I've seriously got to find a new boyfriend, so I can go buy new underwear.
(If you're wondering how the two are related...it seems I can only get motivated to buy new undies when there is a hot-guy-might-see-my-panties potential. I'm just sayin'.)
Has anyone got family members that, when you see them or talk to them, you're reminded of carnival folk?
Or is that just me?
Welcome to today's edition of the Guest Post. The entry you are about to enjoy comes from the ever-engaging Janet from The Art Of Getting By. If she isn't on your list of regular reads...well, what's wrong with you? She's very funny. PLUS as a schoolteacher she's always got good stories to tell.
Thanks, Janet, for playing along.
On with the show!
Sometimes I wish I had super powers. Reading people's minds would be nice. The ability to become invisible has its advantages. Unfortunately, I do not posess
these, nor any other super powers. However this does not prevent me from feeling a bit like a dysfunctional comic book character. This is why, as of late, I dub
myself transformed into RANDOM SINGLE FRIEND!
You know your RANDOM SINGLE FRIEND! He or she is the one who narrowly escapes commitment at every turn. Perhaps this is because they've had one too many brushes with MR. NON-COMMITTAL or even a MISS CHEATS-A-LOT or two. And just like in the comics, there has to be an arch nemesis to the RANDOM SINGLE FRIEND'S well intentioned ways. Something or more specifically, someone, to foil the best of laid plans.
It is also possible that you've even been the RANDOM SINGLE FRIEND!, or RSF, at some point in your life. Who knows? Maybe you are even currently
one right now. Notice there are never more than two of these folks maximum per gathering and if there were, they'd no longer be random, thus taking the "specialness" out of the whole damn experience. Of course it's also completely possible that you're a ULETP, Unattached Long Enough To Pee girl or guy. If that's the case well then, you suck.
The older you get the more cumbersome it becomes to be the RSF. I
can't decide if this is worse for a previously attached, new RSF or for someone who has been the longstanding RSF of the group or any group. All I do know is as the years pass by, more and more people pair off; some of whom are never to be
seen or heard from again. These folks are known as WOHWOCC's or
We Only Hang With Other Couples, Couples. If you're a part of a set, they're a part of your life. But if you're not, they're nowhere to be found.
Finally, we have our well intentioned, half of a couple friends, otherwise known as the WIHCF's to round out the group. These are the people that will invite you
to every gathering they have, even if it's an otherwise quiet dinner with their significant other.
Why? Because they are trying to prove a point.
"You don't NEED a significant other! You have US! You are so money
and you don't even know it!"
Unfortunately, for the RSF, these outings are never as fun as you'd hope they be, especially when little things start to remind you of the relationship you used to have, or never had, as the case may be.
Whatever the case, all of these people have one thing in common: they want to see you settled, too. So much so that they all go to great lengths to get their
point across. Some include you to make a statement, while others exclude you to make a very similar statement. All of them are doing so with a certain degree of pity.
Sure they tell you that you don't need someone special, but it's not
long until they're talking over you about your potential love life.
"Isn't ____ single?"
or "You know what you should do?! You should________."
Suddenly it's as if you're being auctioned off to the highest bidder. The only problem is...nobody's buying.
'Cause let's be real here. We live in a society that proves beyond the shadow of a doubt what we all knew already, Virginia isn't the only place made for lovers. Unattached a little while is cool and classy.
Unattached for a long time screams pathetic and desperate.
Everybody, no matter how badly they will deny it, need love in their lives. They need
companionship. Even if your love and companionship ends up coming from 3 cats and a dog, you're still seeking solace in someone or something. It's human nature, how we are programmed.
Can't shoot the messenger on this one.
So what is the lesson to be learned in all of this?
Well quite simply, if you have a RANDOM SINGLE FRIEND, be sensitive to their needs. Understand that inviting them to all couples outings full of public displays of affection, depsite rumors to the contrary, actually does not help boost
one's self esteem.
On the flip side, take some time out to hang with your RSF, and I don't mean from 1 to 3pm on an equally random Thursday afternoon. Cause you know what? That's lame. And
Finally, try to put yourself in said RSF's shoes.
Don't tell them they are great and they are going to meet someone equally as great... blah, blah, blah...because:
1. We know what you're really thinking.
2. You don't know that they will meet someone and guess what?
THEY KNOW YOU DON'T. How do they know? It's really quite simple.
Because most of US used to be YOU.
Now if you'll excuse me...I gotta get cracking on a kickass girlie cape/costume to complete the look.