Thursday, October 12, 2006

Who said life was fair?

My friend (and one of my favorite Aussies) PETE said that to be fair I should post "How To Shower Like A Woman"...

...but Pete honey, it was all about steamy scents and sensuality and of course hand-held massage shower heads and I didn't think your poor heart could take it.

So I'm really just withholding it for your own good. You can thank me later.

The pre-coffee look is probably why no one wants to sleep over.

The Shower Battle Of The Sexes

The men fight back...How To Shower Like A Woman, by PETER:

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

I'll have you know I haven't shaved my legs in ages.
So there.

Which is probably another reason why nobody wants to sleep over.
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