It is a sad tale I bring you today.
My Computer is...*sniffle*...no more. It has ceased to be. It has departed into the ether and gone on to that great motherboard in the sky.
I'm in mourning for my best friend, that one who was (almost) always there when I needed some online time.
No more will I oh so lovingly and affectionately call him a no-good fucktard, a dirty rat-bastard, or a stupid worthless shitass when he teasingly locks up, boots me off, or puckishly scrambles his circuits just to get a rise out of me.
He finally pushed his pranks too far, and they got out of hand and destroyed my entire program list. I have nothing. NOTHING, I TELL YOU!
Now I go to don his favorite shirt in honour of what we had...the black t-shirt that says "Computers Do It With More Bytes".
I fondly remember receiving it in the mail one day...he had ordered it for me from the internet, using my credit card, without my knowledge or permission, as a surprise for me. Trying to make up for frying the power cord the week before, I suspect. It worked. Now I proudly wear it to prepare for the viewing, which will be held (as requested) at 6pm tonight in my home.
Tea and cookies will be served immediately following.
There will be a short memorial service tomorrow evening for all who want to attend. Please BYOB.
I must also prepare to panhandle on the streets for awhile, to raise money for his replacement. OH, I know, no-one could ever replace him and his faulty memory, his pokey connection speeds...but I'll certainly try to bear up as best I can.
My dearest readers (all two or so of you), please DO check back with me every day or so...as I will be stealing into my neighbor's house under cover of darkness to use their computer when I can.
Luckily, my parents live next door.
I will get with you as soon as possible.
Please take a moment to remember my computer...for all his shortcomings, he at least brought us here together. And for that, I am grateful.