So I was watching the "reality" tv show Beauty and the Geek.
The title should clue you in on the premise.
Brainy, dorky guys teamed with beauty queens.
Two of the geeks were arguing (because one of them is totally annoying)...
and one of the Beauties said, "Just because you've studied medicine doesn't give you the right to try to diagnose somebody!"
Oh, really? Man, when my doctor learns about that little fact, he's gonna be so pissed he spent all that money on medical school...
After yesterday, I figure I'm meme-safe for at least 6 months...
I really should be working right now. *sigh*
OH! I forgot to mention...
If you should ever happen to purchase something from my BossLady, please drop me an email~I want to send you a note!
:)
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask...
...about me.
I've been tagged with a few memes that have been relegated to the back page.
Today they get to be the headliners.
First, we'll tackle the one given to me from both the lovely and brilliant Janet and the talented and creative Megan::
Total number of films I own:
Does this count all the ones I taped off HBO & Showtime? Because I've got those 3 movies/tape. I can't give you an accurate count, but I can tell you that I've got a 4 shelf bookcase double-and-triple stacked with videos. I'm going to guess somewhere in the neighborhood of 600. That's if I leave out my stash of porn.
The last film I bought:
THIS one I know...it was Love, Actually. I actually truly love that movie.
The last film I watched:
If we're counting films watched at the movie theater, then it was The Longest Yard, to which Brian and I attended the "Geek Club" showing. Too late for a matinee, too early for the "cool" crowd.
It's official~we've become ol' geezers. Should've asked for the senior discount.
Five favorite films I either watch frequently or that mean a lot to me:
Now, someone's feelings are going to be hurt...only FIVE favorites? *sigh*
Okay, off the top of my head, in no particular order:
1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2. Sense & Sensibility
3. Waiting For Guffman/A Mighty Wind (hehe, I cheated)
4. Any movie with Steve Martin (especially Parenthood & The Jerk) (I cheated again!)
5. The Quiet Man (Marquis of Queensbury rules!)
I want to change my answers already, because I have so many favorites...so I'll move on to the next meme & resist the temptation.
James hit me with this one...and it's nearly as tough for me as the movie one. So many books...so little time...
Total number of books owned:
Again, I can't give an accurate count. I've got crammed bookshelves, boxes of books in my bedroom, the attic, the garage, and random stacks of books all over my house. I'm estimating roughly 900 or so. Maybe (probably) more.
Last book bought:
OH OH! I know this one~Are You Afraid Of The Dark? by Sidney Sheldon and Therapy by Johnathan Kellerman.
I just got them last week (on payday~because I always treat myself to a book or two on payday).
Last book read:
I finished the Sidney Sheldon and am halfway through with the Kellerman.
Both most excellent.
Five books that mean a lot to you:
Again with the five? Can't I have more than that?
Okay, I'm so cheating on this one too.
1. ALL Stephen King books
2. ALL C.S. Lewis books (even the grown-up ones)
3. The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
4. The Bible (yeah, I read it even when it isn't Sunday)
5. Okay, pretty much any book I read more than once (which is all of them) mean something to me in some way. I re-read certain books when I'm in a certain mood~if I need to laugh, or to cry, or I want to be creeped out, and even sometimes when I need a little romance. And let's not forget the porn.
Now, to combine the two elements into one whole mess...
This one I stole from Easy over at Glory Road:
200 ways to procastinate.
Books.
Bold the ones you've read, italicize the ones you've read part of--
1984, George Orwell
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
Animal Farm, George Orwell
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
The BFG, Roald Dahl
Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
Bleak House, Charles Dickens
Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
Catch 22, Joseph Heller
The Catcher In The Rye, JD Salinger
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel(I've read all of hers)
Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
Dune, Frank Herbert
Emma, Jane Austen
Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
The Godfather, Mario Puzo
Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Sorceror's Stone, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
His Dark Materials trilogy, Philip Pullman
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Douglas Adams
The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
Holes, Louis Sachar
I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
Katherine, Anya Seton
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, CS Lewis
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
The Lord Of The Rings, JRR Tolkien
Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blighton
Magician, Raymond E Feist
The Magus, John Fowles
Matilda, Roald Dahl
Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
Middlemarch, George Eliot
Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie
Mort, Terry Pratchett
Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
On The Road, Jack Kerouac
One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
Perfume, Patrick Süskind
Persuasion, Jane Austen
The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
Pride And Prejudice, Jane Austen
The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
The Ragged Trousered Philantrhopists, Robert Tressell
Rebecca, Daphne Du Maurier
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
The Secret History, Donna Tartt
The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
The Stand, Stephen King
The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
Tess Of The D'urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee
A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
The Twits, Roald Dahl
Ulysses, James Joyce
Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
War And Peace, Leo Tolstoy
Watership Down, Richard Adams
The Wind In The Willows, Kenneth Grahame
Winnie-the-Pooh, AA Milne
The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
100 movies. Bold the ones that you've seen, italicize the ones that you've seen part of.
1 Godfather, The (1972)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
5 Schindler's List (1993)
6 Citizen Kane (1941)
7 Casablanca (1942)
8 Seven Samurai (1954)
9 Star Wars (1977)
10 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
11 Memento (2000)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
13 Rear Window (1954)
14 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17 Usual Suspects, The (1995)
18 Amélie (2001)
19 Pulp Fiction (1994)
20 North by Northwest (1959)
21 Psycho (1960)
22 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
23 12 Angry Men (1957)
24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
25 It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
26 The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
27 Goodfellas (1990)
28 American Beauty (1999)
29 Vertigo (1958)
30 Pianist, The (2002)
31 Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32 Apocalypse Now (1979)
33 Some Like It Hot (1959)
34 Matrix, The (1999)
35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36 Taxi Driver (1976)
37 Third Man, The (1949)
38 Paths of Glory (1957)
39 Fight Club (1999)
40 Boot, Das (1981)
41 L.A. Confidential (1997)
42 Double Indemnity (1944)
43 Chinatown (1974)
44 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
45 Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
46 Singin' in the Rain (1952)
47 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
48 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
49 Saving Private Ryan (1998)
50 All About Eve (1950)
51 M (1931)
52 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
53 Raging Bull (1980)
54 Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
55 Se7en (1995)
56 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000)
57 Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
58 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
59 Vita e bella, La (1997)
60 American History X (1998)
61 Sting, The (1973)
62 Touch of Evil (1958)
63 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
64 Alien (1979)
65 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
66 Rashemon (1950)
67 Leon (1994)
68 Annie Hall (1977)
69 Great Escape, The (1963)
70 Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
71 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
72 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
73 Sixth Sense, The (1999)
74 Jaws (1975)
75 Amadeus (1984)
76 On the Waterfront (1954)
77 Ran (1985)
78 Braveheart (1995)
79 High Noon (1952)
80 Fargo (1996)
81 Blade Runner (1982)
82 Apartment, The (1960)
83 Aliens (1986)
84 Toy Story 2 (1999)
85 Strangers on a Train (1951)
86 Modern Times (1936)
87 Shining, The (1980)
88 Donnie Darko (2001)
89 Duck Soup (1933)
90 Princess Bride, The (1987)
91 Lola rennt (1998)
92 City Lights (1931)
93 General, The (1927)
94 Metropolis (1927)
95 Searchers, The (1956)
96 Full Metal Jacket
97 Notorious (1946)
98 Manhattan (1979)
99 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
100 Graduate, The (1967)
And now for something completely different...
1) THE BEST QUOTE/LINE I HAVE READ/HEARD TODAY IS:
"Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion."
2) IF I HAD TO CHANGE THE COLOUR OF ONE PART OF MY BODY, IT WOULD BE: My skin. The color is currently dead fish-belly white...I'd like a little tan.
3) THE WEIRDEST THING ABOUT MY BODY IS: My big fat ass. Bleurgh.
4) THE BEST THING ABOUT MY BODY IS: The rack is pretty okay...but I also have a nice smile.
5) IF I COULD HAVE ANY JOB FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, IT WOULD BE: Proofreading books for a living. I LOVE that.
6) SOME STUPID WIZARD OR SOMETHING AS DORKY IS ABOUT TO TURN YOU INTO A RANDOM OBJECT. WHAT WOULD BE THE BEST AND WORST OBJECTS?:
BEST: A guitar *wink wink*
WORST: A thong...*shudder*
7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE HOT OR COLD?: I have to take climate-controlled on this one...
8) IF YOU COULD HUG ONE PERSON RIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD IT BE?: Everyone on my blogroll. Especially Norman, because I have a weird blog-crush on him.
9) HOW MANY TIMES WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE REALY FAILED IN YOUR LIFE?: If failing means giving up...then probably once. Otherwise...I have NOT completed some things I've attempted, but not for lack of trying. I prefer to think of it as a growth experience. And then I rationalize it away.
10) IF YOU COULD TEACH THE WORLD ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: Can't we all just get along?
11) WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD SAY IF YOU SUDDENLY INHERITED SEVEN CHILDREN?: Ummm...isn't there anyone more qualified?
12) WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD SAY IF YOU SUDDENLY INHERITED A BILLION DOLLARS?: I wouldn't say anything, as I would have swallowed my tongue.
13) WHAT NUMBER DO YOU LEAST LIKE, FROM 1-10?: How can you not like numbers? Who thought of this question? For crap's sake.
14) WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE WORD?: It's nasty...I'll leave out the 'U'.
C*NT (grossest word ever invented. Bleh.)
15) MATH OR MUSIC?: Music!!
16) WHAT IS THE NAUGHTIEST JOKE YOU TELL PEOPLE?: The man, the whorehouse, & the blow-up doll.
17) IF YOU COULD BRING ONE PERSON BACK TO LIFE WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE OF HITTING THEM WITH A LARGE FOAM BAT, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?:
Hey, I've got plenty of people who are ALIVE right now that I'd like to hit with a bat.
18) errrmmm...what happened to number 18??
19) PINK OR GREY, OR BOTH?: Ick, neither.
20) WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR TOENAILS?: Metallic purple...I ALWAYS have painted toenails. It's the law.
21) BOYS: Boxers or Briefs? (I prefer my men to wear boxer-briefs. With little hearts)
GIRLS: Bikini or Grandma panties?
Depends on whether or not I have a date that night.
22) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RAINY-DAY ACTIVITY?
Hmmm...alone, reading. If I have company, then a leisurely day in bed. Snuggling. Or whatever.
23) MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL or CAMELOT?
Both. Always both.
24) IF I COULD MAGICALLY TRANSFORM INTO ANY OTHER PERSON FOR A WEEK, WHO WOULD IT BE & WHY?
A supermodel? No, I'd be too hungry...A politician? No, I'd abuse my power...
I think I have a hard enough time being me. Why add to the stress?
25) CARTOON NETWORK OR NICKELODEON?
DEFINITELY Cartoon Network...must have SPACE GHOST Coast to Coast
26) IF YOU COULD HOST A CURRENT TV TALK SHOW, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE & WHY?
Regis & Kelly...Get paid to act like a dumb blonde? COUNT ME IN!
27) DESCRIBE WHAT LOVE MEANS TO YOU...IN 6 WORDS OR LESS:
Tenderness, trust, honesty, excitement, contentment, passion
28) IF YOU WERE A SUPERHERO, WHAT WOULD YOUR NAME & SUPER-POWERS BE?:
I AM a superhero. I am the ANTI-TROLL AVENGER! I bring ruin and destruction to trolls. Unfortunately, they're usually too stupid to realize it.
29) SAY YOU INHERITED THAT BILLION DOLLARS. WHO DO YOU TELL FIRST? WHO'S THE LAST PERSON YOU WANT TO KNOW?
First...my mom. She'd deserve to be first in line for everything. :D (but second would be my ex-dork The Slacker so I could rub it in his face) Last...The Cheater (my kids' dad), because then he'd think he could stop paying the teeny bit of child support I get.
30) TOOTSIE-ROLL POPS: LICK OR CRUNCH?
mmmm....tootsie-rolls...gotta suck on 'em till you're ALMOST at the end...THEN crunch.
31) WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: No Sugar Tonight by The Guess Who
32) DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?: Yes, every day there are a hundred miracles we take for granted.
33) DO YOU STILL WISH ON STARS?: Naturally!
34) COKE OR PEPSI: COKE COKE COKE.
35) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: Many, many times...
36) HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN?: Many, many times...
37) DO YOU HAVE A MUSE?: If you mean like one of the gals from the movie Xanadu, then no.
38) IF YOU COULD INVENT ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?:
The Perfect Man.
39) SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE?: For my daughter, ABSOLUTELY NOT! For me...well...I'm not having any sex right now. Not right this minute, I mean. Or at any time in the last 6 months. Dammit.
40) LAST THING YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP: How grateful I am for having another day.
41) PERSON YOU MOST ADMIRE: I admire MANY people for MANY different reasons
42) WHAT WOULD YOUR PORN NAME BE?: Khandi Khane...sweet & sticky. That actually IS my phone-sex operator name. I mean, IF I were a phone sex operator. IF.
43) HEAVEN OR HELL? I believe in 'em both...I'm certain Heaven is where I want to be.
44) ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU STILL THINK ABOUT:
Most of the people in my past are still in my present. But in this case I'd have to say Underdog.
45) DOWNLOADING MUSIC FROM THE INTERNET, WRONG OR NOT: Of course I would never, ever do something like that...if there was a chance I'd get caught.
46) LOOK AROUND, WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: My daughter's BLUE RIBBON winning picture she painted in first grade
47) SHOT GUN WEDDING OR TRADITIONAL: I carry a shotgun to ALL my weddings. This is OkieLand, you know.
48) HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF MEETING YOUR DEMISE?: No idea. I certainly HOPE it's quick & painless...but with my luck...*sigh*
49) ORGAN DONATION?: Most definitely. If I kick, I've got no use for 'em anymore. SAVE A LIFE!
50) WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE WRITTEN ON YOUR TOMBSTONE?:
Depends on how many pepperonis are on there for me to spell something out with.
NOW! That concludes this session of Far too much information.
Please place all trash in the conveniently located containers as you leave.
Monty has left the building.
I've been tagged with a few memes that have been relegated to the back page.
Today they get to be the headliners.
First, we'll tackle the one given to me from both the lovely and brilliant Janet and the talented and creative Megan::
Total number of films I own:
Does this count all the ones I taped off HBO & Showtime? Because I've got those 3 movies/tape. I can't give you an accurate count, but I can tell you that I've got a 4 shelf bookcase double-and-triple stacked with videos. I'm going to guess somewhere in the neighborhood of 600. That's if I leave out my stash of porn.
The last film I bought:
THIS one I know...it was Love, Actually. I actually truly love that movie.
The last film I watched:
If we're counting films watched at the movie theater, then it was The Longest Yard, to which Brian and I attended the "Geek Club" showing. Too late for a matinee, too early for the "cool" crowd.
It's official~we've become ol' geezers. Should've asked for the senior discount.
Five favorite films I either watch frequently or that mean a lot to me:
Now, someone's feelings are going to be hurt...only FIVE favorites? *sigh*
Okay, off the top of my head, in no particular order:
1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2. Sense & Sensibility
3. Waiting For Guffman/A Mighty Wind (hehe, I cheated)
4. Any movie with Steve Martin (especially Parenthood & The Jerk) (I cheated again!)
5. The Quiet Man (Marquis of Queensbury rules!)
I want to change my answers already, because I have so many favorites...so I'll move on to the next meme & resist the temptation.
James hit me with this one...and it's nearly as tough for me as the movie one. So many books...so little time...
Total number of books owned:
Again, I can't give an accurate count. I've got crammed bookshelves, boxes of books in my bedroom, the attic, the garage, and random stacks of books all over my house. I'm estimating roughly 900 or so. Maybe (probably) more.
Last book bought:
OH OH! I know this one~Are You Afraid Of The Dark? by Sidney Sheldon and Therapy by Johnathan Kellerman.
I just got them last week (on payday~because I always treat myself to a book or two on payday).
Last book read:
I finished the Sidney Sheldon and am halfway through with the Kellerman.
Both most excellent.
Five books that mean a lot to you:
Again with the five? Can't I have more than that?
Okay, I'm so cheating on this one too.
1. ALL Stephen King books
2. ALL C.S. Lewis books (even the grown-up ones)
3. The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
4. The Bible (yeah, I read it even when it isn't Sunday)
5. Okay, pretty much any book I read more than once (which is all of them) mean something to me in some way. I re-read certain books when I'm in a certain mood~if I need to laugh, or to cry, or I want to be creeped out, and even sometimes when I need a little romance. And let's not forget the porn.
Now, to combine the two elements into one whole mess...
This one I stole from Easy over at Glory Road:
200 ways to procastinate.
Books.
Bold the ones you've read, italicize the ones you've read part of--
1984, George Orwell
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
Animal Farm, George Orwell
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
The BFG, Roald Dahl
Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
Bleak House, Charles Dickens
Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
Catch 22, Joseph Heller
The Catcher In The Rye, JD Salinger
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel(I've read all of hers)
Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
Dune, Frank Herbert
Emma, Jane Austen
Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
The Godfather, Mario Puzo
Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Sorceror's Stone, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
His Dark Materials trilogy, Philip Pullman
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Douglas Adams
The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
Holes, Louis Sachar
I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
Katherine, Anya Seton
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, CS Lewis
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
The Lord Of The Rings, JRR Tolkien
Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blighton
Magician, Raymond E Feist
The Magus, John Fowles
Matilda, Roald Dahl
Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
Middlemarch, George Eliot
Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie
Mort, Terry Pratchett
Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
On The Road, Jack Kerouac
One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
Perfume, Patrick Süskind
Persuasion, Jane Austen
The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
Pride And Prejudice, Jane Austen
The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
The Ragged Trousered Philantrhopists, Robert Tressell
Rebecca, Daphne Du Maurier
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
The Secret History, Donna Tartt
The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
The Stand, Stephen King
The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
Tess Of The D'urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee
A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
The Twits, Roald Dahl
Ulysses, James Joyce
Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
War And Peace, Leo Tolstoy
Watership Down, Richard Adams
The Wind In The Willows, Kenneth Grahame
Winnie-the-Pooh, AA Milne
The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
100 movies. Bold the ones that you've seen, italicize the ones that you've seen part of.
1 Godfather, The (1972)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
5 Schindler's List (1993)
6 Citizen Kane (1941)
7 Casablanca (1942)
8 Seven Samurai (1954)
9 Star Wars (1977)
10 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
11 Memento (2000)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
13 Rear Window (1954)
14 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17 Usual Suspects, The (1995)
18 Amélie (2001)
19 Pulp Fiction (1994)
20 North by Northwest (1959)
21 Psycho (1960)
22 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
23 12 Angry Men (1957)
24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
25 It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
26 The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
27 Goodfellas (1990)
28 American Beauty (1999)
29 Vertigo (1958)
30 Pianist, The (2002)
31 Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32 Apocalypse Now (1979)
33 Some Like It Hot (1959)
34 Matrix, The (1999)
35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36 Taxi Driver (1976)
37 Third Man, The (1949)
38 Paths of Glory (1957)
39 Fight Club (1999)
40 Boot, Das (1981)
41 L.A. Confidential (1997)
42 Double Indemnity (1944)
43 Chinatown (1974)
44 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
45 Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
46 Singin' in the Rain (1952)
47 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
48 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
49 Saving Private Ryan (1998)
50 All About Eve (1950)
51 M (1931)
52 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
53 Raging Bull (1980)
54 Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
55 Se7en (1995)
56 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000)
57 Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
58 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
59 Vita e bella, La (1997)
60 American History X (1998)
61 Sting, The (1973)
62 Touch of Evil (1958)
63 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
64 Alien (1979)
65 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
66 Rashemon (1950)
67 Leon (1994)
68 Annie Hall (1977)
69 Great Escape, The (1963)
70 Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
71 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
72 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
73 Sixth Sense, The (1999)
74 Jaws (1975)
75 Amadeus (1984)
76 On the Waterfront (1954)
77 Ran (1985)
78 Braveheart (1995)
79 High Noon (1952)
80 Fargo (1996)
81 Blade Runner (1982)
82 Apartment, The (1960)
83 Aliens (1986)
84 Toy Story 2 (1999)
85 Strangers on a Train (1951)
86 Modern Times (1936)
87 Shining, The (1980)
88 Donnie Darko (2001)
89 Duck Soup (1933)
90 Princess Bride, The (1987)
91 Lola rennt (1998)
92 City Lights (1931)
93 General, The (1927)
94 Metropolis (1927)
95 Searchers, The (1956)
96 Full Metal Jacket
97 Notorious (1946)
98 Manhattan (1979)
99 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
100 Graduate, The (1967)
And now for something completely different...
1) THE BEST QUOTE/LINE I HAVE READ/HEARD TODAY IS:
"Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion."
2) IF I HAD TO CHANGE THE COLOUR OF ONE PART OF MY BODY, IT WOULD BE: My skin. The color is currently dead fish-belly white...I'd like a little tan.
3) THE WEIRDEST THING ABOUT MY BODY IS: My big fat ass. Bleurgh.
4) THE BEST THING ABOUT MY BODY IS: The rack is pretty okay...but I also have a nice smile.
5) IF I COULD HAVE ANY JOB FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, IT WOULD BE: Proofreading books for a living. I LOVE that.
6) SOME STUPID WIZARD OR SOMETHING AS DORKY IS ABOUT TO TURN YOU INTO A RANDOM OBJECT. WHAT WOULD BE THE BEST AND WORST OBJECTS?:
BEST: A guitar *wink wink*
WORST: A thong...*shudder*
7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE HOT OR COLD?: I have to take climate-controlled on this one...
8) IF YOU COULD HUG ONE PERSON RIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD IT BE?: Everyone on my blogroll. Especially Norman, because I have a weird blog-crush on him.
9) HOW MANY TIMES WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE REALY FAILED IN YOUR LIFE?: If failing means giving up...then probably once. Otherwise...I have NOT completed some things I've attempted, but not for lack of trying. I prefer to think of it as a growth experience. And then I rationalize it away.
10) IF YOU COULD TEACH THE WORLD ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: Can't we all just get along?
11) WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD SAY IF YOU SUDDENLY INHERITED SEVEN CHILDREN?: Ummm...isn't there anyone more qualified?
12) WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD SAY IF YOU SUDDENLY INHERITED A BILLION DOLLARS?: I wouldn't say anything, as I would have swallowed my tongue.
13) WHAT NUMBER DO YOU LEAST LIKE, FROM 1-10?: How can you not like numbers? Who thought of this question? For crap's sake.
14) WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE WORD?: It's nasty...I'll leave out the 'U'.
C*NT (grossest word ever invented. Bleh.)
15) MATH OR MUSIC?: Music!!
16) WHAT IS THE NAUGHTIEST JOKE YOU TELL PEOPLE?: The man, the whorehouse, & the blow-up doll.
17) IF YOU COULD BRING ONE PERSON BACK TO LIFE WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE OF HITTING THEM WITH A LARGE FOAM BAT, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?:
Hey, I've got plenty of people who are ALIVE right now that I'd like to hit with a bat.
18) errrmmm...what happened to number 18??
19) PINK OR GREY, OR BOTH?: Ick, neither.
20) WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR TOENAILS?: Metallic purple...I ALWAYS have painted toenails. It's the law.
21) BOYS: Boxers or Briefs? (I prefer my men to wear boxer-briefs. With little hearts)
GIRLS: Bikini or Grandma panties?
Depends on whether or not I have a date that night.
22) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RAINY-DAY ACTIVITY?
Hmmm...alone, reading. If I have company, then a leisurely day in bed. Snuggling. Or whatever.
23) MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL or CAMELOT?
Both. Always both.
24) IF I COULD MAGICALLY TRANSFORM INTO ANY OTHER PERSON FOR A WEEK, WHO WOULD IT BE & WHY?
A supermodel? No, I'd be too hungry...A politician? No, I'd abuse my power...
I think I have a hard enough time being me. Why add to the stress?
25) CARTOON NETWORK OR NICKELODEON?
DEFINITELY Cartoon Network...must have SPACE GHOST Coast to Coast
26) IF YOU COULD HOST A CURRENT TV TALK SHOW, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE & WHY?
Regis & Kelly...Get paid to act like a dumb blonde? COUNT ME IN!
27) DESCRIBE WHAT LOVE MEANS TO YOU...IN 6 WORDS OR LESS:
Tenderness, trust, honesty, excitement, contentment, passion
28) IF YOU WERE A SUPERHERO, WHAT WOULD YOUR NAME & SUPER-POWERS BE?:
I AM a superhero. I am the ANTI-TROLL AVENGER! I bring ruin and destruction to trolls. Unfortunately, they're usually too stupid to realize it.
29) SAY YOU INHERITED THAT BILLION DOLLARS. WHO DO YOU TELL FIRST? WHO'S THE LAST PERSON YOU WANT TO KNOW?
First...my mom. She'd deserve to be first in line for everything. :D (but second would be my ex-dork The Slacker so I could rub it in his face) Last...The Cheater (my kids' dad), because then he'd think he could stop paying the teeny bit of child support I get.
30) TOOTSIE-ROLL POPS: LICK OR CRUNCH?
mmmm....tootsie-rolls...gotta suck on 'em till you're ALMOST at the end...THEN crunch.
31) WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: No Sugar Tonight by The Guess Who
32) DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?: Yes, every day there are a hundred miracles we take for granted.
33) DO YOU STILL WISH ON STARS?: Naturally!
34) COKE OR PEPSI: COKE COKE COKE.
35) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: Many, many times...
36) HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN?: Many, many times...
37) DO YOU HAVE A MUSE?: If you mean like one of the gals from the movie Xanadu, then no.
38) IF YOU COULD INVENT ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?:
The Perfect Man.
39) SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE?: For my daughter, ABSOLUTELY NOT! For me...well...I'm not having any sex right now. Not right this minute, I mean. Or at any time in the last 6 months. Dammit.
40) LAST THING YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP: How grateful I am for having another day.
41) PERSON YOU MOST ADMIRE: I admire MANY people for MANY different reasons
42) WHAT WOULD YOUR PORN NAME BE?: Khandi Khane...sweet & sticky. That actually IS my phone-sex operator name. I mean, IF I were a phone sex operator. IF.
43) HEAVEN OR HELL? I believe in 'em both...I'm certain Heaven is where I want to be.
44) ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU STILL THINK ABOUT:
Most of the people in my past are still in my present. But in this case I'd have to say Underdog.
45) DOWNLOADING MUSIC FROM THE INTERNET, WRONG OR NOT: Of course I would never, ever do something like that...if there was a chance I'd get caught.
46) LOOK AROUND, WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: My daughter's BLUE RIBBON winning picture she painted in first grade
47) SHOT GUN WEDDING OR TRADITIONAL: I carry a shotgun to ALL my weddings. This is OkieLand, you know.
48) HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF MEETING YOUR DEMISE?: No idea. I certainly HOPE it's quick & painless...but with my luck...*sigh*
49) ORGAN DONATION?: Most definitely. If I kick, I've got no use for 'em anymore. SAVE A LIFE!
50) WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE WRITTEN ON YOUR TOMBSTONE?:
Depends on how many pepperonis are on there for me to spell something out with.
NOW! That concludes this session of Far too much information.
Please place all trash in the conveniently located containers as you leave.
Monty has left the building.
I *heart* you.
THANKS FOR ALL THE VOTES, EVERYONE!
If I've promised you a kiss in exchange for your vote, I'll start handing those out this weekend. ;);)
If I've promised you $$...the check is in the mail. Or will be soon. For sure.
Next I wanted to send a big hug to Kevin at Poop'D Culture (the blogger formerly known as The Rant King). He thinks I rock! He says aka_monty is the best and the brightest, because I got nearly 2/3 of his movie quote quiz correct! He is in awe of my mental powers!
Okay, so maybe he didn't use those words exactly.
Or any of them, except for aka_monty and 2/3.
Shut up, you. I was just reading between the lines.
Now I have to give love to some of my absolute favorite people in the world: MommaK, J&J's Mom, Raehan, and Unga Chunga.
I was so jealous that they were getting to spend some time together that they found a way to include me. I just know I had the best time ever!
Thank you gals! Next time I am so there!
Now I have to tell you about Friday, when my friend Brian came to town. This was our second outing, and I was right~it was even more fun this time! I have to tell you ladies, Brian is the best dinner companion ever. I haven't laughed so much in ages. PLUS the added bonus of a movie, The Longest Yard.
All in all, a most excellent evening!
Thanks, Brian~ you sure know how to show a girl a good time! *wink wink*
Oh stop it, you perverts. ;)
Tune in tomorrow, for the big MEME BLOWOUT!
I've had several sitting in The Land of Draft for quite some time...
You'll enjoy it.
Trust me.
If I've promised you a kiss in exchange for your vote, I'll start handing those out this weekend. ;);)
If I've promised you $$...the check is in the mail. Or will be soon. For sure.
Next I wanted to send a big hug to Kevin at Poop'D Culture (the blogger formerly known as The Rant King). He thinks I rock! He says aka_monty is the best and the brightest, because I got nearly 2/3 of his movie quote quiz correct! He is in awe of my mental powers!
Okay, so maybe he didn't use those words exactly.
Or any of them, except for aka_monty and 2/3.
Shut up, you. I was just reading between the lines.
Now I have to give love to some of my absolute favorite people in the world: MommaK, J&J's Mom, Raehan, and Unga Chunga.
I was so jealous that they were getting to spend some time together that they found a way to include me. I just know I had the best time ever!
Thank you gals! Next time I am so there!
Now I have to tell you about Friday, when my friend Brian came to town. This was our second outing, and I was right~it was even more fun this time! I have to tell you ladies, Brian is the best dinner companion ever. I haven't laughed so much in ages. PLUS the added bonus of a movie, The Longest Yard.
All in all, a most excellent evening!
Thanks, Brian~ you sure know how to show a girl a good time! *wink wink*
Oh stop it, you perverts. ;)
Tune in tomorrow, for the big MEME BLOWOUT!
I've had several sitting in The Land of Draft for quite some time...
You'll enjoy it.
Trust me.
Monday, June 27, 2005
Have I told you lately that I love you? 'Cause I meant to. Really I did.
I am now offering bribes.
What's your price?
I really, really, really, really want to win. C'mon. Help a sistah out.
I seriously need to buy some AMAZON goodies~my wishlist is entirely out of control.
Did you know that you can vote for me EVERY SINGLE DAY?
You can! Exciting, isn't it?
I'm shameless. AND I'm begging.
These things I know.
I don't let that stop me. :)
What's your price?
I really, really, really, really want to win. C'mon. Help a sistah out.
I seriously need to buy some AMAZON goodies~my wishlist is entirely out of control.
Did you know that you can vote for me EVERY SINGLE DAY?
You can! Exciting, isn't it?
I'm shameless. AND I'm begging.
These things I know.
I don't let that stop me. :)
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Stupid is as stupid does, sir!
To everyone who has sent me email through my Gmail account:
My utter and sincere apologies, for in my moronic imbecility I forgot all about that account and have not checked it for more than 2 months.
I'm so sorry, especially if you've been waiting for a reply from me. I'm all over it.
UPDATED SUPERHEROES BELOW! We are taking over the Land Of Blog!
My utter and sincere apologies, for in my moronic imbecility I forgot all about that account and have not checked it for more than 2 months.
I'm so sorry, especially if you've been waiting for a reply from me. I'm all over it.
UPDATED SUPERHEROES BELOW! We are taking over the Land Of Blog!
Saturday, June 25, 2005
**UPDATED** LOOK! Up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a...
MOMMAK and I would like to welcome you to...
Make Your Own Blog Super Hero Weekend.
We have both invented Blog Super Heroes for ourselves and would like to invite you to do the same. Be sure to let us know if you'd like to play along, so we can add you to our...
(dat-da-da-daaa...)
"League of Super Bloggers"
MommaK: Super Fairy Blog Mother
This pretty pixie will grant you 3 wishes every time she visits you. She will sprinkle fairy dust on your blog and leave a quarter under your pillow each time someone adds you to their blogroll. She also is a bookie for betting on the Battle of the Blogs, so if you need any action- she's your girl. But if you lose, she'll be back to collect those quarters.
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Aka_Monty: Anti-Troll Avenger
Got a nasty troll infestation?
Just call the Anti-Troll Avenger!
Always on the job, she is happy to deliver the verbal smackdown, she attacks without warning those who would attempt insult, and always, always gets the last word.
Let her make your day with a little payback.
---------------------------------------------------
BRANDIE: The Bitchy Girl Wonder
Champion of all that is pissy and rant-worthy in the blogging world! I will defend your right to do as you please on your own blog-- be it bitching, moaning, bellyaching, or cussing like a sailor-- to the bitter end! And anyone who has a problem with what you have to say will have to deal with The Bitchy Girl Wonder's patented "Bitch Slap of Reason!"
And let us not forget she is also the Protector of Panties. I wonder if Brandie will be my sidekick~~play Robin to my Batman, Arthur to my Tick...
----------------------------------------------------
MW: Blog Precog
Can adroitly avoid being sent to blogs that will forever debilitate my psyche and lower extremities through the use of extraordinary perceptive abilities that can scent dangerous links on Michele's Meet & Greet.
----------------------------------------------------
EASY: The Weyrmaster. Guardian of travelers on The Glory Road.
Powers are ability to obscure the truth by spreading a fog of self-delusion. However, since I'm fundamentally lazy by nature, my pet dragon does most of the work.
-----------------------------------------------------
SLEEPINGMOMMY: Libra Girl
Able to balance family and chores on the end of a single pinky. Wise enough to remain neutral and unbiased yet defend her beliefs with conviction upon attack. But the balance is delicate so watch out, her moods can swing with the pendelum with little provocation. She's Libra Girl--She sees both sides of the issue and defends your right to your beliefs as long as you don't attack anyone else's!
-----------------------------------------------------
RAEHAN: Goofy Girl
Goofy girl makes her way through the blogosphere like a hurricane, leaving comments with strange and unpredictable force, sometimes terribly lengthy, sometimes strangely, awkwardly short, but always sloppy and bewildering. Her purpose is to spread confusion and thereby disorient trolls that are lurking in the corners or any comment room.
Yeah, she scares 'em out so's I can catch 'em! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!
-----------------------------------------------------
POOPIE: Sweet Thang With An Attitude
She'll listen to your rants and whines and actually TALK BACK! What a woman. Don't dare step on her cute 'lil toes though. She might just go off on a rant and never return to the land-o-fun and play. Coming soon to a theatre near you...the "One Your Mother Always Dreamed About For You" starring Poopie. Buy her liquor and show her what you've got and BOOM. You can save the world together! If not, you'll have a good time trying.
------------------------------------------------
TOMMY: The Villain
Thinking himself cool and stylin', The Villain spends a lot of time wandering aimlessly around, thinking dastardly thoughts and cackling madly to himself.
Unfortunately for him, he's really quite harmless.
Please try to act scared if you see him, he could use a nice ego boost.
-------------------------------------------------
Xtessa: The Asian Ecstasy
sexy and sassy, this introspective heroine wields her healing powers through laughter and inspiration. trained in the ancient arts sassiness, she will karate-chop anyone who belittles womanhood and motherhood! her favorite weapon, a quill made of phoenix feather!
You should see what she can do with that feather! I've heard stories...
------------------------------------------------
TRINE: The Thinker
Cursed with too many thoughts, a house too full of books and a sidekick who can quote academic texts like an encyclopedia, The Thinker will help you figure stuff out, share an idea with you every day and share in the delights of the literary canon, should you ever feel the need to quote Shakespeare or Stendhal in public... If not, make her day by leaving a comment in her virtual home.
--------------------------------------------------------
Square1:
The Grammar Fairy
The grammar fairy automatically comes in and fixes incorrect spelling, broken sentences, and bad grammar with a simple wave of her wand, but only if you are a good and kind blogger, that spreads goodness and cheer in the blogo-sphere. She, like every superhero, leads a normal life during the day... as a book editor.
----------------------------------------------------
True Jersey Girl: Bad-Ass Mama
She is a mom and blogger by day, party girl by night! Party catastrophe – your blender has broken in the middle of your fiesta? No need to fear, Badass Mama is here! Frozen margaritas for all! Need something vaguely interesting to read that won’t make you have to think but might make you laugh? Badass Mama to the rescue! She fights evil right-wingers with the greatest of ease, spreading liberal joy to all with a shake of her odd silver bra-like thing! She’s….Badass Mama! Our hero!
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soapbox.SUPERSTAR: Insomnia Girl
On less than 3 hours sleep per night, due to fussy baby syndrome, insomniagirl swoops through her days taking her children to their various schools, completing household chores and tackling large quantities of laundry all while simultaneously working her 8 to 5 where she takes no crap from the grown "children" on various construction jobsites. She bathes kiddos, wipes snot, sometimes cooks and can read a set of blueprints all while dragging a 15 month old from one leg, where he seems to be permanently attached. Will she get some sleep tonight? Only time will tell!
-------------------------------------------------------
Risible Girl: Couch Potato
With her trusty side-kick in one hand and a cup o' joe in the other, Couch Potato conquers the world by sitting on her butt all day. Her weapon is her razor-like wit, and snappy comebacks. She fights evil doers by threatening to blog about them if they don't behave. As long as it doesn't involve physical activity, you can count on Couch Potato to be by your side.
---------------------------------------------------
MELINDA: The Domestically Challenged Goddess
Don't ask this girl to cook, clean, iron or spend any length of time with children. Not if you like her, your taste buds or your kids. She's an event planning diva and her parties have anywhere from hundreds to thousands of people. She can hold a whole court of men enrapt with her wit and charm, while never having to pay for a cocktail. She can fit in anywhere except the kitchen. That, she's allergic to. The only thing she can make is reservations, but that she can do fabulously!
------------------------------------------------------
STEPH: The Caffeinator
Composer and musician by day, she is an Incurable Insomniac at night. Every night. Need to stay awake? Call The Caffeinator!
---------------------------------------------------------
Your Blog Super Hero Will Go Here
we just need an image and description from you!
What are you waiting for? Get creative and join us in helping to make the Blog World a better place!
Okay, I've put on the cape and the mask...but I am so not trying to squeeze these thighs into a pair of tights.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
EVERYONE knows that...
...You don't tug on Superman's cape.
But I sure wouldn't mind getting a peek at what Batman's packing under that bulging codpiece.
I'm just sayin'.
And now...some trivia.
ME: "SHIT! OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT HELL SHIT SHIT!"
Did I...
A. Oversleep?
B. Stub my toe?
or
C. Realize that I'd forgotten my son had summer school this morning?
**answer at the bottom of post
Tom, two words: Mid-life Crisis.
Wait...do hyphenated words count as one or two?
Katie, your boyfriend is fast becoming a laughingstock. You might want to rethink that whole engagement thingy.
Did I tell you that I worked the first half of the week with no air conditioning?
Yeah, they were re-tarring our roof. It was awful
Not to mention the creepy guys who kept peering in my window...*shudder*
And did I tell you that my BossLady offered me the opportunity to work 10 hrs/day Monday through Thursday so that I could have long weekends while the kids are out of school?
That's why no time for blogging. Until the weekend come. :)
Blatant advertising
If you're into those artsy-fartsy print t-shirts, I listed a bunch of 'em this week from Glima, Skinny Minnie, Nallie & Millie, & Custo Barcelona.
You should really check out BossLady's store.
You might find something groovy.
I do have a lovely day off planned for tomorrow...and with a fellow blogger, at that! He lives in the (general) vicinity, and as our last outing was so much fun, I assume and anticipate that this one will live up to and surpass the former.
I still have a couple of guest posts in my inbox...never fear, they will appear soon!
And SOMEONE has promised me a guest bitch...not to name any names *cough*janet*cough*...
MommaK and I have a little something fun planned to share with all of you...stay tuned!
**And the correct answer is...
HA! It was a trick question! You should've guessed
secret answer D. ALL OF THE ABOVE
OH! Someone has taken me off their blogroll. I know who it is~I just happened to notice when I was paying that someone a visit.
My feelings are actually a teensy bit hurt~in a fit of pique I almost reciprocated the gesture...but didn't.
I so did not expect to feel disappointed.
And that concludes today's programming. Please rise while we play the National Anthem.
That is all.
But I sure wouldn't mind getting a peek at what Batman's packing under that bulging codpiece.
I'm just sayin'.
And now...some trivia.
ME: "SHIT! OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT HELL SHIT SHIT!"
Did I...
A. Oversleep?
B. Stub my toe?
or
C. Realize that I'd forgotten my son had summer school this morning?
**answer at the bottom of post
Tom, two words: Mid-life Crisis.
Wait...do hyphenated words count as one or two?
Katie, your boyfriend is fast becoming a laughingstock. You might want to rethink that whole engagement thingy.
Did I tell you that I worked the first half of the week with no air conditioning?
Yeah, they were re-tarring our roof. It was awful
Not to mention the creepy guys who kept peering in my window...*shudder*
And did I tell you that my BossLady offered me the opportunity to work 10 hrs/day Monday through Thursday so that I could have long weekends while the kids are out of school?
That's why no time for blogging. Until the weekend come. :)
Blatant advertising
If you're into those artsy-fartsy print t-shirts, I listed a bunch of 'em this week from Glima, Skinny Minnie, Nallie & Millie, & Custo Barcelona.
You should really check out BossLady's store.
You might find something groovy.
I do have a lovely day off planned for tomorrow...and with a fellow blogger, at that! He lives in the (general) vicinity, and as our last outing was so much fun, I assume and anticipate that this one will live up to and surpass the former.
I still have a couple of guest posts in my inbox...never fear, they will appear soon!
And SOMEONE has promised me a guest bitch...not to name any names *cough*
MommaK and I have a little something fun planned to share with all of you...stay tuned!
**And the correct answer is...
HA! It was a trick question! You should've guessed
secret answer D. ALL OF THE ABOVE
OH! Someone has taken me off their blogroll. I know who it is~I just happened to notice when I was paying that someone a visit.
My feelings are actually a teensy bit hurt~in a fit of pique I almost reciprocated the gesture...but didn't.
I so did not expect to feel disappointed.
And that concludes today's programming. Please rise while we play the National Anthem.
That is all.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
What part of "NO!" don't you understand??!??
but first...
The Top Five Reasons why I will not be receiving the "Mother Of The Year" award...
5. My daughter's favorite CD is David Cassidy & The Partridge Family.
Shut up, it was a gift. Yeah. Yeah, a gift. I didn't buy it...mmm mmm, no sirree Bob.
4. I have taught my daughter the words to the song "Leprosy". You know, the one sung to the tune of "Yesterday".
3. I have also recently been teaching my daughter to play Texas Hold 'Em and Blackjack. I feel these are basic, useful skills that every 10 year old needs.
2. I allow her to play Hoyle Casino which is installed on my computer, even tho' she persists in calling it "Holy Casino". Hey, she made more than 3K yesterday playin' the ponies.
1. Last weekend I tried to coerce my daughter into tasting a dog treat.
She fooled me.
She took a bite.
Man, I love that kid. :)
our featured story...
Do you think friendship can be carried a bit too far?
Okay, so I was supposed to have dinner with friends on Saturday night. Unfortunately, on Friday night I twisted my back pretty badly whilst picking my son up off the floor. **note to self: lift with the legs, not the back**
So I called my friends on Saturday morning to do the whole rain-check thingy.
Apologize, explain, yada yada yada.
Four hours later, the phone rings.
I got tag-teamed by friend and friend's hubby.
HE: Have you seen the movie "Hitch"? We rented it, thought you might like it...thought we'd come on over to see how you were doing & watch the movie.
ME: Ummm...my back still really hurts, but thanks anyway! That's sweet of you. Plus you just want to show off your new car. (The last part was
HE: *laugh* No, no, we just thought we'd keep you company. Here, hold on.
ME: MMmmkay.
SHE: HEY! We decided that we'd come on out to see you, keep you company. Order us some pizza.
ME: Oh, how nice of you to think of me! But seriously, my house is such a mess (which it was) 'cause I couldn't get around to clean it...it's really awful.
SHE: Oh, you know we don't mind. It's no problem.
ME: Oh...but it's really bad. Plus my back is hurting something awful. I just want to lay in bed on the heating pad. Plus we just ate pizza an hour ago.
SHE: You know you don't have to entertain us! And we'll just feed ourselves then before we come over. We'll just hook your heating pad up in the living room. Got any IcyHot we can rub on your back? Do we need to stop and get you some?
ME: No...no, I've got some stuff. But I just took a Flexaril, and those make me really sleepy and a little loopy. I don't think I'd be good company.
SHE: You don't have to entertain us at all! Just prop your feet up, relax, watch a movie. Really, it's no problem.
no problem for whom? Steam is beginning to pour forth from my ears at this time. My only excuse for allowing myself to be steamrolled completely is that I was in a seriously weakened condition.
So naturally, they win.
Naturally, I get up to do the 20 Minute Fluff and Stuff cleaning technique....only it took me about 45 minutes because I had to hobble.
They get here, we visit...she goes over to my mom's to show THEM the new car...we've been friends long enough to be part of each other's families...then mom & dad send over food~dad decided to cook out.
Bear in mind that THEY have just eaten before they got here.
SHE: Is this a pork chop?
ME: No, I think it's a T-Bone.
SHE: Oh. I just asked because it's dry.
**which it was, to be fair...my dad always overcooks steak on the grill. I like mine medium and a bit bloody...I prefer my brother (aka The GrillMeister) to cook the steaks. He gets mine just right.
But hey, beggars can't be choosers.
Am I right, or am I right?
I thought it was a bit nervy of her to say so.
Although I could just be out of sorts because of the pain.
And when the kids went outside to play, her
This made her a teensy bit pissy.
Okay, I can understand that...
...but she seems to forget that last time we were at her house and her dog kept pouncing on my daughter because my daughter had the misfortune to be sitting in the glider (outside) that the dog had apparently claimed as her own spot...
Friend said "Well, as long as she keeps sitting in Breeze's spot, the dog will keep jumping on her..."
I'm still very bent out of shape about the whole thing.
Perhaps I'm an ungrateful wretch.
But I don't think so.
Thought Of The Day...
You ever notice that when people on TV or a movie have sex, the women still manage to look perfectly groomed when they're done?
I want more realism. I want to see what I see in the mirror (if memory serves) after I've just had sex...
Tangled, sweaty hair and smeary makeup.
Not pretty.
But satisfied.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Happy International Blogger's Day!
but first...
I guess the sequinned, sparkly glove didn't fit.
Today is the celebration of bloggers, by bloggers, for bloggers.
Please click the button above to find out more.
Now, in agreeing to participate, they ask that you post about...well, blogging, today.
I thought I'd just say a few words on what I get out of blogging. The reasons why I keep doing it.
I started blogging just to say what I have to say, in hopes that someone might get a laugh now & then or might offer a bit of sympathy if I were in need of some. I didn't really expect to have many readers, nor make so many friends.
This is really a...Fluff-N-Stuff blog, if you ask me...rarely do I post anything particularly meaningful or earth shattering.
But rarely do I say anything meaningful or earth shattering in real life, either.
So why do we keep blogging?
We find friendship.
We find compassion.
We find laughter..and tears.
We find support and encouragement.
We find an audience.
We find adversaries who become lovers.
We find true love...our soulmates.
we find incredible artistic talent, whether it be writing, painting, music, or any other art.
We find tragedy and heartbreak.
We find joy and celebration.
We find birth and death, weddings and divorces.
We find wishes, hopes, and dreams.
We find sarcasm and humor, we find hate-mongers and sad stories.
We find mystery and intrigue.
We find knitting patterns and recipes.
We find cats, dogs, bunnies, horses, and hamsters. And the occasional goat.
We find left-wing/right-wing/conservative/liberal/radical/democrat/republican/independents
We find religion.
We find whackos and nutjobs.
We find idiots and assholes.
We find information, education, and knowledge.
We find boring people who appear to have never had an original thought.
We find boring people who are just truly, exceptionally boring.
We find self-styled (pseudo) intellectuals who fill their posts with $10 words that, once you dig through the whole mess of claptrap and double-talk, really don't say much at all.
We find annoying morons hoo think it iz kewl 2 TyP lYk ThIs.
We find CEOs and SAHMs.
We find truly brilliant people.
We find mommies, daddies, brothers, sisters, cousins...and so on.
We find music and movie reviews.
We find sex, drugs, and rock & roll.
We find some awesome porn. Or so I hear.
We find the occasional troll.
Mostly, we just find each other. We forge bonds and friendships, dislikes, crushes, hatreds...
...and the thin threads of our commonalities are knit together into a unique, interesting, and beautiful (if somewhat warped and off-center) pattern.
Blogging. It makes the world a little smaller.
Monday, June 13, 2005
GUEST POST #487945 :)
but first...
My brother and my cousin are firmly convinced that they invented the "Diarrhea Song", and if they'd only known (that long, horrible summer when they were 8-ish and I babysat the littleshits brats boys for nearly three months) to get a copyright, we'd all be rich by now.
*sigh*
But they did come up with many imaginative (and disgusting) verses.
"When you're takin' a bath & see a little brown path..."
"When you know you're gonna lose 'cause it's squishin' in your shoes..."
"When you're runnin' down the street and it's coverin' your feet..."
"When you're movin' really slow 'cause your butt is gonna blow..."
And way too many more.
*gak*
Now, please welcome today's Guest Blogger (who is also fairly new to my acquaintance), Ivy. She is a fabulous and interesting writer, and I strongly suggest you check out her poetry!
Ivy is a talented poet, and I think you'll find her blog quite interesting!
Now, she has something personal to say today...
To my fading friend,
I didn't ask for this. I didn't shove you out that door. It's always been a two way street.
Just like you say you cant make your marriage work alone. I can't make this friendship work alone. I refuse to feel guilty when you are the one walking away. We made the site together. You apparently have no idea just how much you have contributed. I don't know what the fuck you want me to say. What is it you need exactly? Do you need praise? Do you need everyone to say what a great job you are doing? Do you need a pat on the back? Do you need me to constantly thank you? I don't get the praise, I don't get the "Great Job", I don't get a pat on the back. And no one thanks me. But I do thank you. I do it all the time. I really don't know what else to do.
You say the ladies don't like you the way they do me. BULLSHIT! You have to try. You have to put something in to get something back. You shut down a long while back and that's not my fault and it's not the sites fault. I'm really not sure that it has anything to do with the site.
Running a site with forums takes strength. It takes knowing when to give and when to take. You won't always like everyone you come into contact with. It may be the net but its still alot like life in the people you are going to deal with. I cant change that for you.
You say that I do everything myself. All I can take that to mean is that you feel I've left you out.
I would more than happy to let you update pages and the site. If only you knew how to code. You don't even know what an ftp client is. I've tried to walk you through it. You said you didn't want to handle that part of the site. That you were cool running the boards.
I don't even know where we stand. You say you are walking away from the site. I feel like you are walking away from me too. Somehow I've done something to you or I haven't been there enough for you. I don't know. You stopped calling and stopped getting online yet you lay that blame on me. I can't and wont pull the weight alone.
Yet even with my little bitch fest I still feel like shit about this.
Its neither here nor there. I feel like you are blaming me for this. And we both know it's not me. Its something deep inside you. Something you have to work out. Nothing has changed on my end. Its the same old shit its always been. I handle my work just like always. If you don't feel like you do enough. Take initiative and do something about it.
Now everyone is mad at me because I won't beg you to stay. I feel this is what you really want and that you are making excuses so that its easier for you to walk away.
Stand up! Be real, be honest with yourself, Don't lie to me. You want to leave? That's Okay. I can understand when you are just over something. BUT! DON'T lay the blame on me!
Thank you, Ivy, for sharing your frustrations with us! I think that many of us have felt the same way (although in different situations, most probably), and it is terribly stressful when we feel someone is trying to manipulate us.
Excellent work!
My brother and my cousin are firmly convinced that they invented the "Diarrhea Song", and if they'd only known (that long, horrible summer when they were 8-ish and I babysat the little
*sigh*
But they did come up with many imaginative (and disgusting) verses.
"When you're takin' a bath & see a little brown path..."
"When you know you're gonna lose 'cause it's squishin' in your shoes..."
"When you're runnin' down the street and it's coverin' your feet..."
"When you're movin' really slow 'cause your butt is gonna blow..."
And way too many more.
*gak*
Now, please welcome today's Guest Blogger (who is also fairly new to my acquaintance), Ivy. She is a fabulous and interesting writer, and I strongly suggest you check out her poetry!
Ivy is a talented poet, and I think you'll find her blog quite interesting!
Now, she has something personal to say today...
To my fading friend,
I didn't ask for this. I didn't shove you out that door. It's always been a two way street.
Just like you say you cant make your marriage work alone. I can't make this friendship work alone. I refuse to feel guilty when you are the one walking away. We made the site together. You apparently have no idea just how much you have contributed. I don't know what the fuck you want me to say. What is it you need exactly? Do you need praise? Do you need everyone to say what a great job you are doing? Do you need a pat on the back? Do you need me to constantly thank you? I don't get the praise, I don't get the "Great Job", I don't get a pat on the back. And no one thanks me. But I do thank you. I do it all the time. I really don't know what else to do.
You say the ladies don't like you the way they do me. BULLSHIT! You have to try. You have to put something in to get something back. You shut down a long while back and that's not my fault and it's not the sites fault. I'm really not sure that it has anything to do with the site.
Running a site with forums takes strength. It takes knowing when to give and when to take. You won't always like everyone you come into contact with. It may be the net but its still alot like life in the people you are going to deal with. I cant change that for you.
You say that I do everything myself. All I can take that to mean is that you feel I've left you out.
I would more than happy to let you update pages and the site. If only you knew how to code. You don't even know what an ftp client is. I've tried to walk you through it. You said you didn't want to handle that part of the site. That you were cool running the boards.
I don't even know where we stand. You say you are walking away from the site. I feel like you are walking away from me too. Somehow I've done something to you or I haven't been there enough for you. I don't know. You stopped calling and stopped getting online yet you lay that blame on me. I can't and wont pull the weight alone.
Yet even with my little bitch fest I still feel like shit about this.
Its neither here nor there. I feel like you are blaming me for this. And we both know it's not me. Its something deep inside you. Something you have to work out. Nothing has changed on my end. Its the same old shit its always been. I handle my work just like always. If you don't feel like you do enough. Take initiative and do something about it.
Now everyone is mad at me because I won't beg you to stay. I feel this is what you really want and that you are making excuses so that its easier for you to walk away.
Stand up! Be real, be honest with yourself, Don't lie to me. You want to leave? That's Okay. I can understand when you are just over something. BUT! DON'T lay the blame on me!
Thank you, Ivy, for sharing your frustrations with us! I think that many of us have felt the same way (although in different situations, most probably), and it is terribly stressful when we feel someone is trying to manipulate us.
Excellent work!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
And the next guest spot goes to...
but first...
I do so admire a man who can admit he has a problem. Who isn't afraid to say he acted in a shameful manner. Who can, with great sincerity and humility, offer a public apology.
You're such the ultimate bad boy...but for all these reasons (and more), I still love you, Russell.
Now, I wish you all to give an extra-warm welcome to today's guest blogger, Steph, of The Incurable Insomniac.
She is one of the most incredibly talented people I've ever had the pleasure to know...composer, accomplished musician, and author. She's a most excellent writer~and paints glorious word pictures to make even the mundanities of life seem special. Steph has suffered much tragedy in her life, but despite that she appears to have managed to find a sense of balance, peace, and has managed to retain a sense of humor.
I have to add, proudly, that she's a fellow Okielander, at least at the present time.
Steph's guest post today is more of a personal venting, and I know that many of us will be able to relate to some of her situations. She shows her courage in openly sharing her life with us.
So please do what you all do best...offer her your warm support, encouragement, and friendship.
Here we go!
I pretty much like everybody and I seldom meet someone I can’t find at least some small quality I can focus on if they turn out to be a nimrod. This “naïveté” of mine sometimes exposes me to people who don’t have my best interests at heart, I admit. Friends and family have handed out yards of advice, telling me I need to practice selective vulnerability and not to emotionally embrace someone the moment I meet them. But I’d rather be open and risk getting hurt once in while than close down and miss out on befriending some really great people. I’m also not one to complain all that much about the hurts I’ve experienced throughout my life, but when Monty gave us the opportunity to vent I just had to jump on it. Having addressed those people who hurt me the most, I feel much better now. Sorry if a few of them are a bit negative, but hey.
These are in alphabetical order, not in the order of the severity of my vent.
To AS (a fellow author who slandered me all over the web): You can’t write and you can’t research. Hell, you can’t even come up with a thought of your own. No wonder you resort to tacky character assassinations when someone sees through you. Stay Down Under where you belong and find another career. Writing books is not your forte.
To CU (a childhood friend who became my manager many years ago, and who has suddenly resurfaced after 15 years): Has it ever occurred to you that I don’t answer your emails and phone calls because I might not want to be in touch with you? Do you think that maybe the way you swindled me out of 150 of my own compositions, plus sixty percent of anything they might have made back in the 80’s might have something to do with it?
To DB (a crank fan): You’re really sick. Seek help soon. Face it, Mozart is not your cabbage patch lover, so put the doll in the closet and start sleeping with your husband again.
To KH (a dangerous fan turned stalker): Just f***ing leave me alone. Quit stalking me and get a life. Jebus tits on toast! It’s been three years!
(Steph, you can say 'fuck' on here. It's really okay. :) )
To LT (an ex-lover): I can’t believe I wasted four years on you, you abusive, gold digging bitch. Thanks to you I lost my good credit rating, my piano, my personal belongings, my reputation, my self-esteem and nearly my mind. Thanks too for killing my mentor by adding to his already delicate stress level with your lies and back-stabbing.
To MD (an ex-girlfriend): Maybe someday you’ll pull your vacuous head out of that big ass of yours and realize that you’ve burned and consumed nearly everyone who ever cared about you.
To MM (a self-published author who was going to publish my book, but pulled out 2 weeks before it went to print, with no explanation. I still don’t know why): I hope your karma finds you. Quickly. But maybe it already has. My career is blooming without your help, while you’re still just a slug in the desert.
To RW (my older brother): I hope you rot in hell. Forcing sex on me from the ages of 2 to 11 was just plain evil. I hope trading my pound of flesh in for the impotence you’ve had for the past twenty-five years was worth it to you.
To SS (a groupie who won’t go away): Go play with yourself.
To TS (a deceased friend’s lover): You killed our best friend by not telling him you had AIDS. My only consolation is that you’re dead now, too.
To WW (my mom): You hurt me over and over again in so many ways. I understand where your pain came from and forgive you, but I sure am happier now that you’re gone. I never knew life could be so calm and fear-free.
Thank you, Steph, for sharing with us. My heart goes out to you, and I admire your courage and perseverance in your life.
Now, go visit the fabulous Steph and share some love.
I do so admire a man who can admit he has a problem. Who isn't afraid to say he acted in a shameful manner. Who can, with great sincerity and humility, offer a public apology.
You're such the ultimate bad boy...but for all these reasons (and more), I still love you, Russell.
Now, I wish you all to give an extra-warm welcome to today's guest blogger, Steph, of The Incurable Insomniac.
She is one of the most incredibly talented people I've ever had the pleasure to know...composer, accomplished musician, and author. She's a most excellent writer~and paints glorious word pictures to make even the mundanities of life seem special. Steph has suffered much tragedy in her life, but despite that she appears to have managed to find a sense of balance, peace, and has managed to retain a sense of humor.
I have to add, proudly, that she's a fellow Okielander, at least at the present time.
Steph's guest post today is more of a personal venting, and I know that many of us will be able to relate to some of her situations. She shows her courage in openly sharing her life with us.
So please do what you all do best...offer her your warm support, encouragement, and friendship.
Here we go!
I pretty much like everybody and I seldom meet someone I can’t find at least some small quality I can focus on if they turn out to be a nimrod. This “naïveté” of mine sometimes exposes me to people who don’t have my best interests at heart, I admit. Friends and family have handed out yards of advice, telling me I need to practice selective vulnerability and not to emotionally embrace someone the moment I meet them. But I’d rather be open and risk getting hurt once in while than close down and miss out on befriending some really great people. I’m also not one to complain all that much about the hurts I’ve experienced throughout my life, but when Monty gave us the opportunity to vent I just had to jump on it. Having addressed those people who hurt me the most, I feel much better now. Sorry if a few of them are a bit negative, but hey.
These are in alphabetical order, not in the order of the severity of my vent.
To AS (a fellow author who slandered me all over the web): You can’t write and you can’t research. Hell, you can’t even come up with a thought of your own. No wonder you resort to tacky character assassinations when someone sees through you. Stay Down Under where you belong and find another career. Writing books is not your forte.
To CU (a childhood friend who became my manager many years ago, and who has suddenly resurfaced after 15 years): Has it ever occurred to you that I don’t answer your emails and phone calls because I might not want to be in touch with you? Do you think that maybe the way you swindled me out of 150 of my own compositions, plus sixty percent of anything they might have made back in the 80’s might have something to do with it?
To DB (a crank fan): You’re really sick. Seek help soon. Face it, Mozart is not your cabbage patch lover, so put the doll in the closet and start sleeping with your husband again.
To KH (a dangerous fan turned stalker): Just f***ing leave me alone. Quit stalking me and get a life. Jebus tits on toast! It’s been three years!
(Steph, you can say 'fuck' on here. It's really okay. :) )
To LT (an ex-lover): I can’t believe I wasted four years on you, you abusive, gold digging bitch. Thanks to you I lost my good credit rating, my piano, my personal belongings, my reputation, my self-esteem and nearly my mind. Thanks too for killing my mentor by adding to his already delicate stress level with your lies and back-stabbing.
To MD (an ex-girlfriend): Maybe someday you’ll pull your vacuous head out of that big ass of yours and realize that you’ve burned and consumed nearly everyone who ever cared about you.
To MM (a self-published author who was going to publish my book, but pulled out 2 weeks before it went to print, with no explanation. I still don’t know why): I hope your karma finds you. Quickly. But maybe it already has. My career is blooming without your help, while you’re still just a slug in the desert.
To RW (my older brother): I hope you rot in hell. Forcing sex on me from the ages of 2 to 11 was just plain evil. I hope trading my pound of flesh in for the impotence you’ve had for the past twenty-five years was worth it to you.
To SS (a groupie who won’t go away): Go play with yourself.
To TS (a deceased friend’s lover): You killed our best friend by not telling him you had AIDS. My only consolation is that you’re dead now, too.
To WW (my mom): You hurt me over and over again in so many ways. I understand where your pain came from and forgive you, but I sure am happier now that you’re gone. I never knew life could be so calm and fear-free.
Thank you, Steph, for sharing with us. My heart goes out to you, and I admire your courage and perseverance in your life.
Now, go visit the fabulous Steph and share some love.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Keepin' the ball rollin'...UPDATE UPDATE
**UPDATE**
I had actually visited Phancykat's blog once before...please forgive me for not remembering! Damned CRS disease...
ANYWAY.
Please go and share the comment love with Phancykat for a most excellent guest post!
but first...
It is hard to be a good internet stalker when the person you're stalking refuses to pay any attention to you.
It's (almost) enough to make a girl quit.
and then...
I have to give a big ol' SHOUT OUT to my very dear friend Ashley, without whom I would not be able to enjoy my twice weekly Venti Mocha Frappe that is provided by the terrifically appreciated STARBUCKS GIFT CARDS that she's been sending me as gifts for the past couple years.
I love her dearly, even though she's an American-hating Canuck. ;) Lucky for me I'm exempted from that.
Thank you so much, Ashley.
You're the best.
We've had a last minute switch in guest bloggers today, due to a re-write.
So today we are going to welcome a guest blogger who is new to my acquaintance. So new, in fact, that I don't even know if she's got a blog! Phancykat, if you do, please send me a link!
She did, however, introduce me to a fabulous site that in my opinion contains the best idea ever~~Releasing books into the wild! Now, most of you know I'm not one to be able to part with my precious books; however, I do have two copies of several of my favorites, and those I am persuaded to part with. It is a wonderful idea, and I will hope that my books that I release to be hunted will be found an appreciated by their new owners.
Please make sure you take a page from Phancycat's book and check out http://www.bookcrossing.com.
Sign up. It'll be fun! Who knows...someday I might even get one of your books!
Now, Phancycat has a safety issue on her mind, and offers us all some very good advice. Please take it to heart, and make yourselves more aware.
Please, for the love of God, teach your children safety and laws regarding bicycles, scooters, skateboards, anything that involves them sharing the road with cars. Reinforce how dangerous AND deadly a run-in with a car can be.
On my way to work today, a child no older than 7 swerved on his scooter right in front of me. If I hadn't been paying more attention, I would have taken him out. He and his friend were riding their scooters on a 2 lane street with cars coming in both directions, and instead of stopping and letting the cars pass, or getting out of the way, one kid went to one side of the road, and the other kid went down the middle between the cars coming at him from opposite directions.
Here are some things every child and parent should know:
· If a bicycle is driving against the flow of traffic and is hit, it is the bicycle rider's fault. They can be sued for damages to the vehicle that hits them.
· Cars can kill you. Swerving in front of them is not a game.
· If cars are coming at you from both directions, GET OUT OF THE WAY!
I don't want to sound like I'm mean & don't think children should be allowed to play in the streets. I remember being a child and all the fun I had playing, frolicking, riding my bike, but it seems to me there was a greater fear/respect for the cars on the road back then (which was not so long ago). I am just concerned for the safety of your children, and don't want to have to deal with the burden if one of them were to hurt themselves on my car.
Thank you, Phancycat, for helping us to be aware! I'd like to think that most of us keep a pretty good eye on our kids, but there are always those parents who send their children outside to play just to get them out of the house, with no supervision.
Let's all have a little refresher course with our kids about proper safety procedures, shall we?
I had actually visited Phancykat's blog once before...please forgive me for not remembering! Damned CRS disease...
ANYWAY.
Please go and share the comment love with Phancykat for a most excellent guest post!
but first...
It is hard to be a good internet stalker when the person you're stalking refuses to pay any attention to you.
It's (almost) enough to make a girl quit.
and then...
I have to give a big ol' SHOUT OUT to my very dear friend Ashley, without whom I would not be able to enjoy my twice weekly Venti Mocha Frappe that is provided by the terrifically appreciated STARBUCKS GIFT CARDS that she's been sending me as gifts for the past couple years.
I love her dearly, even though she's an American-hating Canuck. ;) Lucky for me I'm exempted from that.
Thank you so much, Ashley.
You're the best.
We've had a last minute switch in guest bloggers today, due to a re-write.
So today we are going to welcome a guest blogger who is new to my acquaintance. So new, in fact, that I don't even know if she's got a blog! Phancykat, if you do, please send me a link!
She did, however, introduce me to a fabulous site that in my opinion contains the best idea ever~~Releasing books into the wild! Now, most of you know I'm not one to be able to part with my precious books; however, I do have two copies of several of my favorites, and those I am persuaded to part with. It is a wonderful idea, and I will hope that my books that I release to be hunted will be found an appreciated by their new owners.
Please make sure you take a page from Phancycat's book and check out http://www.bookcrossing.com.
Sign up. It'll be fun! Who knows...someday I might even get one of your books!
Now, Phancycat has a safety issue on her mind, and offers us all some very good advice. Please take it to heart, and make yourselves more aware.
Please, for the love of God, teach your children safety and laws regarding bicycles, scooters, skateboards, anything that involves them sharing the road with cars. Reinforce how dangerous AND deadly a run-in with a car can be.
On my way to work today, a child no older than 7 swerved on his scooter right in front of me. If I hadn't been paying more attention, I would have taken him out. He and his friend were riding their scooters on a 2 lane street with cars coming in both directions, and instead of stopping and letting the cars pass, or getting out of the way, one kid went to one side of the road, and the other kid went down the middle between the cars coming at him from opposite directions.
Here are some things every child and parent should know:
· If a bicycle is driving against the flow of traffic and is hit, it is the bicycle rider's fault. They can be sued for damages to the vehicle that hits them.
· Cars can kill you. Swerving in front of them is not a game.
· If cars are coming at you from both directions, GET OUT OF THE WAY!
I don't want to sound like I'm mean & don't think children should be allowed to play in the streets. I remember being a child and all the fun I had playing, frolicking, riding my bike, but it seems to me there was a greater fear/respect for the cars on the road back then (which was not so long ago). I am just concerned for the safety of your children, and don't want to have to deal with the burden if one of them were to hurt themselves on my car.
Thank you, Phancycat, for helping us to be aware! I'd like to think that most of us keep a pretty good eye on our kids, but there are always those parents who send their children outside to play just to get them out of the house, with no supervision.
Let's all have a little refresher course with our kids about proper safety procedures, shall we?
Thursday, June 09, 2005
There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you...
A couple of days ago, I was thinking deep thoughts and prepared a post about those thoughts. In deference to my Guest
It is proof positive that great minds do, indeed, think alike.
There are many of us who really, really hate to think about death, avoiding it at all costs. Then there are those who obsess about it.
I fall somewhere in the middle. I don't necessarily avoid thinking about it, but it doesn't occupy my every waking thought.
Perhaps because of the recent death of a loved one, it has been on my mind more frequently.
I started along the line of thinking...
"If something were to happen to me, how would anyone know?"
Seriously, would you just come here every week or so, only to find the same old post up? No updates for months & months? Would you think that I had simply deserted you without a word?
And my friends that I talk to on the phone, my friends that I regularly chat online with, the ones who live in other countries, the people I exchange email with frequently...
How would anyone in my family know who to spread the word to? My family has no idea about my personal life, for the most part. Or my internet life. Or any part of my life that I choose not to share with them.
Would you even miss me?
I'd like to think that some of you might experience a little sorrow if I were to disappear from Blogdome Come.
And those thoughts led to...
"What if something happened to you??"
How would I know? Is there anyone in your family who would be sure to email me, call me, or make a blog entry to share the news? Do you feel like it would be my right to know?
Because I would certainly miss you. Greatly.
I would most probably cry if you ever left me.
I would send emails to try & contact you until they started bouncing. I would wonder if perhaps you just didn't like me anymore, or didn't want to talk to me for some reason. I would wonder if I'd pissed you off. Or offended you deeply. Or something.
I would have a gaping space inside that only you can fill.
Now, call me silly if you must (and I will tell you to shut the hell up if you do)...
but I have begun to prepare a list which I shall put in a safe place, with instructions for my family.
This list will contain phone numbers and email addresses of the people who I think might want to know if I were taken from this earth. And my family will be instructed to make sure those people get the news.
I could have made some mistakes...maybe you don't really want to know.
But if it were me on the receiving end, I can certainly say, without a doubt...I would want to know.
So if you get an email someday with the subject line REGARDING AKA_MONTY...
open it, or not. It will be from my family.
on a lighter note...
For those of us who have jumped on the Bloggintology bandwagon, the fabulous Elle has given us some commandments for her new religion.
I'm hoping she doesn't decide to make us wear those wooly, itchy robes. *shudder*
But I'm guessing I'd probably wear them if she told me too.. :)
Now for those who would like to join the new religion, here are the commandments of Bloggintology:
1. There is a Bloggintology God, and I'm pretty sure he looks something like this: :)
2. There shall be no other Bloggintology God's besides this one. Well, you can have as many as you want, they can be real or that cartoon thing "Anime" that everyone obsesses about.
3. Never take your blog for granted, and spread some comment love, don't lurk.
4. Remember the holy day, which is on the weekend when you play the comment game over at Michele's.
5. Honor your blogfather or your blogmother. This can be done by occasionally mentioning them in a post or by blogrolling them.
6. Thou shall not be a troll to other bloggers.
7. Thou shall not commit adultery, although I'm not sure how you would with a blog.
8. Thou shall not steal another's blog template.
9. Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor, provide links.
10.Thou shall not covet your neighbor's post but feel free to pick up any memes you'd like.
Thank you, Elle! Now, when's our first service?
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
And the next Guest Blogger is...
...the charming and clever ELLE! Fabulous and funny, and yet another of my favorites. Let us give her a warm round of applause.
but first...
Remember a couple weeks ago when I told you I met Dr. Hottie, the dentist next door? Well today I met the neighbor on the other side.
We'll call him Mr. Investigator, as he works for a company called the American Bureau of Investigation.
Despite the unibrow, still very nice looking.
I'm sure he's quite taken with me already, because when he walked in I had just taken a huge yummy, drippy bite of my Braum's cheeseburger.
There may have even been some lettuce still clinging to my lower lip. Or maybe it was sliding down my chin.
I'm pretty as a picture, yes? ;)
AND...
we exchanged phone numbers (once I wiped the tomato juice and mayo from my hand).
Fast worker, you say?
I say...
YEAH BABY!
Okay, the truth...he wondered if he could have UPS (pronounced "OOPS") deliver a package here, and if I would mind giving him a call if it got here before I left. And he took my number as well...perhaps he thinks (quite rightly, in fact) that I have short term memory loss.
Or maybe he just thinks I'm a dumb blonde.
On with the show! And I should add that if you've never visited Elle, make tracks on over there. She cracks me up. And she says important things sometimes, too. :)
This particular piece...well, I'm just sorry I didn't say it first. OR as well as she did.
A love letter to Tom.
Dear Tom:
You are so hot!! I first fell in love with in you Taps. You were sooo cute in
your little army outfit! Then when I saw you in Top Gun I really fell hard for
you. How can anyone be spared when they saw how darling you looked in your
aviator
togs. As the Vampire Lestat, I wanted you to bite my neck (ooooooh chills) and
suck out all my blood.
But I'm sorry to tell you, I have to break up with you. Our long love affair
(in my head) must now come to an end. I can tolerate other wives, and
girlfriends,
but what you said on Oprah, I cannot forgive.
I think it's terrifice that you vehemently follow a religion based on the
rambllings
of a science fiction writer. In fact, I'm creating my own religion
"Bloggintology",
and I can only hope and pray I have such a zealous following. But I think the
electrodes they attach to your body during "auditing" has zapped you one to
many times. How can you denounce an entire branch of science, namely psychiatry,
and call all who work in the field crooked? Do you really believe that there
is no scientific evidence supporting any of the tenets in psychiatry? I would
think that someone of your notiarity would be a little bit more responsible
about what they say about such a sensitive subject matter. If you don't think
what you say matters, just ask your friend, Oprah about her little Mad-Cow
comment
and the Texans who sued her for it.
Just because your ass is so gorgeous it is omnipotent, doesn't mean that your
opinions are. Although it is apparent that your adorable head is up your
gorgeous
ass, so I can see where you can become confused.
Get over yourself. You're an actor. And grossly overpaid. Jackass.
Love always,
Elle
but first...
Remember a couple weeks ago when I told you I met Dr. Hottie, the dentist next door? Well today I met the neighbor on the other side.
We'll call him Mr. Investigator, as he works for a company called the American Bureau of Investigation.
Despite the unibrow, still very nice looking.
I'm sure he's quite taken with me already, because when he walked in I had just taken a huge yummy, drippy bite of my Braum's cheeseburger.
There may have even been some lettuce still clinging to my lower lip. Or maybe it was sliding down my chin.
I'm pretty as a picture, yes? ;)
AND...
we exchanged phone numbers (once I wiped the tomato juice and mayo from my hand).
Fast worker, you say?
I say...
YEAH BABY!
Okay, the truth...he wondered if he could have UPS (pronounced "OOPS") deliver a package here, and if I would mind giving him a call if it got here before I left. And he took my number as well...perhaps he thinks (quite rightly, in fact) that I have short term memory loss.
Or maybe he just thinks I'm a dumb blonde.
On with the show! And I should add that if you've never visited Elle, make tracks on over there. She cracks me up. And she says important things sometimes, too. :)
This particular piece...well, I'm just sorry I didn't say it first. OR as well as she did.
A love letter to Tom.
Dear Tom:
You are so hot!! I first fell in love with in you Taps. You were sooo cute in
your little army outfit! Then when I saw you in Top Gun I really fell hard for
you. How can anyone be spared when they saw how darling you looked in your
aviator
togs. As the Vampire Lestat, I wanted you to bite my neck (ooooooh chills) and
suck out all my blood.
But I'm sorry to tell you, I have to break up with you. Our long love affair
(in my head) must now come to an end. I can tolerate other wives, and
girlfriends,
but what you said on Oprah, I cannot forgive.
I think it's terrifice that you vehemently follow a religion based on the
rambllings
of a science fiction writer. In fact, I'm creating my own religion
"Bloggintology",
and I can only hope and pray I have such a zealous following. But I think the
electrodes they attach to your body during "auditing" has zapped you one to
many times. How can you denounce an entire branch of science, namely psychiatry,
and call all who work in the field crooked? Do you really believe that there
is no scientific evidence supporting any of the tenets in psychiatry? I would
think that someone of your notiarity would be a little bit more responsible
about what they say about such a sensitive subject matter. If you don't think
what you say matters, just ask your friend, Oprah about her little Mad-Cow
comment
and the Texans who sued her for it.
Just because your ass is so gorgeous it is omnipotent, doesn't mean that your
opinions are. Although it is apparent that your adorable head is up your
gorgeous
ass, so I can see where you can become confused.
Get over yourself. You're an actor. And grossly overpaid. Jackass.
Love always,
Elle
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Will the next Guest Blogger please stand up?
I see London
I see France
I see someone's underpants!
The pants I chose to wear are the kind that require white undies...but even forgoing the Wonder Woman Underoos, the only 'white' ones that I had clean have big red poppies on them.
I love flowery undies.
So, naturally, I decided to share that fact with everyone today~especially the people who've had to stand behind me at any point.
Today's Guest Post comes to us from the always funny and effervescent Brandie. I love Brandie. I wish I had been more like her when I was her age...she's brilliant, brave, and bitchalicious. I love that about her.
You really should visit Brandie on a regular basis...you'll be glad you did. I promise.
She does have one request: Please do NOT leave a comment on her blog about this particular post. Confine them to the Daily Bitch comment section, if you please.
Thank you.
To my dear friend:
You know I love you like a sister. You and I have been friends since we were 11-year-old girls comparing razor stubble in 7th-grade gym. I have helped you through career issues, marital issues, school issues, and God knows what else. I have put my own well-being on hold to benefit you. I have put off my own schoolwork to help you write papers for your various classes, causing me to spend many hours freaking out and trying to catch up on my own work. But I don't complain about doing things like that, because you are my oldest friend, and I sincerely like to help you out.
All that being said, your attitude towards me lately needs to stop but quick.
You asked me to come live with you while I am in between semesters. I agreed, even though we have found it difficult to live together in the past, because I figured things would be different this time around. And yet they aren't.
I am not a fucking child. And I am not your fucking servant. We need to make that clear right now.
For you to have left me a note demanding that I sweep and mop the kitchen floor, and to have left it positioned so it is the first thing I see after being at work all afternoon long while standing on my feet and dealing with irate customers, is the most inconsiderate fucking thing you could possibly do.
You sat at home all fucking day long. Hell, you sat at home YESTERDAY all fucking day long, playing hours upon hours of Sims, then bitching that you didn't have the time to do your homework, all while I was at work.
So why couldn't you mop your own goddamned floor?
I am not your servant. I will continue to clean up after myself, but by God, I will not clean every single little thing in this apartment. It is, after all, YOUR FUCKING APARTMENT.
And besides that-- I DO NOT do floors. For anyone. Period. End of discussion.
The second issue: yes, I agreed to cook dinner for you tonight, but I did not agree to go to the fucking store and pick up what you "forgot." You had plenty of time this afternoon to go get what I needed to cook the meal YOU begged me to cook in the first place. I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING ERRAND GIRL. If the ingredients aren't here, and you're not willing to go get them yourself, I ain't cooking. There's ramen noodles in the cabinet. Bon appetit.
I am tired. Do you not understand that? I am tired and I am stressed out. Trying to get everything right at a new job is beyond stressful-- it's panic-attack-inducing. And coming home to this shit is not helping me relax.
Do not talk down to me. Do not treat me like I should be eternally grateful that you are allowing me the honor and privilege of living here for two months. Remember, it was your idea-- yours alone-- that I move in with you for the summer. I told you it was a bad idea. But you swore to me it would be okay.
Well, it's not. And I don't see it improving any time soon, unless you decide to stop treating me like your fucking servant and start acting like the friend you are supposed to be.
I have tolerated your attitude thus far, and have excused you for it because you are my friend. But when it comes right down to it, there is no fucking excuse. Grow up already.
Sincerely,
Me
I think many of us can relate to that particular roommate situation, wherein one wants to obligate the other.
I say show her the back of your hand. Then blog about it. :)
THANK YOU, BRANDIE, for the most excellent post!
*note: Guest Posts are being...posted in the order in which they were received. If you haven't seen yours yet~never fear! I haven't forgotten you. I'm just a'goin' down the list. :)
I see France
I see someone's underpants!
The pants I chose to wear are the kind that require white undies...but even forgoing the Wonder Woman Underoos, the only 'white' ones that I had clean have big red poppies on them.
I love flowery undies.
So, naturally, I decided to share that fact with everyone today~especially the people who've had to stand behind me at any point.
Today's Guest Post comes to us from the always funny and effervescent Brandie. I love Brandie. I wish I had been more like her when I was her age...she's brilliant, brave, and bitchalicious. I love that about her.
You really should visit Brandie on a regular basis...you'll be glad you did. I promise.
She does have one request: Please do NOT leave a comment on her blog about this particular post. Confine them to the Daily Bitch comment section, if you please.
Thank you.
To my dear friend:
You know I love you like a sister. You and I have been friends since we were 11-year-old girls comparing razor stubble in 7th-grade gym. I have helped you through career issues, marital issues, school issues, and God knows what else. I have put my own well-being on hold to benefit you. I have put off my own schoolwork to help you write papers for your various classes, causing me to spend many hours freaking out and trying to catch up on my own work. But I don't complain about doing things like that, because you are my oldest friend, and I sincerely like to help you out.
All that being said, your attitude towards me lately needs to stop but quick.
You asked me to come live with you while I am in between semesters. I agreed, even though we have found it difficult to live together in the past, because I figured things would be different this time around. And yet they aren't.
I am not a fucking child. And I am not your fucking servant. We need to make that clear right now.
For you to have left me a note demanding that I sweep and mop the kitchen floor, and to have left it positioned so it is the first thing I see after being at work all afternoon long while standing on my feet and dealing with irate customers, is the most inconsiderate fucking thing you could possibly do.
You sat at home all fucking day long. Hell, you sat at home YESTERDAY all fucking day long, playing hours upon hours of Sims, then bitching that you didn't have the time to do your homework, all while I was at work.
So why couldn't you mop your own goddamned floor?
I am not your servant. I will continue to clean up after myself, but by God, I will not clean every single little thing in this apartment. It is, after all, YOUR FUCKING APARTMENT.
And besides that-- I DO NOT do floors. For anyone. Period. End of discussion.
The second issue: yes, I agreed to cook dinner for you tonight, but I did not agree to go to the fucking store and pick up what you "forgot." You had plenty of time this afternoon to go get what I needed to cook the meal YOU begged me to cook in the first place. I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING ERRAND GIRL. If the ingredients aren't here, and you're not willing to go get them yourself, I ain't cooking. There's ramen noodles in the cabinet. Bon appetit.
I am tired. Do you not understand that? I am tired and I am stressed out. Trying to get everything right at a new job is beyond stressful-- it's panic-attack-inducing. And coming home to this shit is not helping me relax.
Do not talk down to me. Do not treat me like I should be eternally grateful that you are allowing me the honor and privilege of living here for two months. Remember, it was your idea-- yours alone-- that I move in with you for the summer. I told you it was a bad idea. But you swore to me it would be okay.
Well, it's not. And I don't see it improving any time soon, unless you decide to stop treating me like your fucking servant and start acting like the friend you are supposed to be.
I have tolerated your attitude thus far, and have excused you for it because you are my friend. But when it comes right down to it, there is no fucking excuse. Grow up already.
Sincerely,
Me
I think many of us can relate to that particular roommate situation, wherein one wants to obligate the other.
I say show her the back of your hand. Then blog about it. :)
THANK YOU, BRANDIE, for the most excellent post!
*note: Guest Posts are being...posted in the order in which they were received. If you haven't seen yours yet~never fear! I haven't forgotten you. I'm just a'goin' down the list. :)
Monday, June 06, 2005
And now...a brief intermission OR Random Brain Dump
Seriously, I have to dump this shit from my mind in order to make way for new shit.
"Have you noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff? God! And you say, "Get that shit offa there and let me put my stuff down!"~~George Carlin
Should I be concerned?
as I was telling my friend on the phone the other night...*wink wink* (you know who you are)...
I had to blow the dust off my *silver bullet. Although mine is actually gold in color.
And now I've started making excuses to it.
"Are you sure we shouldn't be conserving your batteries? What if the electricity goes out and I need them for the flashlight?"
"Boy, am I tired! *yaaaaaaaaaaawn*"
"Maybe tomorrow, I have a headache right now and I'm all out of aspirin."
"How come I always have to do all the work and you just get to lay there?"
"The kids might wake up and come in here."
Next week I'll probably start picking fights with him so he'll sleep under the bed.
Someone in Minnesota googled aka monty...and spent 4 hours here.
I certainly hope they were entertained.
And I didn't even have to do my (in)famous strip tease.
Of course, had I done that, they'd surely have spent a lot less time here.
Whoever you are, please uncloak yourself from stealth mode and leave me a comment.
I'm sure by now you've got something to say to me. :)
I once had a dream, when I was but a lass, that I looked like John Denver. Only the round glasses appeared to be orange halves.
Perhaps I should seek intensive therapy, yes?
And this Meme from Brandie's...
Don't pull any punches now. I expect better from you people.
(and in case you didn't know...SHANNON=aka_monty, aka_monty=Shannon. Two voices, one head)
I ____Shannon.
Shannon is ____.
Shannon thinks a lot about _______.
When I think of _________, I think of Shannon.
If I were alone in a room with Shannon, I would _______.
I think Shannon should _____.
Shannon needs ______.
I want to ____________ Shannon.
If I could describe Shannon in a word: _______.
Guest posts to resume tomorrow....
"Have you noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff? God! And you say, "Get that shit offa there and let me put my stuff down!"~~George Carlin
Should I be concerned?
as I was telling my friend on the phone the other night...*wink wink* (you know who you are)...
I had to blow the dust off my *silver bullet. Although mine is actually gold in color.
And now I've started making excuses to it.
"Are you sure we shouldn't be conserving your batteries? What if the electricity goes out and I need them for the flashlight?"
"Boy, am I tired! *yaaaaaaaaaaawn*"
"Maybe tomorrow, I have a headache right now and I'm all out of aspirin."
"How come I always have to do all the work and you just get to lay there?"
"The kids might wake up and come in here."
Next week I'll probably start picking fights with him so he'll sleep under the bed.
Someone in Minnesota googled aka monty...and spent 4 hours here.
I certainly hope they were entertained.
And I didn't even have to do my (in)famous strip tease.
Of course, had I done that, they'd surely have spent a lot less time here.
Whoever you are, please uncloak yourself from stealth mode and leave me a comment.
I'm sure by now you've got something to say to me. :)
I once had a dream, when I was but a lass, that I looked like John Denver. Only the round glasses appeared to be orange halves.
Perhaps I should seek intensive therapy, yes?
And this Meme from Brandie's...
Don't pull any punches now. I expect better from you people.
(and in case you didn't know...SHANNON=aka_monty, aka_monty=Shannon. Two voices, one head)
I ____Shannon.
Shannon is ____.
Shannon thinks a lot about _______.
When I think of _________, I think of Shannon.
If I were alone in a room with Shannon, I would _______.
I think Shannon should _____.
Shannon needs ______.
I want to ____________ Shannon.
If I could describe Shannon in a word: _______.
Guest posts to resume tomorrow....
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Public Service Announcement
...my daughter just now got out of bed and walked into the living room sobbing.
As I took her on my lap I asked her what was wrong...
"I just miss my dad so much!"
My heart is shattered.
If you are a parent who has a little child somewhere that you don't get to see much (if ever)~for whatever reason, in whatever circumstance~~I beg you to take 5 minutes of your day tomorrow to call that child, if only to say "I love you. I miss you."
DO IT.
That is all.
As I took her on my lap I asked her what was wrong...
"I just miss my dad so much!"
My heart is shattered.
If you are a parent who has a little child somewhere that you don't get to see much (if ever)~for whatever reason, in whatever circumstance~~I beg you to take 5 minutes of your day tomorrow to call that child, if only to say "I love you. I miss you."
DO IT.
That is all.
Guest Post #4!
I must say that I'm overwhelmed by the support that my readers have shown to the incredible guest bloggers.
You are all wonderful, and I thank you.
If you haven't yet, I suggest that you review all the guest posts, because each unique individual has something important to say.
And let us all thank them for sharing their lives.
Today we will be welcoming the funny and talented Cybervassals. Yet another of my favorite people! (ah, who'm I kidding, you're ALL my favorites!)
She manages to put a funny spin on the mundanities of life, and she's a terrifically talented web designer as well! You may remember that she is responsible for this most gorgeous layout here at The Daily Bitch. Fabulous, isn't she? If you don't know that for yourself already, I hope that you visit her often and find out for yourself.
Her entry today is an open letter...most of which could very easily apply to some of my own 'friends'. She said what I'd like to say, only better.
Thank you, Cybervassals, for speaking out, for all of us. I hope that the kind of people that you're speaking about, the ones that all of us know, read and learn from this.
Dear Friends Whom I No Longer Have Anything In Common With:
Yes, I'm a stay at home mom now. My priorities have changed as well as my income level, tho it's been great how you've taken that into consideration by no longer inviting me out for beers and chats. The one thing that has not changed is my desire to see you do well and get the things you want out of life. I tried to be there during your troubling time, but obviously that was not enough. That being said, there are a few things I want to get off my chest...
I think you paid waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much for what is essentially a studio apartment. I don't like it, and your custom ordered Italian couch is plain.
Your vacations are boring to hear about. You may go to exotic places, but you certainly don't do exotic things.
You are shallow. I noticed the signs because I apparently was also shallow, once. I've grown up. Other things are more important.
You never respond to my emails. That's rude.
It would have been nice for you to phone and say "sorry we missed you last night. how is your daughter doing today"
My daughter is 2.5 years. You are her godparents. You've seen her (maybe) 10 times. We live 10 minutes apart.
Sending me a one line email on my birthday and then calling 4 days later is crap.
I could probably post this on my own site and know that you would never read it.
I know that I could put in a little extra effort myself, but I have other things to do including dealing with my depression. Oh! That's right. You didn't know about that.
I'm just being bitchy and depressed. Maybe I'll be over it tomorrow. But maybe not.
WELL PUT! I hope that those sort of 'friends' will take a minute to stop and think when they read this. If you are one of those people...take a minute to stop and think about selfish behaviour. And what it means to be a real friend.
Thank you, Cybervassals!
You are all wonderful, and I thank you.
If you haven't yet, I suggest that you review all the guest posts, because each unique individual has something important to say.
And let us all thank them for sharing their lives.
Today we will be welcoming the funny and talented Cybervassals. Yet another of my favorite people! (ah, who'm I kidding, you're ALL my favorites!)
She manages to put a funny spin on the mundanities of life, and she's a terrifically talented web designer as well! You may remember that she is responsible for this most gorgeous layout here at The Daily Bitch. Fabulous, isn't she? If you don't know that for yourself already, I hope that you visit her often and find out for yourself.
Her entry today is an open letter...most of which could very easily apply to some of my own 'friends'. She said what I'd like to say, only better.
Thank you, Cybervassals, for speaking out, for all of us. I hope that the kind of people that you're speaking about, the ones that all of us know, read and learn from this.
Dear Friends Whom I No Longer Have Anything In Common With:
Yes, I'm a stay at home mom now. My priorities have changed as well as my income level, tho it's been great how you've taken that into consideration by no longer inviting me out for beers and chats. The one thing that has not changed is my desire to see you do well and get the things you want out of life. I tried to be there during your troubling time, but obviously that was not enough. That being said, there are a few things I want to get off my chest...
I think you paid waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much for what is essentially a studio apartment. I don't like it, and your custom ordered Italian couch is plain.
Your vacations are boring to hear about. You may go to exotic places, but you certainly don't do exotic things.
You are shallow. I noticed the signs because I apparently was also shallow, once. I've grown up. Other things are more important.
You never respond to my emails. That's rude.
It would have been nice for you to phone and say "sorry we missed you last night. how is your daughter doing today"
My daughter is 2.5 years. You are her godparents. You've seen her (maybe) 10 times. We live 10 minutes apart.
Sending me a one line email on my birthday and then calling 4 days later is crap.
I could probably post this on my own site and know that you would never read it.
I know that I could put in a little extra effort myself, but I have other things to do including dealing with my depression. Oh! That's right. You didn't know about that.
I'm just being bitchy and depressed. Maybe I'll be over it tomorrow. But maybe not.
WELL PUT! I hope that those sort of 'friends' will take a minute to stop and think when they read this. If you are one of those people...take a minute to stop and think about selfish behaviour. And what it means to be a real friend.
Thank you, Cybervassals!
Saturday, June 04, 2005
GUEST POST #3 IS HERE!
but first...
This made me giggle. I shall keep the names to myself because I'm not trying to be mean...but seriously, I laughed right out loud. Twice.
This is a portion of a comment I saw on someone else's (famous) blog...
Apparently their kitty was near the keyboard and...
"...he keeps trying to bite the curser!"
I didn't know if it was a typo, a misspelling, or if she was swearing at the cat. ;)
The Honor System
A gentle reminder...
Today's guest author doesn't mind if you know who she is, but please do NOT leave a comment on HER blog regarding THIS post. It could potentially cause some serious damage.
Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
The Management
I would like for you all to welcome Megan today. She's a most wonderful writer~if you've never visited her, I suggest that you do so. She writes the best stories...and makes us wait for the next installment every week. I'm always anxious to visit there on Fridays.
Now, her guest post today shows her incredible courage. I'm quite certain that this issue is weighing heavily on her shoulders, so please feel free to offer her your support. Only don't do it at her place. :)
So without further ado...
Confessional
I don’t think I’m in love with my husband anymore. That’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to admit to; I’ve thought it, but I’ve never told anyone else.
I never used to understand how people could have affairs. But now I do. Something disappears, and you try desperately to find it, eventually running into the arms of someone else.
I haven’t gotten there yet.
The thing is, he’s a good man, a sweet man. He’s a great, attentive dad. He does his share around the house. He comes home every night. And he loves me.
He just has trouble expressing it.
Oh, and I need that. I need it so desperately. I want romance, I want love notes. I want affection. I want someone I can talk to for hours.
But that’s not him.
I realize I’ve changed. So has he. But I think I’ve outgrown him. I think, finally, I’ve come into my own and know very clearly what I want and what I need.
And it doesn’t seem to be him.
So I contemplate. What to do? An affair is out of the question. It’s wrong, and although I’m not in love with him, I do love him. I couldn’t bear to hurt him that way. Besides, who would I have an affair with? I’m oh-so-picky when it comes to men, and I’m not going to destroy my marriage and hurt that man with some sales guy from Circuit City.
No, if I’m gonna go, I’m gonna go big.
If I’m cheating, it’s going to be with the absolute love of my life. It’s going to be for the earth-shattering, soul-rocking and all-consuming love I’ve always wanted.
And the sex to go with it.
That—that has gone downhill. Lately my desire has gone way up; his has gone way down. And when it happens, well, I’ve had better. And the kissing. My God, I love to kiss. Didn’t he used to kiss well? Where did that go?
I don’t know what to do.
I’m working on myself, trying to find what is missing inside. Maybe then I can look at him differently. I can’t help but think there’s something wrong with me, that my expectations are unrealistic, that what I’m looking for simply doesn’t exist.
I can’t throw out 14 years of my life just like that. No matter how badly I want to sometimes.
We’ve been to couples therapy, but nothing has changed. I’m contemplating therapy on my own to try and find out what’s going on with me so I can make a decision and go with it.
I don’t want to wait 10 years only to discover that he will never be what I want and need. If I’m going to start my life over, I rather do it now, while I’m still relatively young and desirable. While I still feel I can start over.
But right now I just don’t know what to do.
Thank you, Megan, for being honest and courageous enough to share your life with us.
You've got my love and support.
WARNING LABEL: I anticipate that some guest posts may venture into the realm of controversy. As always, opinions of all varieties are welcome, but please remember that the way you present your opinion is a direct reflection on your level of intelligence. You may be shitty to me if you wish, but trolls who comment on my special guest's posts will be terminated with extreme prejudice after being held up for ridicule. Thank you, The Management
This made me giggle. I shall keep the names to myself because I'm not trying to be mean...but seriously, I laughed right out loud. Twice.
This is a portion of a comment I saw on someone else's (famous) blog...
Apparently their kitty was near the keyboard and...
"...he keeps trying to bite the curser!"
I didn't know if it was a typo, a misspelling, or if she was swearing at the cat. ;)
The Honor System
A gentle reminder...
Today's guest author doesn't mind if you know who she is, but please do NOT leave a comment on HER blog regarding THIS post. It could potentially cause some serious damage.
Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
The Management
I would like for you all to welcome Megan today. She's a most wonderful writer~if you've never visited her, I suggest that you do so. She writes the best stories...and makes us wait for the next installment every week. I'm always anxious to visit there on Fridays.
Now, her guest post today shows her incredible courage. I'm quite certain that this issue is weighing heavily on her shoulders, so please feel free to offer her your support. Only don't do it at her place. :)
So without further ado...
Confessional
I don’t think I’m in love with my husband anymore. That’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to admit to; I’ve thought it, but I’ve never told anyone else.
I never used to understand how people could have affairs. But now I do. Something disappears, and you try desperately to find it, eventually running into the arms of someone else.
I haven’t gotten there yet.
The thing is, he’s a good man, a sweet man. He’s a great, attentive dad. He does his share around the house. He comes home every night. And he loves me.
He just has trouble expressing it.
Oh, and I need that. I need it so desperately. I want romance, I want love notes. I want affection. I want someone I can talk to for hours.
But that’s not him.
I realize I’ve changed. So has he. But I think I’ve outgrown him. I think, finally, I’ve come into my own and know very clearly what I want and what I need.
And it doesn’t seem to be him.
So I contemplate. What to do? An affair is out of the question. It’s wrong, and although I’m not in love with him, I do love him. I couldn’t bear to hurt him that way. Besides, who would I have an affair with? I’m oh-so-picky when it comes to men, and I’m not going to destroy my marriage and hurt that man with some sales guy from Circuit City.
No, if I’m gonna go, I’m gonna go big.
If I’m cheating, it’s going to be with the absolute love of my life. It’s going to be for the earth-shattering, soul-rocking and all-consuming love I’ve always wanted.
And the sex to go with it.
That—that has gone downhill. Lately my desire has gone way up; his has gone way down. And when it happens, well, I’ve had better. And the kissing. My God, I love to kiss. Didn’t he used to kiss well? Where did that go?
I don’t know what to do.
I’m working on myself, trying to find what is missing inside. Maybe then I can look at him differently. I can’t help but think there’s something wrong with me, that my expectations are unrealistic, that what I’m looking for simply doesn’t exist.
I can’t throw out 14 years of my life just like that. No matter how badly I want to sometimes.
We’ve been to couples therapy, but nothing has changed. I’m contemplating therapy on my own to try and find out what’s going on with me so I can make a decision and go with it.
I don’t want to wait 10 years only to discover that he will never be what I want and need. If I’m going to start my life over, I rather do it now, while I’m still relatively young and desirable. While I still feel I can start over.
But right now I just don’t know what to do.
Thank you, Megan, for being honest and courageous enough to share your life with us.
You've got my love and support.
WARNING LABEL: I anticipate that some guest posts may venture into the realm of controversy. As always, opinions of all varieties are welcome, but please remember that the way you present your opinion is a direct reflection on your level of intelligence. You may be shitty to me if you wish, but trolls who comment on my special guest's posts will be terminated with extreme prejudice after being held up for ridicule. Thank you, The Management
Friday, June 03, 2005
STOP THE PRESSES!
We will return to our fabulous Guest Posts after this brief intermission.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has participated in the Guest Posting...every single one of your posts are fabulous in your own individual way.
The one which will arrive with tomorrow's edition is heart-rending...and the author has requested that you please confine all comments regarding her post to this particular forum, and NOT post any comments regarding the post on her own blog.
I would also like to encourage anyone who needs to get off a good rant (even anonymously) to go ahead & send it to me at redneckmama1ATyahooDOTcom.
I've still got more to come in the days ahead...
Inappropriate much?
Why yes, thank you, I am.
You know that filter thingy betwixt brain and lips? Mine is, and has been, in a state of malfunction since...oh, about birth.
Wednesday was my Grams' funeral.
We were sitting around waiting to be led into the chapel, everyone chat-chat-chatting away.
My uncle (from whom I inherited my sense of humor, my bitchiness and sarcasm) was behind me talking to my mother.
He had a little map of something, and was pointing things out to her.
HIM: There's the old house, there's where the new house will be, here's a little park area, and two dykes right here...
okay, this is where the filter thingy completely gave up the ghost
I turned around and butted into the conversation: "I think they prefer to be called lesbians."
Well, Mom laughed, anyway.
He just looked at me.
I blame it on the brain surgery he had a couple years ago. When they removed the tumor from his spinal cord, I suspect they also took a large part of his sense of humor along with it.
*sigh*
If I had three wishes...
I would wish that I would get to have sex sometime before the year is out.
I would also wish that that sex would be with the celebrity of my choice.
I would further wish that that sex with that celebrity would occur on a four week Caribbean cruise.
Although it would have to be a Disney cruise, because they entertain the children & could keep them out of my hair for half a minute.
DREEEEEEEEAAAAMMMSSSS...Dreams dreams dreams...
I'm off to go have naughty fantasies now.
GASOLINE=LIQUID GOLD
God bless the Evil Empire of WAL-MART and their $1.86/gallon liquid gold.
Be sure to tune in tomorrow for our next Guest Post!
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has participated in the Guest Posting...every single one of your posts are fabulous in your own individual way.
The one which will arrive with tomorrow's edition is heart-rending...and the author has requested that you please confine all comments regarding her post to this particular forum, and NOT post any comments regarding the post on her own blog.
I would also like to encourage anyone who needs to get off a good rant (even anonymously) to go ahead & send it to me at redneckmama1ATyahooDOTcom.
I've still got more to come in the days ahead...
Inappropriate much?
Why yes, thank you, I am.
You know that filter thingy betwixt brain and lips? Mine is, and has been, in a state of malfunction since...oh, about birth.
Wednesday was my Grams' funeral.
We were sitting around waiting to be led into the chapel, everyone chat-chat-chatting away.
My uncle (from whom I inherited my sense of humor, my bitchiness and sarcasm) was behind me talking to my mother.
He had a little map of something, and was pointing things out to her.
HIM: There's the old house, there's where the new house will be, here's a little park area, and two dykes right here...
okay, this is where the filter thingy completely gave up the ghost
I turned around and butted into the conversation: "I think they prefer to be called lesbians."
Well, Mom laughed, anyway.
He just looked at me.
I blame it on the brain surgery he had a couple years ago. When they removed the tumor from his spinal cord, I suspect they also took a large part of his sense of humor along with it.
*sigh*
If I had three wishes...
I would wish that I would get to have sex sometime before the year is out.
I would also wish that that sex would be with the celebrity of my choice.
I would further wish that that sex with that celebrity would occur on a four week Caribbean cruise.
Although it would have to be a Disney cruise, because they entertain the children & could keep them out of my hair for half a minute.
DREEEEEEEEAAAAMMMSSSS...Dreams dreams dreams...
I'm off to go have naughty fantasies now.
GASOLINE=LIQUID GOLD
God bless the Evil Empire of WAL-MART and their $1.86/gallon liquid gold.
Be sure to tune in tomorrow for our next Guest Post!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
GUEST POST #2!
This was meant to be posted prior to the first guest post; however, the Oversight Committee committed an..um, oversight, as they were on hiatus.
WARNING LABEL: I anticipate that some guest posts may venture into the realm of controversy. As always, opinions of all varieties are welcome, but please remember that the way you present your opinion is a direct reflection on your level of intelligence. You may be shitty to me if you wish, but trolls who comment on my special guest's posts will be terminated with extreme prejudice after being held up for riducule. Thank you, The Management
Today I would like you to give a warm welcome to our next guest blogger, the lovely Square1. I love her place~she openly and honestly discusses her life, and generously shares her triumphs and tragedies, struggles and sex, marriage with children. She has learned to decry what many of us are skilled at~the art of self-delusion.
Whether you agree with her or not, she's all about keepin' it real.
Enjoy her now, as she gets to the heart of things.
(This post and many others can be found at http://a-blog-y-mous-rants.blogspot.com. If you'd like to join, please send a request her friend Onyznite.)
People Who Think They Know... But Don't Have A Frackin' Clue
Someone got me to thinking about something tonight. As a mother of
three kids I simply want to address some things that bother me. Now
this is no offense to people without children... A lot of you guys are
great (my friends being some of the greatest!). I do not think I'm
Martha Stewart or Mother Theresa because I'm a mom, but there are some
things that some childless people do that really get under my skin...
First things first. DO NOT stare at me or my tantrum throwing
pre-schooler in Wal-mart parking lot as if you think I'm a)
kid-napping her/him b) beating my child or c) should be giving the
child a good butt blistering right there in public. First of all
children throw tantrums, most often in public places because of many
reasons. Sometimes they are tired. Sometimes they are overstimulated
by the unfamiliar surroundings and noises. Sometimes it is because
they know that mommy and daddy are less likely to enforce themselves
in public because of paranoia and embarassment... and they take
advantage of it. In short a tantrum is thrown for either a) because
they are feeling uncomfortable and are not emotionally mature enough
to know how to express it properly, or b) they're not getting their
way so they are switching to more drastic measures in order to get
their way, and because of the environment they know they are more
likely to get away with it. The fact that my child is screaming means
nothing more than, they are an ordinary child that is expressing
displeasure over something in the best way they know how. It does not
mean that I am a terrible parent that has done something to make them
scream at me. As to spanking them right there in public, it is my job
to correct my child in a loving and constructive manner. Embarassing
them is not in the least constructive nor is it loving. For the
kidnapping part... I know that this happens a lot... but if a person
has a cart load of three kids that all bear striking resemblance to
the parent accompanying them... quit being paranoid and go about your
business.
To those of you without children who believe you have good parenting
advice because you baby-sat a lot, had lots of little siblings, work
in a daycare, or because you watch Oprah or Dr. Phil...STUFF IT! The
bottom line is this. Taking care of your own children is different,
and before you protest otherwise let me say that parents are the only
ones who have a leg to stand on to argue this point, simply because
they've experienced both sides of the coin. You have not. And I have
not met a parent yet who will disagree with me. It is one thing to
care for a child for a LIMITED amount of time and quite another to
raise that child day in and day out, with no comfort that someone else
will eventually take over and give you a break. Not to mention
children ALWAYS, without fail... no exceptions... behave much
differently i the presence of someone else than they do with their
parents. Any success you've had in caring for a child has most likely
been a result of responding to a different face. Think about it. You
act differently around your friends vs. people you don't know very
well. Children are nothing more than little people that are still
learning how social and family structures work. They're still learning
where the boundaries are and seeing just how far they can push them...
ESPECIALLY with their parents, because they view their parents as the
ULTIMATE authority figures in their lives. Parents can supercede
anyone else when it comes to what the child is supposed to do, and
they want to see just how firm that boundary is.
Any parent worth their salt has been reading parenting books,
soliciting advice, trying new ideas, implementing those that work, and
discarding those that do not. Children are not drones. There is no one
tried and true method of parenting that works for all of them.
Children do not come with an instruction manual or an explanation of
their individual personalities. Parenting is on-the-job training
solely... and the minute details of the job description change day by
day as the little person grows and develops, sometimes minute by
minute. The fact of the matter is that the advice you have to offer,
in all likelihood, is something they've already tried. The reason I
say this is because any parent worth their salt is constantly doing in
depth research about parenting. Why? Because any parent worth their
salt feels the burden of responsibility for the life of this little
person on a soul deep level every second of every day. They shoulder
the over-whelming burden of the child's life, gowth, emotional and
social development, education, care, financial security, emotional
security, spirituality, physical and mental health... and whatever
other aspect that makes up a child I may have failed to mention. Any
parent worth their salt knows that even their smallest decision can
affect their child, from buying a $.50 candy bar instead of an apple
to snack on, up to paying bills on time or going to the mall to
splurge because you can't be bothered that the water bill is coming
due, by golly you deserve to have that new pair of shoes you saw. When
it's just you, you're the only one you have to think about. So when
you buy that new pair of shoes instead of paying the bill, you're the
only one without water. When you have kids... they get to pay for your
frivolty too. You learn just what it means to be responsible for
someone else. And if you're mature, you do not bemoan how unfair it is
that you have to become so. The way you treat other people, the words
you speak in front of them, the activities you engage in... every
little thing you do... every little course of action you take has
consequences for your child. It's not about you anymore. It's all
about them... and they are watching... and learning. And since most of
us parents are imperfect people to begin with, the burden is extra
heavy when we make mistakes or when we are criticized. Until you have
your own children, and know that you ultimately will be held
responsible for that child's life from birth until death... do not
presume to tell me how to do my job as a parent. Anyone else who is a
seasoned parent, understands the responsibilities and frustrations...
I am open to suggestions anytime you have them. Is that
discriminatory? No. I think it's just practical.
To those of you young people that seem to think your friend with a kid
is no fun anymore because they can never go out... be thankful you are
still care free. And instead of bitching about never having fun with
your friend... why not offer to baby-sit so you're friend CAN go out
for a bit of fun... or here's a concept... maybe offer to help pay for
a baby-sitter so they can go out with you! If you're jealous because
the kid has become more important to the person than you... GROW THE
FUCK UP! Of course the kid is more important... it is their child... a
human being that is their responsibility! I mean really... do you
think you would have been happy if you're parents had thought going
out and partying with their friends was more important than taking
care of you? Get over yourself! Quit being selfish and offer some
support... You might find your friend has a bit more time for you with
the proper amount of help and kind words. You may not like that your
friend has changed now that they've become a parent. Having a kid
changes you. It changes yor outlook on life and what's important. You
can either adapt and keep a good friend or be an idiot and alienate
them just because they don't fit in with what you think they should
be. (For my own friends... you have been great and I have had none of
these problems with you. I've simply seen other young women subjected
to this and it royally ticks me off.)
Here are a few other things...
Do NOT offer the financial advice. You have no clue the cost involved
in taking care of a kid.
Do NOT ridicule a parent if they've made a mistake... they're human
beings for God's sakes that are learning as they go. If you think you
could do better... trust me... you can't.
Also no offese to parents with only one child. Been there and it's not
easy. Raising a child or children period is not easy. But don't act
like your job is as difficult as a mom with three or four kids. The
demand and cost of caring for more than one child doesn't just
multiply... it grows exponentially with each child you have. I have
three... and I will not presume to think that I have anywhere near the
difficulty that my sister-in-law with 10 has.
Thank you so much, Square1, giving us your real life as well as most excellent advice.
WARNING LABEL: I anticipate that some guest posts may venture into the realm of controversy. As always, opinions of all varieties are welcome, but please remember that the way you present your opinion is a direct reflection on your level of intelligence. You may be shitty to me if you wish, but trolls who comment on my special guest's posts will be terminated with extreme prejudice after being held up for riducule. Thank you, The Management
Today I would like you to give a warm welcome to our next guest blogger, the lovely Square1. I love her place~she openly and honestly discusses her life, and generously shares her triumphs and tragedies, struggles and sex, marriage with children. She has learned to decry what many of us are skilled at~the art of self-delusion.
Whether you agree with her or not, she's all about keepin' it real.
Enjoy her now, as she gets to the heart of things.
(This post and many others can be found at http://a-blog-y-mous-rants.blogspot.com. If you'd like to join, please send a request her friend Onyznite.)
People Who Think They Know... But Don't Have A Frackin' Clue
Someone got me to thinking about something tonight. As a mother of
three kids I simply want to address some things that bother me. Now
this is no offense to people without children... A lot of you guys are
great (my friends being some of the greatest!). I do not think I'm
Martha Stewart or Mother Theresa because I'm a mom, but there are some
things that some childless people do that really get under my skin...
First things first. DO NOT stare at me or my tantrum throwing
pre-schooler in Wal-mart parking lot as if you think I'm a)
kid-napping her/him b) beating my child or c) should be giving the
child a good butt blistering right there in public. First of all
children throw tantrums, most often in public places because of many
reasons. Sometimes they are tired. Sometimes they are overstimulated
by the unfamiliar surroundings and noises. Sometimes it is because
they know that mommy and daddy are less likely to enforce themselves
in public because of paranoia and embarassment... and they take
advantage of it. In short a tantrum is thrown for either a) because
they are feeling uncomfortable and are not emotionally mature enough
to know how to express it properly, or b) they're not getting their
way so they are switching to more drastic measures in order to get
their way, and because of the environment they know they are more
likely to get away with it. The fact that my child is screaming means
nothing more than, they are an ordinary child that is expressing
displeasure over something in the best way they know how. It does not
mean that I am a terrible parent that has done something to make them
scream at me. As to spanking them right there in public, it is my job
to correct my child in a loving and constructive manner. Embarassing
them is not in the least constructive nor is it loving. For the
kidnapping part... I know that this happens a lot... but if a person
has a cart load of three kids that all bear striking resemblance to
the parent accompanying them... quit being paranoid and go about your
business.
To those of you without children who believe you have good parenting
advice because you baby-sat a lot, had lots of little siblings, work
in a daycare, or because you watch Oprah or Dr. Phil...STUFF IT! The
bottom line is this. Taking care of your own children is different,
and before you protest otherwise let me say that parents are the only
ones who have a leg to stand on to argue this point, simply because
they've experienced both sides of the coin. You have not. And I have
not met a parent yet who will disagree with me. It is one thing to
care for a child for a LIMITED amount of time and quite another to
raise that child day in and day out, with no comfort that someone else
will eventually take over and give you a break. Not to mention
children ALWAYS, without fail... no exceptions... behave much
differently i the presence of someone else than they do with their
parents. Any success you've had in caring for a child has most likely
been a result of responding to a different face. Think about it. You
act differently around your friends vs. people you don't know very
well. Children are nothing more than little people that are still
learning how social and family structures work. They're still learning
where the boundaries are and seeing just how far they can push them...
ESPECIALLY with their parents, because they view their parents as the
ULTIMATE authority figures in their lives. Parents can supercede
anyone else when it comes to what the child is supposed to do, and
they want to see just how firm that boundary is.
Any parent worth their salt has been reading parenting books,
soliciting advice, trying new ideas, implementing those that work, and
discarding those that do not. Children are not drones. There is no one
tried and true method of parenting that works for all of them.
Children do not come with an instruction manual or an explanation of
their individual personalities. Parenting is on-the-job training
solely... and the minute details of the job description change day by
day as the little person grows and develops, sometimes minute by
minute. The fact of the matter is that the advice you have to offer,
in all likelihood, is something they've already tried. The reason I
say this is because any parent worth their salt is constantly doing in
depth research about parenting. Why? Because any parent worth their
salt feels the burden of responsibility for the life of this little
person on a soul deep level every second of every day. They shoulder
the over-whelming burden of the child's life, gowth, emotional and
social development, education, care, financial security, emotional
security, spirituality, physical and mental health... and whatever
other aspect that makes up a child I may have failed to mention. Any
parent worth their salt knows that even their smallest decision can
affect their child, from buying a $.50 candy bar instead of an apple
to snack on, up to paying bills on time or going to the mall to
splurge because you can't be bothered that the water bill is coming
due, by golly you deserve to have that new pair of shoes you saw. When
it's just you, you're the only one you have to think about. So when
you buy that new pair of shoes instead of paying the bill, you're the
only one without water. When you have kids... they get to pay for your
frivolty too. You learn just what it means to be responsible for
someone else. And if you're mature, you do not bemoan how unfair it is
that you have to become so. The way you treat other people, the words
you speak in front of them, the activities you engage in... every
little thing you do... every little course of action you take has
consequences for your child. It's not about you anymore. It's all
about them... and they are watching... and learning. And since most of
us parents are imperfect people to begin with, the burden is extra
heavy when we make mistakes or when we are criticized. Until you have
your own children, and know that you ultimately will be held
responsible for that child's life from birth until death... do not
presume to tell me how to do my job as a parent. Anyone else who is a
seasoned parent, understands the responsibilities and frustrations...
I am open to suggestions anytime you have them. Is that
discriminatory? No. I think it's just practical.
To those of you young people that seem to think your friend with a kid
is no fun anymore because they can never go out... be thankful you are
still care free. And instead of bitching about never having fun with
your friend... why not offer to baby-sit so you're friend CAN go out
for a bit of fun... or here's a concept... maybe offer to help pay for
a baby-sitter so they can go out with you! If you're jealous because
the kid has become more important to the person than you... GROW THE
FUCK UP! Of course the kid is more important... it is their child... a
human being that is their responsibility! I mean really... do you
think you would have been happy if you're parents had thought going
out and partying with their friends was more important than taking
care of you? Get over yourself! Quit being selfish and offer some
support... You might find your friend has a bit more time for you with
the proper amount of help and kind words. You may not like that your
friend has changed now that they've become a parent. Having a kid
changes you. It changes yor outlook on life and what's important. You
can either adapt and keep a good friend or be an idiot and alienate
them just because they don't fit in with what you think they should
be. (For my own friends... you have been great and I have had none of
these problems with you. I've simply seen other young women subjected
to this and it royally ticks me off.)
Here are a few other things...
Do NOT offer the financial advice. You have no clue the cost involved
in taking care of a kid.
Do NOT ridicule a parent if they've made a mistake... they're human
beings for God's sakes that are learning as they go. If you think you
could do better... trust me... you can't.
Also no offese to parents with only one child. Been there and it's not
easy. Raising a child or children period is not easy. But don't act
like your job is as difficult as a mom with three or four kids. The
demand and cost of caring for more than one child doesn't just
multiply... it grows exponentially with each child you have. I have
three... and I will not presume to think that I have anywhere near the
difficulty that my sister-in-law with 10 has.
Thank you so much, Square1, giving us your real life as well as most excellent advice.
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