A Summer Affair - Hubba Hubba!

Hooray! It's been awhile since I've been able to do a book review for MotherTalk, so I was happy to be included on this tour.

Since the title sort of gives it away, I don't think it's a spoiler when I tell you that A Summer Affair by NY Times bestselling author Elin Hilderbrand is about exactly that very thing.

I'm actually of two minds about this book - and keep in mind this is ALL ABOUT MY PERSONAL TASTES. 'Kay?

Claire is really the central figure - a professional & renown glassblower who's sort of given up her career for her family - she didn't want to miss anything in her kids' growing up years. Her husband is successful (but sort of a jerk - like the boys in high school used to act), they have a relatively happy and secure family unit. Claire's best friend is married to her (Claire's, that is) brother-in-law, they have a nice life on Nantucket Island.

There is drama. There is romance. There is hot steamy sex (on tables, even!). There is -you guessed it - a summer affair.
Yeah, baby.

A Summer Affair is well written and engaging... I won't say I couldn't put it down -- but it was definitely entertaining.

The problem I had was that to me, none of the characters were really very likeable. What I mean is that Claire seemed weak and easily swayed, and in my eyes she seemed to be portrayed as a ...victim. Or martyr, maybe. You know, giving up the successful & lucrative career to be with the kids, being unappreciated, boo hoo.
I guess she is a little like me: I tend to feel guilty over things all the time, whether the things were really my fault or not, like Claire's guilt over not doing ENOUGH to keep a friend from driving drunk resulted in an accident - for which Claire feels responsible.

And her best friend? DID.NOT.LIKE. She was a judgmental hypocrite & something of a control freak, I think.

The husband? Every guy I dated in college.

If those were the impressions that I was meant to get - then the author was completely successful in portraying her characters! I guess I just prefer a stronger central figure. JUST MY TASTE, OKAY?
I know that many people will strongly identify with the characters - it's a real-life situation with some real-life issues and problems.



And just because I didn't find the characters likeable doesn't mean that I didn't like the book.
It's PERFECT for a day at the beach.

Wanna know who has the affair? If they fall in love, run away and live happily ever after? Or not?
Go get your own copy, because everyone knows that I'll lend you my toothbrush, my kids, even my underpants...but never my books.

A review for a book that hit me where I live.

First, a confession: When Mother Talk offered "A Road Map To Holland" by Jennifer Graf Groneberg up for review, my first thought was "Aha! I want to be on this book tour - I'll be able to relate."

When the book arrived, however, I had misgivings. I wondered how it might affect me emotionally. Well, typically I like to be affected emotionally by the books that I read, but I worried that it might be a bit too much. But I'm generally pretty comfortable discussing the circumstances of my own children's premature birth, so I dove in.

And wept my way through the entire book.

Five days after the premature birth of the author's twins, one of them was diagnosed with Down Syndrome.
It plunged me right back there, thirteen years ago in the NICU...feeling the same fears and heavy guilt and grief and helplessness and the ever-present "It's NOT FAIR!".
Struggles with disrespectful and uncaring doctors and nurses, with friends who turn away, with the TELLING of the news...and the love and support from so many unexpected sources.

---

"I hate my weakness. I hate my fear. I hate my selfishness. I hate the NICU, and the cheery nurses in bright colorful caps. I hate the niceties, every 'Good morning!' and 'You look wonderful!' and the standard response to any question about the babies: 'They're doing great!' As if I can't see the state of affairs clearly, as if I'm a child that needs to be handled, or an imbecile."

I also spent some time angry at the author for some of her feelings, only underneath it wasn't really anger, it was shame - because some of those same thoughts could've come right out of my head. Like wanting to run away, or stick my head in the sand, or just...not deal with anything.

---

"Breathe, baby, breathe."
"Please, baby, please. Please, come back to me."

People ask, "Hoping for a girl or a boy?" and we reply, "Doesn't matter, as long as Baby is healthy!"
But what if Baby (or in my case - and the author's, BABIES) is NOT healthy? Does that mean you don't have to step up to the plate and parent? Is that a deal-breaker?
No, of course not.
If I'd have ever been pregnant again, my answer would've been "Doesn't matter, as long as Baby is alive."

---

"I haven't held the twins. I've barely even seen them."

Jennifer's twins were born several weeks early, by C-Section. It was difficult, having them whisked away to NICU immediately. No cuddling, no bonding, no shared happy tears. Only the vague nausea from the anesthesia, the sort of...emptiness and sadness, the feeling that something is off.

---

"While we were waiting, a nurse I had never seen before comes up to me. 'I wanted to tell you,' she says, 'that there's a waiting list for babies like yours. People waiting in line to adopt them.'"

Jennifer Graf Groneberg takes us through her spectrum of overwhelming emotions, being brutally honest about her reactions and thoughts. Courage is something she doesn't appear to lack, because it's hard to admit to some of those feelings. It's shameful to admit when you think of just running away, or consider (however briefly) letting someone more "qualified" have your baby.

---

Man, this is hard.

---

Jennifer brings you into her life, on the journey from birth to the NICU through the first couple of years...and it's a heartbreaking and beautiful story.

Whether you have children or not, whether they're disabled in some way or not, read this book.
At the very least, it will help promote understanding, especially if you're faced with a situation in which you don't know what to say or how to be a friend to someone with disabled children.
READ IT.
You'll thank me later, I promise.

---

"Emily Perl Kingsley is a mother of a son with Down syndrome. She's often asked to describe the experience...help others imagine how it would feel.
It's like this, she says: expecting a baby is like planning a fabulous trip. Everyone you know, including you, is planning to go to Italy. But after months of eager anticipation, you get the news that your arrangements have changed. You still go on a trip, but not to Italy. The place you're in isn't a bad place, it's just different. Slower-paced. Less flashy. Instead of Italy, you're in Holland. She continues the metaphor, allowing for the disappointment of missing out on Italy, like everyone else. But still, she says, once you get acclimated, you might find there is much that is good about Holland."


I live in "Holland" now, and there's no place I'd rather be.

MotherTalk Book Review - The Thirteenth Tale

"A good story is always more dazzling than a broken piece of truth." Vida Winter

When I was given a brief synopsis of this book, The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield, I immediately signed on; it sounded right up my alley.

It's a story about a story, filled with half-truths, secrets, mysteries and scandal. LOTS of scandal. Definitely my kind of book.

Conjoined twins, feral twins, death and sex and murder and mysterious disappearances, twisted love and even a smidge of romance.

We have a young bookish girl who works in her father's bookshop and a reclusive, elderly author of 'popular fiction'.
The author, Vida, has kept her past vague and mostly hidden...but as she comes to the end of her life she decides, once and for all, to bring forth the truth--but in her own way. Vida chooses Margaret Lea (who has no particular fame other than a well-researched, well-written biographical essay) to record Vida's life story. As Margaret hears the story, her own story becomes entwined with Vida's life.

There are twists and turns around every corner, with a hint of goth and a taste of otherworldliness--this was the perfect book with which to lie a-bed on a rainy evening with a cup of hot chocolate.

I think I put the book down once...because I had to pee. This book captured my imagination right away and sucked me right down into the story and didn't let go until the end (which, I should add, was great--you know how I like all the ends tied up neatly so THIS was quite satisfactory).

Really, I wish I could tell you more...and let's face it, I could if I really wanted to...but I won't. READ IT.

Before I got the book I read this description: "...tinged with the eeriness of Rebecca and the willfulness of Jane Eyre" and I sort of agree, but in my opinion, the language of the book put me in mind of Barbara Michaels or--even better!--Phyllis A. Whitney. Yeah, it sort of had that Phyllis feel to it.
Did you know how much I love Phyllis A. Whitney? A lot.

Anyway.
Don't take my word for it, read it yourself. And check out the interactive website right here.

Besides, in a couple of weeks there won't be any new episodes of your favorite TV shows for awhile and you'll need new books to read.
Make The Thirteenth Tale one of them.

Mother Talk Blog Tour: 24-Hour Pharmacy

Is it wrong that my first thought upon receiving this was "Yay, FREE BOOK!"?
For the Mother Talk Blog Tour, I signed up to read The 24-Hour Pharmacist by Suzy Cohen, R.Ph. I was a little intimidated at first...but Dr. Suzy has made this easy to read, easy to understand, and even entertaining.

It's not intended to replace visits to your doctor--there are plenty of warnings about that very thing. But one of the nicest things is that it helps you identify individual symptoms and what you can do about them--withOUT just adding another prescription drug.

Just adjusting your diet the smallest bit and different vitamins can make a big difference in reducing fatigue and stress, mood swings, and just making you healthier all around.

I had NO idea that apple-cider vinegar was good for so many things...including dandruff. And snoring.
Don't like veggies? Did you know you can drink your greens?
Learn how easy it is to treat:
PMS
Bloating
Heartburn
Insomnia

Help soothe your anxieties, lessen your hot flashes, and relax. Boost your mood, improve your circulation, rev your sex drive, and a thousand other tips to improve your quality of life.

The first chapter grabbed me right away, because I thought "That's me! And THAT'S me! And THAT'S me too!"
I wrote notes. I dog-eared pages. I even...highlighted. Yes, yes I did.
I'm a bit of a skeptic, so naturally I had to get some vitamins & give 'em a try.
Figured I'd start slow with Fish Oil & a Super B-Complex.

Surprisingly (to me, anyway), I'm feeling more energetic in the mornings--and getting up a little earlier too--instead of my usual lethargy, even after just a few days. Now, if I could just remember what herbs and foods may help improve my memory...

I love Suzy Cohen and the 24-Hour Pharmacist. One of the other great things is that she included information on where you'd most likely find certain things-health food stores, drugstores-and even more importantly, the cost range.

You should buy two copies of this book...one for you, one for the friend or relative with the menopause. Or one for you and one for the friend or relative who's tired and cranky all the time. Or one for anyone in your life that you want to help be healthier.

Plenty of information to keep you healthy, right at your fingertips.
Now, I'm off to try something for these mood swings...