Saturday, June 04, 2005

GUEST POST #3 IS HERE!

but first...
This made me giggle. I shall keep the names to myself because I'm not trying to be mean...but seriously, I laughed right out loud. Twice.

This is a portion of a comment I saw on someone else's (famous) blog...
Apparently their kitty was near the keyboard and...
"...he keeps trying to bite the curser!"

I didn't know if it was a typo, a misspelling, or if she was swearing at the cat. ;)


The Honor System
A gentle reminder...
Today's guest author doesn't mind if you know who she is, but please do NOT leave a comment on HER blog regarding THIS post. It could potentially cause some serious damage.
Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
The Management


I would like for you all to welcome Megan today. She's a most wonderful writer~if you've never visited her, I suggest that you do so. She writes the best stories...and makes us wait for the next installment every week. I'm always anxious to visit there on Fridays.
Now, her guest post today shows her incredible courage. I'm quite certain that this issue is weighing heavily on her shoulders, so please feel free to offer her your support. Only don't do it at her place. :)
So without further ado...


Confessional


I don’t think I’m in love with my husband anymore. That’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to admit to; I’ve thought it, but I’ve never told anyone else.

I never used to understand how people could have affairs. But now I do. Something disappears, and you try desperately to find it, eventually running into the arms of someone else.

I haven’t gotten there yet.

The thing is, he’s a good man, a sweet man. He’s a great, attentive dad. He does his share around the house. He comes home every night. And he loves me.

He just has trouble expressing it.

Oh, and I need that. I need it so desperately. I want romance, I want love notes. I want affection. I want someone I can talk to for hours.

But that’s not him.

I realize I’ve changed. So has he. But I think I’ve outgrown him. I think, finally, I’ve come into my own and know very clearly what I want and what I need.

And it doesn’t seem to be him.

So I contemplate. What to do? An affair is out of the question. It’s wrong, and although I’m not in love with him, I do love him. I couldn’t bear to hurt him that way. Besides, who would I have an affair with? I’m oh-so-picky when it comes to men, and I’m not going to destroy my marriage and hurt that man with some sales guy from Circuit City.

No, if I’m gonna go, I’m gonna go big.

If I’m cheating, it’s going to be with the absolute love of my life. It’s going to be for the earth-shattering, soul-rocking and all-consuming love I’ve always wanted.

And the sex to go with it.

That—that has gone downhill. Lately my desire has gone way up; his has gone way down. And when it happens, well, I’ve had better. And the kissing. My God, I love to kiss. Didn’t he used to kiss well? Where did that go?

I don’t know what to do.

I’m working on myself, trying to find what is missing inside. Maybe then I can look at him differently. I can’t help but think there’s something wrong with me, that my expectations are unrealistic, that what I’m looking for simply doesn’t exist.

I can’t throw out 14 years of my life just like that. No matter how badly I want to sometimes.

We’ve been to couples therapy, but nothing has changed. I’m contemplating therapy on my own to try and find out what’s going on with me so I can make a decision and go with it.

I don’t want to wait 10 years only to discover that he will never be what I want and need. If I’m going to start my life over, I rather do it now, while I’m still relatively young and desirable. While I still feel I can start over.

But right now I just don’t know what to do.



Thank you, Megan, for being honest and courageous enough to share your life with us.
You've got my love and support.



WARNING LABEL: I anticipate that some guest posts may venture into the realm of controversy. As always, opinions of all varieties are welcome, but please remember that the way you present your opinion is a direct reflection on your level of intelligence. You may be shitty to me if you wish, but trolls who comment on my special guest's posts will be terminated with extreme prejudice after being held up for ridicule. Thank you, The Management
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