Thursday, June 16, 2011

A codicil

Okay, so if you've been hanging around this joint for the last few years, you've probably read about my final wishes once I've shuffled off this mortal coil.
And I'm not even joking you.
Late one night I had a ...if I do say so myself...BRILLIANT IDEA.
Also it made me laugh a lot because it is sort of sick and twisted and totally Me.
Maybe a little gross too.

I have decided to be cremated - seriously, who wants to take up space and have groundwater (possibly SEWER WATER EW) seepage and rats trying to chew in to eat your face?

So cremation.
And a memorial service at which My Final Wishes are strictly followed -- with an added...bonus.

I am going to get keychains with little urns (or GENIE LAMPS! YES!) attached to them, and EVERYONE GETS A SCOOP OF ME TO TAKE HOME.
Like a party favor.

No, you have to take me. It's the rule.
Also I am hoping (FINGERS CROSSED!!) that this makes haunting easier.
Because I'm totes hoping that God and I can come to some agreement on that.
Putting the Fun into Funeral.
The recessional music will be Paul Young singing:
Every time you go away
You take a piece of me with you
You'll be there, right?
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