Trick or Treat!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN
from
Pierre Hamel of the '75 OKC Blazers and pre-Kotter Gabe Kaplan.




(okay, it was my brother and me, but you see the resemblances, right?)

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In this particular costume, I knocked on my grandma's door, my uncle answered--and didn't recognize me. I duly reported back to my mother that "Uncle Terry didn't know" who I was, so she sent me back and I just walked right in the house. My uncle hollered for his mom (my grandma) and Grandma proceeded to lecture me on the impropriety, bad manners, and dangers of walking into a stranger's house.

At that point I believe I started giggling...and then the jig was up.
We still make fun of Grandma for that...and for many, many other things.

I have no idea why Grandma doesn't like me.

I am the Best.Aunt.Ever.

Is it wrong for me to teach my baby niece how to say red rum and do that little finger thing like the kid in The Shining?

Nah.

Monday discoveries and odd things

Remember that time I told you that I buy toilet paper every time I go to the store? (and coincidentally, when I went to look up that post I discovered that I wrote it 2 years ago today! How odd!)
In addition to that weirdness, I must confess that I buy deodorant every time it's on sale, no matter how much I already have at home. And then? When it gets low (not empty-I never use it all the way down!) I do NOT throw it away, I put it in the medicine cabinet "just in case".
In case of what? Nuclear war in which all the deodorant factories are vaporized?

My family will be the sweetest smellin', gaaahRONteed.

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I discovered today that it appears I've broken my previous record in the sport of How Long Can I Go Without Shaving My Legs?

Go me!

I've decided to make cornrows. With beads.

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Also, I discovered that it's not much fun to play pick-up-the-soap when you're showering alone.

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Surely one has nothing to do with the other.
Surely.

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That is all.
Have a day.

Maybe yes, maybe no...

I've been considering it for quite some time, but I keep forgetting to ask you about it.
Jeckles was a guest on my show quite some time ago, and it was great fun.

I'm thinking of making it a semi-regular thing--guest spots, I mean to say.
You interested in a guest spot/interview?
It'll be fun...and we can make fun of the people in the chat room, which is always a good time.

Let me know if you're up for a good time.

The HELL?

How could I possibly have lost the USB cord for my scanner?
It's gone, gone, gone I tell you.
Dammit.

Word Picture Sunday

(Don't forget to download or listen to the Halloween show!)

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Unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!

The rules are quite simple:
1. Pick a name from your blogroll
2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person
3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.
4. Post the blog, word, and picture.

See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.

*Side benefit: I'm cleaning up my blogroll...I didn't realize how many mislabeled and old links I had in there.

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This week's featured blogger: Finn from A Life Less Ordinary.

This is but one of the many words that describe Finn:

Evocative
(because I couldn't find an image for kick-your-dick-up hot)



In this case, I think the picture captures it better than words ever could.

Is it live or is it Memorex?

just in case you missed the (fabulous, fun, spooky Halloween) show:

In The Abstract

but first..
TUNE IN tonight at 9pm Central (10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific) for Halloween Fun with Monty!

Two hours of...stuff.
CHAT ROOM will be open!
Only on EMPIRE RADIO.

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Did you ever have so much stuff crammed into your head that, when you look in the mirror, you expect to see lines of text trickling from your ears?

Or is that just me?

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Are you ever so confused that, if you were drawn as a cartoon, your thought bubbles would look like a Pollack painting?

Or is that just me?

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After more than 10 years of internet usage, I'm astounded (not really) to find that I still cannot properly set up Outlook Express. I do not understand how to make it work.

Is it just me?

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That is all.
Have a day.

whoops.

It occurs to me that I have yet to pay off the rest of my blogathon bribes.
I'll try to do them this weekend--I'm fairly certain I know which showtune I'll be singing.

It's a surprise.

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MAKE PLANS NOW to tune in to my show tomorrow night (Friday) at 9pm Central (10pm Eastern)--it might be SPOOOOOOKY.

Two hours of fun. And stuff.

JOIN THE EMPIRE.

If you don't, then you are the suck.
You don't want to be the suck, do you? I thought not.

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OH YEAH.
Monday?
That was my wedding day, in nineteen and eighty-eight.
Ten twenty-two eighty-eight.
The marriage sucked ass, but the wedding was pretty fun.

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And P.S. don't make fun of the hat. It was the 80s, for crap's sake.

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P.P.S. Okay, you can make fun of the hat.

Morbidity

These are uncomfortable thoughts to have in my head; even more uncomfortable to discuss, but I have to dump them somewhere. It's perilously close to whining--can't help that, it is what it is.

See, I have marquees in my head. Always scrolling along the back of my brain, mostly quiet but always there. They're like black electronic boards with bright white thoughts playing and replaying endlessly. Do you have those?

I can't help what I think about. I have yet to master the art of shutting some thoughts out of my head. These particular uncomfortabilities (no, I don't think that's really a word, but I don't care) are abhorrent to some people...they say things like oh, you musn't think that way! and dearie me, how can you have such dark thoughts! and be positive! Think happy thoughts!
Easier said than done, pal, especially when a person has a low 'cheeriness' threshold and a high bitch factor.

My marquees are stacked three high, with their disturbing messages that I can usually ignore to some extent, but I can't make them not be there.

I do not want to outlive my children.
But I do not want my daughter to be the one to find me when I die.
And what will happen to my son? Will his father put him in a home, an institution?

I want to see my children grow up, but I want to die long before either of them--which tears me, because my son's "life-span" will most likely be shortened due to his extreme disabilities. Living with that knowledge...well, it hurts every day. Don't get me wrong, I never stop hoping and praying and believing...but still.

I want my children to live long, healthy, happy lives...I want to be around to see it happen.

Then I think horrible, horrible things like--what if I die while the kids are at school? And my daughter is waiting and waiting for me to pick her up and I never show? And the bus comes with my son and no-one exits the house to get him?
What if my daughter is at her father's or her grandma's for the weekend and I'm home alone with my son when it happens? No one would know ALL WEEKEND.

Yes yes yes, I know how stupid it is to play the 'what if' game. I know. I get it.
Doesn't stop me from doing it, though. So no need to lecture me, okay?

I know lots of parents have sort of the same fears and concerns. I wonder if mine are more...developed...because I'm just one parent and there is no Hubby Dear to cover for me. I wonder if other single parents have these things on their minds all the time. The thoughts get especially loud whenever I have a pain in my chest or a weird, abnormal ache somewhere it shouldn't be.

Scary.

Word Picture Sunday

but first...
Please go wish my friend Alala a very happy birthday!

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Time to play! Unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!

The rules are quite simple:
1. Pick a name from your blogroll
2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person
3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.
4. Post the blog, word, and picture.

See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.

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This week's feature: Raehan from Stammtisch.
(I know, that seems out of alphabetical order, but I still have her listed as "Agog and Aghast" in my blogroll)

The word I chose for her is Nurture, because that's what she does in so many ways for so many people.


Who's YOUR pick today?

one more little thing...

It's FRIDAY! TUNE IN tonight at 9pm Central for Friday Night Live with Monty!
Chat room will be open.
Join us. Or may the bird of paradise fly up your nose.

MotherTalk Review - The Reincarnationist

I have to start with this: strictly speaking, I don't believe in reincarnation. I am, however, open-minded enough to allow that it is not outside the realm of possibility. It's like I tell my non-believing friends when we discuss religion, God, Jesus...I guess we'll find out which of us was right when we die.
Simple as that.
Whether you are a 'reincarnationist' yourself or not, I think you'd enjoy this book: The Reincarnationist, by MJ Rose.

Josh -- a normal guy, a photographer -- survives a severe injury and begins to have barely controlled lurches in his memory, taking him to ancient Rome during the time of the Vestal Virgins as well as 19th Century New York.
Josh discovers that, through his camera's viewfinder, some people have halos, or auras, that cannot be captured on film...he thinks that perhaps these are the old souls in the new bodies. He finds connections (past and present), questions, adventure, and considerable danger--it's quite twisty-turny and exciting!

One particular idea that I found intriguing was that children in some other countries are believed when they have "memories" of past lives, but here in the You Ess Of Aaay we treat the kids as though they're pretending, or playing with imaginary friends. Maybe they are...but...what if???

The book is, in large part, about seeking answers. It also made me stop and think about certain things, like those times when you feel a strong sense of deja vu or when you feel a current of connection between yourself and someone that you've just met--you know, when you can almost hear the 'click'. It made me wonder, just a teeny bit, if I met you in person today...would I see my past in your eyes? Our past? What would you see in mine?

Whether or not I believe, the idea of reincarnation is a very interesting subject about which to think.

The transitions between the present and the past were easy to follow, for the most part--my problem is that I get caught up in that particular time in the story, and it takes me a second to make the switch when it happens. All in all, this book was engaging and excellently written--although I must say that the ending was a bit too abrupt for my personal taste...but then I like every single thread wrapped up in a nice tidy bow and that doesn't always happen.
Just like real life.

You know...

It's a damn shame that Child Protective Services is not nearly as diligent in protecting children as the animal rescue group that made Ellen Degeneres cry is about protecting pets.

Yes, I realize that many, many wonderful and caring people work for CPS or DHS or whatever initials you're familiar with...but when little babies in my state are taken from abusive parents and then HANDED BACK to the abusive parents so that they're beaten even more until they ARE KILLED...then yeah, that's a problem. I know that many of the Child Welfare counselors are seriously overworked, overstressed, and WAY underpaid. I'm pointing a finger at the system as a whole.

Apparently we care more about our pets than our children. Nice.

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And a P.S. to the animal rescue group--enjoy your bad press. You made Ellen cry, for crap's sake.

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P.P.S. I love Ellen.

Why you shouldn't trade exclusively on your looks

I went next door for dinner last night and my mother(!!)--reality TV hater--was watching Beauty and the Geek.
The host was telling the couples about their next challenge when one of the "beauties" said, "What's arithmetic?".

During the selection process, the potential beauties were asked what they thought their I.Q. was. Answers varied from 2.0 to 24 to "what does that mean?"

I am no longer worried that my daughter is going to flunk out of school for forgetting to turn in her completed homework.

Pity, party of one

I.Cannot.Cope.

Word Picture Sunday

In the interest of reviving the dead...

If you've been coming here for a very long time, you may remember a picture game I used to play. It was a fun game and I've decided to zombify it; that is, bring it back to life.

The rules are quite simple:
1. Pick a name from your blogroll
2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person
3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.
4. Post the blog, word, and picture.

See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.

I plan to start at the beginning and go straight on to the end. And maybe start over.

So, wanna play with me?

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Beginning at the beginning...

My pal Mike from A Day In The Life Of A Single Father.

COMPASSIONATE



Who'll be your first pick? I can't wait to see it!

In which I give WAY TMI

My daughter just became a woman.

Why do I feel like I want to cry?

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And PS she'd kill me if she knew I said anything about it, so keep it on the DL.

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PPS: I should clarify...no, she did not have sex. She's 12. It was the other thing.

Your Reminder *DING DING*

It's Friday night and you know what that means...
Friday Night Live with Monty!
9pm Central. 10pm Eastern. 7pm Pacific.

ONLY ON EMPIRE RADIO.

Plus:
Reality TV update
Hey baby, what's your sign?
The best mix of music on the 'net
and
Me.

Listen while you surf p0rn, listen while you write tomorrow's Pay Per Post.

Chat Room will be open!

FABulous!

For some reason, the lovely and talented and most excellent Wander is totally deluded thinks I'm fabulous and handed me one of these:



The rules (ALWAYS THE RULES! I'm a REBEL, don't you understand me at all??) are the usual: Pass it on to some other fabulous folks.
So without further ado (no, adieu means goodbye, which really doesn't make sense in this context unless I'm like...leaving you right now):

My Fabulous People (oh hell, you're ALL fabulous! But I have to put some names down-them's the rules)

Mr. Fabulous hisself! (yes, I know I put 'hisself'. It was on purpose. Work with me, people)

Simply Sassy really is simply sassy and I love her! See if y'all can get her to make me a quilt. They're AWESOME.

My darling, oh-so-sweet Raggedy One. You want to see a strong person, visit Raggedy. She da bom. An' stuff.

The talented and gorgeous Elle. She's had a tough row to ho hoe lately, but she's coming back better than ever.

and finally

One of the most fabulous people I know, Michele. Half of my blogfriends I've met over at Michele's place, and she is ever gracious and elegant and kind.

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Thank you, Wander! And right back atcha, baby.

Chewing holes in my tongue. Or fingers. Whatevs.

So, you know how sometimes you really really want to say (write) something, but you exert massive self-control and somehow manage to keep it in because you know it would sound hurtfully mean to at least two or three people?

The dam is cracked, but still holding.
Barely.

(I was going to use a whole analogy about a finger in a dyke, but that was just too easy)

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*crack*
I canNOT believe you're playing that card...AGAIN.

Why does this stuff make me LAFF SO MUCH?

Regarding her TWO MONTH DETOXIFICATION in a Utah rehab center, Lindsay Lohan said, "It was a sobering experience."

OH.EM.GEE.

Tell It To Me Tuesday

I decided to play along with Janet's Tell It To Me Tuesday this week:

"What are your favorite hair band songs of all time and why?"

Having been a teenager in the 80s, I grew up lovin' the Big Hair bands and the Metal Hair Bands...my criteria for favorite is simple: Did I love it then? Do I love it now?
I'll try to cull it down to the top five, in no particular order.

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1. There's No One Like You - The Scorpions. It's a ballad but not quite a ballad, and back then it perfectly described my feelings toward my boyfriend. I still love the words today..."I just wanna be loved by you..."

2. Wait - White Lion. Hearing the song today is the same as it was then: "WAIT. I never had a chance to love you." "I must know the reason why we say goodbye." Slow down & gimme another chance, okay???

3. Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi. What favorite song list of any kind would be complete without Bon Jovi? This song used to touch my almost-a-woman heart, reinforcing the belief that if you stick it out through the tough times, love could conquer all.
I've learned better since then, but I still love the song.

4. Love Bites - Def Leppard. Seriously, what better song to sing out at the top of your lungs after you've had your heart broken? These days I'd lean more toward Laura Branigan if that happens, but I've no doubt this one would make the playlist too.

5. Home Sweet Home - Motley Crue. I just love this song, then and now. It's got a good sound, different from what I was used to from Motley Crue...there's no particular reason, I just dig it.

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I have a zillion more favorites, but some of 'em just didn't QUITE qualify as "hair bands" to me--more like pop rock...like Loverboy, REO Speedwagon, etc etc.

Now, your turn. Drop me a comment letting me know you played, then run over to Janet's and do the same.

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And PS: Seriously, stop stealing my stuff. At least ASK first. I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME.

A remembered conversation

Gigi: "I get 'Will' for William and even 'Bob' for Robert...but how do you get 'Dick' out of Richard?"

Me: "I don't know...but I heard Jenny got some out of him last week. *giggle*"

Okay, it was funny when we were in high school.

Proof positive that you should be tuning in on Friday nights

<---Lookie what I got! Thank you, thank you to everyone who voted for me! I also got the Runner-Up nod for Best Humor Blog, but Redneck Diva (a personal favorite of mine!)(see what good blog taste I have?) won instead--CONGRATS KRISTEN!

**note to self: find someone to...disappear...Redneck Diva before next year's competition

I also want to say a special CONGRATS to another personal favorite: Brian from Audience Of One won the award for Best Writing--it's well deserved.

CONGRATS to all the other winners...you can find the complete list right here. And HUGE thanks to Mike at OkieDoke for going to the trouble of making sure we Okie Bloggers have a chance to get together and have some fun, as well as coordinating the awards. Our little blogging community here is growing and growing!

The Okie Blogger Round-Up happened last night in T-Town; I was sad that I was unable to make it so I didn't get to spend time with some of my favorite people. I hear that it was a pretty fun time--now people, I expect to see some pictures! Preferably the kind a person could use for...well, blackmail is such an ugly word...

video

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-3602bc3bf648137b9614e657abcc6638}

The MUST-SEE Movie of 2007!!

"The EMPIRE RADIO GANG Goes To Math Camp"
(alternately titled: "Iceprincezz Does Calculus In The Buff")

**if for some reason the video doesn't play, hit the SHARE button & email it to yourself. You really have to see this.


Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

*sigh*

It occurred to me today that I am now too old to be the young half of a May-December romance.

An October-December romance, though...maybe I could still pull that off.

Goin' all Hollywood and stuff

Quote of the day:

"It's not a lie, it's a gift for fiction." ~~William H. Macy, State And Main

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Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) and I have the same initials.
Which is very cool.

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Ashley Judd and I have the same exact birthday.
Which is also very cool.

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Speaking of celebrities, four of the most brilliantly clever writers known to man:
David Mamet
Joss Whedon
Christopher Guest
and Bryan Fuller.

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That is all.
Have a day.

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OH and PS stop stealing my stuff. Except for, you know, Memes. Those are allowed.
You know who you are.

Time for the PERFECT POST AWARDS!

As many of you know, each month Kim and Lindsay host the Original Perfect Post Awards.




Over the last few months I've not had much time for blogreading--and I especially haven't had time to search out any new-to-me blogs. But late last night (on a commercial during the original Star Trek) I followed a link and found this post:

Blogging For A[buse] Cause on Trenting Dot Com.

This particular post hit me where I live, since I can personally relate to parts of one of the stories.

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Sept 23rd
I forgot to get Alex's beer tonight, but he said he would forgive me if I would have sex with him I am so proud to have a husband that still feels attracted to me.

Sept 25th
I embarrassed Alex in front of the neighbors last night, he reprimanded me by giving me a little smack across the cheek, I should not have made him feel humiliated in front of company, and I really deserved it.

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Oh. That hurt my heart. I've been exactly in that spot, and I know that some of you have as well. Maybe someone who is trapped in the way we used to be trapped will read it and find a hand outstretched to help them. Go read it. It's disturbing and sad and hurtful and angry-making and all too common.