Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask...

...about me.
I've been tagged with a few memes that have been relegated to the back page.
Today they get to be the headliners.

First, we'll tackle the one given to me from both the lovely and brilliant Janet and the talented and creative Megan::

Total number of films I own:
Does this count all the ones I taped off HBO & Showtime? Because I've got those 3 movies/tape. I can't give you an accurate count, but I can tell you that I've got a 4 shelf bookcase double-and-triple stacked with videos. I'm going to guess somewhere in the neighborhood of 600. That's if I leave out my stash of porn.


The last film I bought:
THIS one I know...it was Love, Actually. I actually truly love that movie.


The last film I watched:
If we're counting films watched at the movie theater, then it was The Longest Yard, to which Brian and I attended the "Geek Club" showing. Too late for a matinee, too early for the "cool" crowd.
It's official~we've become ol' geezers. Should've asked for the senior discount.

Five favorite films I either watch frequently or that mean a lot to me:
Now, someone's feelings are going to be hurt...only FIVE favorites? *sigh*
Okay, off the top of my head, in no particular order:
1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2. Sense & Sensibility
3. Waiting For Guffman/A Mighty Wind (hehe, I cheated)
4. Any movie with Steve Martin (especially Parenthood & The Jerk) (I cheated again!)
5. The Quiet Man (Marquis of Queensbury rules!)

I want to change my answers already, because I have so many favorites...so I'll move on to the next meme & resist the temptation.


James hit me with this one...and it's nearly as tough for me as the movie one. So many books...so little time...

Total number of books owned:
Again, I can't give an accurate count. I've got crammed bookshelves, boxes of books in my bedroom, the attic, the garage, and random stacks of books all over my house. I'm estimating roughly 900 or so. Maybe (probably) more.


Last book bought:
OH OH! I know this one~Are You Afraid Of The Dark? by Sidney Sheldon and Therapy by Johnathan Kellerman.
I just got them last week (on payday~because I always treat myself to a book or two on payday).


Last book read:
I finished the Sidney Sheldon and am halfway through with the Kellerman.
Both most excellent.


Five books that mean a lot to you:
Again with the five? Can't I have more than that?
Okay, I'm so cheating on this one too.

1. ALL Stephen King books
2. ALL C.S. Lewis books (even the grown-up ones)
3. The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
4. The Bible (yeah, I read it even when it isn't Sunday)
5. Okay, pretty much any book I read more than once (which is all of them) mean something to me in some way. I re-read certain books when I'm in a certain mood~if I need to laugh, or to cry, or I want to be creeped out, and even sometimes when I need a little romance. And let's not forget the porn.


Now, to combine the two elements into one whole mess...
This one I stole from Easy over at Glory Road:
200 ways to procastinate.

Books.
Bold the ones you've read, italicize the ones you've read part of--

1984, George Orwell
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
Animal Farm, George Orwell
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery

Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
The BFG, Roald Dahl
Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
Bleak House, Charles Dickens
Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
Catch 22, Joseph Heller
The Catcher In The Rye, JD Salinger
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel(I've read all of hers)
Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
Dune, Frank Herbert
Emma, Jane Austen
Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
The Godfather, Mario Puzo
Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell

Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Sorceror's Stone, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling

His Dark Materials trilogy, Philip Pullman
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Douglas Adams
The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien

Holes, Louis Sachar
I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
Katherine, Anya Seton
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, CS Lewis
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
The Lord Of The Rings, JRR Tolkien

Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blighton
Magician, Raymond E Feist
The Magus, John Fowles
Matilda, Roald Dahl
Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
Middlemarch, George Eliot
Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie
Mort, Terry Pratchett
Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
On The Road, Jack Kerouac
One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
Perfume, Patrick Süskind
Persuasion, Jane Austen
The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
Pride And Prejudice, Jane Austen
The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
The Ragged Trousered Philantrhopists, Robert Tressell
Rebecca, Daphne Du Maurier
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

The Secret History, Donna Tartt
The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
The Stand, Stephen King
The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
Tess Of The D'urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee

A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
The Twits, Roald Dahl
Ulysses, James Joyce
Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
War And Peace, Leo Tolstoy
Watership Down, Richard Adams
The Wind In The Willows, Kenneth Grahame
Winnie-the-Pooh, AA Milne

The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

100 movies. Bold the ones that you've seen, italicize the ones that you've seen part of.


1 Godfather, The (1972)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
5 Schindler's List (1993)
6 Citizen Kane (1941)
7 Casablanca (1942)
8 Seven Samurai (1954)
9 Star Wars (1977)
10 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
11 Memento (2000)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
13 Rear Window (1954)
14 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17 Usual Suspects, The (1995)
18 Amélie (2001)
19 Pulp Fiction (1994)
20 North by Northwest (1959)
21 Psycho (1960)
22 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
23 12 Angry Men (1957)
24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
25 It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
26 The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
27 Goodfellas (1990)
28 American Beauty (1999)
29 Vertigo (1958)
30 Pianist, The (2002)
31 Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32 Apocalypse Now (1979)
33 Some Like It Hot (1959)
34 Matrix, The (1999)
35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36 Taxi Driver (1976)
37 Third Man, The (1949)
38 Paths of Glory (1957)
39 Fight Club (1999)
40 Boot, Das (1981)
41 L.A. Confidential (1997)
42 Double Indemnity (1944)
43 Chinatown (1974)
44 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
45 Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
46 Singin' in the Rain (1952)
47 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
48 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
49 Saving Private Ryan (1998)
50 All About Eve (1950)
51 M (1931)
52 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
53 Raging Bull (1980)
54 Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
55 Se7en (1995)
56 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000)
57 Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
58 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
59 Vita e bella, La (1997)
60 American History X (1998)
61 Sting, The (1973)
62 Touch of Evil (1958)
63 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
64 Alien (1979)
65 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
66 Rashemon (1950)
67 Leon (1994)
68 Annie Hall (1977)
69 Great Escape, The (1963)
70 Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
71 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
72 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
73 Sixth Sense, The (1999)
74 Jaws (1975)
75 Amadeus (1984)
76 On the Waterfront (1954)
77 Ran (1985)
78 Braveheart (1995)
79 High Noon (1952)
80 Fargo (1996)
81 Blade Runner (1982)
82 Apartment, The (1960)
83 Aliens (1986)
84 Toy Story 2 (1999)
85 Strangers on a Train (1951)
86 Modern Times (1936)
87 Shining, The (1980)
88 Donnie Darko (2001)
89 Duck Soup (1933)
90 Princess Bride, The (1987)
91 Lola rennt (1998)
92 City Lights (1931)
93 General, The (1927)
94 Metropolis (1927)
95 Searchers, The (1956)
96 Full Metal Jacket
97 Notorious (1946)
98 Manhattan (1979)
99 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
100 Graduate, The (1967)


And now for something completely different...

1) THE BEST QUOTE/LINE I HAVE READ/HEARD TODAY IS:
"Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion."

2) IF I HAD TO CHANGE THE COLOUR OF ONE PART OF MY BODY, IT WOULD BE: My skin. The color is currently dead fish-belly white...I'd like a little tan.

3) THE WEIRDEST THING ABOUT MY BODY IS: My big fat ass. Bleurgh.

4) THE BEST THING ABOUT MY BODY IS: The rack is pretty okay...but I also have a nice smile.

5) IF I COULD HAVE ANY JOB FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, IT WOULD BE: Proofreading books for a living. I LOVE that.

6) SOME STUPID WIZARD OR SOMETHING AS DORKY IS ABOUT TO TURN YOU INTO A RANDOM OBJECT. WHAT WOULD BE THE BEST AND WORST OBJECTS?:
BEST: A guitar *wink wink*
WORST: A thong...*shudder*

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE HOT OR COLD?: I have to take climate-controlled on this one...

8) IF YOU COULD HUG ONE PERSON RIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD IT BE?: Everyone on my blogroll. Especially Norman, because I have a weird blog-crush on him.

9) HOW MANY TIMES WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE REALY FAILED IN YOUR LIFE?: If failing means giving up...then probably once. Otherwise...I have NOT completed some things I've attempted, but not for lack of trying. I prefer to think of it as a growth experience. And then I rationalize it away.

10) IF YOU COULD TEACH THE WORLD ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: Can't we all just get along?

11) WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD SAY IF YOU SUDDENLY INHERITED SEVEN CHILDREN?: Ummm...isn't there anyone more qualified?

12) WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD SAY IF YOU SUDDENLY INHERITED A BILLION DOLLARS?: I wouldn't say anything, as I would have swallowed my tongue.

13) WHAT NUMBER DO YOU LEAST LIKE, FROM 1-10?: How can you not like numbers? Who thought of this question? For crap's sake.

14) WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE WORD?: It's nasty...I'll leave out the 'U'.
C*NT (grossest word ever invented. Bleh.)

15) MATH OR MUSIC?: Music!!

16) WHAT IS THE NAUGHTIEST JOKE YOU TELL PEOPLE?: The man, the whorehouse, & the blow-up doll.

17) IF YOU COULD BRING ONE PERSON BACK TO LIFE WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE OF HITTING THEM WITH A LARGE FOAM BAT, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?:
Hey, I've got plenty of people who are ALIVE right now that I'd like to hit with a bat.

18) errrmmm...what happened to number 18??

19) PINK OR GREY, OR BOTH?: Ick, neither.

20) WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR TOENAILS?: Metallic purple...I ALWAYS have painted toenails. It's the law.

21) BOYS: Boxers or Briefs? (I prefer my men to wear boxer-briefs. With little hearts)
GIRLS: Bikini or Grandma panties?
Depends on whether or not I have a date that night.

22) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RAINY-DAY ACTIVITY?
Hmmm...alone, reading. If I have company, then a leisurely day in bed. Snuggling. Or whatever.

23) MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL or CAMELOT?
Both. Always both.

24) IF I COULD MAGICALLY TRANSFORM INTO ANY OTHER PERSON FOR A WEEK, WHO WOULD IT BE & WHY?
A supermodel? No, I'd be too hungry...A politician? No, I'd abuse my power...
I think I have a hard enough time being me. Why add to the stress?

25) CARTOON NETWORK OR NICKELODEON?
DEFINITELY Cartoon Network...must have SPACE GHOST Coast to Coast

26) IF YOU COULD HOST A CURRENT TV TALK SHOW, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE & WHY?
Regis & Kelly...Get paid to act like a dumb blonde? COUNT ME IN!

27) DESCRIBE WHAT LOVE MEANS TO YOU...IN 6 WORDS OR LESS:
Tenderness, trust, honesty, excitement, contentment, passion

28) IF YOU WERE A SUPERHERO, WHAT WOULD YOUR NAME & SUPER-POWERS BE?:
I AM a superhero. I am the ANTI-TROLL AVENGER! I bring ruin and destruction to trolls. Unfortunately, they're usually too stupid to realize it.

29) SAY YOU INHERITED THAT BILLION DOLLARS. WHO DO YOU TELL FIRST? WHO'S THE LAST PERSON YOU WANT TO KNOW?
First...my mom. She'd deserve to be first in line for everything. :D (but second would be my ex-dork The Slacker so I could rub it in his face) Last...The Cheater (my kids' dad), because then he'd think he could stop paying the teeny bit of child support I get.

30) TOOTSIE-ROLL POPS: LICK OR CRUNCH?
mmmm....tootsie-rolls...gotta suck on 'em till you're ALMOST at the end...THEN crunch.

31) WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: No Sugar Tonight by The Guess Who

32) DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?: Yes, every day there are a hundred miracles we take for granted.

33) DO YOU STILL WISH ON STARS?: Naturally!

34) COKE OR PEPSI: COKE COKE COKE.

35) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: Many, many times...

36) HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN?: Many, many times...

37) DO YOU HAVE A MUSE?: If you mean like one of the gals from the movie Xanadu, then no.

38) IF YOU COULD INVENT ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?:
The Perfect Man.

39) SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE?: For my daughter, ABSOLUTELY NOT! For me...well...I'm not having any sex right now. Not right this minute, I mean. Or at any time in the last 6 months. Dammit.

40) LAST THING YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP: How grateful I am for having another day.

41) PERSON YOU MOST ADMIRE: I admire MANY people for MANY different reasons

42) WHAT WOULD YOUR PORN NAME BE?: Khandi Khane...sweet & sticky. That actually IS my phone-sex operator name. I mean, IF I were a phone sex operator. IF.

43) HEAVEN OR HELL? I believe in 'em both...I'm certain Heaven is where I want to be.

44) ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU STILL THINK ABOUT:
Most of the people in my past are still in my present. But in this case I'd have to say Underdog.

45) DOWNLOADING MUSIC FROM THE INTERNET, WRONG OR NOT: Of course I would never, ever do something like that...if there was a chance I'd get caught.

46) LOOK AROUND, WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: My daughter's BLUE RIBBON winning picture she painted in first grade

47) SHOT GUN WEDDING OR TRADITIONAL: I carry a shotgun to ALL my weddings. This is OkieLand, you know.

48) HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF MEETING YOUR DEMISE?: No idea. I certainly HOPE it's quick & painless...but with my luck...*sigh*

49) ORGAN DONATION?: Most definitely. If I kick, I've got no use for 'em anymore. SAVE A LIFE!

50) WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE WRITTEN ON YOUR TOMBSTONE?:
Depends on how many pepperonis are on there for me to spell something out with.


NOW! That concludes this session of Far too much information.
Please place all trash in the conveniently located containers as you leave.


Monty has left the building.

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