Showing posts with label Radio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Radio. Show all posts

Friday, October 24, 2008

EVERY moment could be a Hallmark moment

The other day on Twitter we were thinking up greeting cards that really ARE for every occasion.

Here are a few of my favorites that I came up with.

If you follow me on Twitter, feel free to skip this because you've probably already seen it.



You treat me like a Queen!
But for the last time, I swear I AM STRAIGHT.

I don't know what I'd do without you!
But I'd like to give it a six-month try.

I'm so sorry...
That on our recent trip to Mexico I drank the water...and shit my pants.

I'm sorry...
That I got so drunk on our date that I killed your fish when I puked in your aquarium.

I fell in love with you in cyberspace/But then we met and I saw your face/Now that's a memory I long to erase.

If I had a quarter for every time I thought of you...
I could pay the parking meter for a whole hour.

I smile when I think about you every morning...
Because I'm plotting your death.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I bought you this very expensive gift so you'd feel guilty about missing MY birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY from all of us!
Because none of us likes you well enough to spring for a card individually.

So...how many can I put you down for?


TONIGHT - 9pm Central/10pm Eastern/7pm Pacific
for
FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
Tonight's show: MOOD MUSIC

And we all know I'm a woman of many, many moods.

Tune it in. TURN IT UP.


Join the true insanity in the Chat Room.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Getting my pimp on.

First things first...
Would you LOOKA THAT? VOTE FOR ME when the voting opens. There may be a little som'm som'm in it for you.
You KNOW I'm a slut.

Come on, wouldn't you like a calendar with my picture on it? Maybe I'll get lucky & can be Ms. February and I'll wear strategically placed candy hearts.
IT COULD HAPPEN.




And also...
Don't forget to check out Mike's Place! Because he likes me better than you, I GET MY VERY OWN PAGE. Take a peep.


Last but not least...
TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE! Only on EMPIRE Radio.
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific (okay OKAY, 8pm Mountain time)

Tonight we present: Call In Your Dedication with Delilah!
Okay, it's not really Delilah. It's me. But I'm ever so much cooler and stuff.

You'll have to add me to your skype: aka.monty

Tune it in. TURN IT UP.


The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.


That is all.
Have a day.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Double Shot Of My Baby's Love...or something like that.

TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE! Only on EMPIRE Radio.
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific (okay OKAY, 8pm Mountain time)

Tonight we present: DOUBLE-SHOT FRIDAY!
It's more than just music. It's a drinking game.
The best of both worlds, yes?
AND!
A special DOUBLE-THEME tonight that you don't want to miss!

Tune it in. TURN IT UP.


The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.


Come get a double-shot of my love, baby.

Friday, July 04, 2008

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Let's all take a moment to remember what this day means to each of us.


TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE! Only on EMPIRE Radio.
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific

Tonight we present: HOT FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME!

Having a 4th of July party? I'll play you some music that'll heat things up. Hook up the BIG speakers to your computer and...

Tune it in. TURN IT UP.


The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Time to get your groove on.

TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE! Only on EMPIRE Radio.
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific

Tonight we present: EMO-PALOOZA!
That's right -- put on your black clothes, grab a razor, and feel the angst.

Tune it in. TURN IT UP.


The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.


Hey, the cool other people do it.

Friday, June 20, 2008

It's Miller MONTY TIME!

TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific

With a very special co-ho, Jack from Wander Radio!

Time to tune it in and TURN IT UP: EMPIRE RADIO (or click Listen Here)

The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.


Hey, the cool people do it.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Because if you don't listen, you might be a douchebag.

TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific

It's PETTY-PALOOZA!!

Tom Petty, that is. And maybe some Heartbreakers.

Time to tune it in and TURN IT UP: EMPIRE RADIO (or click Listen Here)

The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.


Hey, some of the other reasonably cool kids are doin' it.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Because you BETTER NOT FORGET.

TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific

It's BILLY-PALOOZA!!

We'll be playing Billy all night long, baby.
Which Billy? I guess you'd better tune in to find out.

Time to tune it in and TURN IT UP: EMPIRE RADIO (or click Listen Here)

The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.


Hey, some of the other reasonably cool kids are doin' it.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Great Expectations. And some other crap.

I love to read. Read read read read. I don't have many requirements of a book, except that it entertain me in one way or another. And as silly as it sounds, it can't be too wordy.
You know?
Like Danielle Steele's paragraph-long sentences with fourteen commas.
And Anne Rice. Did you know it took me six years to finish "The Witching Hour"? YAWN-FEST. I thought it was going to be my downfall; become the only book I started but didn't finish.
BUT I DID IT.
Then I made the mistake of trying to read "The Hunt For Red October", which, with all the technical stuff and choppy scenes, has been half-finished for about three years now. But I refuse to give up.

ANYWAY.

One thing I really hate is a badly edited book. Typos, misspellings, grammatical errors, poorly constructed sentences...they distract my eye from the story as my mind tries to arrange them in proper form.
Really, really, really hate that.
I expect better.

Strangely, however, most of those things don't bother me in the least when it comes to blog reading...or writing.
I'm way guilty of all that stuff, and I don't proofread because if it looked right the first time, chances are I'll miss it the second.

But if one of you guys publishes a book, make sure your copyeditor does a good job.
And yes, I get the irony.


I'm thinking of homeschooling my daughter next year. Well, actually, my mom would do it.
She's a terrible student. Oh, I know, she's not the only one...but I also dislike her school.
If you've listened to my radio show or the podcast, you're aware of the current situation with the Band Candy and the trip to Six Flags Over Texas (the conclusion of which will be vented tomorrow, live on the show).
Dealing with the teachers, two principals, and a member of the schoolboard lodged the seed of discontent even deeper in my heart.
But my daughter is still not a good student, either way. She doesn't turn in her work. She doesn't do her stupid bellwork. She doesn't, despite the fact that she's grounded and yelled at, remember to take two seconds to put the homework in a folder that is specifically labeled for that purpose. She doesn't remember to write in her agenda, on which she is graded.
She does, however, get her nightly reading done. But then she doesn't write THAT in her agenda and have me sign it, so that she can receive a grade.
I know some of it is typical...but I also know that when she was born, the bleeding in her head caused some slight damage.
It's hard, if not impossible, to separate which might be the result of birth and which might be the result of teenageritis.

Oh, I can continue to sit with her as we go through her backpack, and she can continue to quail from the look I know appears on my face when she tells me - yet again- "I forgot".
I tried to abdicate and let her wing it.
Unfortunately I don't have that thing in me that other people have, that allows them to accomplish that.
She's a good kid. A thoughtful, sweet kid. A truthful kid. A smart kid. And in so many other ways, very responsible. She's well liked by her teachers and principals.
But the stress level isn't good for my heart OR for hers, which is already oversized.

So. Homeschool. Maybe for a couple-three years.

I need help. I know a lot of you are homeschooling moms...I could REALLY REALLY use some advice.

I have absolutely no idea whether or not I'm doing the right thing.


and now for something completely different...


MY SISTER: "What does 'refute' mean?"
ME: "Repudiate."

I laughed. She didn't.


If I ever predict your death, you can trust that it'll be completely accurate...because obviously I plan to kill you.


DO.NOT.MISS my show tomorrow night!
It's YOU BE THE STAR OF MY SHOW PART II!!
There's still time for you to record your song and email it to me.

And as an added bonus...
MR. FABULOUS co-hosts!!

Monday, May 05, 2008

A delicious review...and some other stuff

One of the things I like about Mom Central is the opportunity to review cool stuff.
Well, some things are cooler than others, but hey - FREE GOODS. Right?

This time was a total score.

You know I love my coffee. I also love to try energy drinks - especially when I'm gearing up for the Blogathon and 24 hours of straight blogging. I tried a lot of coffee the first year & MAN it tore up my stomach. I had acid reflux almost until the next blogathon.

Last year I tried a variety of energy drinks, and I have to say that: TAB ENERGY DRINK tastes like a can off ass juice.
Also the Monster drink with the red writing, and some weird off-brand I bought for 89 cents at Walgreen's.
THE.SUCK.

So Mom Central asked if I'd like to try an energy drink made by Ocean Spray, and since I like their Cran-Grape, I was all for it.

What I got was a couple bottles of Cranergy, in Cranberry Lift and Raspberry Cranberry Lift.

First of all? YUM
Second of all? It didn't give me a huge rush, it didn't give me the jitters, and it didn't make me clench my jaws--which is what I do when I'm all jazzed up on caffeine and/or energy drinks.

What I liked about Cranergy (besides the delicious flavor) was that it did give me a gentle boost and sort of...unfuzzed my tired brain. I felt more alert and awake.
The first bottle I drank in the morning-time in lieu of coffee; I KNOW, right? But it seemed to do the trick, and I didn't even have to wait for it to brew.
The second bottle I tried the next day in the late afternoon (around 4pm I usually start fading & need a lift), and it boosted me nicely so that I didn't yawn my way through dinner. Also? Did NOT make it hard for me to sleep that night.

It's got green tea extract, antioxidents, the all-important B vitamins and - here's the good part if you're a calorie counter - 50% fewer calories compared to other energy drinks and sodas.
Since I'm in the midst of dieting right now (BLAH!), that was a bonus.

So try some Cranergy. It does not taste like ass-juice, and is WAY tastier than Red Bull.
Is all I'm saying.




in case you missed it live...

You can get the podcast!

FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE - YOU ARE THE STAR OF MY SHOW!

It's one you don't want to miss - some of my friends from twitter.com sang some songs! They were awesome. I also had a fantastic and very funny co-ho, PseudoJoe.
It wants to be heard. It NEEDS to be heard.

This coming Friday will be YOU ARE THE STAR PART II.

Record me a song (with YOU singing, naturally), email it, and I'll play it for tens of people! Woo!
Hurry up though, I won't wait forever.

**BONUS! This week's guest co-ho is none other than Mr. Fabulous himself!
You'll really, really want to be there.

Friday, May 02, 2008

FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY

TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific

It's the YOU BE THE STAR show!!

That's right, we've got some excellent singers I found in my twitter.com stream

(PART II next week - won't you sing me a song? Be the star of Friday Night Live!)

Time to tune it in and TURN IT UP: EMPIRE RADIO

The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.


Hey, everyone else is doin' it.

Friday, April 11, 2008

It's raining babies! Halleluja!

That's right, it's a baby shower! Turn your umbrellas upside down.
Raehan is one of my oldest (and most favorite) blogfriends. She's sweet natured and gentle, super-intelligent and kind -- I know, I know, my complete opposite. Why are we friends again?
Mostly through my good luck and her bad taste. :)
ANYWAY.
The beauteous Raehan is due to give birth very, very soon, and we're having a virtual baby shower! It's open to all you lovely people, and you don't even have to bring a gift (but of course, you can if you want to - GO HERE to donate to the cause!).
Her due date is officially April 29, but since MY birthday is April 19th, I took that date in the baby pool. COME ON BABY, it's only 10 days early! Do me right.

Now, YOU run on over to Raehan's Place and tell her congratulations and have a glass of punch. Make sure you get the green punch, because that's the bowl I spiked.

LOVE YOU, RAE!! And all your babies too. xoxoxoxoxoxox


And also?

TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific

It's COLOR-PALOOZA!!
Songs with all the colors of the rainbow will abound tonight.

And Empire Radio is all moved into its new home - LISTEN HERE or HERE!

The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.


Hey, everyone else is doin' it.

Friday, April 04, 2008

TWO IMPORTANT THINGIES!

First...

TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific

It's the ALL REQUEST SHOW!!

And Empire Radio is all moved into its new home - LISTEN HERE!

The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.


Hey, everyone else is doin' it.


AND ALSO!

This Sunday, APRIL 6th at 6pm EASTERN - It's the
BIG HONKIN' DUET SHOW
with Mr. Fabulous!

You won't want to miss it on Blog Talk Radio.

Friday, March 21, 2008

It's finally Friday, thank the sweet baby Jesus.

TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
9pm CST, 10pm EST, 7pm PST

It's TEEN DREAM-A-PALOOZA!
(courtesy of Nicole and Miss Meliss)

It's like an audio edition of Tiger Beat, only with less pictures.
Can you handle the Cassidys? Leif? SPRINGFIELD?

TUNE IT IN and TURN IT UP! Listen HERE or HERE

The Mosh Pit will be open!

Hey baby, what's your sign? will be brought to you by Random Nicole!

Some of the cool kids will be there. Don't you want to hang out with us?


Dear Seattle,

Keep your stinking basketball team. Srsly. Shut up the bitching. Sure, I agree you deserve a nice new arena...but if the fans would've been more supportive BEFORE NOW, the move wouldn't be in question.
So suck it.

Love and kisses,
Monty


Dear Grant Hill,

You and the basketball you rode in on, pal. You just sound ignorant sometimes...like when you open your mouth.
FYI, it's only cold here like three months out of the year.
So you can suck it too.

And PS your friends Shaq & Charles Barkley can suck it as well. We have more than chickens here, we also have gay-bashing politicians, mullet-wearing rednecks, and judges who whack off whilst hearing cases on the bench. We've got plenty enough to be embarrassed about without you throwing poultry in the mix.

Love and kisses,
Monty

Friday, March 07, 2008

Self Promotion, because my middle name is Vanity

Plus I need the comfort of the ego-stroking, since my car died yesterday and we're waiting on the autopsy to be complete before we can bury it. *sob*


Can you believe it? Someone put an old post of mine on Digg; maybe you could digg it, baby.


AND!
I didn't campaign for votes last year...but what the hell, everyone else does it and I'm just a black sheep anyways:

VOTE FOR ME! I'm totally the UNDER underdog. Like the one at the very bottom of the dogpile.
I know some of 'em are a real stretch, but just do it, 'kay?

My site was nominated for Best Podcast!

My site was nominated for Hottest Mommy Blogger!

My site was nominated for Best Blog of All Time!

My site was nominated for Best Blog Design!

Yes, I totally voted for myself. But I voted for some of you guys, too, so it all works out.


TONIGHT! FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
9pm CST, 10pm EST, 7pm PST

It's COVER-PALOOZA!
Good covers, bad covers, covers you didn't know existed.

TUNE IT IN and TURN IT UP! Listen HERE or HERE

The Mosh Pit will be open!


Some of the cool kids will be there. Don't you want to hang out with them?


AND!
Last but not least:

Listen to the podcast of me on the air with Jeckles on Shitty Blog Radio -- at least, listen to it as soon as he gets it posted tonight.


That is all.
Have a day.

Friday, February 29, 2008

I know, I'm a slacker AND a liar.

Hey, it's just part of my charm.
It really wasn't all my fault this time; we've all taken turns being sick with that flu-like disease that isn't really the flu.
ANYWAY.

LOOKA THIS!



I've got a rap sheet!



Apparently Miss SEXYpants thinks I am ridiculous! woo!
Oh.
I mean, a Ridiculously Awesome Person. :)


Well, let me just tell you that MISS SEXYPANTS IS THE AWESOME ONE. Yeah.
Plus also? She made me a VIDEO!
She's way cooler than me.
She's way cooler than a lot of you guys, too. ;)

Thanks so much, Karen Sugarpants!

Now, all of you go tell her how ridiculously awesome SHE is.


And don't forget....

FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
(with me, of course)
Tonight. 9pm CST, 10pm EST
Only on Empire Radio


It's HENDRIX-PALOOZA!

Tune in HERE or HERE.

THE MOSH PIT will be open!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Slacky McSlackerson

I'm really trying to get motivated. I AM.
Plus? I got tagged for 2 memes, and you KNOW you want to be in on that.
I'll get to it this week.
Maybe I'll even leave comments! woo!


But for now...
FEAST YOUR EARS!

The lovely Random Nicole and Veenus had moi as a guest on their podcast, It's Not Us, It's YOU.

AND!

BEATLES-PALOOZA!! If you missed it live Friday night, get the Podcast here.


one more thing...

I'm not planning to watch the Oscars, since the only movies I've seen are the animated ones.

So, entertain me. TELL ME WHAT CATEGORY YOU JUST WON, AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST ACCEPTANCE SPEECH.

Friday, February 22, 2008

FAB FOUR PLUS ME! woo!

but first...

I am made of suck.
I just realized I have not blogged ALL WEEK, not since last Friday.
THE HELL??

Plus also? I have not even read my bloglines. I am a terrible friend. I KNOW.
Sorry.
I'll try to make it up with you in sexual favors, 'kay? If you'll just line up over to the left...


FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
(with me, of course)
Tonight. 9pm CST, 10pm EST
Only on Empire Radio


It's BEATLES-PALOOZA!

Who doesn't love The Fab Four?

Tune in HERE or HERE.

THE MOSH PIT will be open!

Friday, February 15, 2008

HUNGRY FOR SOME MEATLOAF??

FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
(with me, of course)
Tonight. 9pm CST, 10pm EST
Only on Empire Radio


It's MEATLOAF-A-PALOOZA! woo!

Tune in HERE or HERE.

THE MOSH PIT will be open!


Bring what's left of your Valentine candy and come on over.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Because it's friday and because I can.

Just in case you were planning to do something else tonight:

FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
(with me, of course)
Tonight. 9pm CST, 10pm EST
Only on Empire Radio


It's FLOYD-A-PALOOZA!
(PINK FLOYD, that is)

Tune in HERE or HERE.

CHAT ROOM will be open!


Srsly. All the cool kids are doing it.