41 yr. young single mom. 14-year-old twins, boy & girl. My son is disabled. My life is often
amusing / frustrating / ridiculous. I'm fairly neurotic, frequently depressed, often anxious. Come
and experience my unqualified mediocrity.
My Personal Philosophy: Take life with a grain of salt, a dash of pepper, and a shot of tequila.
It seems like Blogher ’09 was just yesterday, but I can’t believe that we are all making plans for BlogHer 2010 already! Last year was the best – the sessions were informative, the networking was great, the parties were fun, but the best part was that my fiends (no, that is not a typo), @jamimiami, @fabgirl & @pprlisa, came along for the ride. Of course, they laid in bed, shopped, ate and drank while SOME of us were learning, but it was great to hang out with them at night at the parties.
We met and re-met so many great people and had so much fun at the parties – but no reminiscing of BlogHer 2009 can be complete without mention of Karl Erikson’s karaoke version of “You Can Leave Your Hat on” with back up from @jennyonthespot (Who we call Vanilla Ice for her later performance). For some of us *koff@pprlisakoff*, it was the highlight of the entire weekend.
Besides my quick recap of last year’s event, I kept meaning to do some reviews of the awesome products I got at the Expo, because it has to be THE best expo of any conference I have ever attended. But since I am busy (READ: lazy), I never got around to it. Which, really, is pretty much the story of my life.
So in the interest of MAKING THINGS PERFECTLY CLEAR...
Some upcoming posts will highlight my experience with the products I liked best from the BlogHer 2009 expo and NO ONE IS COMPENSATING ME IN ANY WAY FOR ANYTHING. It is simply a blatant (AND! TRANSPARENT! BECAUSE I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ALL LOVE THAT WORD!) attempt to draw attention to myself so that maybe some company will be all HEY WEAR MY T-SHIRT AND I WILL BUY YOUR PLANE TICKET TO BLOGHER '10! and I will be all OKAY! DEAL! HOW ABOUT SOME FAKE TATS TO HAND OUT BECAUSE COOL! and then they can be all GREAT IDEA! I LOVE IT! YOU'RE THE BEST! I'LL PAY FOR YOUR HOTEL ROOM TOO!
Shut up, it could happen. P.S. Parts of this post may or may not have been ghost written because I am JUST THAT BUSY AND IMPORTANT, y'all.
I will never understand why people get all smug, self-righteous, supercilious, smirky, and a bunch of other S words over online dating services.
"OH, I would NEVER use eHarmony/match.com/yahoo personals to find a date! It's just too ickytackygross for WORDS!" "Really? Too bad. So, how did you meet your spouse?" "We met on Facebook/Twitter/adult chat room/playing World of Warcraft."
Here's a clue, Sherlock: Online dating is online dating, no matter whether you use an "introduction" service like eharmony/match.com or not. You can try to pretty it up and rationalize all you want, but the end result is the same.
I attended my first ever BlogHer conference two years ago, and I was honored to speak on a panel there. I can only hope that someone who may have needed to hear what I had to say managed to find some comfort, some benefit.
Then last year, due to the beautiful and fabulous women of Blogher who managed to find a task for me, AND the extremely generous hearts of some BFFs, I was lucky enough to be able to attend again last year.
THIS summer I'm hoping to attend BlogHer '10. Also? It'll be my first time ever in New York City!
So they're holding a 5th Anniversary BlogHer Contest for free passes to the conference... perhaps they'll draw my name. Or perhaps they'll assign me a task, because I am always willing to WORK FOR FOOD OR BLOGHER.
I'm choosing to "Define BlogHer In Five Words".
I'm also choosing only "L" words. Laughter: I laughed until I cried (and nearly peed my pants) more times than I can count - sometimes in sessions, sometimes with just-met friends, sometimes with long-time friends. It was healing, it was beautiful, it was fantastic.
Learning: With so many brilliant and accomplished women surrounding me, how could I NOT learn something? I didn't even have to try, I only had to listen to their stories.
Longevity: BlogHer will be around much longer than I am - it has grown larger and more wonderful, more inclusive, every year. Also? Many of the deepest friendships I have were grown from BlogHer seeds.
Life Support: Finding women who really do understand where I've been, what I've lived... it's priceless. Being able to turn to these people and ask for help, ask for a shoulder, ask for a hug... I've been propped up in so many ways by what I've read and heard and experienced from these amazing BlogHer women (and BlogHims, too!)
Liquor Lush Lucid
OH YEAH... Love: I got it, I gave it, I was enveloped in it. Thanks, BlogHer.
What I said: "It's great that you're so...passionate...about that." What I meant: "Seriously you just rambled and raved like a drunken sailor coming off a 21 day binge."
What I said: "Nice!" What I meant: "I have no idea what you said, I tuned you out 10 minutes ago because I was I was about to pass out from sheer boredom."
What I said: "That sucks for you!" What I meant: "Sucks to be you. Heh."
What I said: "Sounds interesting!" What I meant: "MUST.KEEP.EYES.FROM.ROLLING."
What I said: "No, of course I didn't mean YOU." What I meant: "OF COURSE I MEANT YOU, DOUCHEBAG."
What I said: "I hate people." What I meant: "I hate people."
DAMMIT. I haven't gotten on ANY Mom Central blog tours in a looooong time.
Remember when I used to have LOTS of stuff to review? Good times.
I guess I have to blog so they will LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!!!!
Dear ANY COMPANY WHO WANTS SOME ADVERTISEMENT:
Please sponsor me for BLOGHER this year... because I'm really really really really tired of all the same old "Popular" crowd getting all the goods (yeah MAYTAG I'm lookin' at YOU). I need $$ to get me to BlogHer (NEW YORK CITY, BABY! I've never been there!)and in return I will add you to my business cards, wear your clothing, give out bumper stickers or luggage tags or lapel pins (or Mini-B.O.B.s! WOO) with both our names or logos or websites.
He's the pioneer of the podiobook, he's an engaging author, he's incredibly generous with his time, his knowledge, and his very self. I'm speaking of Tee Morris.
He was a guest on my radio show. He has made promos for so many podcasters. He's given so much to the podcasting community.
Unfortunately, sadly, I found out today that Tee suddenly lost his wife, Natalie. My heart goes out to him and his young daughter, who he calls Sonic Boom.
Please READ THIS POST by Tee's dear friend Philippa and do whatever you can to help. We podcasters need to take care of our own.
Dear Tee, I'm so very sorry. I wish I could do more to help.
It's 2010. (well, in Australia. We still have a few more hours of CrapFest '09 left here in the You Ess of Ayyyyyyyyy)
Hip hip hooray.
My New Year SUGGESTIONS:
1. I am going to be way less tolerant of bullshit.
2. Yeah, that's it. That's all I've got. UPDATE:
I am adding two suggestions that I have stolen from Finn and Domestic Spaz:
3. "My resolution? To change. Something. Doesn't have to be a positive change, just a change. Maybe my underwear." (see, now THAT I can do. Or I could if I wore underwear)
4. "My resolution is to drink more and clean less." (THAT is what I'm talkin' about, sister! Real change, reachable goals. KUDOS) Really, who says resolutions have to be about a bunch of improvement crap? Because let's face it, I'm 41 years old and it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that I am going to change after all this time. I'd much rather be reasonable and create attainable goals. I do not WANT to be all perky and trilly and full of "positivity" (which, BY THE WAY, is a really stupid word) all the time. IT ISN'T NATURAL. Some of us were put on the earth to balance out you weirdo freaks. Like me. So, you know, fuck off and stuff. Truthfully 2009 was a fairly well-balanced year for me... a LOT of bad (and by "bad" I mean HIGHLY INCONVENIENT and sometimes PAINFUL and BULLSHITTY) stuff happened in 2009... my dryer went out and my car gave up the ghost and for awhile it was one drama after another...
But that yin was yanged by TRUE FRIENDS who were not only emotionally supportive (and enabling, THANK GOD! because I need to be enabled), they put their little pointed heads together and helped me get a new dryer and new car and new-to-me furniture and a million other little things. They helped me get to BlogHer and I got to spend a weekend with four of my very best people in the world. Two of my very best people came across the country AND INTERNATIONALLY to spend the weekend AT MY HOUSE.
So I guess 2009 wasn't a total disaster. It had many moments of true greatness. 2010 has a lot to live up to. I was going to do one of those self-serving, narcissistic "My Favorite Posts Of 2009" but really none of them were that great AND the last 4 or 5 months I've hardly blogged at ALL except for product reviews.
So instead, I will post one of those self-serving, narcissistic "My Favorite Tweets Of 2009" lists, but FYI these are not just MY favorites, they are Other People's Favorites too. You can also find them (and a lot more) HERE and HERE.
YOU. ARE. WELCOME.
My Favorite Favorited Tweets of 2009:
Being a REAL "Power Mom" has zero to do with the internet. Or marketing. Or monetizing. Or being legendary in your own mind.
I am offering large cups of Shut The Fuck Up with free unlimited refills.
I tried to love my neighbor as I love myself but he really didn't like The Rabbit.
Bring chips and chocolate when visiting a woman with PMS or menopause. The life you save may be your own.
I wish tears tasted like chocolate so that at least I could ENJOY the incessant peri-menopausal crying.
I think I've gone from a 36C to a 36Long.
One person's hero is another person's douchebag.
And from the #fakeinspirationalcrap series...
"I try to always focus on the positive; like, You're positively a douchebag." #fakeinspirationalcrap
"To allow love to blossom is to invite someone to pick it, stick it in a jar, and watch it die." #fakeinspirationalcrap
"Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's also likely to get you stabbed in the head." #fakeinspirationalcrap
"It's okay to be a failure, as long as nobody sees it." #fakeinspirationalcrap That is all. Have a Day Year.
NEW YORK! NEW YORK!
It seems like Blogher ’09 was just yesterday, but I can’t believe that we are all making plans for BlogHer 2010 already! Last year was the best – the sessions were informative, the networking was great, the parties were fun, but the best part was that my fiends (no, that is not a typo), @jamimiami, @fabgirl & @pprlisa, came along for the ride. Of course, they laid in bed, shopped, ate and drank while SOME of us were learning, but it was great to hang out with them at night at the parties.We met and re-met so many great people and had so much fun at the parties – but no reminiscing of BlogHer 2009 can be complete without mention of Karl Erikson’s karaoke version of “You Can Leave Your Hat on” with back up from @jennyonthespot (Who we call Vanilla Ice for her later performance). For some of us *koff@pprlisakoff*, it was the highlight of the entire weekend.
Besides my quick recap of last year’s event, I kept meaning to do some reviews of the awesome products I got at the Expo, because it has to be THE best expo of any conference I have ever attended. But since I am busy (READ: lazy), I never got around to it. Which, really, is pretty much the story of my life.
So in the interest of MAKING THINGS PERFECTLY CLEAR...
Some upcoming posts will highlight my experience with the products I liked best from the BlogHer 2009 expo and NO ONE IS COMPENSATING ME IN ANY WAY FOR ANYTHING. It is simply a blatant (AND! TRANSPARENT! BECAUSE I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ALL LOVE THAT WORD!) attempt to draw attention to myself so that maybe some company will be all HEY WEAR MY T-SHIRT AND I WILL BUY YOUR PLANE TICKET TO BLOGHER '10! and I will be all OKAY! DEAL! HOW ABOUT SOME FAKE TATS TO HAND OUT BECAUSE COOL! and then they can be all GREAT IDEA! I LOVE IT! YOU'RE THE BEST! I'LL PAY FOR YOUR HOTEL ROOM TOO!
Shut up, it could happen.
P.S. Parts of this post may or may not have been ghost written because I am JUST THAT BUSY AND IMPORTANT, y'all.
Labels: BlogHer, flotsam, life, stuff I like
Posted by aka_Monty @ 7:22 AM
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Why I Hate People #87458
I will never understand why people get all smug, self-righteous, supercilious, smirky, and a bunch of other S words over online dating services."OH, I would NEVER use eHarmony/match.com/yahoo personals to find a date! It's just too ickytackygross for WORDS!"
"Really? Too bad. So, how did you meet your spouse?"
"We met on Facebook/Twitter/adult chat room/playing World of Warcraft."
Here's a clue, Sherlock: Online dating is online dating, no matter whether you use an "introduction" service like eharmony/match.com or not. You can try to pretty it up and rationalize all you want, but the end result is the same.
Srsly.
Labels: anger management, people suck, things that piss me off
Posted by aka_Monty @ 1:28 PM
Monday, February 01, 2010
The "L" Word(s) (#BlogHer5)
I attended my first ever BlogHer conference two years ago, and I was honored to speak on a panel there. I can only hope that someone who may have needed to hear what I had to say managed to find some comfort, some benefit.It was one of the best weekends of my life, on so many levels.
Also? First time ever in San Francisco!
Then last year, due to the beautiful and fabulous women of Blogher who managed to find a task for me, AND the extremely generous hearts of some BFFs, I was lucky enough to be able to attend again last year.
ANOTHER best weekend of my whole life.
Also? First time ever in Chicago!
THIS summer I'm hoping to attend BlogHer '10.
Also? It'll be my first time ever in New York City!
So they're holding a 5th Anniversary BlogHer Contest for free passes to the conference... perhaps they'll draw my name. Or perhaps they'll assign me a task, because I am always willing to WORK FOR FOOD OR BLOGHER.
I'm choosing to "Define BlogHer In Five Words".
I'm also choosing only "L" words.
Laughter: I laughed until I cried (and nearly peed my pants) more times than I can count - sometimes in sessions, sometimes with just-met friends, sometimes with long-time friends. It was healing, it was beautiful, it was fantastic.
Learning: With so many brilliant and accomplished women surrounding me, how could I NOT learn something? I didn't even have to try, I only had to listen to their stories.
Longevity: BlogHer will be around much longer than I am - it has grown larger and more wonderful, more inclusive, every year. Also? Many of the deepest friendships I have were grown from BlogHer seeds.
Life Support: Finding women who really do understand where I've been, what I've lived... it's priceless. Being able to turn to these people and ask for help, ask for a shoulder, ask for a hug... I've been propped up in so many ways by what I've read and heard and experienced from these amazing BlogHer women (and BlogHims, too!)
LiquorLushLucidOH YEAH...
Love: I got it, I gave it, I was enveloped in it.
Thanks, BlogHer.
Labels: BlogHer, contests, NYC
Posted by aka_Monty @ 7:53 PM
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Reading Between The Lines ...
A companion guide to Lost In Translation.What I said: "It's great that you're so...passionate...about that."
What I meant: "Seriously you just rambled and raved like a drunken sailor coming off a 21 day binge."
What I said: "Nice!"
What I meant: "I have no idea what you said, I tuned you out 10 minutes ago because I was I was about to pass out from sheer boredom."
What I said: "That sucks for you!"
What I meant: "Sucks to be you. Heh."
What I said: "Sounds interesting!"
What I meant: "MUST.KEEP.EYES.FROM.ROLLING."
What I said: "No, of course I didn't mean YOU."
What I meant: "OF COURSE I MEANT YOU, DOUCHEBAG."
What I said: "I hate people."
What I meant: "I hate people."
Labels: funny thoughts, i am a bitch, stuff that makes me laugh
Posted by aka_Monty @ 9:36 AM
Monday, January 18, 2010
DAMMIT.I haven't gotten on ANY Mom Central blog tours in a looooong time.
Remember when I used to have LOTS of stuff to review?
Good times.
I guess I have to blog so they will LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!!!!
Dear ANY COMPANY WHO WANTS SOME ADVERTISEMENT:
Please sponsor me for BLOGHER this year... because I'm really really really really tired of all the same old "Popular" crowd getting all the goods (yeah MAYTAG I'm lookin' at YOU).
I need $$ to get me to BlogHer (NEW YORK CITY, BABY! I've never been there!)and in return I will add you to my business cards, wear your clothing, give out bumper stickers or luggage tags or lapel pins (or Mini-B.O.B.s! WOO) with both our names or logos or websites.
COME ON. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
Labels: BlogHer, life, open letters, sponsors, stuff that makes me laugh
Posted by aka_Monty @ 12:45 PM
Thursday, January 07, 2010
A mournful day.
There's this guy I know... we met on Twitter.com.He's the pioneer of the podiobook, he's an engaging author, he's incredibly generous with his time, his knowledge, and his very self.
I'm speaking of Tee Morris.
He was a guest on my radio show. He has made promos for so many podcasters. He's given so much to the podcasting community.
Unfortunately, sadly, I found out today that Tee suddenly lost his wife, Natalie. My heart goes out to him and his young daughter, who he calls Sonic Boom.
Please READ THIS POST by Tee's dear friend Philippa and do whatever you can to help.
We podcasters need to take care of our own.
Dear Tee, I'm so very sorry. I wish I could do more to help.
Labels: death, life, stuff that sucks
Posted by aka_Monty @ 4:57 PM
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year or Whatever.
It's 2010. (well, in Australia. We still have a few more hours of CrapFest '09 left here in the You Ess of Ayyyyyyyyy)Hip hip hooray.
My New Year SUGGESTIONS:
1. I am going to be way less tolerant of bullshit.
2. Yeah, that's it. That's all I've got.
UPDATE:
I am adding two suggestions that I have stolen from Finn and Domestic Spaz:
3. "My resolution? To change. Something. Doesn't have to be a positive change, just a change. Maybe my underwear." (see, now THAT I can do. Or I could if I wore underwear)
4. "My resolution is to drink more and clean less." (THAT is what I'm talkin' about, sister! Real change, reachable goals. KUDOS)
Really, who says resolutions have to be about a bunch of improvement crap?
Because let's face it, I'm 41 years old and it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that I am going to change after all this time.
I'd much rather be reasonable and create attainable goals.
I do not WANT to be all perky and trilly and full of "positivity" (which, BY THE WAY, is a really stupid word) all the time. IT ISN'T NATURAL.
Some of us were put on the earth to balance out you weirdo freaks.
Like me.
So, you know, fuck off and stuff.
Truthfully 2009 was a fairly well-balanced year for me... a LOT of bad (and by "bad" I mean HIGHLY INCONVENIENT and sometimes PAINFUL and BULLSHITTY) stuff happened in 2009... my dryer went out and my car gave up the ghost and for awhile it was one drama after another...
But that yin was yanged by TRUE FRIENDS who were not only emotionally supportive (and enabling, THANK GOD! because I need to be enabled), they put their little pointed heads together and helped me get a new dryer and new car and new-to-me furniture and a million other little things.
They helped me get to BlogHer and I got to spend a weekend with four of my very best people in the world.
Two of my very best people came across the country AND INTERNATIONALLY to spend the weekend AT MY HOUSE.
So I guess 2009 wasn't a total disaster. It had many moments of true greatness.
2010 has a lot to live up to.
I was going to do one of those self-serving, narcissistic "My Favorite Posts Of 2009" but really none of them were that great AND the last 4 or 5 months I've hardly blogged at ALL except for product reviews.
So instead, I will post one of those self-serving, narcissistic "My Favorite Tweets Of 2009" lists, but FYI these are not just MY favorites, they are Other People's Favorites too.
You can also find them (and a lot more) HERE and HERE.
YOU. ARE. WELCOME.
My Favorite Favorited Tweets of 2009:
Being a REAL "Power Mom" has zero to do with the internet. Or marketing. Or monetizing. Or being legendary in your own mind.
I am offering large cups of Shut The Fuck Up with free unlimited refills.
I tried to love my neighbor as I love myself but he really didn't like The Rabbit.
Bring chips and chocolate when visiting a woman with PMS or menopause. The life you save may be your own.
I wish tears tasted like chocolate so that at least I could ENJOY the incessant peri-menopausal crying.
I think I've gone from a 36C to a 36Long.
One person's hero is another person's douchebag.
And from the #fakeinspirationalcrap series...
"I try to always focus on the positive; like, You're positively a douchebag." #fakeinspirationalcrap
"To allow love to blossom is to invite someone to pick it, stick it in a jar, and watch it die." #fakeinspirationalcrap
"Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's also likely to get you stabbed in the head." #fakeinspirationalcrap
"It's okay to be a failure, as long as nobody sees it." #fakeinspirationalcrap
That is all.
Have a
DayYear.Labels: flotsam, Happy New Year, life
Posted by aka_Monty @ 1:00 PM