Let's weekend together!

With the whole Covid #DeathFest, we've (mostly)(the smart ones) been following the rules and taking precautions and staying home more, and a lot of people have missed out on vacations and such.
We've missed our ComicCons and Fan Expos and weekend getaways and road trips and adventures.

Even me, and you know I barely can leave the house anyway except that once or twice a year when I would get a free weekend AWAY. Away from kids, from diapers, from home.

I MISS IT. My last adventure was like FOUR WHOLE years ago!

So this weekend, come with me to relive my last few adventures. 

Seriously, it's one of the few happy-making things I've got right now, and they're all "tl;dr" and full of pictures with captions.

HEY AT LEAST IT IS SOMETHING TO DO OTHER THAN NAVEL-GAZING SO YOU ARE WELCOME, YOU INGRATES. 
*Said with love*

Plus I look at all your pictures on facebook when you get away, so. 

Now let us join hands and journey together into ComicCon and FanExpo weekends and even a "haunted" Halloween weekend adventure. You are going to have the best time ever, many people have said!

*Many people = Me*

Fan Expo Dallas: A tl;dr Mostly Photographic Essay

I love getting away from work and kids once or twice a year, but you know how hard it is to say goodbye to these precious little children of mine:

We said our sad farewells as I dropped them off in some parking lot in Texas - but I knew their dad would find them soon because I texted him the name of the store.

Time to go meet up with Nicole and snuggle some fresh kitties!

AAAAND WE'RE OFF! Here we are in our Shiny (Firefly) shirts, ready to conquer the Expo!

The Fan Expo was a little different from Comic Con - also MUCH larger.  There were so many panels and QandA sessions, mostly more pop-culture centered than just comics and Dr. Who and Anime. It was very overwhelming and over-peopley for me.
Luckily Nicole had her Rainbow Claws Paws to keep me safe and sane. RAWR.

We tried to stealth-ninja some photos of Stan Lee, but as you can see we were not successful. He was a tiny man surrounded by some enormous bulky dudes, and he even had people on the lookout for ninja-photographers like us.

Those damn people behind Nicole were DELIBERATELY blocking our Stan-view.

Rob Schneider, on the other hand...

Well, he didn't exactly have prime space. We could just sort of walk up and take a photo through the curtain and no one noticed. Or cared. HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE $80 PHOTO OP and AUTOGRAPH! #FreePhotoIsFree

So we made it to the John Cusack panel and a guy came out to warm up the crowd...sort of the Q and A panel "fluffer," if you will.
The first time he came out he said NO VIDEOS.
WHAAAAAAAAAAA? Even Shatner let us take videos at ComicCon! WTF DUDE.

The second time he came out he said again, NO VIDEOS. And in fact NO PICTURES AT ALL. "Let's pretend it's really the 80s and there are no cell phones." Um dude, there were still cameras in the 80s.

BUT RULES IS RULES, so we put our cameras and cell phones away. I am nothing if not a strict rule-follower. So you will DEFINITELY NOT be seeing any photos of John Cusack from the Dallas Fan Expo here.

No way, no how.

#Forbidden.

It was weird - I wish you could see the back of his head. At first I thought he had on one of those Sherlocky-style deerstalkers with a brim on the front and the back. Then Nicole pointed out that it ACTUALLY looked like a strange distinct flap of hair, as though when he put on his hat it shoved a toupee out of the way and was hanging on the back of his head. As they do sometimes. #MrTudball (about 5 people will get that)
 (OH! And here's me taking a selfie with everyone in the Cusack QandA)

After that we decided to wander and shop and see what we could see.
Security seemed pretty tight. At least they generally hit what they're shooting at.
Also? PINK R2 UNIT. (PS I have not seen new Star Wars yet)

Unlike these guys - no one was really worried about them even though their guns were probably real and fully loaded.

Cool Guy thinks he is Cool. With Sailor Moon and Sailor Scouts.

DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS: but I *think* this might be happening in TULSA OK! Woo WHO! [see what I did there?]

I think Red Flash needs a cup or at least a jockstrap. And maybe to lay off the bacon cheeseburgers for a minute or get a...less fitted super suit. He looks a little bored with Other Flash's shenanigans.
SERIOUSLY. DUDE. A CUP.

Weirdly (or perhaps not so weird), Nicole and I always end up in cemeteries when we're together.
Note the absence of Weeping Angels; they're all inside the Expo. This was a cemetery in THE MIDDLE OF THE CONVENTION CENTER. What's that about?

I think this one was fresh and just waiting for someone to dig a hole. The mortuary makeup artist did an awesome job, right? So lifelike! Although she was starting to smell a bit ripe.

OH! Here are they are!
REMEMBER: DON'T...

BLINK.

My new boyfriend and newest favorite Superhero ever, #Deadpool. Also best movie ever...or at least in the last like 10 or 15 years. Also that is my Tardis mystery box, he was protecting it from villains for me because HE IS FUCKING AWESOME LIKE THAT AND SHIT.
#Unicorn #Shoop #Bananas

Here is Godzilla. He looks lonely. :(

Here is Godzilla about to eat some children. I support that.

Sassy Star Wars. #SaberEnvy

We stopped at one booth to check out some t-shirts and the guy said, "Here's the Question of the Day."
We thought he was going to quiz us on Firefly. (PS If you are not a Browncoat, you might as well skip the rest of this little section because you will be all HUH? *coffLISAcoff*)

"How do Reavers clean their harpoons? THEY RUN THEM THROUGH THE WASH."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
We did not buy anything from that guy. #RIPWash #WeLoveWash #LeafUponTheWind

Prisoner Jayne is sad. #JayneCobb "Time for some thrilling heroics."

We noticed that crazy old Vigo The Carpathian up to his same tricks! Such a lech!

He tried to suck me in but I am waaaay too much woman for him.

Then Nicole got us one of the most awesome things ever - MYSTERY BOXES.
We got a Tardis lunchbox full of trading cards!
A Breaking Bad doll!
Wristbands and lanyards and popheads!
Weeping Angel tote bag! And MORE!
SO. MUCH. FUN.

Also I am permanently changing my political affiliation for good and forever.

WTF with Robin's legs? Looks like he put his tights on backward. But I do like the Adam West Batman. KAPOW! ZOK! OUCH! BAM!
ChubbyBatman is Chubby.
Also? WHERE IS YOUR OTHER HAND, ROBIN?

By late afternoon, we were WIPED OUT. Nicole's skin was so dry I had to buy her a keg of moisturizer. Also she could stand to eat a t-bone and baked pertater once in awhile, amirite?
#DrWho #Cassandra

To cap off a fantastic day, we had a fun evening when we got to have dinner with one of my first blogging friends since around... what? 2004 or 05? The beautiful and smart and sweet Megan and her husband. ♥♥♥♥

Little did we know that there was ANOTHER (you totally heard a Yoda voice in your head just now)...another Con in town. It was A-Kon (not THAT Akon although how awesome would that have been??). Much like izumiCon in OKC, this is focused mostly on Anime, Japanime, and Manga. My daughter would've loved it, so guess where we'll she'll likely be next year.
ANYWAY.
The point of THAT tidbit of information is that one of my very favorite authors of all time, Taylor Stevens, was there with her family and OMG SQUUEEEE WE GOT TO MEET HER FOR A DRINK and spent a fantastic chunk of time in her company. I was happy (and UNshocked) to find that she is as warm and lovely and real in person as she is online.

***Quick #FANGIRL #PLUG: If you like strong, badass female lead characters with Jack Reacher-type lifestyle and a Mitch Rapp skill-set; if you like action and thrillers, GO. BUY. HER. BOOKS. The main character: sort of an heroic anti-hero by the name of Vanessa Michael Munroe, is dysfunctional, troubled, and bad to the fuckin' bone. YOU WILL LOVE HER. Get this one first - The Informationist - and just read 'em down the line. YOU ARE WELCOME***

All in all, one of the best weekends ever invented.

I feel so spoiled. ♥
You wish you were in my weekend.

Where's akaMonty?

Let's play a game!
As previously mentioned, I will be traveling to BlogHer '10 wearing this:

And I will be coming from Will Rogers Airport & landing at LaGuardia, via changeover at DFW.

You can find me here Thursday night:

FIND ME!

And remember...

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

The game is... come and find me. You will receive the prize of one hug. Or handshake. Or smooch if you're someone I think will let me smooch them. I have breath mints.
WELL HELL I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS A GOOD GAME.
Also it has the crappiest prizes ever. But WTF THEY ARE FREE SO SHUT IT.
That is all.
Have a day.

Forget Foursquare: How to find me in The NYC.

I have a shirt made every year for traveling to BlogHer. (P.S. THANK YOU VistaPrint for free t-shirts!)

It actually comes in handy... my first one was for San Francisco a couple years ago, and to my great good fortune I was spotted by Schmutzie and she was my very first blogger contact in SFO. 

She is beautiful and delightful and brainy and I was so so so glad to connect with her in the airport! Together we found our way to a shuttle and to the hotel and 2 years later I still think she is totally ginchy. <3

So if you are in an airport or on a shuttle bus or in a taxi on your way to New York City next month and you see the chubby lady with (lots and lots and lots of) "laugh lines" wearing this shirt, PLEASE COME TALK TO ME. 

PLEASE.

For reals.

---

As BlogHer '10 creeps closer every day at the speed of light ...well, I have mixed emotions about it.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE going. I love almost everything about it: I love renewing friendships, spending time with people I adore but only get to be with once a year, meeting many blog-pals in person AT LAST... I love the swag, I love the awesome meals... I love the topics and the speakers and of course all of the people who work so hard every year to make BlogHer a success. I love visiting cities to which I've never been, seeing sights I've never seen, eating food (like my first attempt at sushi in San Francisco with Fausta, Mamacita, and Kimberly!) that I've never eaten...smooching Karl (don't be hatin' because you're jealous).

But if you truly know the real me then you're aware of one of my biggest secrets: I. Am. Painfully. Shy.

In fact, my first experience at a BlogHer conference was as a speaker on this very topic.

My online self, while it is totally real and completely me, is also much braver about "speaking up and speaking out".

My online self doesn't hesitate to type what I might only THINK in the "real" world for fear of embarrassment or a joke that falls flat or a reference that no one gets.

On the other hand...

My offline self does not go out of her way to avoid confrontation, but she is somewhat more tactful and more hesitant to speak up and out.

My offline self is shy.

My offline self is cursed with incredibly low self esteem and wonders why anyone would possibly want to be around her. 

My offline self hangs on the fringes of the groups for fear of being thought too pushy, or too loud, or too TOO.

My offline self is envious that she is not more of a joiner and doesn't get the "cool" party invitations... although she'd probably be too shy to go anyway. MAYBE.

My offline self is currently suffering anxiety at the thought of the crowds and the people and the cliques and the groups of friends to which I long to belong.

I only remind you of all these things so that if you recognize me at BlogHer and I do not speak or return your wave, it's only because I was busy looking at my feet or the ground and I didn't see you, or there was so much noise that I didn't hear you.

And if you're waiting for me to come up to you first... well, good luck with that.

It's only because I tend to freeze up with the pressure. 

But once you get to know me? Well, I am at least somewhat likeable. 

Or so people tell me.

If you're desperate for friends I mean.

Unless of course you LOATHE me online, then you will also most likely loathe me in person.

Just know that I am DYING to talk to you.

And all my misanthropic tendencies will be carefully put away until I get back home.

Promise.

Flying The Friendly Skies

Okay, the last post was about Amtrak and my trip TO Chicago for BlogHer 09. THIS one is about my trip HOME from Chicago -- I'm saving the In-Between until some of the furor dies down; everyone is doing recaps and frankly I HAVE THINGS TO SAY and I don't want them to get lost in everyone else's bitching because you KNOW that MY bitching takes precedence because let's face it, I have the experience as a Professional Bitcher. Look, it's MY BLOG NAME for crap's sake.
ANYWAY.

Just wanted to give a quick shout out to Northwest Airlines for making my trip home from Chicago a most excellent one--especially since this was my first time on Northwest.

---

**DISCLAIMER: No one at Northwest Airlines has paid me in goods or actual money to say nice things, this is just KUDOS FOR A GREAT CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE and FOR ALL I KNOW they do not want me to associate myself with them.

---

Also does it count as joining the Mile High club if you only have your B.O.B.?
I'm just asking.
For research purposes.
Yeah.

---

So I go to O'Hare almost 3 hours before my flight, because I shared a cab with these two crazy ladies (HI FabGirl's mom!)...and when I got to the counter the lady said that my flight was in DELAYED status.
No problemo, though, she got me on an earlier flight.
And when I got to the boarding area, I noticed something even more important:

UPGRADED TO FIRST CLASS.

So maybe that's not a big deal for you. Maybe you only fly first class.
But for me? MY FIRST TIME.
It was EXCITING! I felt a little like a celebrity.
Naturally I was a total tyrant and ordered the flight attendants around, but I could tell they REALLY truly liked their nicknames HEY GIRL and YOU THERE.

I was pampered with hot towels, free drinks, tons of leg room, FINALLY enough seat room for my wide-load ass, and a delish Cobb salad for lunch. I SO wanted to hold up my tray and look around the divider curtain and go HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE COACH LOSERS!

AND.
Our attendant, Jerome Miller, was THE SHIZZZZZ. He was so cute and sweet and attentive and NICE, I wanted to just take him home with me.

(HI JEROME!!!)

Also he appreciated my good attitude (SHUT UP I CAN BE NICE WHEN I WANT TO I JUST CHOOSE NOT TO MOST OF THE TIME)(Also sorry if that caused you to have a small stroke but I SWEAR I was being on My Best Behavior).
Also ALSO I sat next to this guy who was a pilot for that airline and MAN OH MAN did he have the SEXIEST ARMS EVAR. He was quite handsome.
And has a girlfriend which sucked and had I known that in the beginning I would totally not have spent so much time talking to him.
KIDDING.
He was nice. And funny. And smart.

And the guy sitting in front of me was ALSO a pilot - I was all DID THEY BRING SPARES? WHAT? - and he was SUCH a Silver Fox.

Northwest Airlines definitely has the yummiest pilots I've ever seen.
Too bad I didn't get a peek into the cock...pit.
Is all I'm saying.

HEY DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, *I'M* NOT THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THE NAME.