Sunday, July 12, 2020

Lazy AF Cooking Chapter 3 with bonus Lazy AF salad/appetizer



Want something light and refreshing?
You can serve it as a side dish, and appetizer, or even a whole meal especially when it's just too hot out to eat much.

BONUS: Lazy AF EASY CAPRESE salad

1 package mozzarella pearls
1 small container of CHERUB tomatoes (I mean I *guess* you could use any kind of grape tomatoes you want but unless they're coming out of your garden, go with the CHERUBS)
1 or 2 tablespoons (to your taste) of basil pesto. Mine comes from a jar but some of you overachiever showoffs like to make your own, so whatever.
Drizzle with balsamic vinegar (to taste - I usually count to 3)
Drizzle some olive oil all over it
A little fresh ground SHOOP (haha by which I mean Salt N Pepa by which I mean salt and pepper if you're too old or too young or too uncool to get the reference)

**you can cut the cherubs in half if you want, I usually only cut the larger ones because I like that delicious pop & burst of flavor when they're whole.

Mix it all up together and put in the fridge. I just mix mine in storage bowl with a lid because Ima eat that shit right out of the bowl anyways.

OKAY you can make a reduction/glaze out of the balsamic vinegar if you want to be all fancy but then it would go one step beyond Lazy AF and we don't do that here and also it tastes just as good with the balsamic straight out the bottle, so.




Today's offerings are basically the same as chapter two only with NO CHICKEN if you can belee dat.
I KNOW. But I eat a lot of chicken because
A. It's way less expensive and I have a tight budget you know
2. I feel it's heart-healthier
III. My body is old and does not digest red meat as well as it should anymore and makes me logy.
BONUS: CRISPY DELICIOUS CHICKEN SKIN OMG YESSSSSSS.



BONUS INFO: Any of the Chapter 2 meals AND these - you can substitute sweet potatoes for the regular potatoes for a change up.



Okay so if you read Chapter 2 then you're already probably a pro at this particular "recipe."

Scrub your taters or sweet taters clean and cut in half - put them in the crock pot skin side down.
Throw some scrubbed carrots on top of them.
A little salt n pepper.

NOW THE MEAT.

Okay, so we have an extra step I don't mind adding when using red meat (or pork) -
SEAR IT.
Some people will lightly dust the chuck roast/pork roast/pork steaks/pork chops with seasoned flour and give it a good hard sear in a bit of olive oil on all sides before putting in the crock pot.
Some people will just season the meat and sear in olive oil without flouring it first.

I do both, depending on how lazy I feel that day.
But if you use flour, you have a more delicious bit of pan drippings to pour over top of everything, so whatever floats your boat.

Put the seared meat on top of your carrots and potatoes, pour your drippings over, and cook on low for about 8 hours.

SEASONING:  Seriously you can't go wrong experimenting here.
Sometimes I glug some red wine vinegar over the red meat or white wine vinegar over the pork.
Or vice versa. It doesn't matter BECAUSE THE MEAT DOES NOT CARE.

OR I'll use a couple bullio...boullio...those beef flavored cube things that you melt in boiling water & pour over the roast and then maybe a quarter cup of sliced pepperoncinis & juice over that. You'll have some nice jus that will also have soaked into your taters.

OR some people like to throw a stick of butter and a packet of hidden valley ranch dressing or dip powder in there. This is also tasty.

OR a little woozy sauce and a half stick of buttah is also very good.

Spice it up with a little sliced tamed jalapeno!

Add some corn on the cob on top for the last 3-4 hours of cooking if you want or if you are a weirdo and don't like carrots.

KETO FRIENDLY: Leave out the potato and carrot. Just put the meat and some beef broth/cube things in the crock pot. Cut a head of cabbage into wedges or thick "steaks" and cram those down on top of the meat for the last 3 hours of cooking.  The cabbage will soak up the deliciousness of the broth and whatever spices/seasonings you put on.
No cabbage? Throw in some brussels sprouts or asparagus or some sliced bell peppers and onion. OR ALL OF THEM WHY LIMIT YOURSELF?




While we're on the whole "searing the meat" train, one more deliciously simple but lazy AF recipe for today.

I never really cared much for pork (well, I mean besides bacon and ham because...BACON and HAM), but the chops and steaks and roasts were always sort of dry or gritty or bland or all of the above so I never cook them. Also I really do NOT like sausage at all so I don't ever buy it (except those beef smoked sausage things which are totally different because I love them except they give me terrible reflux).

ANYWAY.

You will need some nice fatty pork chops or pork steaks. Bone IN.
At least 1 LARGE JAR of sauerkraut or 2-3 cans. You might need 2 large jars depending on
how many people and how much you like sauerkraut.

This recipe does not leave the pork dry or flavorless so even if you're not a fan of The Other White Meat, you should try this.

Lightly dust the pork chops or pork steaks - use the ones with the most fat on - with flour you've seasoned with garlic, Lawry's salt, pepper.

Nice hard sear in some olive oil and get that fat all crispety crunchety and melting in your pan.

While those are searing, put a layer of sauerkraut in the bottom of the crock pot.
Put 1 or 2 seared chops on that. Pour the pan drippings over alla that.

Another layer of sauerkraut, another layer chops, another layer of delicious drippings.
Be generous with the sauerkraut.

Repeat as necessary. Make sure top layer is sauerkraut & pan drippings.

Cover and cook on low for about 7 hours or until meat is falling off the bone and super tender.

**THIS CAN ALSO BE DONE ON THE STOVE TOP or IN A DUTCH OVEN, just cook it low & slow for about 3-4 hours or until meat is fork tender & falling off the bone. If you put it in the oven, I'd cook around 300 -325.
And to be honest, I really like the flavor better when it cooks all day on the stove top - but that's better to do in winter because who wants their kitchen to get hot from that? Plus you have to watch it a little bit to make sure the bottom doesn't burn. TOTES WORTH IT THOUGH.

**Some people like to cut very thin slices of granny smith apple and add a few slices on each layer, and some people even add a sprinkle of brown sugar over the apples.
I'm not a fan of this, especially the sugar. The apple though IS acceptable ONCE IN A WHILE. Just for a little different taste.
"That's swell!"
(raise your hand if you even get this)






YOU. ARE. WELCOME.







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