Thursday, February 17, 2005

Okieland News

Okay, I meant to post this yestidday, but in one of my frequent moments of madness, I forgot.
So forgive the outdated info.

Coming up on The Early Show, the hidden dangers of...escalators. Do you
know where to stand?

Now really. How much brain power does it take to stand on an escalator?
What about the creedo that we all lived by during childhood, "Step on a
crack, break your mother's back?" Putting aside all the times we were
really angry with our mothers and jumped up & down on EVERY crack we saw,
doesn't anyone follow those rules anymore? :)
Seriously, what's next? "An expert's guide to walking up stairs?"

...and in other absurd news:

Pope Michael Jackson the I was hospitalized today with flu-like symptoms.
The adoring public is hoping to receive a wave from the window to ease
their minds.

Call me a tough ol' broad, but I've never been hospitalized for the flu.
Constitution of steel, that's me.
**Update: Pope Michael has since been released from the hospital...and he DID give a wave to his sycophants, after all. What a nice guy, that Pope Michael! sports news:

Here's my personal opinion regarding the NHL fiasco...I feel most sorry for the vendors and other businesses that cancelling the NHL season has damaged. For example, a bar near one of the sports centers that USED to employ 20 bartenders to cope with all the pre- and post-game traffic had to downsize to just FOUR bartenders. FOUR. And what about all the stores selling NHL jerseys, mugs, coasters, coozies, shotglasses, pucks, sticks, etc etc etc? Why, their business has fallen off to nearly nothing. Some of them are going under.
I also have some sympathy for the just-drafted rookies. They never even had a chance.
What's this going to do to the June draft?

Here in Okieland, we've got the CHL (GOOOOOO BLAZERS!). Here's what Blazer's captain Tyler Fleck had to say:
"I think what's going on is really hurting the game, and the game is in a very poor state right now. It's unfortunate for the fans. Small-market (NHL) teams are having trouble surviving, keeping up with the payroll. It's time for the players to put the GAME back in the game. It shouldn't be about dollars and cents."
Alternate captain Bryan Forslund said: "As a player, you naturally want to take the player's side, but there is some greed involved, and hockey players have obviously been paid very well in the past."
The Blazers (according to the Daily Oklahoman) who make between $300 and $700 a week plus houseing, find it tough to side with fellow hockey players at the NHL level, whose average salary last season was $1.83 million.

And I thought our guys were overpaid. ;)

...and the wrap up:

BEST IN SHOW. Wow, now that's a title we should all aspire to.
What exactly would you do with a title like that?
I guess the lucky
dog will be off on tour now...I imagine she'll be speaking at schools
about education, promoting world peace, publishing a book, posing for a
couple Playboy pics (for which she'll probably have her crown revoked)...The world is her dog biscuit.
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