you. Ever.

With concern for your weird "value system",
Me



Dear Idiots Posting signs in your restaurants and stores and other public venues about how you will not be serving The Gay Type People:

You do realize that every gay person is not wearing a nametag or t-shirt that says "HI! I'm BIG GAY DAN!", right? You do realize that you will be turning away straight people who you "think" might be gay simply because of your own skewed perception of what a gay person might look/sound/act like, right?
YOU DO REALIZE HOW INSANE THAT IS, RIGHT?
And that you've served hundreds of gay people already without ever even knowing?
So how does it make sense to put up a sign like that? If I were gay, I would walk right in and you would serve me and never know, until I turned at the door to announce it REALLY LOUD. I hope people do that to you, whether they are straight or gay. Good luck (not really).

With concern for your complete lack of any logic,
Me




Dear Duggar Family and your supporters:

I can't even.
#Hypocrites #FakeChristians #Enablers #Liars #Cheaters #Pedophiles #Molesters #Adulterers #KeepingTheWomenBarefootAndPregnant #VictimBlamers #CoveringUpTheCrimes #Karma

I loathe you with every fiber of my being,
Me





And now, a picture of my boyfriend right before he left this morning:







Thursday, September 29, 2011

WHAT. EVER.

Dear ONG,

WE ARE NOT FALLING FOR YOUR PROPAGANDA! Oh sure, you've got Mother Nature all "ooooh switch to gas and get this GINORMOUS REBATE check! ooooh!" but what you don't say is "OOH YOU BETTER SAVE THAT REBATE CHECK FOR WHEN WE HIKE THE RATES AND RAM IT UP YOUR ASS THIS WINTER WITH NO LUBE TO THE TUNE OF $200-$300 EACH MONTH FROM DECEMBER TO MARCH!"
Yeah. Now THAT would be full disclosure.
Have a nice day. And also SUCK IT ONG.

Sincerely,
A much abused customer who only uses your services because she has no other options

Monday, December 06, 2010

#23878 Why I Hate People

Dear EBAY BUYERS:

If we list something with the actual size printed on the designer's label AND we put aaaaalllllll the measurements as well FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, it would be nice if you didn't leave a neutral or negative feedback just because YOU CAN'T FIT YOUR FAT ASS IN THE JEANS.
OMG.

Thanks.
Love,
Me

Monday, March 08, 2010

Also I'd rather watch Drew on The Price Is Right

Dear THE VIEW:

See, wouldn't you have rather had ME on The View Moms panel instead of some of those namby-pamby mommybloggers? Because you can't get those "Oh, Joy's hair looked so cute today" and "HAHA Whoopi is so funny!" tweets just ANYWHERE, you know.
OH WAIT. Yes you can.


WHO'S SORRY NOW, HUH??
HUH??

Too late for you. I've moved on to sex toys which are way more funner anyway.
Yes I said FUNNER. On PURPOSE.

Love,
Me

Monday, January 18, 2010

DAMMIT.
I haven't gotten on ANY Mom Central blog tours in a looooong time.

Remember when I used to have LOTS of stuff to review?
Good times.

I guess I have to blog so they will LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!!!!



Dear ANY COMPANY WHO WANTS SOME ADVERTISEMENT:

Please sponsor me for BLOGHER this year... because I'm really really really really tired of all the same old "Popular" crowd getting all the goods (yeah MAYTAG I'm lookin' at YOU).
I need $$ to get me to BlogHer (NEW YORK CITY, BABY! I've never been there!)and in return I will add you to my business cards, wear your clothing, give out bumper stickers or luggage tags or lapel pins (or Mini-B.O.B.s! WOO) with both our names or logos or websites.

COME ON. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Helpful Hints From Monty

Dear Men,

We girls do NOT (NOT! NOT! NOT!) like it when you're drama-queenier* than we are.
Is all I'm saying.

*unless of course you're gay in which case it is not only ALLOWED but also EXPECTED and even ENCOURAGED because then it's fun and we can bitch about stuff together but I mean straight guys who are boyfriends/husbands/insignificant others

Sincerely,
Single-For-Good-Reasons Monty

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

She doesn't have to PLAY dumb.

Dear Jessica Alba:

Three things.
1. Thanks for vandalizing Oklahoma City with PICTURES OF SHARKS. And the UNITED WAY billboard? Seriously?
2. OKLAHOMA IS LANDLOCKED. We have no oceans with sharks, so what was the fucking point?
3. Celebrities should be fined and jailed just like anyone else.

OH and PS: MORON.

Sincerely,
Someone who's never been a fan especially after the Fantastic Four because OHEMGEE you sucked and really, so did both movies.