Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Potty Mouth

Shizznit? Pizzoop?

I've often wondered who was on the committee that decided "SHIT" was a swear word and "POOP" was more...socially acceptable.

Both words get used as expletives; I'm as likely to say "OH POOP!" or the more advanced "CACA POOPIE DOOPIE!" when I'm really angry as well as "SHIT" or "SHIT A BRICK!".

So, which is worse?

You can be in deep shit or deep poop~~I'm pretty sure it's about the same depth.

You can get your shit together...although I'm not completely certain as to why you'd want to.

See, here's where it starts to get confusing.

You don't want to get the shits, and you may not take any shit, but you do want to take a poop.
And then I might tell you not to give me any shit.
But I don't think I'd say don't give me any poop.
Even though I don't want either of those from you.
Because I don't give a shit either.

But if someone thinks they're hot shit, it conjures up a completely different picture than hot poop, which to my recollection I've never heard.

I've been called the shit, but thankfully I've never been called the poop.
Being "The Shit" sounds cool...being "The Poop" sounds like something you should go scrape off the bottom of your shoe.

Having shit for brains means you're stupid, and you don't want to be called either a shit-head OR a poop-head, although poopie-head rears it's ugly head on the playground more often than not.

Most people know that getting shit-faced means you've over-imbibed...but if I said I got poop-faced, well, that just sounds like I need a good wash-up.

They say shit floats, so I guess that's why it's so bad to be up shit creek without a paddle.
I'm not sticking my hand in that.

If you get too arrogant you might be called King Shit of Turd Hill, but everyone knows that shit rolls downhill.

Either way, you're in the crapper.

I shit you not.

The President hisself (yes, I know I said hisself. It was on purpose. And I don't know why I felt it necessary to explain that to you) is speaking at OSU Commencement this Saturday.

Man, we totally got ripped off at my graduation...we only had Frosty Troy.
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