Happy might be too much to ask, I'm aiming for Okayish New Year

The past year, well, it's been challenging, to say the least.

I lost my bio-father to covid, because he refused vaccination even after he promised he would get it and I'm still angry about that. Also his wife & my half-sister & her family have apparently decided that my kids (and I) are non-existent so fuck those guys.

Yes, clearly I'm still struggling with rage issues about the whole situation.

Holidays this year have been bizzare and have left me with some emptiness in my heart, and then the empty fills with anger and off we go again.

I AM TRYING.
Also I really really hate being forced into membership with so many of you, in the Lost Parent Club.
What sucks is that once you're in, you're in for life, which is ironic because death is what qualified you to get in.

The dark-humored joke at my house is that hey, at least I've got a spare (dad).


In the past year...
I have been diagnosed with diabetes, lipodermatasclerosis, high blood pressure, anemia, hypothyroid (unshocking because I had Grave's disease and had to take a radioactive pill to kill my thyroid), and a few other little lesser issues.
I had to have an ultrasound on my heart and my legs.
I could not walk properly, it was like my thigh muscles had forgotten how to work. I had to use a walker or at least a cane just to move around the house.

Also in the past year...
I have brought my A1C blood sugar down from 9.8 to 6.6
I have lost 98 lbs.
My blood pressure has come down from redline stroke zone to pretty near perfect.
Dumped 2 of my blood pressure meds, cut down on my iron pills.
I can get around without a walker and only need the cane if I'm doing a lot of walking, just as a balance precaution

So as you can see, it's been a very uppy-downy, twisty-turny, rough and bumpy ride, with all the screaming and nausea you'd expect from the worst roller coaster ever.

AAAND to top off the Suckfest that is 2021, my girl Betty White just died - and she only could've timed it better if it was 11:59PM tonight.
RIP, you magnificent woman.


All the self-pitying bullshit aside, I do have a plan for 2020Too.
I mean mostly it's DON'T HEADSTAB ANYONE, but baby steps, right?

Now go forth and celebrate in small, safe groups, don't drink and drive, buckle your seatbelt, wear a mask, and GET YOUR GD VACCINATION and BOOSTER.
Don't die of stupid because I will NOT forgive you.

Have a very Okayish New Year!

So long 2012, don't let the door hitchoo in the ass on your way out!

I had this whole long "How 2012 Sucked And Can Kiss My Rosy Red Ass" planned but really, who wants to hear about that?
We all had our problems with 2012. And let's face it, for most of us, it could've been a LOT worse.
So shut your whine-hole and find at least 2 awesome things that happened and write about those.

I mean srsly, I had more bad luck and trouble than usual, but also I made a couple of new (online) friends, I got a new-to-me minivan, and while my new self-employment is not a total success (YET!), at least I am managing to pay the bills and put food on the table.
SO THERE.

Now, we all know that I prefer New Year's Suggestions over "resolutions", and this year I've decided to make my suggestions much more practical, the kind I WANT to keep.

So here we go: New Year's Suggestions For 2013:

1. Eat more cookies.
2. Be more sarcastic.
3. Try to annoy more people.
4. Drink more booze.
5. Leave anonymous comments on that one girl's blog because she is JUST. SO. FAKE.
6. Ignore children, they're almost 18 and can fend for themselves. OH WAIT, I already do this one.
7. Make fun of more people to their faces.
8. Make fun of more people behind their backs.
9. Forget housework. OH WAIT, I already do this one too.
10. Watch more crime shows on TV - they're super educational.

I think I'm off to a good start, don't you?

Happy New Year or Whatever.

It's 2010. (well, in Australia. We still have a few more hours of CrapFest '09 left here in the You Ess of Ayyyyyyyyy)

Hip hip hooray.

My New Year SUGGESTIONS:

1. I am going to be way less tolerant of bullshit.

2. Yeah, that's it. That's all I've got.

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UPDATE:

I am adding two suggestions that I have stolen from Finn and Domestic Spaz:

3. "My resolution? To change. Something. Doesn't have to be a positive change, just a change. Maybe my underwear." (see, now THAT I can do. Or I could if I wore underwear)

4. "My resolution is to drink more and clean less." (THAT is what I'm talkin' about, sister! Real change, reachable goals. KUDOS)

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Really, who says resolutions have to be about a bunch of improvement crap?
Because let's face it, I'm 41 years old and it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that I am going to change after all this time.
I'd much rather be reasonable and create attainable goals.
I do not WANT to be all perky and trilly and full of "positivity" (which, BY THE WAY, is a really stupid word) all the time. IT ISN'T NATURAL.
Some of us were put on the earth to balance out you weirdo freaks.
Like me.
So, you know, fuck off and stuff.

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Truthfully 2009 was a fairly well-balanced year for me... a LOT of bad (and by "bad" I mean HIGHLY INCONVENIENT and sometimes PAINFUL and BULLSHITTY) stuff happened in 2009... my dryer went out and my car gave up the ghost and for awhile it was one drama after another...

But that yin was yanged by TRUE FRIENDS who were not only emotionally supportive (and enabling, THANK GOD! because I need to be enabled), they put their little pointed heads together and helped me get a new dryer and new car and new-to-me furniture and a million other little things.
They helped me get to BlogHer and I got to spend a weekend with four of my very best people in the world.
Two of my very best people came across the country AND INTERNATIONALLY to spend the weekend AT MY HOUSE.

So I guess 2009 wasn't a total disaster. It had many moments of true greatness.
2010 has a lot to live up to.

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I was going to do one of those self-serving, narcissistic "My Favorite Posts Of 2009" but really none of them were that great AND the last 4 or 5 months I've hardly blogged at ALL except for product reviews.

So instead, I will post one of those self-serving, narcissistic "My Favorite Tweets Of 2009" lists, but FYI these are not just MY favorites, they are Other People's Favorites too.
You can also find them (and a lot more) HERE and HERE.

YOU. ARE. WELCOME.

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My Favorite Favorited Tweets of 2009:

Being a REAL "Power Mom" has zero to do with the internet. Or marketing. Or monetizing. Or being legendary in your own mind.

I am offering large cups of Shut The Fuck Up with free unlimited refills.

I tried to love my neighbor as I love myself but he really didn't like The Rabbit.

Bring chips and chocolate when visiting a woman with PMS or menopause. The life you save may be your own.

I wish tears tasted like chocolate so that at least I could ENJOY the incessant peri-menopausal crying.

I think I've gone from a 36C to a 36Long.

One person's hero is another person's douchebag.

And from the #fakeinspirationalcrap series...

"I try to always focus on the positive; like, You're positively a douchebag." #fakeinspirationalcrap

"To allow love to blossom is to invite someone to pick it, stick it in a jar, and watch it die." #fakeinspirationalcrap

"Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's also likely to get you stabbed in the head." #fakeinspirationalcrap

"It's okay to be a failure, as long as nobody sees it." #fakeinspirationalcrap

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That is all.
Have a Day Year.

Out with the old and in with new. RIGHT.

OOOOH, it's already starting.
I've heard talk. I've read blurbs and tweets and many a thing...
NEW YEAR'S EVE is almost here.
And with that... The Coming Of The Resolutions.

I have to say that in a way it's my favorite time of year, mostly because I get to read all the things you are SIMPLY RESOLVED to do this year ABSOLUTELY, FOR SURE UH HUH THIS TIME I RILLY MEAN IT.

And I giggle a lot.

Because I go look at your LAST year's list of resolutions, and the year before that, and the year before that....

You know that when I'm talking about myself I prefer to call them "Suggestions".
Because really, I don't feel at all bad about ignoring suggestions.

Here are YOUR Top 10 Broken Resolutions from the last few years... how many will you have yet AGAIN this year?
I think if you've had a thing on your Resolutions list more than two years with a chance at a third... it's time to accept the fact that it's not gonna happen. EVER.

Go ahead & write your list. It makes me laugh. I'm laughing WITH YOU, of course.

1. "I'm going to start blogging every day/more often!" (RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT)

2. "I'm going to take up exercising... just as soon as I get the right shoes!" (seriously, HOW many years does it take to find the right shoes? I only went back 5 years in your blog but STILL.HASN'T.HAPPENED)

3. "I'm going to diet and eat healthier!" (hahahahahahahaha! have another cookie. Also that would totally be on my list, and I would break it within a week. Or hour.)

4. "I'm going to spend more time with my kids and family - I'm missing all the growing up parts!" (all I have to do is look at my twitter timeline and see all the mommybloggers flying hither and thither every other week to this conference or that conference...all sans kids)

5. "I'm going to quit drinking/smoking!" (why give up the only things that truly give you pleasure?)

6. "I'm going to read more!" (great idea in theory, but Playboy and Hustler don't count. Neither does Martha Stewart Living)

7. "I am going to GET ORGANIZED!" (but will you STAY organized? I WILL BE CHECKING)

8. "I'm going to stop TALKING about stuff and just DO IT!" (okay, yeah, that would involve GETTING UP FROM THE COMPUTER. Good luck with that.)

9. "I'm going to work less!" (For some of you, I just don't see how that's even POSSIBLE #lazyasses)

10."I'm going to take up a new hobby!" (Five bucks says your new hobby has something to do with being online)

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So.... what else you got?

*ring ring* 2008 Calling...

but first...
Word Picture Sunday v. 2008 will return next week!
and
in case you missed the show on Friday, I put it here for you.

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New Year's resolutions? Resolution is such a strong word...we'll just leave that out.

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New Year's Suggestions:

1. Don't be such a bitch
2. ...

Yeah, that's it, that's all I've got.
And let's be honest here, I doubt I'll keep that one either.

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I wasn't going to do it, but I changed my other mind.

BEST OF 2007

("Best" being relative, you know)

January '07: Putting the 'fun' back in funeral - Remembrance and MY FINAL WISHES.

March '07: Mmm, Craig Ferguson - Friday Thoughts.

April '07: Mother talk - Fearless Friday and I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell.

May '07: Dredging the bottom of the barrel - Say It Ain't So!

August '07: Always On Monday

September '07: Typical Monty - All The Little Pieces

October '07: Mondays seem to be my best days - Monday Discoveries and Odd Things

November '07: Java issues - What? What Did I Do?

December '07: ICE STORM 2007! - INTERNETS! Oh INTERNETS, How I've Missed You!

You'll notice that some months are not listed...it's because they were filled with even more crap than usual.

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If you're going out to celebrate tomorrow, remember that it's Amateur Night--BE VIGILANT! BE SAFE!
Don't drink and drive, cabs are workin' for free. I MEAN IT. Don't make me come over there.

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Happy New Year.
That is all.