Sunday, July 15, 2007

How I Almost Had To Cut A Bitch

Yesterday I was so excited to find out that Harry Potter was showing at the drive-in movie! We love the drive-in; it's cheap (3 movies for $5), plus we can take our own drinks & popcorn.

Nancy Drew was the first movie...hated it.
Let me qualify that: I hated it as a Nancy Drew movie. Had they called it anything else it might've been fine...but this wasn't Nancy Drew. This was Harriet The Spy meets The Scooby Gang.

First of all, the kids all looked about 12 years old--barely. They made Nancy out as an unpopular, super-duper-nerd and a laughingstock...who was perfect in every other way. Knew all the answers in class, could run faster than anyone else...I would've hated her.
Ned Nickerson? He was sort of rude, incredibly dorky, and...well, needy and clingy, sort of. *shudder*
And the kid with the hair that looked like he had a dead animal on his head...let's not even go there.
The very VERY brief glimpse of Hannah Gruen, the housekeeper, showed her as fat and dumpy with a very heavy German accent.
TATE DONOVAN as CARSON DREW?? Oh dear. It was disastrous. He actually BRIBED Nancy to stop sleuthing!

ALL WRONG. WRONG!!!

Not that I have anything against the Modernization of Nancy (but I do, just a little bit)--I loved watching Pamela Sue Martin play Nancy Drew every week on TV, right before Shaun Cassidy & Parker Stevenson came on as The Hardy Boys.

But this Nancy? Who carried around a "kit" with Hannah's lemon bars, fingerprint powder and a NOTEBOOK THAT SAID CLUES ON THE COVER??? No. I have to draw the line.


and wasn't that a very nice line? ;) I think I'll draw another.


Then Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix.
It was a good movie. It wasn't make-you-jump-up-and-down-and-pee-your-pants good, but still.
If you haven't read the books, then some parts may seem a little like...disconnected scenes.
Then again, no-one has yet figured out how to cram a 900 page book into a REALLY GOOD two-hour movie--just ask Stephen King. That's why he mostly does mini-series now.


Speaking of Stephen King, the last movie of the night was 1408. It was pretty damn good--I'd read the story some time ago in the book Everything's Eventual. They CAN make a good movie from Stephen King's works...as long as the movie comes from a short story, then they're able to do it justice.

Plus? John Cusack. MMMMMM hmmmm.


Oh yeah, one more thing.
Becca & I were headed to the bathroom--usually there's a long line but this time there were just a few people milling around outside the door.
I politely asked the people standing around if they were in line before we went to the door.
IN the doorway was one of those gorgeous women you love to see: about 50, wearing a tight camisole and no bra so that you get treated to droopy boobs and rolls and rolls of fat, all clearly outlined. Add to that wide hips clad in low-rise pants, short-cropped dyed bright red hair, and some jailhouse tats and you'll get the picture.
So this...person...was standing right SMACK in the middle of the doorway talking to someone about some guy and how he kept rubbing her shoulders and saying "Oh yeah, baby, doesn't that feel good?" in a really loud voice...so I (again, politely) said, "Excuse me", since I could see that a number of stalls were empty.

She points her finger at me, says, "NO, excuse ME because I was in line here BEFORE YOU!"

I said, "Gee, that's funny, because it looked to me like you were having a conversation while your ass blocked the whole doorway."

She slammed into a stall & didn't come out until after I left.
I know, because I waited.

(did I mention there was NO LINE? And PLENTY OF EMPTY STALLS?)
(and that I HATE HATE HATE it when people point their fingers in my face?)


Tune in TONIGHT for an hour of classical, jazz, & easy listening with ME
only on EMPIRE RADIO.
Post a Comment