Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year or Whatever.

It's 2010. (well, in Australia. We still have a few more hours of CrapFest '09 left here in the You Ess of Ayyyyyyyyy)

Hip hip hooray.

My New Year SUGGESTIONS:

1. I am going to be way less tolerant of bullshit.

2. Yeah, that's it. That's all I've got.


UPDATE:

I am adding two suggestions that I have stolen from Finn and Domestic Spaz:

3. "My resolution? To change. Something. Doesn't have to be a positive change, just a change. Maybe my underwear." (see, now THAT I can do. Or I could if I wore underwear)

4. "My resolution is to drink more and clean less." (THAT is what I'm talkin' about, sister! Real change, reachable goals. KUDOS)


Really, who says resolutions have to be about a bunch of improvement crap?
Because let's face it, I'm 41 years old and it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that I am going to change after all this time.
I'd much rather be reasonable and create attainable goals.
I do not WANT to be all perky and trilly and full of "positivity" (which, BY THE WAY, is a really stupid word) all the time. IT ISN'T NATURAL.
Some of us were put on the earth to balance out you weirdo freaks.
Like me.
So, you know, fuck off and stuff.


Truthfully 2009 was a fairly well-balanced year for me... a LOT of bad (and by "bad" I mean HIGHLY INCONVENIENT and sometimes PAINFUL and BULLSHITTY) stuff happened in 2009... my dryer went out and my car gave up the ghost and for awhile it was one drama after another...

But that yin was yanged by TRUE FRIENDS who were not only emotionally supportive (and enabling, THANK GOD! because I need to be enabled), they put their little pointed heads together and helped me get a new dryer and new car and new-to-me furniture and a million other little things.
They helped me get to BlogHer and I got to spend a weekend with four of my very best people in the world.
Two of my very best people came across the country AND INTERNATIONALLY to spend the weekend AT MY HOUSE.

So I guess 2009 wasn't a total disaster. It had many moments of true greatness.
2010 has a lot to live up to.


I was going to do one of those self-serving, narcissistic "My Favorite Posts Of 2009" but really none of them were that great AND the last 4 or 5 months I've hardly blogged at ALL except for product reviews.

So instead, I will post one of those self-serving, narcissistic "My Favorite Tweets Of 2009" lists, but FYI these are not just MY favorites, they are Other People's Favorites too.
You can also find them (and a lot more) HERE and HERE.

YOU. ARE. WELCOME.



My Favorite Favorited Tweets of 2009:

Being a REAL "Power Mom" has zero to do with the internet. Or marketing. Or monetizing. Or being legendary in your own mind.

I am offering large cups of Shut The Fuck Up with free unlimited refills.

I tried to love my neighbor as I love myself but he really didn't like The Rabbit.

Bring chips and chocolate when visiting a woman with PMS or menopause. The life you save may be your own.

I wish tears tasted like chocolate so that at least I could ENJOY the incessant peri-menopausal crying.

I think I've gone from a 36C to a 36Long.

One person's hero is another person's douchebag.


And from the #fakeinspirationalcrap series...

"I try to always focus on the positive; like, You're positively a douchebag." #fakeinspirationalcrap

"To allow love to blossom is to invite someone to pick it, stick it in a jar, and watch it die." #fakeinspirationalcrap

"Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's also likely to get you stabbed in the head." #fakeinspirationalcrap

"It's okay to be a failure, as long as nobody sees it." #fakeinspirationalcrap


That is all.
Have a Day Year.
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