Music WAS my boyfriend, but he couldn't satisfy me.
Probably because I didn't have one of these.
The only spirit I'm filled with during the holiday season (besides, well, spirits, like booze) is the spirit of the Mean Green Furry One.
His name starts with "G".
Grouch, Oscar the.
I've been using all my best odd thoughts on twitter.com.
That hardly seems fair, does it?
I have too much emotional baggage to fit comfortably in the overhead compartment.
My children are nearly thirteen years old and I still have no idea how to be a parent. It's a wonder they're not feral.
Does this body make me look fat?
Does my ass make these pants look fat?
Where's my trashcan?
Grouch, Oscar the