Part of the problem with hating to be a whiner and trying to rarely complain about health issues is that when you really really really really really need to talk about it, you don't know how.
You don't know how to start.
You don't know how to ask someone to listen. I mean seriously, who actually loves to hear a litany of someone else's health complaints? I don't.
I mean if you're sick, sorry, wish I could help but I can't. I can't be there in person in most cases. I can't drop by with homemade chicken soup. I can't pet your head and say "there there."
I don't want you to feel that way about me. I don't want you to worry, I don't want to feel like an inconvenience, I don't want to bore you if you just don't care.
On the other hand, I want you to pet me on the head and say "there there." I want you to hug me and comfort me and tell me I'm going to be fine.
But I don't know how to talk about it. I don't know if I should be more concerned or less.
Yet the thought of pity freaks me out and sympathy makes me awkward.
**AS FAR AS I KNOW IT IS NOT THE BIG C so cross that off the list for the moment. That may be the ONE thing that isn't broken.
But I am overwhelmed and scared and depressed. I'm confused with all the things.
I feel lost and alone and, for one of the few times, really lonely.
I don't know what to do.
So don't say anything. Don't ask me although I want to be asked, because I really have to process everything first myself, plus I'm not sure about anything at the moment.
I just wanted to tell you.
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