Because I'm just a girl who cain't say no...

HAHA! I stole this from my beloved Heather:

Get Your Sexy Name

You should see what I got when I used my real name. *wink wink*

MotherTalk Book Review: MAXIMUM RIDE 3

6 Flying hybrid kids.
1 Talking dog.
Saving the world.


I first became acquainted with the concept of flying bird-kids and genetic hybridization when reading two of James Patterson's "grown up" books: When The Wind Blows and its sequel, The Lake House.

I was pleased to get the opportunity from MotherTalk to read and review MAXIMUM RIDE 3: Saving The World And Other Extreme Sports.
It (along with its two prequels) was written as a young adult book, and my daughter (12) and I both have thoroughly enjoyed the series so far.

Max (14 years old) and her flock are genetic hybrids...bird-kids. Recombinant DNA experiments. Not only do they have impressive wing-spans and incredible strength, some of them have developed other 'talents' such as mimicry and the ability to read and/or control minds. They are constantly being chased by half-lupine "Erasers", who have tried to kill or capture the flock on more than one occasion. "Erasers" were created by the same Evil Scientists that engineered The Flock--and many other cross-species beings.
In volume three, live Erasers have been replaced with Robot Erasers; most likely because the live ones kept getting their collective butts kicked by Max and her flock. The Robot Erasers were a bit silly to me as an adult, but my daughter enjoyed them and found them delightfully shivery.
And did I mention the talking dog? Because he's fabulously snarky and I wish I had him for my own.

This book can stand alone, but some of the story threads will be easier to tug if you start at the beginning with MAXIMUM RIDE: The Angel Experiment and MAXIMUM RIDE 2: School's Out Forever.

My daughter has now found herself interested in blogging because the oldest boy in the flock, Fang, has a blog of his own.

Maximum Ride 3 is full of adventure, excitement...and just enough grossness to impress even the tween boys--and heaven knows how hard it is to get them to read something other than comic books at times!
James Patterson manages to bring environmental awareness subtly to the reader's attention, and of course the ever popular Good vs. Evil battle--the Evil Scientists have a plan to kill off half the population and it's up to Max (according to the Voice that lives in her head) to save the world.
The author has tapped in well to the minds of the younger set, with some of the current lingo and even the whole teenage angst thing. One chapter features Fang's 'blog comments' and I laughed out loud because I've seen many, many similarly written comments across the blogosphere. Mayb u have 2?

Max herself is attitude personified, but she's shown to be courageous and nurturing as well as displaying incredible leadership abilities without being a jerk. I can think of worse role models for my daughter. WAY worse. (Right, Lindsay & Paris?)

I would recommend this book (and the entire series) for pre-teens, tweens, and teenagers. These books are easy reads with a smooth flow, and a broad stroke of humor throughout. And for the grown ups? Try When The Wind Blows and The Lake House.
We're anxiously awaiting Maximum Ride 4...and we hear tell there's gonna be a Maximum Ride movie. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm just as excited as my girl is.


My daughter seems to think it would totally be worth a lot of the troubles in order to have those big gorgeous wings and the ability to fly.
I'm pretty sure I agree with that.

Friday night's all right for...

...tuning in to FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE with ME!
Tonight at 9pm Central, 10pm EST, 7pm Pacific

You've already heard everything on your playlist, so come and listen to mine for awhile.
Listen whilst you surf, listen while you play the Meet & Greet, listen while you play your geeky RPGs. :)



PLUS!:
Reality TV Update
Your horoscope
Other stuff, which may or may not be amusing.

And? The chat room will be open if you want to come and play. I may take a request or two. If I don't think it sucks.

Breaking my own rules

You know, I really hate visiting blogs that post a big bunch of youtube videos all the damn time...with that (hypocritically) said, I must now share with you my new favorite song (well, for this week anyway) and my new favorite video.
Just watch. And listen. This one time.

Because I do like a good pizza.

True, oh so true...

What Your Pizza Reveals

Your appetite is pretty average. You don't go overboard - but you don't deprive yourself either. You consider pizza to be bread... very good bread. You fit in best in the Midwest part of the US. You favor foods that are simple and high quality. You believe that showy ingredients only serve to cover up mediocre cooking techniques. You are dependable, loyal, and conservative with your choices. You are cultured and intellectual. You should consider traveling to Vienna. The stereotype that best fits you is geek. You're the type most likely to order pizza to avoid leaving your computer.

What Does Your Pizza Say About You?

...especially that last part. God bless delivery.

Because I hate everything.

This has been a...challenging week.
Enrollment Week. Yeah, I know. Didn't I bitch about that last year? And the year before that? Pretty sure I did.
THIS year there were even MORE of the everfucking hoops through which I had to jump...and an apparent last-minute rule change that caused my daughter to miss the first day of school. Which caused a whole other round of difficulties.
I meant to tell you all about it, but it sounded like so much whining and complaining that I decided not to.
Plus then I decided I hate typing as well.
And blogging.
And getting up out of my chair. And a bunch of other stuff. Like simpering females and star-fuckers and people who align themselves with 'popular' people in hopes that it will rub off on them. Never mind, this list is endless.

Plus I have PMS. And wicked cramps. And I cried when I watched a damn COMMERCIAL last night. I don't even remember what it was a commercial FOR. I think it might've been M&Ms.

Then, to add insult to injury injury to insult, I got a big ass prickly sticker stuck deep in my finger and it hurt a WAY LOT to pull it out.

So I thought I'd cheer myself up by searching keywords to see which posts they'd pull up and stick one of 'em up here.

---

**originally posted September '05

I went through a brief period in Hormonal Jr. High School where I read nothing but romance novels~I couldn't get enough Harlequin, Sillhouette, and historical romances.

O! The things we thought those books taught us as young girls~how it was supposed to feel when we were truly in love, and how we would suffer at least one big misunderstanding that would tear us apart from our loved one, but True Love would always triumph in the end.

Then I got married. And divorced. And then I lived with a man. And we had children. And then split up.
And I learned that those books left out a significant number of details that we really should know and learn how to deal with.

Thus I present to you a short list of
10 Things The Romance Books Don't Tell You How To Handle

1. Skidmarks
2. Morning breath
3. The first time you fart during sex
4. Smelly feet
5. What happens when you fix beans & cornbread for dinner, and then sleep over
6. The first time you have to poo when he/she is at your house.
7. All sorts of body odors in all sorts of places
8. A little something hanging from your nose (or his) when you're on a date.
9. Hairy backs and shoulders on otherwise perfect-for-you men
10. First Date Food In Your Teeth

Just the tip of the iceburg, folks. And don't act like you've never felt the anxiety from at least one or two of the things on that list.
Got any to add?

---

Oh and PS: Quick tip. DO NOT, no matter how tempting it is, eat a frosted cinnamon Pop-Tart before bed, as it can cause bizarrely tumbled and twisted and scary nightmares.
Although I guess it could've been the Sour Cream & Onion chips, too.

---

OH and PPS: I just now glanced at my stats and there were FOUR SEARCHES for Chicka Latte Girls.
The HELL?

Survivor Island Journal--The Final Three

Dear Diary,

I don't know when I last updated this journal. I have lost all ability to think clearly, with the relentless sun pounding down on our heads. I fear that my brain may have been somewhat boiled.

I have a vague memory of Jeckles announcing that I had made the FINAL THREE, along with Rose and Nat.

I think I was excited when I heard that. I don't recall.

Weak...so weak...

The Penultimate Task is, I believe, to put together some sort of model of the island. Since I was unlucky enough not to find the Legos or toys and candles that washed up on shore, and since I couldn't find a handy-dandy craft store on this godforsaken island, I was forced to scrounge around and use whatever materials came to hand.

No, my daughter did not do this project for me, although it looks as though she could have. Hers would've been better. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make your own play-doh?

---

Jeckles wanted close to life-sized models...to be contrary, I made mine as small as I possibly could. HAHA!

**click pic to enlarge
An aerial view of the island, which is what I imagine Jeckles sees when he flies over to spy on us:



My fortress on the shallow-water side (and they STILL try to get in. Go figure):



Nat's hippiefied tent:



Rose's camouflaged shelter--truthfully I don't think she wants to be rescued. There were lace curtains on the sides that she made from weaving some dried grasses together, but unfortunately they blew away in the big wind that swept through here last night:



This is the place where we are afraid to wander, especially after dark. We've dubbed it "Cannibal Hill":



Here lie the final remains of our former Survivor co-shipwreckees:



And the wreck that brought us here in the first place:




Now...I must rest. I fear for my survival...but I'm thinking that a date with the sharks would be a welcome change.

Love,
Me

MeeeeeMeeeee

One of my new pals, Burnt Offerings, apparently does not know that I will curse you with a case of boils for tagging me has kindly tagged me for a Meme!

Ok, so the purpose of this Unnamed Meme is to bring back some older posts and evidently was started by Mimi Pencil Skirt (or so I hear).

Actually I don't mind this one; I often re-post old stuff because it's frequently better than anything I could come up with now, plus I like the excuse to drag out some of my personal favorites. Yeah yeah, some of you will be all "OMG don't post that AGAIN! I've seen it a bazillion times already!"...and I am forced to reply, "Nyah nyah nyah I am the boss of me so I can do whatever I want. So there."

---

Here we go:

Link One: Family - Because I still miss my Uncle Kenneth, I want to share my Remembrance post. And this one, My Final Wishes, goes along with it, so it's not really cheating to use both of them. :)

Link Two: Friends - I have so many wonderful blog-friends...but very few really good 'in-person' friends. Here's a little of what friendship means to me: The World According To Monty.

Link Three: Yourself - I actually posted this during the blogathon but I'll link it again here: Come and spend the day with me, won't you?

Link Four: Something you love - What do I love more than my children? Nothing in this world. The annual birthday post, for my babies.

Link Five: Anything at all - This is tough, because, you know, after a few hundred posts there are bound to be at least one or two really good ones. I'll cheat again (because I can) and share two of my favorites: one (really really OLD post) on feminism and one on a trip south.

I hope those of you who missed these the first time enjoy them. If you do NOT enjoy them, please tell me that you did anyway.
Hey, I'd do the same for you.
Well, most likely.

---

Thanks, Burnt Offerings!! (I was only kidding about the boils thing, I try to only use my voodoo doll for good rather than evil)(mostly)

---

Feel free to tag yourself, and leave a comment so that I may come and admire your work.

---

OH and PS: Don't forget to tune in to Empire Radio
TONIGHT at 10pm EST for FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE with MONTY!

Always on Monday

So I grabbed my styrofoam cup (one of the good pieces of drinkware, you know) from the dining room table, looked into it and noticed that it was still about 1/4 full of Dr. Pepper, filled it the rest of the way up (with the last of the Dr. Pepper), and took a big icy-cold gulp.

Hey, guess what?

It hadn't been Dr. Pepper in the cup.
It was old coffee.
From yesterday.

*sigh*

A random think

I think if I worked at The Crack House, I would lick all the peppermints and re-wrap them.
Just for fun.

Listen while you surf...

Missed the show? It's okay, I forgive you. You can make it up to me by listening now:


Click here to get your own player.



GREAT music!
Plus:
Updated versions of classic cartoon theme songs--Spider Man, Jetsons, Underdog, Speed Racer, and more!
Your horoscope!
Reality TV update!
Me!

You don't know what you're missing.

Time Flies When They're Growing Up

Summer is fleet of foot,
loping across the green-brown grass
with a twitch of yellow mini skirt;
All coltish legs
and pink high-tops.

Some thoughts from the corner

My dear friend Kris left a comment in the previous post regarding her method of B.O.B. disposal..

and I just have to say that using the words "B.O.B." and "recycle" in the same sentence makes me a little...uneasy.

I was going to say 'leaves a bad taste in my mouth', but that would've been crossing the line into uckiness.
:)

---

I was watching a commercial for an upcoming reality TV show called Kid Nation...

and I wondered how long before those kids go all Lord Of The Flies, western style.

---

Is anyone else disturbed by that thought?
Or is it just me?

I'm free! I'm free!

A lovely gesture, even when it's not meant for you but instead for a dear friend, is happy-making.

---

The motor on my favorite B.O.B. gave out.
This is a tragedy.

Funeral will be held this evening.
Hopefully the other B.O.Bs will be able to comfort me.
*sob*