"Two Dogs Fucking" - Yep, still one of my favorite jokes.
"Scientific word for eating a girl" - Um...cannibalism?
"Lime green boogers" - Okay, I understood the chocolate covered ones, but I know I've never said anything about lime green. And I really don't think they taste like lime. Maybe green apple.
"Birthday wish for an older woman" - Might I suggest one of these? I think it's one size fits all. Or maybe one of these.