Happy might be too much to ask, I'm aiming for Okayish New Year

The past year, well, it's been challenging, to say the least.

I lost my bio-father to covid, because he refused vaccination even after he promised he would get it and I'm still angry about that. Also his wife & my half-sister & her family have apparently decided that my kids (and I) are non-existent so fuck those guys.

Yes, clearly I'm still struggling with rage issues about the whole situation.

Holidays this year have been bizzare and have left me with some emptiness in my heart, and then the empty fills with anger and off we go again.

I AM TRYING.
Also I really really hate being forced into membership with so many of you, in the Lost Parent Club.
What sucks is that once you're in, you're in for life, which is ironic because death is what qualified you to get in.

The dark-humored joke at my house is that hey, at least I've got a spare (dad).


In the past year...
I have been diagnosed with diabetes, lipodermatasclerosis, high blood pressure, anemia, hypothyroid (unshocking because I had Grave's disease and had to take a radioactive pill to kill my thyroid), and a few other little lesser issues.
I had to have an ultrasound on my heart and my legs.
I could not walk properly, it was like my thigh muscles had forgotten how to work. I had to use a walker or at least a cane just to move around the house.

Also in the past year...
I have brought my A1C blood sugar down from 9.8 to 6.6
I have lost 98 lbs.
My blood pressure has come down from redline stroke zone to pretty near perfect.
Dumped 2 of my blood pressure meds, cut down on my iron pills.
I can get around without a walker and only need the cane if I'm doing a lot of walking, just as a balance precaution

So as you can see, it's been a very uppy-downy, twisty-turny, rough and bumpy ride, with all the screaming and nausea you'd expect from the worst roller coaster ever.

AAAND to top off the Suckfest that is 2021, my girl Betty White just died - and she only could've timed it better if it was 11:59PM tonight.
RIP, you magnificent woman.


All the self-pitying bullshit aside, I do have a plan for 2020Too.
I mean mostly it's DON'T HEADSTAB ANYONE, but baby steps, right?

Now go forth and celebrate in small, safe groups, don't drink and drive, buckle your seatbelt, wear a mask, and GET YOUR GD VACCINATION and BOOSTER.
Don't die of stupid because I will NOT forgive you.

Have a very Okayish New Year!

#33581 Why I Hate People and How My Rants Are Likely Your Fault.

Weirdly I feel like the holidays are the times when I get most ranty but also when I'm filled with the most ...niceness? Caring? Generosity? So I guess this means the rant thing is your fault.
Probably. I mean it's certainly not MY fault, doy.

In my newsfeed on GrossBook.

Me: asking a question out of actual ignorance of a subject and wanting to learn.
Other People: THESE ARE NOT JOKING MATTERS I AM SO OFFENDED.

The next day...

The same Other People: WHY YOU GOTTA GET SO OFFENDED BY A GENERATIONAL TERM, HMMM?

Y'all wear me right the fuck out.
Like my kids, only I can't reach you to smack you in the back of the head.

I mean if I had a nickel for every time I said "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??" to my computer, I would have a couple socks full of nickels with which to beat you.

And yes, I COULD BE MORE HOSTILE if I wanted to.
I could be calling you out by name. AND Middle Naming you.
You do not want that.

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AND ANOTHER THING.
This time of the year (well I guess it happens ALL year but it just gets worse in the Holiday Spirit)
everyone's picking on Walmart.
Now you're going to boycott them because the owners and corporate fatcats are getting richer off the backs of their underpaid, welfare-getting employees.
And I TOTALLY feel you. I get it.
I guess what I'm not understanding is the need to focus all your hate for Greedy Corporations on
WalMart in particular.
I KNOW the BigWig richies are getting richer.

But let me lay some enlightenment upon you.

Taking into consideration the cost of living and the economy where *I* live, WalMart is actually one of the better-paying employers.
They are also one of the most inexpensive places to shop, even grocery wise.
For poor people like me, they can actually be a blessing.
So you go ahead and boycott, applause applause for you doing what you need to do,
but me? I'm supporting them locally.

My daughter works for Sam's Club - yep, a WalMart company. She makes twice as much there as she did at a local grocery store for the last 6 years. She gets accumulated PTO, she gets at least three holidays off completely, she got a nice 15lb turkey for Thanksgiving PLUS a bonus on her check and she's only been there 4 months.

You want to talk about boycotting a store for treating their SERIOUSLY underpaid AND undervalued employees like shit? For the Greedy Overlords to get richer off the hardworking backs of the least of the employees? Then I'm boycotting Crest Grocery store.

LOOK HERE: My kid worked for Crest for SIX YEARS. She was hired at $7.50/hour and after 90 days probation, got a raise to $8.00.
FIRST AND ONLY RAISE EVER.
Also? They required EVERY employee to work a minimum half day on EVERY holiday (because they're a 24/7 store).  How many of those holidays got any sort of bonus or holiday pay? ZERO.
One year they did actually get a Christmas bonus, $10 store gift cards that they could use only at Crest.
They don't even have a proper breakroom - they have a meeting/breakroom with a microwave.
No fridge to store stuff.
When the microwave went out, the store manager tried to get the employees to "get up a collection" to get a new one.
I was all WHAT NOPE YOU BETTER NOT! I mean that's what the "miscellaneous" line in your budget is for, buster.
Turns out that at the end of the year, whatever the Store Manager does NOT spend in his miscellaneous budget becomes HIS YEARLY BONUS.
Now THAT, my friends, IS SIMPLE GREED.
They got pizza maybe twice a year as a "thank you."
And if a customer complained on you? IMMEDIATE SUSPENSION.
Doesn't matter what actually happened, the "managers" and supervisors never had your back.
Right before my girl had to have a wisdom tooth pulled, it was so swollen and sore that she could barely talk (but of course she showed up to work), and a customer apparently took offense because she wasn't chattering at him, complained, and she got a 3 day suspension.
She also took ONE sick day in the entire six years - and called in the night before her six am shift to make sure they had time to find someone to cover.
The manager on duty said she should not call in yet, to wait and see how she felt in the morning (this was her 2nd day of feeling ill and she was feverish), and when she said no, she wanted to call in sick NOW, he threatened her with a no call no show.
For the first time ever I had (had, wanted, needed, tomato tomahto) to get involved and called that little powertripping sonofabitch up and told him how things work in the real world and he did not want to get the labor department crawling over their store.
ANYWAY. No loyalty to loyal hardworking employees.
Cheating, money-grubbing greedy store manager.
No raise for SIX YEARS.
Then we she turned in her 2 week notice, the manager she spoke to said, "we accept your full notice" and then promptly took her off the schedule completely starting that day.

If she didn't live at home, there's no possible way she could've survived on just that one job without
also getting food stamps or some other assistance.

All I'm saying is that WalMart may be a really bad guy, but they're not the only one, or even the worst.
It's simply a matter of degree.

HEY, 'TIS THE SEASON FOR THE AIRING OF THE GRIEVANCES.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.

Dear Everyone:

I am SICK UNTO DEATH of Social Media and its denizens telling me what to do, how to feel, and who to be like.

If I don't speak out - loudly - on social media about THIS outrage or THAT situation, well clearly I am just "passively accepting" of the situation. Never mind what I say or do about those things in my real life.

If I express outrage or disdain about THIS candidate or THAT candidate - on Social Media - well then clearly I am a hater or stupid or a libtard or fooled by the media or just too naive to be allowed to live. Never mind that I back up my outraged or disdainful opinion with ACTUAL FACTS, usually video and audio with the actual words coming out of the actual person's actual mouth.
But that's just spin and propaganda, of course! Never mind that they actually said it out loud on video in front of thousands of people.

If I complain about these things - on Social Media - well I'm just WRONG! Don't like it, don't read it! Unfollow! Block! Ignore!
Never mind that some of the people attacking me are friends, and their friends, and their friends, and so on and so on and so on just like that shampoo commercial. Friends I've known since college. Since high school. Since ... Social Media.

So let me just say this one time - *I* am not trying to change YOUR mind or YOUR opinions when I state my own. HOWEVER, my (fact based) opinions are just as valid as yours. I'm not asking you to agree with me, but if you open a discussion and I take part by voicing my opinion, then you need to recognize your own shitty behavior when you go on the attack and try to make me change *mine*. You need to recognize that it only hurts your cause, it doesn't help it or make your opinion any more palatable to me.

And if you disagree, that's okay too. Maybe you can't help being an asshole. So I'll just leave this here for you:

Here's what I think about that.

Dear So You Think You Can Dance:

You make me sad.
For the first time since Season 1, I am not watching on TV. I catch up when I'm in the mood, using Hulu, and truth be told I skip through a lot of it. I do not eagerly await each show as I've done in the past years. I think I might be over you, and it hurts to think so.
You know, I was very leery of the whole Stage vs. Street thing, and even though we're closing in on the end of this season, I am still a little uncertain although I've come to mostly accept this format.
But there is an entire herd of elephants in the room, so let me address the biggest one first:
PAULA ABDUL.
Seriously, Nigel Lithgoe? Have you lost your memory as well as your mind? Don't you remember the trainwreck that was Paula Abdul on your other show (which should've been put down at least 5 seasons ago), American Idol? Watching her spit out her nonsensical word salad critiques is just painful.
WE DO NOT WANT HER.  And speaking of AI, you do remember what happened when you started switching up judges and formats over there, right? An avalanche of lost ratings and free fall into becoming a joke rather than a talent-finding show.
And then there's Jason Derulo. He doesn't seem particularly knowledgeable about what the show is trying to accomplish AND his personality is fairly lame in this context. I don't particularly care for his music (just a personal opinion) and his "dancing" skills aren't anything to write home about.
WE DO NOT WANT HIM.

We want Mary back. We want Adam Shankman and Christina Applegate and Anna Kendrick and Debbie Allen back as guest judges - most of them actually contribute something to both the show and the dancers, plus they're funny, clever, witty, and entertaining...all the things that Paula and Jason are not.

What is really burning my ass is that show a couple weeks ago where all three of you judges criticized the DANCERS for the terrible (and lame) choreography and the costumes. SRSLY? It's not the dancers' fault, and if you have a problem with the choreography and/or costumes then you all three need to grow a pair and point a finger at who's responsible, and it ain't those dancers who're up there on stage working their asses off.
It can't be any coincidence that there have been an unusually high number of injuries this season as well - either it's bad choreography or the dancers are injuring themselves so that you don't criticize them for things over which they have no control - trying to draw your attention to their moves instead of what they're wearing.
Nigel, Paula, Jason (especially Nigel): GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE NEXT SEASON. I have a bad feeling that things are going to spiral downhill from here.

Hoping you pull your heads out of your asses soon,
Me

P.S. I do love seeing Travis and Twitch
P.P.S. #TeamGabby #TeamJaja #TeamNeptune

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Dear ALL COURT CLERKS who quit because you suddenly got religion and same-sex licenses violate your beliefs:

I would like to know why it did not ALSO violate your "religious beliefs" to file divorce papers - especially ones listing the cause as adultery. Adultery is one of The Big 10 No-Nos. Or did you forget that in your eagerness to grab your 15 minutes of fame?
I'm glad you're out of a job now. I hope no one else will hire you. Ever.

With concern for your weird "value system",
Me

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Dear Idiots Posting signs in your restaurants and stores and other public venues about how you will not be serving The Gay Type People:

You do realize that every gay person is not wearing a nametag or t-shirt that says "HI! I'm BIG GAY DAN!", right? You do realize that you will be turning away straight people who you "think" might be gay simply because of your own skewed perception of what a gay person might look/sound/act like, right?
YOU DO REALIZE HOW INSANE THAT IS, RIGHT?
And that you've served hundreds of gay people already without ever even knowing?
So how does it make sense to put up a sign like that? If I were gay, I would walk right in and you would serve me and never know, until I turned at the door to announce it REALLY LOUD. I hope people do that to you, whether they are straight or gay. Good luck (not really).

With concern for your complete lack of any logic,
Me

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Dear Duggar Family and your supporters:

I can't even.
#Hypocrites #FakeChristians #Enablers #Liars #Cheaters #Pedophiles #Molesters #Adulterers #KeepingTheWomenBarefootAndPregnant #VictimBlamers #CoveringUpTheCrimes #Karma

I loathe you with every fiber of my being,
Me

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And now, a picture of my boyfriend right before he left this morning:

SHUT IT.

I've seen this button appear on  my facebook newsfeed...

...and it is BUGGING THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the sentiment behind it: greedy retailers blahblahblah greedy consumerism blahblahblah.

And for the record, I hate that people become animals on Black Friday (and now Thanksgiving Thursday)...great sales and saving a considerable amount of $ is no reason for everyone to suddenly go feral. It's disgusting and horrible.

But what, only people in retail deserve a holiday, to spend time with their families?

What about that guy at 7-11, who makes sure you have coffee and gasoline to get to your big ol' family gathering?

What about the pilot and flight attendants who make sure your family gets there on their flight?
Or the people at the rent-a-car place when your family gets off the plane at 7am on Thanksgiving morning?

I was in the hotel business for many years, and guess what? Without us working on holidays, away from OUR families, YOUR family wouldn't have anyplace to stay when they come to gather 'round the turkey at your house. They wouldn't have wakeup calls or complimentary coffee in the lobby before they get to your house. Or anyplace to get a toothbrush because Aunt Gertrude forgot to pack hers.

I BELIEVE IN FAMILY TOO.
But sometimes circumstances are what they are and most people are aware - BEFORE they accept a job - whether or not holidays are required. Most places rotate their employees on holiday shifts every year so that they do get a chance to spend time with their family on holidays.

And lest we forget - some people don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Or Christmas.
Some people have no family or friends to celebrate with.
Some people have no family or friends they WANT to celebrate with.

Face it: for many, many types of business, NOT JUST RETAIL, working on holidays is a Thing. It has always been a Thing and will likely continue to be a Thing.
And whether you decide to shop on Thanksgiving or not, some stores will still choose to be open.

Be honest - have you NEVER gone to the movies on Thanksgiving or Christmas? For some families, it's a tradition to hit a movie together. What about THOSE employees, hmmmmm?

When I worked at Hertz Worldwide Reservations center, we got paid DOUBLE time and a half for holiday shifts, and I needed the money so desperately I was glad to volunteer to work it.

OH RIGHT, those aren't greedy retail jobs so those employees don't deserve the time off to be with their families.
My mistake.

Brand THIS: A BigAss Change

After...what, 8 years?...I am going to change the name of this blog. YES YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY. I don't give two shits about all the fancy "You are a brand. Be your brand. Represent your brand" talk. I am not a brand, I am a person. I am a blogger. I am a mother. I am a friend and a daughter and a sister and an aunt. I am not a brand. Although if I WAS a brand, it would totes be designer quality. Is all I'm saying. See, when I started this particular blog in 2005, it was sort of a riff on our local newspaper, The Daily Oklahoman. Back in the beginning, I kind of had it set up with sections and labels mirroring the newspaper. Somehow that whole thing got left by the wayside some years ago. ALSO (and more importantly) THERE ARE TOO MANY OTHER BLOGS USING THE SAME NAME. Even facebook pages! I DO NOT LIKE THAT. So I'm going to be going with one of my tag lines as the new Name. So if you still have blogrolls or whatever people are using nowadays AND if I'm still on that whatever, We (the royal We, you know, because I am the Queen of My Blog) will hereafter be known as Brain Soup For The Dysfunctional Soul. Or "Brain Soup" for short or if you're just too damn lazy to type out the whole thing. So go. Update. DO IT OR I WILL CUT YOU LIKE A CHEAP STEAK.

Stuff I don't get.

I have yet to read a reasonable explanation that makes ANY sort of logical sense from those parents who BAN HARRY POTTER books and movies because they're so chock-full of THE DEVIL STUFF: sorcery and witchcraft and evil...when those same parents welcome Disney with open arms.

Like...Sleeping Beauty - you know, with Maleficent and magic spinning wheels and those silly little fairies.
Or Cinderella - you know, with a fairy godmother wielding her magic wand and turning veggies and farm animals into other stuffs. Not to mention talking mice.
And Snow White, where murder is the main theme.
Or like Aladdin, with the magic carpets and wish-granting genies and evil Grand Vizier.
And take the Little Mermaid - sixteen WHOLE YEARS OLD giving up her voice to a spellcasting octopus, while her dad carries a giant magic fork.
We can't forget Peter Pan, with the sewing on of shadows, the magic dust (PCP? DRUGS THAT MAKE YOU THINK YOU CAN FLY!), nasty little vicious Tinkerbell, murdering mermaids...
And let us not forget Beauty and the Beast, where an enchantress turned everyone into mundane objects...except for that giant, hairy, bloodthirsty beastie.

And that's a fraction of the list.

GOOD SENSE. You should get some, it's nice.

Also I'd rather watch Drew on The Price Is Right

Dear THE VIEW:

See, wouldn't you have rather had ME on The View Moms panel instead of some of those namby-pamby mommybloggers? Because you can't get those "Oh, Joy's hair looked so cute today" and "HAHA Whoopi is so funny!" tweets just ANYWHERE, you know.
OH WAIT. Yes you can.


WHO'S SORRY NOW, HUH??
HUH??

Too late for you. I've moved on to sex toys which are way more funner anyway.
Yes I said FUNNER. On PURPOSE.

Love,
Me

Why I Hate People #87458

I will never understand why people get all smug, self-righteous, supercilious, smirky, and a bunch of other S words over online dating services.

"OH, I would NEVER use eHarmony/match.com/yahoo personals to find a date! It's just too ickytackygross for WORDS!"
"Really? Too bad. So, how did you meet your spouse?"
"We met on Facebook/Twitter/adult chat room/playing World of Warcraft."

Here's a clue, Sherlock: Online dating is online dating, no matter whether you use an "introduction" service like eharmony/match.com or not. You can try to pretty it up and rationalize all you want, but the end result is the same.

Srsly.