What happens next will BLOW YOUR MIND! #FakeUpworthyTitle

(*off topic: I typed "booger.com" instead of "blogger.com" to get to here, heeheehee)

As a follow-up to the previous Spartan Race post, a most precious gift has been bestowed 'pon me...
A FREE RACE CODE!
Yes, I'm not even joking. A code good for ONE FREE SPARTAN RACE for any open heat (non-confirmed start time) in the continental US of A.

Being the totes unselfish, super generous lazy person that I am, I have decided to once again GIVE THIS AWAY to a lucky reader!
Want it?
Leave a comment here, or on facebook, or twitter responding to this post.
I will draw a name from the hat or some such other scientifical thing.

GO SPARTAN!

Is that a Magic Stick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Can I stuff your stocking with my Magic Stick?

Why don't you bring that Magic Stick over here and...charge me up?

Wait wait wait, this is starting off in a whole other place than I wanted to be.
Sorry.
Ahem.

Okay, so I got this Magicstick to review from Powerocks USA. It's a portable charger, and...

I FREAKING LOVE IT so far.

The fine folks at Powerocks were kind enough to send me one of these portable chargers to try out (they sent me a silver one but it also comes in a variety of pretty colors! I wish I'd got a green one but HEY FREE so I am not complaining). It's lightweight and compact - perfect for your pocket or purse. (and it even has a little velvet bag in which to store it)

One of the upsides is that it's so easy that a monkey could use it. You press a button on the end to check the charge with an LED light: blue is full, green is 70%-30% charge, and red means PLUG ME IN NOW. 

Actually it kind of reminds me of the thingy I had in the hospital when I was hooked up to morphine - just hold it and use your thumb to press the button every 8 minutes for deliciously dreamy pain relief which is probably another reason why I like this.

It's got two portals on the bottom - one for a standard USB and one for a tiny plug. Fortuitously, the charger cord for the Magicstick actually fits my kindle touch and my slide-open-keyboard T-Mobile phone (I don't have any kind of smart phone. I barely have the next step up from a flip phone - which is actually what I used up until a few months ago - but this charger worked on my sister's iPhone when I tested it) - so that's two less cords I have to worry about right there. Bonus! 

Also I use a USB adapter for a wall outlet, and the Magicstick can be used with that or charged from your laptop. 

I got the 'Stick fully loaded...then I charged my kindle (which was only at 1/4 power) AND then I charged the iPod nano (which was dead), and the Magicstick was still in the green when that was finished.

This little gadget is so cool! I remember when I took a train to Chicago from TX, and when I got to the train station I had to wait and then fight for an outlet to charge my phone enough so that I could call my friend to come pick me up. NEVER. AGAIN!
The 'Stick is supposed to deliver up to 2 full charges before needing to be recharged itself...I'd say that seems likely, judging by the use I gave it today.

I can't say how well this will work in the long term, since I just got it, but to all my friends who have long commutes or travel a lot and are always forgetting to bring at least one of the chargers they need for this or that - YOU NEED A MAGICSTICK. 

So stuff those stockings, charge yourselves up, and keep that Magic Stick in your pocket, mister!

(PS: Yes, I was given one free magicstick to review and either keep for myself OR host a giveaway - yeah, I'm keeping it. Get your own. No really, get your own. You'll thank me later.)
(PPS: Also I have received NO OTHER COMPENSATION except for the magicstick, and I wasn't told what kind of a review to give - if you've been a reader of this blog for any amount of time then you don't need to be told again that I only review products I'm interested in trying, and I will only write honest reviews -  if a product sucks I'll tell you why I thought it sucked. I won't do reviews for any company who puts conditions or restrictions on my reviews. Shit, you made me tell you again anyway.)

Grin and bare it.

Okay, so I loooove trying out new skin care products. I review them every chance I get -- I have some favorites, but often those are the most expensive ones so once my review sample is gone, I go back to my same ol' ways. But I keep trying every single product that is offered to me.
It's sort of like the Princess kissing all those frogs; eventually there will be some magic transformation.
I'm not really sure if I'm the Princess or the frog in this scenario. ANYWAY.

I really have trouble with some "skin care systems" because they require about 6 steps day AND night and that's about ... well, I didn't go to math school but that's way too many steps for me to commit to. Sort of like most of my relationships. ANYWAY.

My regular regime is: wash face when I am in the shower. Apply moisturizer if I remember. The end.

Also I don't like heavily perfumed face stuff. It's yuck and gets all in my nose and my sinuses swell up and I can't breathe and some day this will probably cause my death. In fact, if I'm found un-living on my bathroom floor with a pot of skin cream in my hand, please make sure my family knows to sue the shit out of whatever company that is.
And those thick, greasy "nighttime" moisturizers? 9 of 10 times I hate those -- they're supposedly "so rich and thick" that your skin will look amazingly dewy and glowy.
Right. The glow is the amount of oil sitting there in that thick mess on top of my skin.
Remember that night cream your grandma used? That "glowed" with so much oil that it looked like she'd stuck her face in a bowl of Wesson Oil.
Or maybe that's what she did. ANYWAY.

The point is, I love trying new products even if I end up not liking them in the long run.
PRINCESS. FROG. KISSING.
Thanks to Klout Perks  and Eclos, I'm taking the #EclosGoBare  DARE TO GO BARE challenge - they sent me a sample kit and challenged me to take a bare-face BEFORE picture and after using the product for two weeks, a bare-faced AFTER picture. Here's what I got:

Skin Prep Cleanser

Moisture Therapy Regenerative Cream

Daily HydraPrimer SPF 30

***OH YEAH - DISCLAIMER THINGY:  I was given a free sample of this product because I am a KLOUT influencer (damn right I am), but I'm under NO OBLIGATION and no one is torturing me with thumbscrews or bamboo spears or even a passive/aggressive tweet to make me talk about the product or use it or even open the box in the first place. Clear? Excellent.***

I'm not super-fond of having my picture taken. I don't do "selfies" (also could there be a more ridiculous word? Well, maybe "irregardless. That one's pretty ridiculous and also redundant. ANYWAY.), so no making fun of me. At least where I can hear it. Or read it.

I took an EXTREME CLOSE UP no makeup picture showing just my problem areas because you don't need to see a whole faceful of that - dull skin with freckles and a ruddy tone. Lots of crow's feet from lots of sarcastic laughter. Horribly, deeply lined forehead. Puffy eyes.
I realize this post means I will NEVER DATE AGAIN.
ANYWAY.
Before:

(OMG WHEN DID THAT BUMP ON MY NOSE GROW? I don't remember it being that enormous!)

The wash was nice, not super-foamy, but felt good and my face felt clean afterward. The scent was fresh, basically just a light whiff of lemon
The day/night moisturizer was very thick - which scared me for a minute - but not oily and it absorbed well into my skin without feeling heavy or greasy. Also very lightly scented with lemon, not at all offensive to my nose.
The third and final step - a skin toner/moisturizer/anti-aging primer...well, I'm reserving judgment on that. I've only used it once and I don't care for tinted face creams. I feel like the tint will Oompa Loompa me. Also it's a bit of a weird texture and I can FEEL it on my face - I mean, my face feels it sitting there. Although in fairness I should say that when I touch my face, it does feel nice and soft and smoother.

ECLOS products are made with apple stem cells and are reported to be "anti-aging". Well I'm no Ponce de Leon but we'll see how youthful I look after 2 weeks.
Wanna see more (and hopefully less pretty)(shut it, allow me my petty vanities) "Dare To Go Bare" Eclos challenges?
Follow: #EclosGoBare on twitter and instagram

Wish me luck! And pray that I don't turn out to be horribly allergic to some apple-y ingredient and get all swole up and rashy and itchy and hivey and such. And if I DO...then pray it's not permanent.
But so far, so good.

STOP LOOKING AT MY EYES, my boobs are DOWN HERE

And lookin' pretty spiffy, if you ask me.

Those of you who REALLY know me, know how much I hate shopping. The only time I get even the smallest enjoyment is around Christmas time, and even then I do it begrudgingly because THERE ARE LOTS AND LOTS OF CROWDS AND PEOPLE REALLY REALLY ANNOY THE CRAP OUT OF ME.
Ahem. But that's not what I want to talk about right now.

I especially hate shopping for myself -- which is why I am currently wearing my House Of Blues t-shirt that I got in New Orleans in 2000.
It has a lot some holes.
And okay, so MAYBE you could read a book through it.
BUT ONLY IF THE INK on the pages was really dark.

And so maybe I'm wearing Frankenbra because the wires keep breaking on my favorite bras and I end up with ONE good bra from two half-broken ones - and I am too lazy WAY TOO BUSY to go shop for a new bra.

ANYWAY.
When you get to be almost 42 (which I will be in only THIRTEEN SHORT DAYS), and your breasteses happen to be au naturel (as mine are - no silicone, saline, or even silly putty), then some women (me) start to worry about ... saggage.

THAT'S RIGHT I SAID SAGGAGE.

Luckily I was given the opportunity by a great company, N-Fini Shape to try out some shapewear.

My usual body shape is sort of...circular. So I was hoping this would squeeze in where I need to be squeezed and smooth where I needed some smoothin'.

I expected this to be uncomfortable -- I've tried "shapewear" before from other makers and it's been uncomfortable and girdle-like and the edges roll up whenever you sit down and UGH.

I can honestly say that N-Fini's Double V-Neck Bralet is VERY comfortable.
I fell asleep in it one night and had no sore spots in the morning from bands or straps cutting into my fat flesh overnight.
It's very smooth, very stretchy, and just firm enough to be supportive.
My favoritest favorite thing about it is that I do not spend all day hauling the freaking shoulder straps up.
SHOULDER STRAPS ARE THE BANE OF MY BRAEXISTENCE.

I got the bralet in nude and while it doesn't have the LIFT I want (clearly I likes me underwires and this particular one doesn't have them), it does keep all the moving parts from being jiggly. It also creates a nice smooth line under my closest fitting tank tops.

THEY ACTUALLY MAKE THIS WITH UNDERWIRE - and I am so pleased with the bralet I have that I am willing to pay actual good money for one with an underwire.

I KNOW. I'm almost as shocked as you are.
Also? PLUS SIZES.

They've also got tank tops, undies, shorts, capris -- all manner of things to help you look smoother and shaplier.

And at my age, it ain't gettin' any easier.

P.S. Also buying me presents will help ease the pain of aging. Is all I'm saying.

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**DISCLAIMER: To be CLEAR and TRANSPARENT and ALL THAT OTHER CRAP: I was given a sample product by N-Fini to review but I am receiving NO OTHER COMPENSATION whatsoever.
For really-o.