Here are a few of my favorites that I came up with.
If you follow me on Twitter, feel free to skip this because you've probably already seen it.
You treat me like a Queen!
But for the last time, I swear I AM STRAIGHT.
I don't know what I'd do without you!
But I'd like to give it a six-month try.
I'm so sorry...
That on our recent trip to Mexico I drank the water...and shit my pants.
That I got so drunk on our date that I killed your fish when I puked in your aquarium.
I fell in love with you in cyberspace/But then we met and I saw your face/Now that's a memory I long to erase.
If I had a quarter for every time I thought of you...
I could pay the parking meter for a whole hour.
I smile when I think about you every morning...
Because I'm plotting your death.
I bought you this very expensive gift so you'd feel guilty about missing MY birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY from all of us!
Because none of us likes you well enough to spring for a card individually.
So...how many can I put you down for?
FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!
Tonight's show: MOOD MUSIC
And we all know I'm a woman of many, many moods.
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