#33581 Why I Hate People and How My Rants Are Likely Your Fault.

Weirdly I feel like the holidays are the times when I get most ranty but also when I'm filled with the most ...niceness? Caring? Generosity? So I guess this means the rant thing is your fault.
Probably. I mean it's certainly not MY fault, doy.

In my newsfeed on GrossBook.

Me: asking a question out of actual ignorance of a subject and wanting to learn.
Other People: THESE ARE NOT JOKING MATTERS I AM SO OFFENDED.

The next day...

The same Other People: WHY YOU GOTTA GET SO OFFENDED BY A GENERATIONAL TERM, HMMM?

Y'all wear me right the fuck out.
Like my kids, only I can't reach you to smack you in the back of the head.

I mean if I had a nickel for every time I said "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??" to my computer, I would have a couple socks full of nickels with which to beat you.

And yes, I COULD BE MORE HOSTILE if I wanted to.
I could be calling you out by name. AND Middle Naming you.
You do not want that.

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AND ANOTHER THING.
This time of the year (well I guess it happens ALL year but it just gets worse in the Holiday Spirit)
everyone's picking on Walmart.
Now you're going to boycott them because the owners and corporate fatcats are getting richer off the backs of their underpaid, welfare-getting employees.
And I TOTALLY feel you. I get it.
I guess what I'm not understanding is the need to focus all your hate for Greedy Corporations on
WalMart in particular.
I KNOW the BigWig richies are getting richer.

But let me lay some enlightenment upon you.

Taking into consideration the cost of living and the economy where *I* live, WalMart is actually one of the better-paying employers.
They are also one of the most inexpensive places to shop, even grocery wise.
For poor people like me, they can actually be a blessing.
So you go ahead and boycott, applause applause for you doing what you need to do,
but me? I'm supporting them locally.

My daughter works for Sam's Club - yep, a WalMart company. She makes twice as much there as she did at a local grocery store for the last 6 years. She gets accumulated PTO, she gets at least three holidays off completely, she got a nice 15lb turkey for Thanksgiving PLUS a bonus on her check and she's only been there 4 months.

You want to talk about boycotting a store for treating their SERIOUSLY underpaid AND undervalued employees like shit? For the Greedy Overlords to get richer off the hardworking backs of the least of the employees? Then I'm boycotting Crest Grocery store.

LOOK HERE: My kid worked for Crest for SIX YEARS. She was hired at $7.50/hour and after 90 days probation, got a raise to $8.00.
FIRST AND ONLY RAISE EVER.
Also? They required EVERY employee to work a minimum half day on EVERY holiday (because they're a 24/7 store).  How many of those holidays got any sort of bonus or holiday pay? ZERO.
One year they did actually get a Christmas bonus, $10 store gift cards that they could use only at Crest.
They don't even have a proper breakroom - they have a meeting/breakroom with a microwave.
No fridge to store stuff.
When the microwave went out, the store manager tried to get the employees to "get up a collection" to get a new one.
I was all WHAT NOPE YOU BETTER NOT! I mean that's what the "miscellaneous" line in your budget is for, buster.
Turns out that at the end of the year, whatever the Store Manager does NOT spend in his miscellaneous budget becomes HIS YEARLY BONUS.
Now THAT, my friends, IS SIMPLE GREED.
They got pizza maybe twice a year as a "thank you."
And if a customer complained on you? IMMEDIATE SUSPENSION.
Doesn't matter what actually happened, the "managers" and supervisors never had your back.
Right before my girl had to have a wisdom tooth pulled, it was so swollen and sore that she could barely talk (but of course she showed up to work), and a customer apparently took offense because she wasn't chattering at him, complained, and she got a 3 day suspension.
She also took ONE sick day in the entire six years - and called in the night before her six am shift to make sure they had time to find someone to cover.
The manager on duty said she should not call in yet, to wait and see how she felt in the morning (this was her 2nd day of feeling ill and she was feverish), and when she said no, she wanted to call in sick NOW, he threatened her with a no call no show.
For the first time ever I had (had, wanted, needed, tomato tomahto) to get involved and called that little powertripping sonofabitch up and told him how things work in the real world and he did not want to get the labor department crawling over their store.
ANYWAY. No loyalty to loyal hardworking employees.
Cheating, money-grubbing greedy store manager.
No raise for SIX YEARS.
Then we she turned in her 2 week notice, the manager she spoke to said, "we accept your full notice" and then promptly took her off the schedule completely starting that day.

If she didn't live at home, there's no possible way she could've survived on just that one job without
also getting food stamps or some other assistance.

All I'm saying is that WalMart may be a really bad guy, but they're not the only one, or even the worst.
It's simply a matter of degree.

HEY, 'TIS THE SEASON FOR THE AIRING OF THE GRIEVANCES.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.

May all your wishbone wishes come true

November is really the busiest month of the year, full of all the things - Movember, NaNoWriMo, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and that one thing... what is it...with the food and family and such. TurkeyEatin' Day. Also known as yesterday.

And everyone saying the things they're thankful for.

Those people stopped asking me to post what I was thankful for when I wrote
"Today I'm thankful that I wasn't forced to stab anyone" and "I'm thankful Mr/Ms X lives over a thousand miles away so I don't have to actually visit but I can totally yet insincerely say GEE WHIZ I WISH I COULD BE THERE by text or email" and "I'm thankful my kid is old enough to go into the liquor store so I don't have to get out of the car."
#KeepinItReal

I wrote this several years ago but during these troubled, divisive, frightening times, I thought I would repost so that *I* can remember to keep this in my heart and mind.

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On being full of thankful.

A few days ago someone posted, "What are you thankful for this week?"
and my first thought was...nothing special.

WHAT?! NOTHING SPECIAL?!

What I mean is, there was nothing different about my level of thankfulness.
Every single morning that I open my eyes, I am thankful.
For the sunshine or the rain.
For my kids.
For coffee.
For family and friends, and the love and support they give so generously.
For love and forgiveness.
For the kindness of strangers.
For the food in our bellies.
For the roof over our heads.
For having a vehicle to drive.
For central heat and air.
For the ability to still be able to take care of my son, despite the back pain and arthritis.
For my daughter's job.
For the ability to work for myself, on my own schedule, and mostly at home to be with my boy.
For an income that, while tiny, is still enough to cover the bills.
In short, every day I am thankful for all that I have, all I've been given, all I am blessed with.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

So yeah, I'm glad everyone is thinking of things they're thankful for on this special day...but for me I'm thankful for nothing special...just everything.

On being full of thankful.

A few days ago someone posted, "What are you thankful for this week?"
and my first thought was...nothing special.

WHAT?! NOTHING SPECIAL?!

What I mean is, there was nothing different about my level of thankfulness.
Every single morning that I open my eyes, I am thankful.
For the sunshine or the rain.
For my kids.
For coffee.
For family and friends, and the love and support they give so generously.
For love and forgiveness.
For the kindness of strangers.
For the food in our bellies.
For the roof over our heads.
For having a vehicle to drive.
For central heat and air.
For the ability to still be able to take care of my son, despite the back pain and arthritis.
For my daughter's job.
For the ability to work for myself, on my own schedule, and mostly at home to be with my boy.
For an income that, while tiny, is still enough to cover the bills.
In short, every day I am thankful for all that I have, all I've been given, all I am blessed with.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

So yeah, I'm glad everyone is thinking of things they're thankful for on this special day...but for me I'm thankful for nothing special...just everything.

Single Mother's Day - a guest post

Every once in awhile, someone will request a little space for a guest post - sometimes they want a different readership from their "regulars", or anonymity, or (and this I find unbelievable) they are actually BLOGLESS.
Heaven forfend!
Of course this space is always available to those people as long as they're willing to dust the cobwebs from the corners first and clean up any debris or destruction if they post something controversial - with the caveat that I will most likely correct any misspellings or glaringly obvious grammatical and punctuation errors.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
I don't notice my own typos, but I sure can see the ones other people make.
Sorry.
Anyway.
On Mother's Day, I gave a passing thought to the single moms like me who have no ex around to remind the kids to make mommy a card or to buy them a gift "from the kids", or even just say "tell your mom Happy Mother's Day".
Turns out one of my closest friends (and fellow member of the Single Mom's Club) was on the same wavelength, and she's sent her thoughts on the matter.

Please welcome first time guest poster, Jami (yaaaaah me) Reyes.
Show her some comment love, if you please.

Jami sez:

I saw a Facebook post the other day that got me thinking. It was a post about celebrating "military wives". Women who stay home while their husbands are shipped out for military duty. I got to thinking... how come we don't have a "single moms" day? Don't get me wrong, I respect military families and I'm thankful for their service to this country. But what about the single moms? The single moms who raise respectable young men and women who will eventually serve this country. Maybe not always in the military but definitely to society.

Why don't they get a day?

I'm not talking about the single moms who have exes in the picture... dads who are involved in their children's lives. I'm talking about the single moms who haven't seen their exes since the day the baby was born. The single moms whose husbands disappeared when things just didn't go the way they planned. The single moms who are mom and dad to their kids ALL the time and don't get two weekends off.  You know those moms? The ones who wake up in the morning, make coffee, take the laundry out from the night before, make school lunches, drop kids off at school, then go to work all day, pick up their kids at daycare or afterschool, come home and make dinner, go over homework, study the spelling words, get baths ready, throw in a load of laundry, clean up the kitchen, put kids to bed and then wake up the next day to do it all over again... every day... seven days a week, 365 days a year... for life. I'm talking about the single mom who balances her life and her finances depending on one person: herself.  I'm talking about the single mom who doesn't wait for her child support check every month because there isn't one. The single mom who wakes up in the middle of the night wondering how she's going to make ends meet this month, or if college is in the kids' future because there isn't enough money to put into that savings account, or how she really wishes she could go on the "girl's trip to Vegas" but she doesn't have anyone to leave the kids with or the money to spend.

Next time you think of how hard it is because your ex is late picking up the kids, think of the single mom whose ex just never bothered showing up one day... seven years ago.


**Holla at me if you want to guest post

OMJ SERIOUSLY.

I celebrate the "Christ" part of Christmas, so don't YOU trample on MY rights and beliefs by telling me I shouldn't say "Merry Christmas".

I mean seriously, feel free to wish ME a Happy Hannukah or Kwaanza or Festivus or Molepeople Day or even Creepy Scientology Day.

Why do you care how I celebrate, or care what my Reason For The Season is? I ain't tryin' to get all up in your holiday bizness.

WHY would I complain about any of that when there are so many other things to complain about?

Also if I was a total Grinchy McScrooge I would wish you a Merry Christmas RIGHT NOW just to piss you off. OH WAIT....

HOLIDAY GIVEAWAYS! Gift ideas!

See, this is the time EVERY year when I start to panic.
I mean CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE FOR CRAP'S SAKE AND I HAVE BOUGHT NOTHING.

Well, not NOTHING -- my kids are pretty easy at the moment... my 14 year old daughter is NUTSO CRAZY for Bon Jovi.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
I have raised her correctly, OBVIOUSLY. She loves the 80s, just like mom.
MY mom calls it "brainwashing" but whatever.

My son? Well, he likes videos. DONE.

But everyone else? NO. IDEA.
I'm so lame at the whole gift buying thingie. Zero imagination.

So THANK GOODNESS, once again, for Mom Central's Gift Guide!
Plus also -- GIVEAWAYS! FREE STUFF!
Who does NOT love free stuff, especially at this time of year? Only someone much dumber than me.

Head on over to Mom Central and check out the reviews and the sponsors for the giveaways -- if you can't get some excellent gift ideas from all of that, then you're beyond hope.
There is TONS of cool stuff.
Just log in and win!

Now excuse me, I must SHOP. Which I HATE. I would like to marry the creator of ONLINE SHOPPING because it is the only way to go.
Only I don't get to yell at people, but hey, that's a small sacrifice.

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OH YEAH HERE'S THAT ONE THING I HAVE TO ADD BECAUSE OF THE CHEATERS:
"I wrote this review while participating in a blog campaign by Mom Central. Mom Central entered my name in a random drawing to win a gift to thank me for taking the time to participate."

Doing my part to save the forests.

I KNOW how you sit by your mailbox every year just WAITING for...
that Christmas card from me.

Many of you know (from personal experience) that typically at Christmas time I send out about a fafillion Christmas (not holiday!) cards, hand addressed and each with a personal hand-written note JUST FOR YOU inside.
I know it's not much -- you may think it's nothing.
But in some tiny way, to me it represents how much I care for you that I would
A. Take time away from work AND the computer
B. Actually HAND WRITE a personal note (every year I have to remind myself how to actually write in cursive)
C. Get writers cramp and also that weird bump that you get on your middle finger, you know? Where it's sore? With an indentation? Yeah that thing.
4. Actually GO INTO THE POST OFFICE and STAND IN LINE and BUY STAMPS. You KNOW how I hate to get out of the house.

So really, there's more involved than you think. No pre-printed "Happy Holidays! akaMonty and Family" messages. No picture thingies printed out out Walgreen's.
NOT THAT THERE IS A SINGLE THING WRONG WITH THAT -- I DEARLY LOVE TO RECEIVE THEM FROM YOU. It means you're thinking of me, and I love you for that.

But I have so little to give that I like to make it special and just for each of you alone. It's like...okay, if you laugh or make fun of me I will stab your eyes out some night in your sleep when you least expect it...like a warm little hug from me to you each year.

SHUT UP I KNOW IT IS CORNY BUT KISS MY ASS.

ANYWAY.

Having said ALL that, I didn't want you to be sitting there endlessly, waiting and waiting this year. I don't want your feelings to be hurt when the post(wo)man doesn't bring you a card from me.

Frankly, this year has been a real struggle for me and the kids; we've had lots of extra challenges and road bumps and DESPITE the fact that I have some fabulously generous people in my life who've helped me more than I can say... well, I'm just not up to it this year.
I'm very sorry.

So here's your hug and your kiss and your Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy Chaka Khan. ♥♥♥♥

Celebrate it by doing something unexpected this year.

Thanks Easter Bunny! BOC BOC!

What I want to know are these two things:

1. What is the LONGEST period of time an Easter egg has gone unfound in your house?
and
B. Have you ever tried to make a S'more out of a chocolate bunny, a Peep, and a graham cracker?
Because I was thinking of trying that and pretending they were real animals.
I mean... what?

PHD - Post Holiday Depression

Sometimes I feel like I don't matter.

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I don't say that so that everyone will go OOOH, OF COURSE YOU DO! and give me some validation.
Okay, maybe it is a LITTLE bit.
Sometimes I need validation as much as the next guy...if the next guy is incredibly needy and sometimes wallows in a bottomless pit of zero self-esteem.
It's the holidays and the wintertime getting me down. The upside is that the holiday hoopla is almost over and I can relax a little bit.

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Sometimes I feel left out.

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No, it's NOTHING that you've done/not done that makes me feel this way.
Yes, I have issues about not being good enough or smart enough or well-read enough or pretty enough or (fill in the blank) enough.

I'm not the only one, though, right?
Seriously. You can admit it to me. I won't tell anyone.
Promise.

Which brings me to another issue...I apologize if I've ever made you feel as though you don't matter to me, because you definitely do.

See, a lot of people think that because I don't ask questions and dig and pry into their lives, it means I don't care.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I WANT to know. I want to know the details. I want to be involved, I want to comfort you, and sometimes I just want to know the good gossip.

Some of my friends are quite comfortable with butting in and nosing around and digging into the root of someone else's problems or issues or troubles; I'm just not built that way.

I've always thought that if you WANT to tell me, you will. Also? I don't want to put someone in the position of having to lie to me if they simply do not want me to know something.

NOW I find out that guess what? You WANT to be asked. You WANT me to nag to get at the truth, because it shows that I truly care.

So, I'm sorry that I haven't asked and probed and gotten all up in your bizness.
What's weird is that I've never felt like it was my place to do that to YOU, but I've never minded someone doing it to ME.

But I will step outside my comfort zone and be nosier, because I want you to know that I care and that YOU MATTER TO ME.

Your friendships are the strong, colorful threads that weave the beautiful tapestry of my life.

'Tis the season...

WARNING! ALERT! WARNING! ALERT! WARNING! ALERT!
In the next ten days or so, I have about eleventy-fafillion reviews due...but don't let that stop you from visiting. A couple of them even include GIVEAWAYS!

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first things first...
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
As I review my list of many, many things for which I am thankful, know that YOU are on it.

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Last year around holiday time I actually had to stop blog reading, because there were so many people bitching and moaning and being OH-SO-OFFENDED by such a simple thing...the kind wish of "Merry Christmas".

I can't even tell you how much I wanted to smack those people upside the head.
I mean, really, that doesn't spread much holiday spirit, does it? Not the head-smacking, but I mean the BEING OFFENDED.

REALLY? Is THAT all you have to worry about in your life, being pissed because someone wishes you a Merry Christmas just because you don't celebrate the same way?
If so, then I envy you.

To my mind, wishing someone Merry Christmas is simply a way of spreading the joy and the spirit of peace on earth, goodwill toward men.
You don't celebrate the birth of Jesus? So what?

Some people say, "It's offensive because you're PUSHING YOUR FAITH ON ME! You're INFRINGING ON MY BELIEFS/NON BELIEFS!"

Seriously? That's what you think? So, I'm supposed to subjugate MY beliefs in favor of YOURS, which is what you're accusing ME of doing?
How..very.

Look, I don't personally care if you celebrate Jesus' birthday, the coming of Santa Claus, the Festival of Lights, Festivus, the anniversary of Barry Manilow's First #1 Hit, or nothing at all. That's your business.
But if you turn up your nose or get pissed or bitch at me because I say "Merry Christmas" (which is MY way, and I DO celebrate the birth of Jesus) rather than "Happy Holidays" or whatever...
You can suck it and take yourself right back down to your dank little cave of discontent.
How do you manage to NOT feel like a total assclam when you're bitching about it?

I mean, I'M certainly not going to be upset if you wish me Happy Hannukah or Kwanzaa or just Have A Nice Day...why should I be? It's a nice gesture. It's enjoying and embracing a time of year where we all (except for you people who just LOOOOOVE TO BE OFFENDED) try to make just the tiniest bit of effort to be kinder, to be more loving toward each other, to put aside petty annoyances and send a little good juju out into the universe.

So if you live to be offended, stay off my street, okay?

And oh yeah... MERRY CHRISTMAS in advance.

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All that said, this is the Third Annual Christmas Card List call for addresses!
If you want to get on the list, please EMAIL me your address.
I even HAND WRITE in the cards.
I KNOW, right? Who does that anymore?

I'll even try to get them out before Christmas Eve this year.

Just to cover all the bases...

A VERY HAPPY HOLIDAY, NO MATTER HOW YOU CHOOSE TO CELEBRATE. Or not celebrate.
I love love love you all; your threads are very important in the tapestry of my life.

I choose to celebrate Christmas, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS.

No matter how you spend this day, I pray that for each of you it is filled with love, laughter, peace, and joy...and, of course, chocolate.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX from me to you.

Two little things

LAST CALL! Better hurry up if you don't want to miss your chance to get in on this hellaciously good deal!

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Missed the show Friday? No sweat, Chet.
It was DOUBLE SUPER SIZE fun--with special guest star Golfwidow followed by an unexpected guest star, Jeckles!

It was so much fun that we just kept going, for FOUR HOURS.

There was music.
There was sex talk.
There may have been an orgy.
There was fun and frolic-y goodness.

You can listen while you play around on the computer all day.

**This particular show is NOT NOT NOT for children or the easily offended. You've been warned.

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That is all.
Have a day.

Christmas Card Alert!

So comes the time of year when we think of things like cookies, reindeer, pretty lights and fat dudes in red. No, it's not the annual Vegas trip.

YOU know what I'm talking about. And may I just take a moment to point to the sidebar on the right, whereupon a tiny link called "My Wishlist" resides (hover your mouse-pointer over it for a special message). Just in case you, you know, were feeling generous or something.

NOW.
As much as I'd love to give each and every one of you one of these for Christmas, I'm a broke mofo (single-motherhood isn't so great for Gift Budgets), so don't be sitting by the mailbox waiting--you'll only be disappointed when the mailman looks at you sadly (once again) and shakes his head (once again).

HOWEVER.
I would like to send you a Christmas card--in which I will actually write. By hand, not type. Kooky, huh? I KNOW!
That means you have to email me your address. And may I just take a moment to point to the sidebar on the left, whereupon a "Contact" link resides (in big purple letters. Can't miss it).

ALSO!
I have somehow misplaced my address book, so even if you think I already have your address...I probably don't. Please send it again.

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I love you. Pass it on.