Sunday, December 14, 2014

Hey, Macklemore! Can we go thrift shopping? What what what what?

I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got 20 dollars in my pocket...

So around here we have the Uptown Thrift Store.
I love to shop there on a Sunday, because Sunday is Green Bag day.
What it is, you purchase a reusable green bag for about a dollar, as many of them as you want (I have two). Then on Sunday, you take your green bags in, and they'll have a color posted for that (which it was, last Sunday).
Whatever clothes have orange (or whatever color they've chosen) tags can go in your green bags - as much as you can cram in there. When you check out, you're charged by the bagful, which is $5.95.

Electronics and appliances and such count as one green bag (as long as you have an empty green bag).
So Becca and I were getting Joshua some tee shirts (he chews them up - YES, CHEWS - at an alarming rate), and she was checking out the electronics and sees this ginormous teevee priced at $75...with an orange tag.
And I had only filled one of my green bags.

I should mention here that Josh is extremely nearsighted, but he will not tolerate anything on his face or head. No glasses, even with straps. Not happenin'.
And he watches a lot of teevee, because, you know, wheelchair, no walking, no talking, limbs that do not work properly, etc etc. And he's been watching on a 17" flat screen, squinting a lot.

So we scored this monstrosity for FIVE DOLLARS AND NINETY-FIVE CENTS PLUS TAX.
I'm pretty sure you could see it from the moon. It weighs approximately 47,000 pounds and it took me, my dad, my brother, and a dolly to get it from the car to the house - with several bashed knuckles, pulled shoulder and back muscles, and sore arms.

But Joshua will be able to see Scooby Doo in nearly life-size form:
That is, as long as his poor dresser holds up. I'm having my doubts about that.
It looks smaller in this picture than it is in real life. Of course, a lot of you people probably have those big ol' flat screen tvs, but we're used to a smaller scale. And it's not a "flat screen"...from front to back it's about 25 inches.
Did I mention it weighs about eleventy-three tons?


Thursday, November 27, 2014

Make it Cyber ThursdayFridaySaturdaySundayMonday shopping!

*Annoying advertising because I NEED MONEY*

Support small business! (especially my family's!)
Lots of items NEW WITH TAGS! If you love the fun and intensity of auction bidding - we've got you covered! If you are impatient and want it RIGHT NOW - we've got that for you too! You can also make me a BEST OFFER!
Suits, shoes, skirts, dresses, coats, jackets, jeans, formal gowns, dress pants, sweaters, handbags, belts, and even some sweaters, shirts, and sport coats for the menfolk!

Be sure not to miss out-visit ALL THREE SITES to find the best deals. 

**Bonus: I will combine shipping across all three sites - just drop me a line to let me know you're still shopping! Shipping will be charged by total weight, according to USPS prices.
Just a taste of what you can get (at 80-90% OFF RETAIL!):


NWT $150 EST 1887 Mens Odor Control Heather Gray Crew Neck Silver Tee Shirt S

NWT BIANCA Chic Textured Topstitch ARIELLE Tailored Long Jacket Skirt Suit 8 10

CALVIN KLEIN Soft Dark Brown Suede Wedge Heel Tall Fashion SOLEDAD Boots 9 M

MICHAEL KORS Navy Pebbled Leather Logo EAST WEST FULTON Tote Bag Purse Satchel

NWT $238 SKEA Paris Vail CAFE Brown Snowboard Ski BRIGITTE Stirrup Pants 6

KORS by Michael Kors Italy Satiny Black Peacoat Chic Jacket 8

Sunday, November 09, 2014

My First ComicCon: A (mostly) Pictorial Essay

So I got home today from the Tulsa ComicCon. It was sort of a surreal experience; not only did I get to actually leave hearth and home (and children OMG YES) for the best part of 3 days, I went to this huge event ALONE.
Which, as you know, is how I typically prefer things, but most of you also know I am not really sociable on my best day and  I tend toward introversion and wall-hugging in large crowds, parties...dates. Whatever.
Let me take a quick moment to say THANK YOU to the considerable number of people it took to make this trip possible and hella fun (since it almost got sunk a couple of weeks ago when my original sitter backed out): Mom, Mary, Karly, Becca, Shawn, Cathy, and Brad.

You will be surprised to learn that I was shockingly social this weekend, including asking to sit at some stranger's table in an overcrowded cafe, talking to people with whom I stood waiting in lines, and of course actually being able to speak to my heretofore pretend boyfriend, James Marsters (some of you know him as Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer). It's totes okay to be jealous of me. I encourage that.

And do not be afraid - I will be back in normal misanthropic form as soon as my James high wears off.

The bonus part was getting to spend some (excellent in quality but sadly short in quantity) time with one of my oldest friends (agewise AND longevity-wise)(hahaha keedeeeen)(sort of).

There was one guy there who looked JUST like Hugh Jackman as Logan (Wolverine), but since he was married to Wonder Woman I decided I better not ask to get a picture.

Let me just say that this weekend was the first time I've felt the pain and regret of not having a smart phone, because (as you shall see for yourself) my crappy little phone only takes crappy little pictures, blurry and dim and horrible. Fortunately for me, I still have all the memories and they're in HD.
Unfortunately for YOU, you'll have to use considerable imagination.

So here I am on the day, getting ready to head to T-Town for my Happy Funtimes Weekend:

And of course I hooked up with my boyfriend James right away:
Sadly, it was not hooking up in the biblical sense. #HisLossToo #JustSaying

**Please forgive the utter blurriness and poor quality of the following fotografs**

ALSO: Let me just add that Norman Reedus, while I did not get a photo of or with him, seemed to be a pretty spectacular, personable guy. He went hours over and above scheduled photo-op and autograph times, often stopping to pop his head out and say HI to the people standing in various lines. I got to see him and spoke to him, and I'm almost fairly kind of sure he might have smiled and/or tipped a wink in possibly my general direction or perhaps to one of the people surrounding me...but I'm not quite 100% on that.
He appeared to make himself pretty accessible to fans and was definitely the hot ticket at this convention.
Also ALSO he was very sexy. A little dirty looking. I like that. #SupaHot #DixonsVixens
For him I would volunteer to be


Speaking of The Walking Dead, I sat in on a panel with Shane and Hershel:

They were very entertaining, and also I learned a new Waylon Jennings song that Shane/John Bernthal loves:

Also the Formerly Alive Other Dixon Brother (Merle), Michael Rooker. He sort of gave off an arrogant, bad boy vibe ( but SO FUCKING CHARMING!) - I would hit that in a red hot minute:
Someone asked how he enjoyed working with (my other pretend boyfriend) Nathan Fillion, and he said, "You should ask Nathan Fillion how HE enjoyed working with ME!" which is totes a fair point but DO NOT DIS MY BOYFRIEND NATHAN EVER EVER. #BrowncoatsForever #Shiny

I also enjoyed sitting in with Freddy Krueger - he is definitely a talker. Is it just me or is Robert Englund starting to look like Gandalf?

BIG NEWS: I SAW THE SHAT in all his Captain Kirk-y Denny Crane-ness:

He is actually just what I expected. Also? His roles are #Typecasting, for sure.

After all the Shatner goodness, I had to step outside for a breath of fresh air. It was chillier than I thought it would be (and me without my jacket!) and I soon discovered why:

Then all of a sudden, I was compelled to shout...

...and immediately was transported through a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey vortex of some sort

where I immediately encountered a very young, sweet, and handsome Harry:

Who was heard to say, "We're not friends. I don't like him and he doesn't like me. What if he sees me and calls me POTTAH?!"
At which point I noticed Draco Malfoy lurking through the crowds, looking evil and wicked and smug as always...

Actually Tom Felton was extremely nice and accessible, wandering through the lines of fans, speaking with the girls, asking them questions (and making them so giddy and giggly I actually smiled)(shut up, we will never speak of that again), just very casual and lovely and sweet.

I was thrilled to run into one of my favorite romantic couples, Daenerys and Khal Drogo:

Although to be honest I was a little worried that a typical GoT bloodbath would erupt in their wake. Luckily, I made it out alive.

I have to be honest and tell you I pussed out on Sunday, Day 3 -- many of you know I have a lot of chronic back pain and sciatica and unfortunately I was not up to the challenge. Probably I missed some of the best stuff on the last day but I DO NOT CARE BECAUSE JAMES MARSTERS.
Also as #BadMotherOfTheYear I feel it's important to note that my decision had zero to do with getting back home to the children; I could've easily stayed away several more days without a single squidge of guilt. Oh, you #PerfectMoms and #Hoverounds can shut it. I will cutchoo like...someone with a sharp cutting thing.
Plus I know for a fact that I'd've ended up spending $50 for a damn autograph (and OMG REALLY $50?? For THAT??) which we all know I'm much too cheap frugal to do and would've regretted later when I really needed to buy something, like new books. Or, you know, food.


James Marsters. During his panel I wanted to ask how it was kissing John Barrowman on those episodes of Torchwood but I was too skeert. Fortunately for me and great minds that think alike, the very last person they took a question from asked it. I can't really remember the answer because I was too busy remembering the actual scene.
Where was I?

So I got to actually meet him in the flesh, and he made such direct eye contact when he shook my hand that I'm surprised the smoke alarms didn't go off with the sudden rise in my body temperature. He hugged me and I had to make a concerted effort to keep my hand off his ass...and then he squeezed my hand as I was leaving. I'm pretty sure he's in love with me. Because what's not to love?
See how he was looking right at me? Can't you feel the sexual tension just oozing between us? I KNOW.

He was delighted to dress up as Spike for me for a little role-play fun as we spent some time together in the amazing hot tub in my hotel room:

And here he is, just waking up this morning - James, you're such a cover hog in the middle of the night!

And then...dun dun was time for me to leave. I will miss being in you, T-Town:

Now...when can I sign up for Tulsa ComicCon 2015????

Friday, October 10, 2014

My fallback career.

This is what the stationery section of all the stores would look like if I were in charge.
Maybe I could print them out and sell them on street corners.


#ShouldBeAHallmarkCard (notice mine are the best ones. Is all I'm saying.)

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Things I SHOULD Say

Just to counterbalance my last post...things I don't say often enough and shouldn't assume that you already know.
(#YIIAY Lisa)

1. I don't hate you. Mostly.

2. Your posts always make me smile with delight at your happiness.

3. It is utterly comforting to know I can ask you for anything, any time.

4. I'm glad I met you.

5. Your friendship sometimes makes me a nicer person.

6. I sincerely appreciate you and all that you do for me. In fact I like you well enough that I'd probably appreciate you if you did nothing for me ever.

7. Sometimes the laughter at your posts is what gets me through the day.

8. I truly value you and I'm happy you're in my life in some small way.

9. I hardly ever want to headstab you.

10. I do love you. For reals, yo. In a totally non-sexual way. Except maybe you and YOU doin', baby?

11. Most of these are probably about all of you.

Things I Wanted To Say

Just a fun little exercise in which I relieve the pressure of Not Engaging and point no fingers.
(#NINAY Lisa)(heehee)(I knew you would ask)

1. You haven't heard from me because sorry, I can't bear watching you make the exact same decision over and over again when it's destroying your life.

2. I question the state of your mental health.

3. You actually are an idiot in a good disguise.

4. Grow up and get over the one-upmanship. This isn't high school, that ship sailed about 30 years ago and it's very unattractive.

5. There comes a time when you have to stop dressing like you're still in your 20s. You're not actually as cute as you think you are.

6. Stop gender-neutralizing your "friends" when you talk about "them" because that's always a dead giveaway.

7. I only ... creatively answer a little bit so I wouldn't hurt your feelings, because you are important to me.

8. Your ability to turn even good things into whiny complaints has made me wash my hands of you.

9. If you're promoting the message of hate and intolerance while calling yourself a Christian, you aren't one. Period.

10. It hurts my feelings a tiny bit when you go out of your way to publically thank people...except somehow never Me. Ridiculous of me to be hurt, but nonetheless, it does.

11. None of these are about any of you.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Sweatin' it out.

Let's take a moment to talk about sweat.
I know, ew.

I've used Secret deodorant for many, many years - and recently I've discovered that it may be "Strong enough for a man", but it can't hold a candle to the stank that is menopause sweat.


If there's one thing that mightily offends my scentsors, it's the stink of  BO.
I mean, I like the smell of skin sometimes, especially a lover's special scent. But nasty pit-smell? NO THANK  YOU.

At first I thought maybe Secret had changed their formula and it was no longer Strong Enough For A Man but Made For A Woman, then I realized it was NOT made for a woman with menopause.
When I hit 45 last year, my body started betraying me overnight.
I've had chronic back troubles for years - I keep re-injuring the same places when I lift Josh in & out of the wheelchair or bathtub.
But all of a sudden my back is aching in new ways, I have a neuropathy thing that makes my feet and toes cramp and feel tingly and weird, and recently woke up one morning with what is apparently tendonitis in my wrist.

I've been having hot flashes and night sweats for three or four years now - my hormones are totes out of whack.
But the last year or so, I can get out of the shower, put on my Secret...and within 5 minutes I DO NOT SMELL GOOD anymore.

I finally googled to see if stanky menopause sweat was actually A Thing... AND IT IS.
Fortunately for some of you, it doesn't happen to everyone.
Unfortunately for me, it does happen to some.

This is not an advertisement or review for deodorant, I'm just passing on a little advice: If you're stricken with this problem, Degree Clinical Strength actually works.
Which is good so that I don't have to save up to have my sweat glands removed.

Are any of you going through this? My misery would love the company.

That is all.
Have a day.