Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Well shuck my drawers & call me nekkid

HOLY SHIT!
We just had a 2.5 earthquake.
!!!
Yeah, I know, some of you are thinking, "Big deal!"
But this is Oklahoma, for crap's sake. We get tornadoes, not earthquakes.
It made a big boom.


Did you know? Hershey's has Cordial Cherry Kisses.
And did you know? they are the height of gastronomic delight.
Orgasmic.
*shudder*


Don't forget to tune in to my Christmas Eve show on Sunday, 8pm.
There's going to be a new contest.


I got my Christmas cards out a little late.
I'm in hopes they'll arrive before Christmas...but don't hold your breath.


That is all.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

!!!!!!!!!!

"Your friendships are the strong, colorful threads that weave the beautiful tapestry of my life." --aka_Monty


Where do I begin?

I begin, I suppose, with a Thank You.
To whom? To ALL OF YOU.
Even though the words "Thank You" are far too small to express what I want to say.
I would say it to each of you individually, but you have stymied me, you wonderful anonymous benefactors.

I was going to go with a whole Sally Field "You like me! You really like me!" thing, but...this is bigger, better, deeper than that.

I went to the mailbox this morning, feeling pretty good, since my boss gave me a little Christmas bonus yesterday and I was busy planning how to spend it, thinking on what little extra thing I could give my children.

I reached into the mailbox and withdrew a card addressed in red ink. No return address.
I didn't think that was unusual, because lots of people don't put a return addy on cards.

I smiled, wondering who it was from, and opened the envelope as I walked across the crunchy leaves in my front yard.
I smiled, reading the card, anticipating the inside, wondering who the card was from.

Then.....

A Gift Card. An extravagantly generous, unexpected, and wonderful Gift Card.
With no names.


I stood on the front porch in disbelief, knees weak, crying, smiling at the sky, thanking you in my heart and my mind. I think my heart grew so big with love for you that it spilled out all over my porch.

I could not speak.
I am undone by your love, your generosity, your caring.
I wish I knew any words big and powerful enough to convey what I felt at just that moment. What I'm still feeling.

YOU.ROCK.MY.WORLD.
And I mean that.

You make me rich beyond my wildest dreams.
In the history of the world, has anyone ever had better friends than I have?
I think not.
My children would thank you if they could, because they're in for a very, very Merry Christmas this year.
Thank you. I love you, each and every one.


OH and PS How in the hell did you manage to keep such a secret from me? :)


OH and PPS Wouldn't you like to reveal yourself to me?


PPPS Please?

Monday, December 18, 2006

Don't be sad if you missed...

...MONTY DOES MOJO--because it is NOW AVAILABLE* for download!

Click here to get your own player.



*For a limited time only **

**Not really. It's ALWAYS available. Just like me.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

The Debriefing

First things first...
TONIGHT. 8pm Central. 9pm East Coast. 6pm West Coast.


MONTY DOES MOJO--THE HOSTILE TAKEOVER

There was a brief insurrection in the ranks, but I ruthlessly quashed it.
PLUS:
ºA Drinking Game
ºDouble Shots
ºTWO SPECIAL dedications
ºAs always, your weekly HOROSCOPE

You don't want to miss this show.


I appear to have survived The Mission, but I don't mind telling you it was touch and go for a while.
Unfortunately, as I was busy congratulating myself on a job well done, I realized that I had left two names off my list.
Dammit.
Now I have to go back. *gak*
And the wrapping, O! the wrapping.
I'm thinking gift bags. Or paper grocery sacks. Whatever.


Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?


Please refrain from answering that last question.


My darling daughter made a pot of coffee this morning, so that it would be ready when I got up. It was more delicious than mine.
She's either The Perfect Child or The Bad Seed.
Only time will tell.
However, I've started calling her Rhoda, just in case.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Black Op

I am on a mission.
I have a list.
I will take no prisoners.

Yes, I am going Christmas shopping...
All.
In.
One.
Day.

I work better under pressure. Hey, that's how I roll.

Now...wish me luck.

Requiem For A Blog (Or Two)

Friends, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of THESE TWO blogs.
Their owners, due to some strange malady, perhaps a brain tumor or two, have elected to close up shop.
Their blogs are no more.
They have ceased to be.

Two of the most gifted people I've ever been privileged to "know"...two people who know how to string the words together so well as to make you feel the stories they share...you can touch them, taste them.
Brando's stories were sometimes surreal, yet perfectly understandable. He has the gift of being able to draw you in, make you empathize, feeling layers of emotion. Just self-deprecating enough to bring gentle humor and a sense of poignancy to the writing, without ever sounding like a martyr or a victim.

Brandon, I'm going to miss you something awful.

Then there's Kat. Lordy, I'm going to miss that girl. She's incredibly talented--sharing bits of her life interspersed with the most wonderful stories that frequently brought tears to my eyes...and always, always left me wondering if the stories were true or a creation only of her mind.
It's part of the mystery of Kat, and the blogosphere is going to be a less wonderful place without I Hate Kit Kats.

If you are unfamiliar with either of those blogs, I can only say that it is surely to your detriment.

Now, in order to properly mourn them, we must drink a lot of booze, send drunken, nonsensical emails to people whether we know them or not, and post gloriously brilliant things.

I'm up for everything except perhaps the last.

I'm going to miss you two.
And I'm dedicating some music to you on this week's radio show. You'll like it.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

HEY! YOU! Yeah YOU!

So, you missed it.
So, you can download now.
BONUS: NAME THAT SHOW Contest!
(with exciting prizes!)

Click here to get your own player.




Quote o' the Day:

"Never miss a good chance to shut up." --James Patterson

Friday, December 08, 2006

Me Thinks.

As tempting as it (sometimes) is, I never, ever read the end of the book first.
It just seems sort of like...cheating.
Mostly it seems totally disrespectful to the author who labored to craft the story for you (and by YOU I mean ME).
It's the getting there that's the fun part.
If you (and by YOU I mean YOU) authored a book, wouldn't you want someone to be so absorbed in your words that they just kept reading so they could get to the end?
I would.
Maybe Thumper could weigh in here, as a published author of several books (that I do love dearly!).


It really irritates me when people call this
"A YING YANG". It
Seriously.
Annoys.
Me.
And I mentally roll my eyes and wonder why I'm talking to that person at all.
Do people say that in your state, or is it just Okies?


Sometimes I grossly overestimate my own appeal.


I live on a fairly busy street, and when my daughter comes home from school I go to the end of the driveway to "help" her across the street (because I don't trust the dumbass drivers who sometimes run the red light because they're utter MORONS)...and she is on her side and I'm on my side and the traffic is rushing between us...and the song "Running Bear" always plays an endless loop in my head.


I typed my URL as bran-soup.blogspot.com twice today.
Do you think I'm subliminally telling myself I need more fiber in my diet?


I wonder why people so often use discrete when they clearly mean discreet.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Big deal.

So, I got a note from my son's teacher.
It may not seem like much--after all, he's 11 years old.

You may not understand why, but not only is it a big deal, it's a HUGE deal.

You see, he fed himself. All by himself. He scooped the food out of the bowl and put it in his mouth, with no-one holding his hand or elbow. And then he did it again. And again. Until all the food was gone.
He fed himself.

I cried.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

An Addendum

I've been fretting, worrying, about Christmas this year because...well...quite honestly my financial situation is somewhat grim and I can't afford to give everyone the lovely things I want to give them.
Now, I try to keep the focus on what Christmas means--means to us, in my family, anyway--but there's nothing I love more than the bright and glowing faces of children when they wake up Christmas morning and see what's under the tree.

Then last night I overheard a conversation between my mother and my daughter.

MOM: "So, what do you want for Christmas this year? You haven't given me a list."
DAUGHTER: "I don't really want anything, I just want to spend time with the whole family together. That's the important thing."

This tiny 11 year old person could teach me a thing or two.
How did I ever get so lucky?


A recommendation...

Mamacita sent me this book:


and I urge you to read it. It's wrenching and warming and beautiful.
After I turned the last page, my heart--like the Grinch's--grew three sizes that day.


If you missed Sunday's show, you can LISTEN HERE to Monty Does Mojo.
In case you were wondering.


Have a day.
That is all.