Tuesday, April 06, 2010

STOP LOOKING AT MY EYES, my boobs are DOWN HERE


And lookin' pretty spiffy, if you ask me.

Those of you who REALLY know me, know how much I hate shopping. The only time I get even the smallest enjoyment is around Christmas time, and even then I do it begrudgingly because THERE ARE LOTS AND LOTS OF CROWDS AND PEOPLE REALLY REALLY ANNOY THE CRAP OUT OF ME.
Ahem. But that's not what I want to talk about right now.

I especially hate shopping for myself -- which is why I am currently wearing my House Of Blues t-shirt that I got in New Orleans in 2000.
It has a lot some holes.
And okay, so MAYBE you could read a book through it.
BUT ONLY IF THE INK on the pages was really dark.

And so maybe I'm wearing Frankenbra because the wires keep breaking on my favorite bras and I end up with ONE good bra from two half-broken ones - and I am too lazy WAY TOO BUSY to go shop for a new bra.

ANYWAY.
When you get to be almost 42 (which I will be in only THIRTEEN SHORT DAYS), and your breasteses happen to be au naturel (as mine are - no silicone, saline, or even silly putty), then some women (me) start to worry about ... saggage.

THAT'S RIGHT I SAID SAGGAGE.

Luckily I was given the opportunity by a great company, N-Fini Shape to try out some shapewear.

My usual body shape is sort of...circular. So I was hoping this would squeeze in where I need to be squeezed and smooth where I needed some smoothin'.

I expected this to be uncomfortable -- I've tried "shapewear" before from other makers and it's been uncomfortable and girdle-like and the edges roll up whenever you sit down and UGH.

I can honestly say that N-Fini's Double V-Neck Bralet is VERY comfortable.
I fell asleep in it one night and had no sore spots in the morning from bands or straps cutting into my fat flesh overnight.
It's very smooth, very stretchy, and just firm enough to be supportive.
My favoritest favorite thing about it is that I do not spend all day hauling the freaking shoulder straps up.
SHOULDER STRAPS ARE THE BANE OF MY BRAEXISTENCE.

I got the bralet in nude and while it doesn't have the LIFT I want (clearly I likes me underwires and this particular one doesn't have them), it does keep all the moving parts from being jiggly. It also creates a nice smooth line under my closest fitting tank tops.

THEY ACTUALLY MAKE THIS WITH UNDERWIRE - and I am so pleased with the bralet I have that I am willing to pay actual good money for one with an underwire.

I KNOW. I'm almost as shocked as you are.
Also? PLUS SIZES.

They've also got tank tops, undies, shorts, capris -- all manner of things to help you look smoother and shaplier.

And at my age, it ain't gettin' any easier.

P.S. Also buying me presents will help ease the pain of aging. Is all I'm saying.




**DISCLAIMER: To be CLEAR and TRANSPARENT and ALL THAT OTHER CRAP: I was given a sample product by N-Fini to review but I am receiving NO OTHER COMPENSATION whatsoever.
For really-o.
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