but first...
I do so admire a man who can admit he has a problem. Who isn't afraid to say he acted in a shameful manner. Who can, with great sincerity and humility, offer a public apology.
You're such the ultimate bad boy...but for all these reasons (and more), I still love you, Russell.
Now, I wish you all to give an extra-warm welcome to today's guest blogger, Steph, of The Incurable Insomniac.
She is one of the most incredibly talented people I've ever had the pleasure to know...composer, accomplished musician, and author. She's a most excellent writer~and paints glorious word pictures to make even the mundanities of life seem special. Steph has suffered much tragedy in her life, but despite that she appears to have managed to find a sense of balance, peace, and has managed to retain a sense of humor.
I have to add, proudly, that she's a fellow Okielander, at least at the present time.
Steph's guest post today is more of a personal venting, and I know that many of us will be able to relate to some of her situations. She shows her courage in openly sharing her life with us.
So please do what you all do best...offer her your warm support, encouragement, and friendship.
Here we go!
I pretty much like everybody and I seldom meet someone I can’t find at least some small quality I can focus on if they turn out to be a nimrod. This “naïveté” of mine sometimes exposes me to people who don’t have my best interests at heart, I admit. Friends and family have handed out yards of advice, telling me I need to practice selective vulnerability and not to emotionally embrace someone the moment I meet them. But I’d rather be open and risk getting hurt once in while than close down and miss out on befriending some really great people. I’m also not one to complain all that much about the hurts I’ve experienced throughout my life, but when Monty gave us the opportunity to vent I just had to jump on it. Having addressed those people who hurt me the most, I feel much better now. Sorry if a few of them are a bit negative, but hey.
These are in alphabetical order, not in the order of the severity of my vent.
To AS (a fellow author who slandered me all over the web): You can’t write and you can’t research. Hell, you can’t even come up with a thought of your own. No wonder you resort to tacky character assassinations when someone sees through you. Stay Down Under where you belong and find another career. Writing books is not your forte.
To CU (a childhood friend who became my manager many years ago, and who has suddenly resurfaced after 15 years): Has it ever occurred to you that I don’t answer your emails and phone calls because I might not want to be in touch with you? Do you think that maybe the way you swindled me out of 150 of my own compositions, plus sixty percent of anything they might have made back in the 80’s might have something to do with it?
To DB (a crank fan): You’re really sick. Seek help soon. Face it, Mozart is not your cabbage patch lover, so put the doll in the closet and start sleeping with your husband again.
To KH (a dangerous fan turned stalker): Just f***ing leave me alone. Quit stalking me and get a life. Jebus tits on toast! It’s been three years!
(Steph, you can say 'fuck' on here. It's really okay. :) )
To LT (an ex-lover): I can’t believe I wasted four years on you, you abusive, gold digging bitch. Thanks to you I lost my good credit rating, my piano, my personal belongings, my reputation, my self-esteem and nearly my mind. Thanks too for killing my mentor by adding to his already delicate stress level with your lies and back-stabbing.
To MD (an ex-girlfriend): Maybe someday you’ll pull your vacuous head out of that big ass of yours and realize that you’ve burned and consumed nearly everyone who ever cared about you.
To MM (a self-published author who was going to publish my book, but pulled out 2 weeks before it went to print, with no explanation. I still don’t know why): I hope your karma finds you. Quickly. But maybe it already has. My career is blooming without your help, while you’re still just a slug in the desert.
To RW (my older brother): I hope you rot in hell. Forcing sex on me from the ages of 2 to 11 was just plain evil. I hope trading my pound of flesh in for the impotence you’ve had for the past twenty-five years was worth it to you.
To SS (a groupie who won’t go away): Go play with yourself.
To TS (a deceased friend’s lover): You killed our best friend by not telling him you had AIDS. My only consolation is that you’re dead now, too.
To WW (my mom): You hurt me over and over again in so many ways. I understand where your pain came from and forgive you, but I sure am happier now that you’re gone. I never knew life could be so calm and fear-free.
Thank you, Steph, for sharing with us. My heart goes out to you, and I admire your courage and perseverance in your life.
Now, go visit the fabulous Steph and share some love.
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