Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I was allowed briefly out of the corner

...to say a couple of things.


Before the blogathon began, the beauteous Tiny Void asked for spooky ghost stories and pictures.

Some of you may recall when I showed you a certain ghostly picture and told you about my haunted house.

Guess what?? My story won for Best Picture!

I'm very excited.


You know what else I'm excited about? My darling, delightful pal Raehan made a generous pledge that put me well over my $700 goal!

You know what that means. Yeah, a showtune. PLUS the $600 bribe, Hotel California.
Thanks Rae! And THANKS to all my other kick-ass superstar sponsors too!

Now. Back to my corner. I'm supposed to be "thinking about my behavior". *sigh*

Monday, July 30, 2007

Because she is such a naughty girl

Final Thoughts...after a few hours of sleep.

I think the Blogathon is a lot like childbirth.

I mean, last year I participated, had a great time, raised a lot of money (okay, yeah, none of that is at ALL like childbirth, just go with me here). I remember being really tired, but obviously it wasn't so bad that I didn't sign up to do it again.

LAST night, about 18 or 19 hours into the blogathon, I.Was.Wiped.
Seriously. Right, I didn't do the radio thing last year, and I did six hours THIS year, so that added to the whole exhaustion thing.
But there were times when I knew I was going to have to drop out because I was JUST SO TIRED (and in fact I most likely wouldn't have made it if not for Jeckles; he stuck right with me and reminded me to post and kept me company--but don't tell him I said he was a nice guy).

I tumbled into bed at about 9am and slept for three hours...I've sort of been zombified most of the day.

And now it's just after midnight and I feel fine and dandy, and I'm thinking "oh, it wasn't so bad! I will totally do it again next year! No sweat!"

Like childbirth.
Once it's over, you forget about the pain and focus on what you brought to life.

Yeah. Like that.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

AAAAAAND...we're clear!

WOW! I was worried for a little bit that I wasn't going to make it...but here we are.

BIG HUGS AND KISSES AND THANKS to all my wonderfully generous sponsors, who helped make this possible--and helped make some lives a little better, too.
Check 'em out over there on the sidebar; they're the heroes of the story.

BIG HUGS AND KISSES AND THANKS to all my wonderful friends who carried me through, helped keep me awake, and reminded me-more than once-that I needed to post.

BIG HUGS AND KISSES AND THANKS to all the DJs at Empire Radio for providing 39 hours of live entertainment to help keep the 'thonners on their toes and dancin' the night away.
Excellent work, you guys.

BIG HUGS AND KISSES AND THANKS to United Cerebral Palsy, to whom you sponsors shall be sending your hard earned $$. Every dollar counts. EVERY.DOLLAR. (OH and PS don't forget that it is NOT TOO LATE to Sponsor Me!)

BIG HUGS AND KISSES AND THANKS to all my friends, both online and in person, who offered me (and other Blogathonners) plenty of support and encouragement, who stayed up late even if they were not participating in the 'thon.

YOU make good things possible. Thank you.

I love you.
Pass it on.

The Penultimate Post

ALMOST THERE! I can see the end from here.

Quick recap:
I'm doing the Blogathon!
My charity, in honor of my sweet son, is United Cerebral Palsy!
We are now 23 and One Half hours into the blogathon!
Man, am I freakin' tired!

Have you Sponsored me yet? What's the holdup?
It's tax deductible!
It's a lovely thing to do!
It won't hurt you to give up a couple of lattes this week for charity, will it?
No, of course it won't!

BIG GIANT KUDOS TO all the other Blogathonners and Empire Radio for all the hard work--MOST EXCELLENT!

One more post...then to bed with me. I've left you PLENTY of reading material for the next few days. FORTY EIGHT POSTS WORTH so far.

Please excuse any additional or missing punctuation and/or letters.
I can't really feel my fingertips.

oh the waiting is the hardest part...

Dear Golfwidow and Mr. Fabulous:

I'm soSOso glad you're here!
But HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE EVEN UP?? You must have some magical powers. Please share them with me. Just an hour's worth.

Love and kisses,

*sings* It's the final countdown...

*sings* I get by with a little help from my friends...

*sings* When I think about you I touch mys...
well. That's enough of that.

Right On!

Only ONE and ONE HALF HOURS left!

Then I will go to bed and with my luck, won't be able to fall asleep.

I tell you what, I couldn't have made it without the help of my friends.
But the finish line is in view...

And I'm very happy to have participated in the blogathon.

The sky is lightening, the neighbor's rooster is getting wound up, and the birds are a-startin' to sing (or sang, as we say 'round these here parts).

It's gonna be a great day.
Ah yes.

please title this with something interesting

I'm blogging nekkid.

Just thought I'd share.

my mind is a complete blank right now.

No more coffee, my stomach is already burning.

I have one energy drink left. I'm hoping I don't have to use it...but I'm afraid its time is coming.


You can still sponsor me!!

I'm supposed to be off the air at the top of the hour, with this post, but I don't know where my relief is.

Oh well, I've got more music. ROCK ON.

NEVER MIND, the relief just came in the chat room! YAY! Go listen to DJ TOXIK, he'll get you all woken up and groovin'!

Two and a half hours...

and HELLS YEAH I'm counting every minute!

I have to say that even though I'm EXHAUSTED, I've had a fantastic time with the blogathon this year!
It's been tough doing the show AND remembering to post in a timely fashion...but I managed it! Our chatroom was full of people all day, keeping our spirits up and cheering us on--and many of them were participating in the blogathon as well so we had a great support network goin'!

So YAY to all the fab DJs, the grooviest listeners, the best of the best!
And YAY to all my sponsors--I adore you! Thank you for your generosity!

Special thanks to Jeckles for keeping me company and keeping me awake, especially the last few hours.


All right kids, only three more hours!
Dig deep.
We can do it.
Somebody say yes.

Don't make me beg, it's undignified.

Hells bells

I was just reminding all the listeners to make a post...and forgot to write my own.



I've been a lousy commenter tonight, but I do want to catch up with many of the blogs I've been following! Unfortunately, it's most likely going to have to wait until I have some sleep. :D

Sssh, don't tell anybody, but...

I am now scooping peanut butter out of the jar with my finger. Somewhere between the kitchen and the computer I lost the spoon and I was too tired to look for it.

Tastes just as good this way.

Go Jif!

It's not to late to sponsor a blogger in the Blogathon!

In fact, you can go over to the sidebar there and sponsor ME!
I'm blogging for United Cerebral Palsy, in case you missed the first 25 times I mentioned it.

Right-O, I'm loopy.

No need to say "what's new?"


I think.
I've lost all ability to do math.

Hangin' tough

I'd love to post something terribly funny and clever...but I can't do that even when I'm NOT completely worn out. :)

Come and LISTEN IN! We're rockin' it out.

WOW! Where did that last thirty minutes go!

When I break the time up into thirty minutes and think of it like that, the time just FLIIIIIIEEEEESSSS by!

But if I stop and think--FIVE MORE HOURS--I feel exhausted.

So thirty minutes at a time is how we'll go on.

Be sure to check out the post a couple down from this and ADD YOUR PIECE OF THE STORY!

Time for me to go ON THE AIR!!
Come and CHAT!


I'm a little muzzy-headed but I will attempt coherent conversation when I head back over to The Empire for another three hours! wooo!

Since I'm tired and I know a lot of you must be too, I'm going to play some LOUD-ASS-WAKE-UP music!

Let's get our numb asses out of our chairs and DAAANCE!

Head on over to Empire Radio and listen to Luka until I get there in half an hour.

It is now OUR story.

Let's add to it, shall we?? :)
I'll link you right along, and we'll make a nice long story!
FUN FUN FUN! A group project!
Thanks, Mr. Fab, for adding the next piece of the puzzle!

"Wow, what a crazy night," she thought as she picked the Cheerios from her cleavage.
Then she looked around and realized she had no idea where she was. Thoughtfully she nibbled one of the cleavage-Cheerios and tried to find her last clear memory...
She thought it might have had something to do with the diaper she was wearing, but she couldn't be sure.

Okay, so I thought about it...

...then I realized I could no longer form a coherent thought.
I'm moving into that stage of tiredness, you know, where you feel a little bit drunk.
I'm not complaining--I have vague memories of feeling this way last year so I'm not unprepared for it.

I will be BACK ON THE AIR at Empire Radio in about an hour and a half...that should be amusing. PRobably more music than talk, as I'm not sure I can speak without slurring right now.

I have no idea where I was going with this post.

Apple slices dipped in peanut butter ROCK.

I feel like I have some important things to say, to get off my chest, to vent...but damned if I can think of a single one right now.

Opening Lines

This is harder than it looks.

"Wow, what a crazy night," she thought as she picked the Cheerios from her cleavage.
Then she looked around and realized she had no idea where she was. Thoughtfully she nibbled one of the cleavage-Cheerios and tried to find her last clear memory...

HEY! I just had a good idea. YOU get to add the next sentence. :)

I know, I know.
My brain hurts.

Holy Cow

See, I'm trying to catch up on a little blog reading, and I forgot to write a post!
C'mon coffee, finish a-brewin' so that I can partake of your deliciousness.

Dangit. I've got to un-fuzzle my brain.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Not a hundred. Not even close.

Okie doke, I've never done of those "100 Things About Me", because, well, there aren't 100 interesting things about me, and plus I'm sure you'd be bored half to death before you got into double digits.

I have, however, posted a half-dozen things about myself from time to time, so I'll just put 'em all right here for you & see how many I come up with.

1. I am terribly shy.
2. I work hard to overcome that.
3. I don't care much for people in general...except for you, of course.
4. I am frequently weepy and emotional, even when I don't have PMS.
5. I am naive and cynical at the same time.
6. I am pessimistically optimistic~I hope for the best, expect the worst, and am always surprised at the outcome.
7. I hold entire conversations with myself, OUT LOUD. Sometimes in the mirror.
8. I sometimes shout "SPOOOOOOOOON!" or "CATFISH!" for no apparent reason. (actually they're inside jokes, but I use them even when no-one is around to get it)
9. I like to belch REAAAAALY long & loud, Booger style. Sometimes I can get halfway through the alphabet.
10 I am a packrat. I save stuff. LOTS of stuff. Hey, I might need it some day.
11 I am weird about eating chicken. I must pick it apart and make sure there is absolutely no pink anywhere.
12 1. I sleep with the covers pulled over my head, with only a small circular opening for my face. Ever since Nancy got that moth in her ear that time, I'm struck by a paranoid fear that a spider will crawl in my ear whilst I'm asleep.
13. I frequently have to make a conscious effort to relax my jaws, as I tend to clench them and grit my teeth.
14. I have yet to learn how to curb my tongue and control my temper.
15. I am so not one o' those nurturing types.
16. People who do absolutely nothing productive with their lives (including work) but constantly brag about how much better they could do something drive me into an absolute frenzy. **ed. note: Being a SAHM is definitely work, so don't think that I'm including you in that statement)
17. I like to eat celery stuffed with peanut butter.
18. I do not like the taste of beer.
19 I like to say the word "quash". Perhaps too frequently.
20 I know what squalene is.
21 Milk, on the Sell By date, might as well be sour because I'm throwing it out. Okay, I'm lying. I tend to throw it out a couple of days (or so) early.
22 After I brush my teeth and rinse, I make a growly noise into the towel when I'm drying my mouth.

Wow, only 22, and I bored myself.


Time to pull it together!
I'm not on the air again for a few hours, so I'll get some better posts coming up sooooon!

And then I'll remind you all to check out my charity, United Cerebral Palsy, for whom I am blogging.

Have you sponsored me yet? Don't you think it's time you did?


Then I'll be able to pay more attention here...and post more than 10 words at a time.
Hey, I'm blonde and multitasking doesn't come easy. :D


I hope this is my second wind I'm feeling now...YEAH BABY!
Soon's I get finished with my shift at Empire Radio, I'll be working on some more Opening Line stories..
and hopefully have a few minutes to catch up on some of your posts!!

Stay tuned!


I'm getting loopy, I almost missed a post! CRAAAZY!

Forgive the short little posts, I'm broadcasting & having a little trouble staying on track.

In fact, I almost posted this one at 9pm, because I forgot I'd already done one.

dance dance dance

How are YOU staying awake?
The can of suck I drank was nasty, but very helpful.

My eyes are the worst part, they're SO VERY TIRED.

I'm on the air, if you want to tune in! CHAT ROOM is open and full of fun folks!

Shakin' it like a polaroid picture

Got some dancin' tunes on right now, you should TUNE IN!

My darling daughter Cinderella Becca just made me a most delicious pot of fresh coffee...she's an expert and should have no trouble finding employment at Starbucks. Which would rock because then hey, free coffee.

I just drank some energy drink called 180 Blue with Acai...it is the suck.

my turn! my turn!

Guess what? You can tune in to EMPIRE RADIO and listen to me play a fab mix of music for the next three hours!

Come on, join the Empire.

Have you sponsored your blogger today?

Another quickie

because I need to get outside and streeeeeeeetch a little bit and kick the ol' brain up a notch because in a half an hour I'll be ON THE AIR!

Now, have you sponsored me yet? It's not too late! We're getting very close to the $700 goal, which means I will sing you a show tune. And I'll sing it very, very badly.

Last year I sang badly too, wanna hear??

Blogathon Contest!

For the CONTEST!

The PRE-COFFEE Blogathon Face

Man, it is HOT in here. I'm stripped down as far as I can decently go at the moment.
Of course, someone just knocked at the door.
A handsome stranger. Can you believe my luck?
He said, "I'm the plumber. I've come to....snake out your pipes."

*cue music*
BOWN CHICKA BOW BOW wocka-chicka wocka-chicka wocka-chicka


Just kidding.

I feel silly, oh so silly...

Quick Self Check

Tired? Yeah, a little...luckily not sleepy just at the mo'
Ass numb? oh HELL yeah
Eyes? ooh, the eyes are tired, but I'm trying to remember to close them for a few minutes every so often.
Post ideas? mmm, running a little low, but still have the Opening Lines to attempt to think through.

Overall? still kickin' it, baby.

Please oh please, let it be bedtime for the children soon.

I will be ON THE AIR in an hour and half!


In case you're a little behind, here's what:
A while back I asked for some Opening Lines for the Blogathon, and I will use those to create a very short (and crappy) story or something...story-like.
(if you think of a good Opening Line you'd like for me to use, leave it in the comments!)(and of course, I will link YOUR opening line to YOUR blog)

There are worse things a man could do than clip his toenails all over my favorite comforter, but I can't think of a single one right at the moment.
She looked at the clippings lying there innocently, feeling the rage bubble up inside. Snatching up the offending comforter, Sally stomped to the balcony doors, threw them open with a crash, and gave the comforter a couple of vicious shakes over the railing.
Sally returned to the bedroom, spread the comforter back across the big king-size bed, and lovingly smoothed it...
and felt a sharp sting as something sliced the meaty part of her palm.
"DAMMIT!" she screamed, shaking her hand, looking to see what caused the cut.
And there it was.
A quarter inch wide nail from a big toe, snagged in the delicate fabric.
A queer look came over Sally's face, and she grabbed the scissors, stood behind the bedroom door, and waited for him to come home...

I hope to get to the Opening Lines stories SOON!

Dinner time for the kids...so the short post.
Not that I had anything all that interesting to say just now anyways.


Almost everyone I know has called me today. Some family members wanted to drop by too.


Has everyone forgotten I'm a hermit? And anti-social?

Now my son is making me a little nuts--WHY IS IT NOT BEDTIME FOR THE KIDS YET??

Speaking of my son...he's got CP, which is why I've chosen United Cerebral Palsy as my charity for this year's Blogathon

Yep, this is for him, and all the other people who are affected by CP. Not just the people who have cerebral palsy, but the families as well.

UCP helps provide housing, assistive technology and equipment, and so much more! They help people with CP find jobs and learn to live more independently--do I need to even mention how important it is for a person-ANY person-to be able to live independently? To be self-reliant?

Won't you please sponsor me, help me raise money for UCP?
That'd be awesome. Thanks very, very much.


According to the Alexa traffic report, more than 56% of my visitors are from Canada.
I guess the Canadians really like me or really don't. :)

ALL THIS TIME and I've only just realized that I don't have my Yahoo messenger OR Skype turned on--and I meant to have them on first thing this morning.

I have to go outside for a few minutes, so I'll turn on the stuff (why does that sound dirty?) when I come back inside.

I need fresh air.


Jeckles raises a good point and it's one that I mostly agree with: blogging anonymously.

I know, I know, I'm not exactly anonymous here--most of you know my real name, some of you know my address, and some of you have spent time with me over drinks, dinner, or a movie. My picture is up there for all the world to see.


My family? My 'in person' friends? Uh uh. NUH uh.
I have ONE in person friend who knows how to find this place.

I prefer to keep it that way.

And plus? People who don't blog mostly do not understand the concept of blogging (well of course there are exceptions--like my In Person friend who comes here--but mostly not).

Besides, I couldn't very well talk about my family and friends behind their backs if they visited me here, could I??

Just some flotsam & jetsam

Sometiumes I feel reaully British and I liuke to speull thiungs with an euxtra letter.

*teehee* (you knouw I'm teasiung, riught?) xouxoxouxoxouxox

Dear Creepy Sycophant,

You should probably see a doctor about that whole Multiple Personality Disorder thingy.
Is all I'm saying.

A Semi-Concerned Citizen.

I know I've been reading too many detective and special-ops novels when I start checking for a tail every time I leave the house.

I need a little break

My shoulders are starting to get a little tight, I need to get up and walk around for a bit.
I have grand plans...
Well, let's not kid ourselves here, we all know how I am.

I have to turn off the music for awhile so I can try to think.

If you're just tuning in, I am blogging for United Cerebral Palsy--please feel free to sponsor me in this Blogathon effort!

49 posts, 24 hours...

I need an energy drink.
I feel all yawny & stuff.


I'm on the phone with a very old friend...do you know how hard it is to blog when you're on the phone?? :)


man oh man I can barely keep up! I'm trying to listen to JECKLES broadcast AND EMPIRE RADIO (the station where I "work")...keep up with a couple of blogs, two kids, AND post every thirty minutes whilst trying to work up a playlist for when I go on the air this evening.

I used to think I was good at multitasking...now, not so much.

I wonder how my friends are doing at the BlogHer Conference right now?

I like to play Michele's Meet & Greet when I can...but the last couple of weeks have been a little...strange over there.
I'm going to say what I think right here, rather than stir up more garbage on her boards.
Do you know Michele? She's fabulous and I adore her.
But there have been a lot of disruptive comments from a couple of people in particular lately...and then today some of the regulars are sniping at each other on Michele's comment boards.
That's just rude.
The regulars should know better.
I have no idea why people can't just learn how to be decent.

See, this is why I don't like people.

Looka that!

Check out the sidebar and growing list of sponsors...

Apparently two of you had the same idea, to even out the cents...and look what happened.
That made me laugh.
xoxoxoxoxox to you wonderfully generous people!!
It's not too late to get in on the fun--just sponsor me!

An oldie but a goodie

Okay, so I'm trying to get my kids some lunch...I hope you don't mind that I went into the dusty, cobwebby blog-corners to pull out an old post.
If you do mind, too fuckin' bad. :)

**originally posted 5/26/06

Now, today's post idea was stolen straight from the delicious and brilliant GRINS. You should visit her. She cracks my ass sideways.
It is a pictorial review of...
A Day In The Life Of Monty

I chose a workday because as boring as that is, it is still better than my weekends. That would be a quick review, with a picture of the television and a picture of the computer.

Come spend the day with me, won't you?

Oh dear. It is early, isn't it?
I hope I didn't scare you.
I call this stage "Incoherence"...

...if you try to talk to me during this phase, you will most likely be answered with animal-like grunts and perhaps a violent shove as I make my way to the
Prime Objective...

Aaaah, much better. Now I can speak.
Okay, time to get everyone ready.
Child #1 off to school...The Walker.
We've caught her in the lookback/kiss-blow/wave maneuver:

That little boy in yellow? The one who rode her double on his bike. *sigh*

Now Child #2 hits the bus. He does not look happy:

OH. I suppose I should introduce you to one of my pets, Sammy The Squirrel.
He lives in my side yard.
I think he may be feeling a little under the weather, because he hasn't been very active lately.
Wave to the people, Sammy!

Do you think I should take him to the vet?
Oh well.
Did you know that in the whole of Midwest City, there's no STARBUCKS?? (**edit: there is NOW)
So I stop in the mornings at my local Pseudo-Starbucks, right around the corner from my house, for my Triple Shot Venti Mocha Latte.
It's called "The Underground"

They have free WiFi, so sometimes I take my computer in and sit for an hour or two on my day off...

Be a lot easier on me if I had a laptop.
Toting that tower around gets heavy.
Anyway. Off to the job. Here's a main reason I don't mind the 30 minute commute to work every day~even at 8:30 am, no traffic!

Here's a college campus I pass twice a day, and I always wave and shout "HI AMANDA!!, because she works there:

One of my favorite parts of the drive to work is going around the lake..isn't it pretty? I do love this area:

Time for work now! Here we are.
This is the sight that greets me every morning when I open the door:

Good thing I'm not claustrophobic. Want a little tour?
Okay, this next room is where we
make Jaime Gumb Brand Suits O'Flesh
take pictures of the beautiful(?) clothes:

"It puts the lotion on its skin..."

How did that get in there? Creepy.
So, here are my underlings

I am the boss of them.
But those bad girls don't always mind me, especially when I tell them to do stuff like Go get me a mocha frappuccino. Dammit.
Now, here is the place where I will spend my day, from 9am to 7pm...

Gee, how interesting is that? Wow. I rock.
If I lean a little to my right, this is the view out my window (and one of the 1,000 Reasons I Love My Job):

I like to take a little break now & then to sit on the grass and watch the water lap the shoreline. You know how after awhile it feels like you're the one moving?
Yeah, that's cool.

Whew, it's been a long day, hasn't it? Time to head for home.
Here's our big 'downtown' area...actually it's sort of pretty when the light hits it just right:

I didn't say that now was one of those times.
Almost home now!
OH! Here's the place just around the corner, where I plan to take MommaK for dinner whenever she decides to visit me...
Rib Crib:

AAAaahhh, finally home again, home again, jiggety jig:

And my tired old eyes are refreshed when I see this beautiful sight riding toward me:

See, I usually get home from work at about 7:45-ish, so I don't cook dinner on work days. We eat out at a local restaurant which, fortuitously, is within walking distance. Right next door, in fact!
It is called The House Of My Mom, although the little people in my neighborhood refer to it as Grandma's House:

It even has outdoor seating for those lovely summer nights.
Always the best in homestyle food, I can tell you.
It is so very homestyle, in fact, that I have to fix my own plate:

mmmmm...homemade taco salad. Delish.
I really should start tipping, although I do wash my dishes sometimes.
Next, a little conversation with the proprietress of The House Of My Mom, who declined to have her photo taken. A little TV, then a half-hour or so on this thing:

I'd show you my real one that resides in my bedroom, but then you'd see how messy my room is...with the piles of shoes, the stacks and boxes of books, the thick layer of dust on the TV...
Believe me when I say you're better off not knowing.

*yaaaaawn* It's been a long day, hasn't it? I'm tired.
And we've come full circle, as I crawl into bed for a nice snooze so that I can begin it all over again tomorrow.

Say, thanks for spending the day with me.


Guess what? WE HAVE REACHED THE $600 MARK!
Hells yeah! My sponsors? ONLY the greatest sponsors in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

Hotel California, in fact.
Me & The Eagles, kickin' it. Yeah, baby.

Oh, you missed the first Blogathon Bribe Pay-Off song? Me & Missy Elliott?
You can go and listen to the White Girl Rap RIGHT HERE.

This is crazy.

Okay, I'm SO HUNGRY and I've been saying that for like an hour and a half--and here I still sit with my drink unopened (FUZE WHITE TEA, YUM) and some chips & French Onion dip (hey, it was either that or a chocolate fried pie--and I'm saving the pie for later) uneaten.

The time is flying by!
I'll enjoy that while it lasts, since I know that once midnight or so rolls around it's going to start CRAWLING.

Don't forget, it's not too late to SPONSOR ME!


I've discovered that I canNOT listen to music when I'm trying to make up a story using your Opening Lines.

I mean, I can read and listen to music at the same time...but apparently I cannot WRITE and listen to music at the same time.


HEY! You should listen to some music, on Empire Radio!
We're live live LIVE throughout the blogathon--I'll be your hostess later on this evening and again in the early (oMG FREAKIN'EARLY) hours of the morning, so you won't want to miss that.

Pop into the CHAT ROOM and say hello!! We're having a party in there. You MIGHT get a s'more. Or donut. :D

A quickie

I really (really!!!) need a quick shower and a bite to eat--and of course, I haven't had my coffee quota yet for the morning...so all you get is a quickie to let you know I'm here.

Hello, world.
I love you, pass it on.


I was just about to do an Opening Line story, but the one I picked is already stumping me! It's possible I need more coffee.
More than likely, even.
And I'm getting hungry...

Hey, want to see why I picked United Cerebral Palsy for my charity?

Sporting the Greg Brady White Boy 'Fro

Josh 2007

The Cutest Picture EVER

In Which She Says Thanks!

I would like to take this opportunity to give big sloppy wet tongue kisses to all my groovy sponsors, whether they want them or not. I appreciate each and every one of you! Love, love, spread the love:


(you can join the list, you know! Just sponsor me!)

In case you missed it...

(did you know it's not too late to SPONSOR ME? Because it's not!)

Last night I paid off my first Blogathon Bribe--the $500 White Girl Rap.
You can listen RIGHT HERE.

Help me reach the next goal of $600, and the Eagles & I will perform "Hotel California" for your entertainment.

If we get to $700, I will do a show tune...maybe from Chicago?

Open up those wallets, empty that change jar...

So, anyway...

I'm not really going to be posting anything in particular, for the most part...probably just the usual random junk.
I will, however, try to keep them relatively short because let's face it, 49 posts in 24 hours is difficult as the day wears on, plus you don't want to get stuck here for 20 minutes reading some long-ass post--especially when there are so many other good posts to read by some other great bloggers, like Jeckles, IcePrincezz, Luka, and Pandora.

Also? You should join me at Michele's Weekend Meet & Greet.

Also also? You should tune in to Empire Radio, as we will be LIVE for the entire blogathon, including the "B" schedule. WOW! That's 39 hours!

Also also also? Come on in to the Empire Radio CHAT ROOM and say HOWDY!!

I just realized that the time stamp was set in the wrong time zone. D'OH!

Speaking of D'OH!...

Dear FOX,
Yeah, we get it. Simpson's movie. Enough with the advertising already.
Thank you.

I think I might actually live.

I have coffee now.
MMMMMMM coffee.
How can anyone not love coffee?

HEY! Did you know that the Blogathon has begun?
Did you know that it is NOT TOO LATE to SPONSOR ME?

I'm blogging today for United Cerebral Palsy, in honor of my sweet son.

The UCP is a great help to people with CP and their families--they're involved providing housing, advocacy, helping people with CP to find jobs and live independent lives.
They provide equipment and assistive technology--my son loves the communication boards and touch-screen computers, because he can't speak.
What a great charity! I'm honored to be raising money for them...so why don't you think about heading over to Sponsor Me. That'd be awesome.

Plus, you know, the more you give, the more crappy singing I do for you. :)


Good morning to you! Now, this being the VERY FIRST blogathon post, I wanted it to be something really special.
But really, I haven't even had my coffee yet, so 'special' is just going to have to wait.

Did anyone else have trouble sleeping last night? Because I could.not.sleep. I even went to bed a little early...but nooooooo.
My mind was racing about a million different directions, PLUS my mother just gave my daughter a copy of the new Harry Potter and I desperately wanted to dive right into it.

I knew that if I did, however, I could just forget about sleep completely.

Now, the bad news is that I do have to work today, but I'll be working while Blogathonning...so at least during the first part of the day the posts may be a little short and I won't get around to do much visiting at first. Or chatting.
But, you know, feel free to leave me a comment and I'll come visit you as soon as I can.

I've got a lot of "Opening Lines", thanks to you, so throughout the day I'll be attempting to turn those into short (tiny, really) stories.
We'll see how that turns out.

Okay, for a first post this sucks, but let me pry my eyes open and it'll get better on down the line.

Surely it will.

Nekkid Blogging

I've got to go have a nice cold shower & wake up some...then we will have nekkid blogging! woohoo!

No webcam.
You just have to take my word for it.

Friday, July 27, 2007


It's just what you've been waiting for: The First Blogathon Bribe Pay-Off Song.
Dedicated to my darlin' HOSS.

Click here to get your own player.

You want more? YOU CAN'T HANDLE MORE!
But you can try, by sponsoring me in the blogathon!

The end of a dream.

Actually, that's a bit of an overstatement...more like the end of the possibility of a dream.

I don't understand how it's possible to feel genuinely happy for someone when the cause of the happiness hurts so badly that, just for a moment, it steals your breath.

WHAT? Already?


Have you SPONSORED ME yet?
Did you know that you can sponsor me all the way THROUGH the Blogathon and beyond? You can!

Reasons you should:

It's for an excellent charity, United Cerebral Palsy!
It's tax deductible!!
You love me!
You want to support and encourage me!
You will get to hear more silly songs sung really badly!

White Girl Rap, performed by me and Missy Elliot ($500 goal)
$600 goal: Hotel California, performed by me and the Eagles
$700 goal: A showtune of some sort, performed by me and...???
$1000 goal: THREE songs, chosen by my beloved sponsors

Give until you squeal like a pig. Just like Ned Beatty. Please.

TUNE IN TONIGHT for Friday Night Live, with your host...ME! 10pm EST, 9pm Central, 7pm Pacific
Excellent music
Your horoscope (with our special guest astrologer once again!)
Reality TV update
Blogathon talk

Come and play in the chat room.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Because sometimes the feelings overwhelm me

Thank you, God...

...because she still holds my hand
...because he still needs to sit in my lap and cuddle
...because she still forgives my temperamental outbursts
...because he has outlasted all estimates

For these two small lives more precious than gold or jewels
or anything, anything on earth...

...Thank you, God.

To The BlogHer-ites

Dear Everyone Who Is Going To BlogHer this weekend,

A couple of things.

1. I'm totally jealous of you
B. As some of you know, this Saturday I'm participating in the Blogathon. Many of you have generously sponsored me, for which I'm deeply appreciative. I will be blogging at 30 minute intervals for twenty-four hours straight.
Now, I know there will be laptops there at BlogHer--it is, after all, a blogger conference! So I have one more request: Please please please find a moment or two on Saturday to stop in here briefly and tell me a story about what a wonderful time you're having at BlogHer, playing with all my other blog friends who are there with you.

I will savor the envy and use it to spur myself on when I get really really tired in the wee hours of the morning and need a little incentive to push through.

Drunken stories are also welcome, since I know some of you may be hitting the Fat Bastard (in birthday celebration, perhaps??).

(What? You haven't sponsored me yet? What are you waiting for, hmmm? OH!! And don't forget--it's TAX DEDUCTIBLE!! AND you can sponsor me right up through the Blogathon and beyond, so please open those hearts and wallets!!)

Monday, July 23, 2007

Shitty Blog Survivor Journal - Task 4

Dear Diary,

Life on Survivor Island still sucks. Since I last had the energy to write, three of our number have gone. Yummy disappeared, like mist. Spooooky. Chad was taken away by some creepy dudes in sunglasses and dark suits; I suspect IRS trouble.

And Tammy, poor Tammy...her watermelon carving didn't cut the mustard and she was fed to the sharks.

That leaves only myself (who's the only one even CLOSE to normal at this point), Nat, Rose, Utopia, and Mango (who has remained chained to the tree since he cut his finger off during the last task, but he ain't dead yet, so I guess that's okay)

Our newest task, if we hope to live to see another day, is to compose a piece of beat poetry for our mad leader's entertainment. The dirty bastid.

I do know how to be innovative when necessary, so I stole used some of Utopia's empty turtle shells, some sticks and palm leaves, and composed my piece.


Hopefully it won't get me fed to the sharks...or worse.

Love and kisses,

Rainy Days and Mondays...

I have a pair of green flip-flops. I also have another pair of green flip-flops with tropical flowers on the insoles and "Corona" on the straps.

I left the house this morning wearing one of each.


It's gonna be a loooooong day.

***I totally stole this from Nat, because it made me laugh a whole bunch.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

A couple things...

TUNE IN tonight for an hour of classical, jazz, & easy listening with ME, only on Empire Radio.

Jeckles, I'm sorry, the Eminem song is too hard. I practiced it like thirty times and I just can't keep up with him.

Nat, thanks for the Missy Elliot suggestion. I don't know any of her music, but I think I can do reasonably well on the one you suggested.

I've decided to throw in a Blogathon bonus:
I told you that when I raised $700 in pledges that I'd sing a showtune.

Well, just to give you some incentive, for $600 in pledges I will sing "Hotel California" by the Eagles.


Thanks y'all. ;)

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Apparently I'm benevolent

I stole this from Chaz's place:

You can mouseover to see what the blocks mean.

HERE ARE my full results.
In case you want to see how I measure up against you.

That is all.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Can I get a YEEHAW! ??

Thanks to my most generous sponsors (check 'em all out over there in the sidebar), I have reached my first goal of $500 in pledges!

Now, I promised a White Girl Rap.
I'm deciding between Eminem and The Beastie Boys and maybe one or two others.
If there is a particular rap song you'd like to hear me screw up perform, I'll take it into consideration.

THANK YOU to everyone who made this possible.

Now, the next goal is $700, for which I will sing a showtune of some sort...perhaps from The Pajama Game or Chicago.

Go forth and spread the Blogathon word!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Okay, time to get pushy.

but first...

Don't you hate it when you open the peanut butter jar and the level of the peanut butter inside is so low that you can't scoop it with your finger and have to get a spoon instead? And then realize your spoons are all dirty, so you have to scoop it out with a fork?

Yeah, me too.


TOTAL SO FAR: $469.14


Now, wouldn't you like to have your name on the list with the other cool kids?? Of course you would. All you have to do is SPONSOR ME.

$469.14 is fabulous, and my charity and I are so very appreciative! But come on, we can do better than that, can't we? Together?
We're less than halfway to last year's total...and we haven't even hit my first goal of $500 yet. But I know we can do it! There's a White Girl Rap performed by ME in it for you! And plenty of other silly songs are just waiting to be butchered sung badly by me for your entertainment.

I challenge you to save $2 every single day from now until next Thursday...and then next Thursday pledge that money to me and the UCP.

How else can you help? You're ever so sweet to ask!! You can pimp me and my charity out on your blog. I know you've got some truly generous readers...could it hurt to send them my way? Because you know, that means I'm in your debt. *wink wink nudge nudge*

AND ALSO!! During the Blogathon I will be ON THE AIR for part of the time--and there will be PRIZE GIVEAWAYS! Yes, you heard me correctly. You know you want iTunes Gift Cards. You know you want...whatever else I find that I want to give away. You know you do.

So, to summarize:
Save $2 each day until next Thursday, then please PLEDGE THAT $$ TO MY CHARITY.

Give me some publicity on your blog.

See how easy?
I love you. Pass it on.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Mother Talk Review: Lost and Found

When I first heard the premise of the book "Lost and Found", I was delighted! See, it's about a fictional "Reality TV" show--very similar to The Amazing Race, but it includes a scavenger hunt. The two-person teams travel around the globe, finding clues and locating objects, then racing to the next point.

I am, admittedly, a 'reality' TV junkie. I like to watch those shows as long as I can...well, bond with a few of the people featured. I have to become interested in them, or their situations, before I can enjoy the show.

That's one of the reasons I loved this book; Carolyn Parkhurst takes the reader not only behind the scenes of a Reality TV show, but also gives a close up and personal look into the lives of the contestants, the host, AND the people responsible for the show--producers & camera-men included.

I rarely read the chapter titles when I read a book; however, it was a necessary thing in this particular case because each chapter was the voice of a different contestant.
And OH! The contestants! There was a mother-daughter team, an ex-gay married couple (and THAT was definitely a fascinating situation), a team of brothers, and high-school sweethearts reunited after many years.

I was drawn into the complex relationships--not just between the members of each team, but how they interacted all together. I became involved.

It is bittersweet, funny, sad, and lovely...and in my opinion gives a pretty accurate depiction of exactly how much 'reality' goes into a 'reality tv' show. Take a look to see why some contestants may be chosen and others passed over...I have no doubt that producers actually do delve that deeply into a person's background to find the ones that are likely to create the most drama.

Even were I not a fan of "Reality TV", I would highly recommend this book. Try it, you'll be entertained.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Why were you searching for that?

but first...
Missed my show last night? Download it RIGHT HERE.

And look at the sidebar...see how close I am to my first goal of $500 for the Blogathon??
There's a White Girl Rap on the line here, people. I'm thinking...Beastie Boys. Maybe.

Recent searches that have landed people here, for some strange reason:

"how do you forgive yourself for being a bitch to your ex boyfriend"
Hon, I haven't figured that one out yet. And maybe he deserved it anyways.

"cannabalism in the British Navy"
OH! I know this one! "There is no cannibalism in the British Navy, absolutely none, and by none I mean there is a certain amount." ~Sir John Cunningham (Monty Python)

"bend forward bitch"
Umm..you had to look that up? Actually it works better if you shut your pie hole & just bend me her over.

"Craig Ferguson Bumblebees"
Is that a new fan club? Because I'll join! He is my future ex-husband, after all.

"inventive name to call people when your piss"
When your piss what? Does it do a trick? Because COOL. Don't leave me hangin' like that!

I have recently developed a weird (yet intense) love for at least three of the young men from NickelBack, as well as their music.

I have no explanation for this aberrant behavior.

That is all.
Have a day.

How I Almost Had To Cut A Bitch

Yesterday I was so excited to find out that Harry Potter was showing at the drive-in movie! We love the drive-in; it's cheap (3 movies for $5), plus we can take our own drinks & popcorn.

Nancy Drew was the first movie...hated it.
Let me qualify that: I hated it as a Nancy Drew movie. Had they called it anything else it might've been fine...but this wasn't Nancy Drew. This was Harriet The Spy meets The Scooby Gang.

First of all, the kids all looked about 12 years old--barely. They made Nancy out as an unpopular, super-duper-nerd and a laughingstock...who was perfect in every other way. Knew all the answers in class, could run faster than anyone else...I would've hated her.
Ned Nickerson? He was sort of rude, incredibly dorky, and...well, needy and clingy, sort of. *shudder*
And the kid with the hair that looked like he had a dead animal on his head...let's not even go there.
The very VERY brief glimpse of Hannah Gruen, the housekeeper, showed her as fat and dumpy with a very heavy German accent.
TATE DONOVAN as CARSON DREW?? Oh dear. It was disastrous. He actually BRIBED Nancy to stop sleuthing!


Not that I have anything against the Modernization of Nancy (but I do, just a little bit)--I loved watching Pamela Sue Martin play Nancy Drew every week on TV, right before Shaun Cassidy & Parker Stevenson came on as The Hardy Boys.

But this Nancy? Who carried around a "kit" with Hannah's lemon bars, fingerprint powder and a NOTEBOOK THAT SAID CLUES ON THE COVER??? No. I have to draw the line.

and wasn't that a very nice line? ;) I think I'll draw another.

Then Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix.
It was a good movie. It wasn't make-you-jump-up-and-down-and-pee-your-pants good, but still.
If you haven't read the books, then some parts may seem a little like...disconnected scenes.
Then again, no-one has yet figured out how to cram a 900 page book into a REALLY GOOD two-hour movie--just ask Stephen King. That's why he mostly does mini-series now.

Speaking of Stephen King, the last movie of the night was 1408. It was pretty damn good--I'd read the story some time ago in the book Everything's Eventual. They CAN make a good movie from Stephen King's works...as long as the movie comes from a short story, then they're able to do it justice.

Plus? John Cusack. MMMMMM hmmmm.

Oh yeah, one more thing.
Becca & I were headed to the bathroom--usually there's a long line but this time there were just a few people milling around outside the door.
I politely asked the people standing around if they were in line before we went to the door.
IN the doorway was one of those gorgeous women you love to see: about 50, wearing a tight camisole and no bra so that you get treated to droopy boobs and rolls and rolls of fat, all clearly outlined. Add to that wide hips clad in low-rise pants, short-cropped dyed bright red hair, and some jailhouse tats and you'll get the picture.
So this...person...was standing right SMACK in the middle of the doorway talking to someone about some guy and how he kept rubbing her shoulders and saying "Oh yeah, baby, doesn't that feel good?" in a really loud voice...so I (again, politely) said, "Excuse me", since I could see that a number of stalls were empty.

She points her finger at me, says, "NO, excuse ME because I was in line here BEFORE YOU!"

I said, "Gee, that's funny, because it looked to me like you were having a conversation while your ass blocked the whole doorway."

She slammed into a stall & didn't come out until after I left.
I know, because I waited.

(did I mention there was NO LINE? And PLENTY OF EMPTY STALLS?)
(and that I HATE HATE HATE it when people point their fingers in my face?)

Tune in TONIGHT for an hour of classical, jazz, & easy listening with ME

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Thank You Notes.

My fab friend Jules made my ever-lovin' day:

I adore Jules--she's so very funny and warm, not to mention hospitable! She gives me a place to stay when I'm in her neck of the woods, and we drink a lot and laugh a lot and drunk call some of our friends. We go eat at the Best Chinese Food Restaurant Ever and enjoy the 'special guacamole'. :)

So thank you very much!! And right back atcha. Seriously, where did you find that old picture of me?
Love you bunches.

I would also like to thank another fab friend, MommaK, for the pretty pink button.
MommaK and I go way back (in blog-time, that is), and she was one of my very first favorites (and still is, I should add!). She's one of the very nicest people I know...and doesn't even smack me upside the head when I say something that comes out all wrong. For at least #1428 reasons (and probably even more), I love MommaK. A more wonderful and loyal friend doesn't exist.

Thanks, honey. I think you're the ginchiest. ;)

and a final thank you...

To all the oil and gas companies, I'd like to thank them for the lube-less anal rape over the last week. Before the Independence Day holiday, I paid $2.78 for gas.
July 5th? $3.11
Yesterday? $3.22

Burn in hell, greedy pig-dogs.

Thursday, July 12, 2007


Today is the first big Blogathon push for publicity.

First, two things for you to look at:
2006 Big-Ass List Of Sponsors
2006 Bribe Payoff Songs, including the infamous "White Girl Rap".

In case you hadn't heard yet, my Blogathon charity is United Cerebral Palsy. My son is severely affected by CP, so I can tell you from my own experience how wonderful UCP is.
They provide equipment such as wheelchairs and communication boards, along with many other types of assistive technology.
They also help provide services such as housing, therapy, assistive technology training, early intervention programs, individual and family support, social and recreation programs, community living, state and local referrals, employment assistance and advocacy.
My family and my son's school have reaped the benefits of the UCP commitment.

You should all know, if you're regular readers here, that I am not above begging and bribery. As I frequently mention on my radio show, I'm nothing more than a trained monkey here for your entertainment.

Now, my first goalpost is $500 in pledges, for which I will sing another "White Girl Rap".

How can YOU help?

I'm ever so glad you've asked!
It's simple.
1. SPONSOR ME! It takes only a few seconds to sign up with your email address--and don't worry, you won't get all spammed out.
Pledge now, pay later! If you can afford to pledge $5, then please pledge $5. If you can afford more...well, you get the idea.
AFTER I complete the Blogathon, you'll be sent a little email reminder. That's it. It's all on the honor system, baby. And I know you're honorable, or we wouldn't be friends, right? (you can also remain anonymous, if you like-drop me an email!)

2. YOU send your pledge $$ directly to the Charity! No middleman. No chance of misappropriated funds. You know how you have that "Donate" button on your blog, so your readers can give YOU money for...whatever? Latte? New shoes? Magazines? Here's your chance to do something really fantastic with that money.

3. GET THE WORD OUT! You love me, don't you? Yes, I thought that you did. Perhaps you could show the love by pimping me and my cause out on your blogs, because you have all those wonderful, generous readers. (and it doesn't cost you a single thing, PLUS it will earn you plenty of love and gratitude from moi)

4. PICK A CHARITY, ANY CHARITY! You don't want to sponsor me & my charity? That's A-OKAY!! There are dozens of fabulous bloggers out there raising money for other terrific charities! I'm sponsoring some of the other bloggers myself, because I believe in what we're doing. I believe that we can help. I believe that you can make a difference.

Now, to the begging:

Please please please consider sponsoring me in this great cause. Or at least consider sponsoring a blogger who's raising money for a charity that you're very interested in.
Please please please open your hearts, open your wallets, and make a difference in someone's life.
Pretty please?
With sugar on top?

AND you'll get your own nifty little spot over there on the sidebar! Where everyone will see you and say "HEY! What an incredibly generous fellow/lady!"

AND you can help yourself to one of these:

Srsly, does it get any better than that? I think not.

C'mon, you don't want to get shown up by last year's sponsors, do you?? :)

I love you.
Pass it on.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

SB Survivor Journal - Task Three Complete!

Dear Diary,

Mere words cannot convey the sheer suckage of this island.
I think Utopia ate one of her turtles...raw. *glurg*

I hurt my back, but I found that lying on the beach in the hot sun and sand makes it feel so much better, even though I've heard the others whispering about me just being lazy.

So, anyway, I finally was able to steal one of Rose's watermelons, which I desperately needed to complete this task...which was to carve a watermelon like you would carve a Halloween pumpkin, only it should have something to do with Shitty Blog Survivor.

I've never even carved a pumpkin.
And here on the island, tools (other than seashells) are scarce.

Speaking of seashells, the conch shell that Mango was pretending to use as an iPhone got broken when he dropped it on a tree stump.
He screamed something unintelligible as he brandished the broken pieces of shell at us, and we all had a good hearty laugh the moment his back was turned.

Anyway anyway anyway...I found an old rusty screwdriver (true story!) and a sharp piece of shell and set about attempting to carve my stolen watermelon...

Watermelon & Mango

Okay, so I couldn't figure out how to set the date on this cheap-ass camera.

Melon Mask

After I eat all the watermelon, I plan to wear this at night & sneak up on the others, jumping out at them from behind trees and such in hopes that I can make someone pee their pants. Because cool.

PLUS I found THIS:

Mango Mask

Evidently Mango's been trying to fit in a little more closely with cannibals...I can only hope he gets eaten up soon.


And a final message for Jeckles:

A personal message

Arrgh, how am I ever going to continue to survive on this island??
Help me. Please, help me.


Sunday, July 08, 2007

Sometimes inappropriate things are the funniest.

Okay, this video is just...wrong.
Didn't stop me from laughing like a moron, though.
The "I'm gonna smack you!" had me in tears.

The outtakes were pretty cute, too.

Don't forget to tune in TONIGHT at 10pm CENTRAL for an hour of classical, jazz, and easy listening. If you're lucky, I'll play Muskrat Love for you. Again. :D

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Going down in flames

I jumped the line in a funeral procession.
I'm pretty sure I'll be going to hell for that.

In my defense, it was a total accident. See, I was on the highway and I was in the far right lane, and the traffic was moving pretty slowly. I moved to the middle lane to get around the traffic (and MAN it was a looooooooong line), and then BOOM! there was my exit & I had to get over, so I cut in front of a slow moving old guy.
It was a gray sort of day, so I didn't think twice over the fact that he had his headlights on.

Then I got to the exit, and everyone was going right through the red light...with the aid of two motorcycle cops.


So I did what anyone would do...I stayed in the procession to avoid drawing attention to myself, right up until I was near my work and I found a side street down which I made a quick (and hopefully unobtrusive) turn.

I'm such an asshole.

and now, a big mess of crap:

I'd like to have a man who would dance with me in the living room.

And a man who can't get me out of his mind.

Naturally, I'd prefer it if they happened to be the same man, but at this stage of the game I can't be too picky.

I keep typing the word as 'blogSOT' today.
I think that means I need a drink.

My Grandma: "I'm so tired, I feel half-dead. I'm not worth anything."
ME: "I wouldn't say you're not worth anything. You've got big life insurance policies, right?"

I have no idea why my grandma doesn't like me.

I was chatting with my friend the other night and I wondered why all those people who have 'near-death' experiences talk about seeing the white light or their loved ones who've already died...evidently none of them have ever seen demons nor felt the heat of hellfire.
Is it because those guys don't get to come back from the 'near death'?
Or is it that they're too scared to say anything?
I was just wondering.

We have so many words in the English language...why do revolting and revolting have such different meanings?

Why am I even thinking about that?

Well, this was pretty cool:

Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

And this:
60% GeekMingle2 - Free Online Dating>

What, that's not enough crap?
That is all.
Have a day.

Friday, July 06, 2007

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of other things..." *sticky note, scroll down for new stuff*

Things such as...
Give us your money. Well, PLEDGE to give us your money, anyway.

BLOGATHON time approacheth--July 28th, to be exact.

That means it's time to empty those piggy banks, check under the sofa cushions, & give 'til it hurts.
Even if the pain starts at $5.00. Or $10.00. Or whatever you can afford to give.

It's not for me, no no no. This year, as last year, I'll be blogging for 24 hours straight--at 30 minute intervals--to raise $$ for United Cerebral Palsy.
In case you didn't know, that's one of the disabilities from which my son suffers.

I've already asked for your Opening Lines, and I could use more. So feel free to WOW me with your creativity (as I have none of my own).

Also, I have already offered up some bribes...and you know I NEVER EVER welsh. Right, Jeckles?

Pledges are being accepted now! Head on over to the Blogathon site and look for me on the BLOG LIST. Sponsor my ass.

Thank you. I love you. Pass it on.

It's Friday...you know what that means!

Tune in TOOOOOOONIGHT at 10pm EST for:
Excellent music of all kinds
Reality TV update
Your Horoscope
The Blogathon

Only on The Empire.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

SBC Survivor Journal--Day ????

"Why do you play stupid?"
"Because it's good cover for when I am stupid."

Dear Diary,

I've heard it being whispered around (behind my back, the dirty cowards) that I'm going crazy. The bumblebee said it to the coconut.


But some of these people are starting to really piss me off...like that rat bastard Mango.
Yeah, right, talk about crazy! He prances around with a conch shell pressed to his ear, telling us to shut up because he's talking on his fancy new iPhone.
(Then why doesn't he call for HELP, the jackass!)
Plus he made some disparaging remarks about Oklahomans...perhaps he forgot that THREE of the girls on this island (including myself) are Okies and we could totally beat the shit out of him and grind his bones to make our bread.



Oh, sorry, where was I?
Oh yeah, watermelons.
The next task is some ritualistic watermelon carving...I think Rose has found a stash of watermelons and she's trying to hide them under her shirt--she says that she's not hiding anything, her boobs just grew bigger due to the fresh air and saltwater.
If that's what it takes, how come mine aren't any bigger?

Speaking of saltwater, some of these people could benefit from a dip in the ocean, if you get what I mean. They're getting a little...ripe. *gag* It's what I imagine it would smell like if I visited a cave full of Sasquatch(es?).

And I'm a little bit pissed at Jeckles for voting off Mike in the last round, because he was THE ONLY SINGLE MAN here on this godforsaken island. I was planning to use him for sex. And, you know, to carry the heavy stuff. And do my tasks for me. Now THAT'S screwed. Thanks a heap.

Utopia's on a rampage about something or other--I hear the words 'sneak' and 'thief' and 'bagels' a lot...I've learned to tune her out & watch my back at the same time. Yummy's been quiet...TOO quiet. I find that frightening on many levels.

Tammy and Nat still seem to be handling things okay, but I don't trust them. They have sly, sneaky faces sometimes. I'm going to have to watch out for them.

I almost forgot about Chad, because he's been so quiet and unmoving in his little trench thingy. He might possibly be dead (judging from the smell), but I'm sure as hell not going to go over there and check.

Now I have to go tail Rose to see where those watermelons are coming from...


My future husband. AFTER I marry and divorce Craig Ferguson.

*dreamy sigh*
I love you, Captain Tightpants

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

How lucky can a girl get?

I've seen that pretty pink button around, but I didn't expect to find it here! But there you go, courtesy of two REALLY rockin' girl bloggers, Heather and Finn. To me, what makes this special is the giver(s).

Heather and I have often remarked that we share a brain; we're like two halves of a whole. Our minds seem to run parallel, and our wavelengths match more often than not. You know those stories about twins separated at birth, who grow up and have done all the same things and lived close to the same lives, without ever knowing each other? Yeah, we're kind of like that, only not in a creepy way. I love Heather. You will too, once you get to know her; she's much nicer than me.

And Finn? Oh, Finn. Were I man I would sweep her away into a torrid affair in some romantic setting, and I would have her write stories for me all day long and I would feed her grapes and wine. Beauty, incredible talent...an artist. I love Finn too.

It's always amazing to me--flattering too, yes--when one of these strong, fabulous, talented women offer an award to me...I feel like I'm in a different league (the MINOR minors, or something...what's below the farm team? Because that's the one I'm on). So thank you, thank you, Heather and Finn.

Now, evidently I'm to pass the pink rockin' torch to five others...this part always scares me, because I have to leave people out and I don't like to do that.
But away we go...
(I should note that I tried not to make any duplications)

*and you, yes YOU...you know who you are. I know you hate made-up awards, but I like them so SHUT UP and don't Steal My Sunshine. I say that with love. xoxox

Golfwidow. Her place is called The Ministry Of Silly Walks, and I am, after all, MONTY...how could we NOT go together like peas and carrots? Golfwidow makes me laugh all the time-more often than almost anyone, I think...and did I mention that she's got a great great podcast? No? Consider it mentioned. You're missing out if you don't visit Golfwidow.

Janet. Oooh, I'm a long-time fan of Janet's...she's one of the teacher-people that I wish my daughter could have as head of her class. She's clever, she knows more 80s trivia than even me (and believe me when I say that's somethin'), and she's funny too.
(you may begin to detect a pattern here with the funny stuff)
No schoolmarm she, but a dedicated, smart, multi-faceted woman.

Raehan. A long time staple of mine. Oooh, I love Rae with a deep and abiding passion. She's so many things I'm not...like cool and smooth and a great writer and brilliant and accomplished and many many many other things. Her writing style is like...cream and silk. I don't know how else to describe it. She's fabulous. FABULOUS. In my mind she's always the calmest and steadiest--I would want her with me in a crisis. Or just when I'm scared of the dark.

Thumper. OH, do I love Thumper. She REALLY rocks. Have I mentioned that she's PUBLISHED? And her books are MOST EXCELLENT? She's got such a sense of humor--sometimes it sneaks up on you & catches you off guard, so that you get those sneaky little laughs that bubble out unexpectedly. Thumper is strong and talented, and just an all around amazing gal. Her cats are pretty damn smart, too.

IcePrincezz. Another with whom I share a brain. I've just realized that that only leaves me with a third of a brain...oh well, probably more than I'll ever use anyway. I love IcePrincezz for many reasons--even though I wish she'd UPDATE HER DAMN BLOG MORE OFTEN. I guess I'm hoping this will sort of guilt her into it. Iceprincezz is...you know how sometimes you meet someone and hear that "CLICK" and you feel like you've known them forever and ever? Yeah, that's how it is with her. I treat her worse than family, and I like her ever so much better than them too. Plus she owns Empire Radio (and therefore my shows), so I have to be sort of a suck up. :D (just kiddin', you know I adore the pants off you!)

What are you people still doing here? Didn't I just give you five new rockin' girl bloggers to discover? Shoo!

That is all.
Have a day.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Mother Talk Blog Tour: 24-Hour Pharmacy

Is it wrong that my first thought upon receiving this was "Yay, FREE BOOK!"?
For the Mother Talk Blog Tour, I signed up to read The 24-Hour Pharmacist by Suzy Cohen, R.Ph. I was a little intimidated at first...but Dr. Suzy has made this easy to read, easy to understand, and even entertaining.

It's not intended to replace visits to your doctor--there are plenty of warnings about that very thing. But one of the nicest things is that it helps you identify individual symptoms and what you can do about them--withOUT just adding another prescription drug.

Just adjusting your diet the smallest bit and different vitamins can make a big difference in reducing fatigue and stress, mood swings, and just making you healthier all around.

I had NO idea that apple-cider vinegar was good for so many things...including dandruff. And snoring.
Don't like veggies? Did you know you can drink your greens?
Learn how easy it is to treat:

Help soothe your anxieties, lessen your hot flashes, and relax. Boost your mood, improve your circulation, rev your sex drive, and a thousand other tips to improve your quality of life.

The first chapter grabbed me right away, because I thought "That's me! And THAT'S me! And THAT'S me too!"
I wrote notes. I dog-eared pages. I even...highlighted. Yes, yes I did.
I'm a bit of a skeptic, so naturally I had to get some vitamins & give 'em a try.
Figured I'd start slow with Fish Oil & a Super B-Complex.

Surprisingly (to me, anyway), I'm feeling more energetic in the mornings--and getting up a little earlier too--instead of my usual lethargy, even after just a few days. Now, if I could just remember what herbs and foods may help improve my memory...

I love Suzy Cohen and the 24-Hour Pharmacist. One of the other great things is that she included information on where you'd most likely find certain things-health food stores, drugstores-and even more importantly, the cost range.

You should buy two copies of this book...one for you, one for the friend or relative with the menopause. Or one for you and one for the friend or relative who's tired and cranky all the time. Or one for anyone in your life that you want to help be healthier.

Plenty of information to keep you healthy, right at your fingertips.
Now, I'm off to try something for these mood swings...