Brain Soup, extra chunky style
I am hanging by a thread and my hands have started to sweat.
I hate that I have slid so far without being able to catch myself.
I discovered that I have many false expectations, and I can't decide if I should raise or lower them.
I am shadowed and overshadowed.
Shadowed is a weird word after you say it a few times.
People who ride around on their High Horses make me want to skewer them with jousting poles. It would be like making asshat-kabobs.
My hair is becoming naturally frosted.
Sometimes I feel as though I am mute, and I like it.
I hate being lectured.
A half-ounce of understanding is a lot more valuable than a pound of critique.
Critique and plastique are both highly explosive and extremely destructive with the right trigger. I don't think that's a coincidence. Plus they rhyme. I don't think that's a coincidence either.
Sometimes you just need a hug with no strings or words attached.
Trust is a 5-letter-word, like bitch or prick.
I don't understand not understanding loyalty.
Sometimes "it's not you, it's me" is really true.
Sometimes it's really you and NOT me.
Leave me alone.
Don't go.
Labels: crazy shit, stuff that sucks, why I hate people
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Both sides of the coin
Sometimes it's easier being a single parent because...You don't have to consult with anyone about appropriate punishment
You don't have to make sure you're "on the same page" with anyone
You get to decide how long the grounding lasts
You get to make all the rules
You get to be the boss of everyone.
Sometimes it's harder being a single parent because...
You don't have anyone to consult with about appropriate punishment
You don't have anyone to make sure you're "on the same page"
You have to decide how long the grounding lasts
You have to make all the rules
You have to be the boss of everyone.
Labels: kids, single parenting, stuff I like, stuff that sucks
Posted by aka_Monty @ 1:28 PM
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Re Evaluating
Yesterday was the dreaded IEP meeting for my son - actually, mine are pretty okay. He's in the multiple-disability class you know, so it's always pretty much the same. The goals are simple: matching words to objects, putting blocks in a bucket, tolerating the stander for 45 minutes at a time, choosing the letters of his name and stamping his name on paper. Really the only thing that ever changes is the percentage of times he's expected to get the task correct.Basically we read through all the extremely wordy, repetitious, and double-speaky government-drone-written paperwork (and OMG I feel for the teachers who have to read it to me - and it is required that they read it aloud). No big dealio.
I mean he is what he is - he's cute and often funny and generally filled with laughter...and typically teen with outbursts of temper and fighting me when I try to get him up in the morning and just being generally difficult. I don't usually think about his disabilities - it's just like background noise and I don't notice. We have our routines and you do what you gotta do. He's my boy, I'm his mom, and that is that.
But sometimes it sneaks up on me - the momentary sadness that swamps every cell when we go over the results of the latest Callier-Azusa Scale test, and once again all areas measure in the 4-9 month old range.
He's 16 now so I think THIS YEAR it's not going to bother me - and then I see it and I feel my face turn red and my eyes fill with tears and I stare at the paper and nod so the teacher won't see me try not to cry. I'm sad because I know that it's never going to be any better. I'm not going to suddenly see a miraculous range of 1-2 years old, even.
And then I think of a funny story to say about something he's done and everyone laughs and the PE teacher pats my hand and tells me she loves my IEPs and looks forward to them every year and then the sad moment passes and everything is okay.
And I have a whole year to work on forgetting about it before we have to do it all again.
Labels: kids, less shallow thoughts, single parenting, stuff that sucks
Posted by aka_Monty @ 6:21 PM
Thursday, September 29, 2011
WHAT. EVER.
Dear ONG,WE ARE NOT FALLING FOR YOUR PROPAGANDA! Oh sure, you've got Mother Nature all "ooooh switch to gas and get this GINORMOUS REBATE check! ooooh!" but what you don't say is "OOH YOU BETTER SAVE THAT REBATE CHECK FOR WHEN WE HIKE THE RATES AND RAM IT UP YOUR ASS THIS WINTER WITH NO LUBE TO THE TUNE OF $200-$300 EACH MONTH FROM DECEMBER TO MARCH!"
Yeah. Now THAT would be full disclosure.
Have a nice day. And also SUCK IT ONG.
Sincerely,
A much abused customer who only uses your services because she has no other options
Labels: craptastic, open letters, stuff I don't get, stuff I hate
Posted by aka_Monty @ 3:49 PM
Thursday, June 16, 2011
A codicil
Okay, so if you've been hanging around this joint for the last few years, you've probably read about my final wishes once I've shuffled off this mortal coil.And I'm not even joking you.
HOWEVER.
Late one night I had a ...if I do say so myself...BRILLIANT IDEA.
Also it made me laugh a lot because it is sort of sick and twisted and totally Me.
Maybe a little gross too.
I have decided to be cremated - seriously, who wants to take up space and have groundwater (possibly SEWER WATER EW) seepage and rats trying to chew in to eat your face?
NOT ME.
So cremation.
And a memorial service at which My Final Wishes are strictly followed -- with an added...bonus.
I am going to get keychains with little urns (or GENIE LAMPS! YES!) attached to them, and EVERYONE GETS A SCOOP OF ME TO TAKE HOME.
Like a party favor.
No, you have to take me. It's the rule.
Also I am hoping (FINGERS CROSSED!!) that this makes haunting easier.
Because I'm totes hoping that God and I can come to some agreement on that.
Yeah.
Putting the Fun into Funeral.
The recessional music will be Paul Young singing:
Every time you go away
You take a piece of me with you
You'll be there, right?
Labels: creepy stuff, funny thoughts, happy fun time, stuff that makes me laugh
Posted by aka_Monty @ 8:16 PM
Friday, May 20, 2011
me thinks.
It's funny how sometimes a person can often hurt your feelings (unintentionally,I hopeI'm sure) with careless words, thoughtlessness or just plain old forgetfulness...but you don't say anything about it because you don't want THEM to feel bad.I get way more than I give.
Sorry about that.
There's no business like ho business.
Someone should write a song about that.
The commercial that says "Switch to Cox" makes me laugh and wonder if it's a subliminal PSA for lesbians.
I hate it when someone does a nice thing for you and then makes you feel obligated FOREVER. It's like indentured ass-kissitude.
You ever feel like your brain is a TV only someone else has the remote and won't stop channel surfing? Or looking for free porn?
Oh wait, that last thing is something else entirely. Whoops.
Labels: flotsam, stuff that makes me laugh, stuff that sucks
Posted by aka_Monty @ 5:44 PM
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Single Mother's Day - a guest post
Every once in awhile, someone will request a little space for a guest post - sometimes they want a different readership from their "regulars", or anonymity, or (and this I find unbelievable) they are actually BLOGLESS.Heaven forfend!
Of course this space is always available to those people as long as they're willing to dust the cobwebs from the corners first and clean up any debris or destruction if they post something controversial - with the caveat that I will most likely correct any misspellings or glaringly obvious grammatical and punctuation errors.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
I don't notice my own typos, but I sure can see the ones other people make.
Sorry.
Anyway.
On Mother's Day, I gave a passing thought to the single moms like me who have no ex around to remind the kids to make mommy a card or to buy them a gift "from the kids", or even just say "tell your mom Happy Mother's Day".
Turns out one of my closest friends (and fellow member of the Single Mom's Club) was on the same wavelength, and she's sent her thoughts on the matter.
Please welcome first time guest poster, Jami (yaaaaah me) Reyes.
Show her some comment love, if you please.
Jami sez:
I saw a Facebook post the other day that got me thinking. It was a post about celebrating "military wives". Women who stay home while their husbands are shipped out for military duty. I got to thinking... how come we don't have a "single moms" day? Don't get me wrong, I respect military families and I'm thankful for their service to this country. But what about the single moms? The single moms who raise respectable young men and women who will eventually serve this country. Maybe not always in the military but definitely to society.
Why don't they get a day?
I'm not talking about the single moms who have exes in the picture... dads who are involved in their children's lives. I'm talking about the single moms who haven't seen their exes since the day the baby was born. The single moms whose husbands disappeared when things just didn't go the way they planned. The single moms who are mom and dad to their kids ALL the time and don't get two weekends off. You know those moms? The ones who wake up in the morning, make coffee, take the laundry out from the night before, make school lunches, drop kids off at school, then go to work all day, pick up their kids at daycare or afterschool, come home and make dinner, go over homework, study the spelling words, get baths ready, throw in a load of laundry, clean up the kitchen, put kids to bed and then wake up the next day to do it all over again... every day... seven days a week, 365 days a year... for life. I'm talking about the single mom who balances her life and her finances depending on one person: herself. I'm talking about the single mom who doesn't wait for her child support check every month because there isn't one. The single mom who wakes up in the middle of the night wondering how she's going to make ends meet this month, or if college is in the kids' future because there isn't enough money to put into that savings account, or how she really wishes she could go on the "girl's trip to Vegas" but she doesn't have anyone to leave the kids with or the money to spend.
Next time you think of how hard it is because your ex is late picking up the kids, think of the single mom whose ex just never bothered showing up one day... seven years ago.
**Holla at me if you want to guest post
Labels: friends, Guest Post, holidays, moms, single parenting
Posted by aka_Monty @ 2:14 PM