Monday, June 18, 2007

Shitty Blog Survivor Journal, Task 1 (for real this time)

Dear Diary,

This sucks.

Man, it's hot as hell on this island and people are starting to get a little wiggy. As I mentioned in my letter to Jeckles...Tammy has taken to living in the tree-tops and dropping coconuts upon the heads of the unwary who walk beneath her trees, Nat shoots me the bird and says "NYAH NYAH NYAH" every time I get near her, and I haven't seen Chad or Mike in days--Mango is looking well-satisfied and rather...plumpish, so I'm afraid he might have eaten them. Plus I think Rose spit in my cookie, even though she says she didn't. But it tastes funny.

Yummy was talking about swimming to a neighboring island but she wasn't sure if the fins in the water were dolphins or sharks. I'm certain they're sharks, but I think I've just about got her convinced that they're cute, friendly dolphins. MUAHAHAHAH!

Sparky is smoking some weird grass he pulled up near the beach, and if I sit too close to him whilst he's smoking I get all giggly and stuff and then I want to eat raw fish. Utopia and Mango are doing some "Evil Genius" plotting thing...I see them sneering at the rest of us from time to time. Also they're drinking coconut liqueur as they sit in the turtle-powered hot tub, which might make it worth sucking up to them.

Anyway. So far I'm attempting to be relatively nice to these freaks people, because you never know when one of them may be useful. Since most of you know how much I dislike people in general, you can understand how difficult that is for me.

Still so thirsty...

In my dehydration-induced delirium, I thought last week was the deadline for task one...and I was wrong. I further thought that I'd come up with my final answer for the task...and once again I was wrong.

I know, right? Wrong twice in one day? I can only claim to have been influenced by the pills I took from Mango's man-purse.

I think this time I've got it, though.

Shitty Blogs Club: "Stinking up online communities since 2003"

Shitty Blogs Club: "It's not that we don't give a crap....well, is."

And that's my final final answer. Fo' reals yo.

Now all that remains is to listen to Shitty Blog Radio on Thursday at 10pm EST for the results.


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