Sunday, April 17, 2005

My, doesn't everything sound prettier with an accent?

Top 5 "Designer Imposter" fragrances that you probably won't find at your friendly neighborhood drugstore...

1. Flatulencìa
Slightly sulfurous, with a top note of ass.
Perfect for a night of beer and boiled eggs.

2. Au Naturellix
Somewhat earthy, with an undertone of B.O.
Preferred by ladies who don't shave their pits.
not ME, it was my LEGS I didn't shave

3. Moisivert
Dark and mysterious...a versatile scent.
Nicely complements cleaning refrigerators and breadboxes.
When taken internally can cure gonorrhea.

4. Piedsueur
A greenish-type fragrance with the tang of cheese.
Good for athletic types.

5. Jet de Bogue
Zesty lemon with a middle note of Raid.
Nice for evenings in small, dark spaces, or outdoor summer nights when you're out of citronella.

To order, please send $29.95 +$5.00 S&H.
Hurry! If you're one of our first 100 callers, you will receive NOT ONE but TWO bottles of your favorite scent! That's right, a second bottle absolutely free!.
Plus, if you order now, we'll throw in the instructional video "How to wear Parfum" at no additional charge! That's a $30 value right there!
So call us in the next 10 minutes, and you'll get two bottles of parfum PLUS the bonus instructional video sent right to your door~~that's a nearly $90 value for the LOW LOW price of only $29.95!
Don't let this opportunity slip away~~ORDER NOW WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!

Do you think I've been watching too many infomercials?

and one more thing...
Regarding #6 on yesterday's list...don't knock it till you've tried it!
Go on, I dare ya.
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