As you "writers" know, the annual panic and pressure (that you bring on yourselves, of course, because you DO realize that you will NOT actually be tortured or put to death if you don't finish, right?) of NaNoWriMo is upon us beginning today!
National Novel Writing Month.
Seriously, I admire you people so much for even trying, I love the premise of NaNoWriMo, but frankly it's WAY too hard and far beyond my scope of capabilities. I actually signed up to try one year - long, long ago and far, far away - and I didn't even get started.
My problem is that I simply can't write on demand, which is one of the (MANY) reasons I do not Blog For $$. I can't do it. I won't do it, but also I CANNOT.
Also I am not good at thinking of stuff.
For all you slackers like me, I am introducing something even
MORE FUNNER! (see why I am not a writer? I use words like 'funner' and 'more better)
Please join me in the FIRST EVER NATIONAL DRUNKEN BLOGGING MONTH!
All of the fun and excitement with NONE OF THE PRESSURE!
There will be, I imagine, some embarrassment and remorse, but hey - that's really the fun part for the rest of us.
One of the other nice things about NaDruBloMo is that you can join up at any time. We WILL accept your submissions once you drop out of NaNoWriMo in the middle of the month and let's face it, that is BOUND to happen to a lot of you.
I read the excuses every year: No time! I missed my word count! Writer's block! I was sick for 4 days! My kid was sick! I forgot! I had to work overtime! I had hemorrhoids and couldn't sit in front of the computer! My cat walked across the keyboard and deleted 5627 words!
Yes, we will gladly let you join us when that happens to you.
Simply drink a lot, and then write a blog post at the height of your inebriation.
Then when you're sober the next day (or two, I know some of you prefer the 2-or 3-Day Bender)...don't bother to delete the post because by then we've already read it anyway so it doesn't matter.
Grab our Official NaDruBloMo Logo and stick it on your post and/or sidebar - Be Proud, Be A Drunken Blogger!
I'll start things off with a post I actually Live-Drunk-Blogged a couple years ago. Feel free to use this format, it's really fun for your readers.
Remember: Drinking and Blogging DO MIX!
Kids are asleep.
I was going to get wine...but I was too lazy to drive to the liquor store (seriously, it's like...three whole miles away) so I thought I'd try some Smirnoff thingies in different flavors (black cherry right now). I'm a lightweight, you see...I rarely ever drink so I'm figuring in another hour I'll be passed out over the keyboard, where my drool will short circuit the thing and it'll start a fire, and then the smoke will keep me passed out, so...if you see my "REGARDING MONTY" post come up in the next couple days, you'll know that it was a tragic death due to fire and where to send flowers.
So I'm into the second bottle from the first six pack, and so far, nothing. Not a buzz. And I CHUGGED the first one in about 3 seconds.
So this experiment might not work...I SHOULD have gone for the Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and Coke. Yum.
**note to self: do NOT eat large quantities of pepperoncinis with pizza before drinking.
I love cornhuskers hand lotion.
I hate that they put clear lids on Pringle's cans, because I've stubbed my fingers on the lid twice now.
I wish this stuff would kick in, because I'm nt even feeling a buzz.(green apple flavor now)
It IS creating some lovely, long, drawn-out belches. YEAH. A prize any man would treasure, I am.
Tommy recommended I use spelll check, but I figure, why start now?
I'll be regretting that decision in the morning.
Say, did ou know how I got my mane aka-monty?
Because I love all things monty python. and I watched all the movies a million times.
Okay, that wasn't a very good stoory.
I need a scigarette.
I disabled my webcam just in case I was tempted to do something foolish.
I'm glad I left the window open onmy compouter, becosua I can't remember my passworld
I think i want to go leaves ome commetns on my fiend's blogs. I'll bring smirnoff thingies. (rasberry)
some time and there's nothinggood on tv
and my daughter got up and requestec that i p:LEase stop singing so luod.
To all you beople with the smap filters...it took me about seventy five tries to get the correct numbres and letters in.
Just so you realize my didication to you.
I have got to stop watching supernanny.
I relaize that they are specific cases, but the parents are all like 'oh dear it breaks my heart to have so tit them on th NAUGHTY STEP!'
and "i can't disciplne thme because they won.t like me anymore!'
Seriosuly. Bust that ass.
If my kid dosent dislike me at least once a day, im'm not doing something right.
I just wonder how a kid gets to be seven years old, or six, or five, or whatever, and think it is OKAY tohit and punchg their parents.
How do they learn to do that? How do htey learn that is accceptable behavior?
whothehellcares it is dark and i want ot sleep
I wish I had osme ice cream
I am a jealous person.
There. NOw I said it.
I'm yealous of you.
please forgive me. I've been informed that this post was only good if you were drunk whe you readd it.
I got it all ass-backwards.