A mini-pimp and a conversation

Make plans now to tune in
Friday night at 9pm CST (10pm EST, 7pm PST)
for
Friday Night Live with Monty (me)
with special Guest Star
GOLFWIDOW!

Plus the usual unpreparedness and insanity. Good times.

---

...with my daughter, the teetotaler:

She: "What are you drinking?"
ME: "What's it to ya? Are you the drink police?"
She: "No! But I was just curious."
ME: "A glass of wine. Is that okay with you, missy?"
She: *siiiiiiigh* "I guess. I just don't really approve of that."

WHERE DID I GO WRONG??

Christmas Card Alert!

So comes the time of year when we think of things like cookies, reindeer, pretty lights and fat dudes in red. No, it's not the annual Vegas trip.

YOU know what I'm talking about. And may I just take a moment to point to the sidebar on the right, whereupon a tiny link called "My Wishlist" resides (hover your mouse-pointer over it for a special message). Just in case you, you know, were feeling generous or something.

NOW.
As much as I'd love to give each and every one of you one of these for Christmas, I'm a broke mofo (single-motherhood isn't so great for Gift Budgets), so don't be sitting by the mailbox waiting--you'll only be disappointed when the mailman looks at you sadly (once again) and shakes his head (once again).

HOWEVER.
I would like to send you a Christmas card--in which I will actually write. By hand, not type. Kooky, huh? I KNOW!
That means you have to email me your address. And may I just take a moment to point to the sidebar on the left, whereupon a "Contact" link resides (in big purple letters. Can't miss it).

ALSO!
I have somehow misplaced my address book, so even if you think I already have your address...I probably don't. Please send it again.

---

I love you. Pass it on.

You know you want to touch it.

You need to see the creepiest accessory EVER MADE.

WHY O WHY would someone do that?

Word Picture Sunday

Join in the fun...don't forget to put your link in the Mr. Linky box so that everyone may come and admire your handiwork!

---

Now unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for
WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!

The rules are quite simple:
1. Pick a name from your blogroll
2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person
3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.
4. Post the blog, word, and picture.

See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.

---

This week I chose a woman who, in my mind, is THE Woman Of Substance. She's like rock covered in fluff covered in rock covered in fluff. What I mean is, she's strong/flexible/soft/resilient all at the same time. Of course I'm talking about my favorite nurse, Heather of Blog, Blah, Blah. She's funny, she's eloquent, caring, and tough. Her job has meaning, her life has meaning, SHE has meaning, so the word I chose was:

Meaningful



(and if you think the picture of wedding rings means that I would marry her, you would not be wrong) :)


Who'd YOU pick today?

Q of the D

*edit

Missed the show? No problem.
Part 2 of the Concert Series (and part 1, as well!) can be found RIGHT HERE.

Listen while you Meet & Greet.

---

Q of the D: (as stolen from The F-Man)

If I was your next door neighbor, what would you most likely say that I like best about living next door to you, and what would I say I dislike most about living next door to you?

Discuss.

Eat me, Pilgrim

Happy Thanksgiving!

You're on the list of things I'm thankful for today.

Hm.

Ever have one of those days when you just want to look at everyone around you and say, "Fuck all y'all" ??

Oh.
Yeah.
Me neither.
I was just wondering.

One additional thought.

I'm not going to lie; I do want to be a burden on my children when I get old.
It's all about the PAYBACK, BABY!

---

Haha, just kidding.

---

Mostly.

Thoughts From Sonic

Strange, what floats through your mind while waiting for a Route 44 iced tea and cheddr peppers from the Crackhouse.

---

I bet Princes William and Harry are happy--and relieved--that they don't look much like their dad.

---

I think the whole "Goth" thing is just an excuse for boys to wear makeup.

---

I've never, ever seen a male carhop at Sonic.

---

When I was a waitress, there may (allegedly!) have been a time or two or so when I may (allegedly!) have been rude to a stupid asshole customer.
The asshole customer may (allegedly!) have said something like, "I'll have your job!"
It may (allegedly!) have taken all my willpower not to reply, "Why the hell would you want it? It sucks. You'd have to deal with people like you."

---

People are the biggest hazard to the human race.

---

Whenever I hear (or say) the phrase "Hump-day", I have a mental picture of people walking around rubbing up on each other all day.

---

Sometimes I tell people that I have a tattoo on my lower belly that says, "Abandon all hope ye who enter here" and a little down-pointing arrow.

---

I don't really have any tattoos.

---

That is all.
Have a day.
Go to the Crackhouse.

Word Picture Sunday

Join in the fun...don't forget to put your link in the Mr. Linky box so that everyone may come and admire your handiwork!

---

Now unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for
WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!

The rules are quite simple:
1. Pick a name from your blogroll
2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person
3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.
4. Post the blog, word, and picture.

See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.

---

This week I'm featuring one of my favorite people (I know, I always say that, but it's always true): Birdie, formerly of The Beauty Dish, which was filled with the most remarkable stories of being an Avon Lady.
She's given up the Avon in favor of publishing a book(!!), but I have always loved the way Birdie can bring life to a story--her words full of excitement that brings you right along side her in her adventures. She's one of those talented people who can tell the tale and make you see it, without being overly wordy or pretentious. I love Birdie, and you will too.

The word for Birdie is:

VIBRANCE



Come play with me.

Putting it into perspective

**EDIT! What you missed last night...

Friday Night Live with Monty: v. CONCERT SERIES (Part One)

AND!
Excellent music
Lots and lots (and LOTS!) of wine (Steph, you should've been there!)
Love, love, love
A Mr. Fab-induced giggle fit
A big chesty laugh
Hoss Cartwright
Bea Arthur
Game of the future: SCULPEYOPOLY!
and
Me

Luckily I uploaded the whole debacle show for you RIGHT HERE.

TUNE IN LIVE next week for PART TWO of the Concert Series.

---

One of the sites I lurk via bloglines is this wonderful lady, Jill.

Yesterday I read a paragraph that made so much sense to me, it was like a bell in my head and my first thought was simply "EXACTLY!"...I've observed this behavior in people. I think there are many of us who could benefit from her wisdom.
(the bolding is my doing)

"To put it in a simple way, I think excessive optimism is hazardous to a person's mental health. When you put too much trust out, it can come back to you in the form of paranoia. When you expect someone you love to have the same interpretation of a certain positive action or honor, if they don't you experience resentment. Sowing too much perceived "good" does not necessarily reap good in terms of mental health benefits. Both negative and positive feelings should be admitted in a direct way and without expectation that the listener will reply or comply or return in kind, etc. This too is about accountability."

In other, less elegant words...keep it real. Really real, for your own sake.

And (I'm directly admitting that) excessive optimistics get on my nerves sometimes, because I tend toward cantankerousness.

I'm okay with that facet of myself.

Crappuccino?

I love coffee. I do, even though we've recently been having issues with one another.
However.
I was just now reading about a really rare coffee called Kopi Luwak, which I believe translates to "cat shit" or "poop coffee" (okay, civet shit, but close enough).

Apparently these civets eat the best coffee beans, crap them out whole, and then people gather up the shit, wash off the beans and sell 'em.

Also filed under "jobs I don't ever want to have".

There are some lengths to which even I will not go for a caffeine fix.

---

in other news...

Be sure to tune in to my show tomorrow night (FRIDAY!) at 9pm CST (10pm EST) for Friday Night Live on EMPIRE RADIO, as the jet-setting MR FABULOUS brings you the "Hey baby, what's your sign?" horoscope segment!

Tune in. Don't make him cry. It ain't pretty.

Divided by fours

One of my newest pals, the lovely Smiler, has chosen to ignore my anti-social tendencies tagged me with a Foursome. (that sort of sounds dirty. I like it)

---

The Four Meme.



4 jobs I've had:
Waitress
Telemarketer (I know! Ick! I was only 20)
Hotel General Manager (Studio 6, La Quinta Inn)
Writer/Photographer

4 movies I love to watch over and over:
Sense and Sensibility
Waiting For Guffman
The Big Chill
Monty Python and the Holy Grail

4 places I have lived:
Luther, Oklahoma
Edmond, Oklahoma
Jones, Oklahoma
Midwest City, Oklahoma

4 TV shows I enjoy watching:
Grey's Anatomy
The Amazing Race
Hell's Kitchen (and Kitchen Nightmares, I loves me some Gordon Ramsay! YUM)
Boston Legal

4 places I have been:
Disney Land (CA)
Disney World (FL)
New Orleans, LA
6th St. in Austin, TX


4 websites I visit daily:
Bloglines (how ELSE could I lurk you all?)
Facebook
eBay (no, it's for my JOB!)
iGoogle


4 favorite foods:
General Tso's chicken
My dad's homemade lemonade pie
Pimiento cheese
Ice cream. Any ice cream.

4 places I would rather be:
On a beach in the Carribbean
Visiting the home of anyone on my blogroll
In a snuggly log cabin in the mountains
In bed

4 blogs I'm tagging:
You
You
You and
you

Should you decide to accept this mission, please leave me a comment so that I may come and admire your work.

---

That is all.
Have a day.

MotherTalk Book Review - The Thirteenth Tale

"A good story is always more dazzling than a broken piece of truth." Vida Winter

When I was given a brief synopsis of this book, The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield, I immediately signed on; it sounded right up my alley.

It's a story about a story, filled with half-truths, secrets, mysteries and scandal. LOTS of scandal. Definitely my kind of book.

Conjoined twins, feral twins, death and sex and murder and mysterious disappearances, twisted love and even a smidge of romance.

We have a young bookish girl who works in her father's bookshop and a reclusive, elderly author of 'popular fiction'.
The author, Vida, has kept her past vague and mostly hidden...but as she comes to the end of her life she decides, once and for all, to bring forth the truth--but in her own way. Vida chooses Margaret Lea (who has no particular fame other than a well-researched, well-written biographical essay) to record Vida's life story. As Margaret hears the story, her own story becomes entwined with Vida's life.

There are twists and turns around every corner, with a hint of goth and a taste of otherworldliness--this was the perfect book with which to lie a-bed on a rainy evening with a cup of hot chocolate.

I think I put the book down once...because I had to pee. This book captured my imagination right away and sucked me right down into the story and didn't let go until the end (which, I should add, was great--you know how I like all the ends tied up neatly so THIS was quite satisfactory).

Really, I wish I could tell you more...and let's face it, I could if I really wanted to...but I won't. READ IT.

Before I got the book I read this description: "...tinged with the eeriness of Rebecca and the willfulness of Jane Eyre" and I sort of agree, but in my opinion, the language of the book put me in mind of Barbara Michaels or--even better!--Phyllis A. Whitney. Yeah, it sort of had that Phyllis feel to it.
Did you know how much I love Phyllis A. Whitney? A lot.

Anyway.
Don't take my word for it, read it yourself. And check out the interactive website right here.

Besides, in a couple of weeks there won't be any new episodes of your favorite TV shows for awhile and you'll need new books to read.
Make The Thirteenth Tale one of them.

Word Picture Sunday! Yeah!

Join in the fun...don't forget to put your link in the Mr. Linky box so that everyone may come and admire your handiwork!

---

Now unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for
WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!

The rules are quite simple:
1. Pick a name from your blogroll
2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person
3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.
4. Post the blog, word, and picture.

See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.

---

This week's feature is Brian from An Audience Of One. He's a fellow Okie and a very dear friend with whom I've been fortunate enough to spend Real Life time--it was difficult to narrow it down to a single word. Brian is just...bright. Intelligent, clear-thinking, kind, sweet, and thoughtful. He's a light in the darkness for many of us, including the kids that he works with every day.
So the word I chose for Brian was:

Beacon



Who'd you pick this week?

I KNOW you're sorry you missed it.

As well you should be. That's okay; out of the kindness of my heart I'll let you listen to the podcast RIGHT HERE or you can listen with the player below.

Sexy Finn from "A Life Less Ordinary" was in the hizzouse, bringin' your fo' reals horoscope and you DON'T want to miss that!


Click here to get your own player.

---

---

Quote o' the Day:

"Sometimes I feel like I'm a size 10 foot and my life is a size 8 stiletto." --Me

FRIDAY! NIGHT! LIVE!

Do you really need a reminder?

Tune in tonight at 9pm CST (that's 10pm EST, 7pm Pacific)
for
FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE WITH MONTY!
only on EMPIRE RADIO

PLUS!
Special guest FINN brings you "Hey baby, what's your sign?" tonight
Super sounds of the 80s!
Reality TV update!
and
Me.

Tune it in. TURN IT UP.

Chat room will be open!

Come and listen. It's more fun than a barrel of people.

A conversation with my mother

We were briefly discussing the writer's strike, and mom wondered aloud how long it was likely to go on.

ME: "Well, the strike in the 80s lasted 22 weeks, from what I hear."

MOM: "What strike in the 80s? There was a strike in the 80s?"

ME: "Don't you remember?"

MOM: "No, do you?"

ME:: "No. I was working and had games & drama & debate & stuff."

MOM: "I never even knew there was a strike before. But between your ball games, your sister's tournaments and your brother's ball games, we were never home until time for you all to go to bed."

ME: "I guess we didn't miss much."

MOM: "Nope, we didn't miss a thing."

---

It was good to be reminded that there are other, more important things in life than TV.

Promoting atheism to the children?

A friend of mine sent me an email warning about the movie "The Golden Compass".

It reads:

Just wanted to inform you what I just learned about a movie that is coming out December 7, during the Christmas season, which is entitled THE GOLDEN COMPASS. It stars Nicole Kidman and it is directed toward children. What is disturbing to me is that this movie is based on the first of a trilogy of books for children called HIS DARK MATERIALS written by Philip Pullman of England. He's an atheist and his objective is to bash Christianity and promote atheism. I heard that he has made remarks that he wants to kill God in the minds of children, and that's what his books are all about. He despises C. S. Lewis and Narnia, etc. An article written about him said "this is the most dangerous author in Britain" and that Pullman would be the writer "the atheists would be praying for, if atheists prayed." Pullman said he doesn't think it is possible that there is a God and he has great difficulty understanding the words "spiritual" and "spirituality." What I thought was important to communicate is what part of the agenda is for making this picture. This movie is a watered down version of the first book, which is the least offensive of the three books. The second book of the trilogy is THE SUBTLE KNIFE and the third book is THE AMBER SPYGLASS. Each book gets worse and worse regarding Pullman's hatred of God. In the trilogy, a young girl becomes enmeshed in an epic struggle against a nefarious Church known as the Magisterium. Another character, an ex-nun, describes Christianity as "a very powerful and convincing mistake." As I understand it, in the last book, a boy and girl are depicted representing Adam and Eve and they kill God, who at times is called YAHWEH. Since the movie would seem mild if you viewed it, that's been done on purpose. They are hoping that unsuspecting parents will take their children to see the movie, that they will enjoy the movie and then the children will want the books for Christmas. That's the hook. Pullman says he wants the children to read the books and decide against God and the kingdom of heaven. If you decide that you do not want to support something like this, I suggest that you boycott the movie and the books. I googled a synopsis of THE GOLDEN COMPASS. As I skimmed it, I couldn't believe that in a children's book part of the story is about castration and female circumcision. If you want to read about the first book, go to www.sparknotes.com/lit/hisdarkmaterials/section1.html

Here's the Snopes verification.

---

One of the book reviewers says: "Pullman says his message that he wants to get across to kids is that which he has written on a note on his writing desk, 'So: There is a God, but he is a liar and he's mortal.'"

---

Check out the links.
Your thoughts??

Technically challenged am I

I need a nice graphic. Who can make me a nice little graphic?

(For free, I mean. I'VE NEVER PAID FOR IT IN MY LIFE! Despite what you may hear to the contrary. LIES, LIES I TELL YOU!)

Music to my ears?

My baby girl's first band concert is tonight...an hour of Christmas music from the beginning band class.

Should be interesting.

Wanna come?

Strike this.

I could be wrong here--after all, I don't really know how guilds and unions work and what's more, I could give a crap.
However.

Seems to me that if you work for an organization that provides you with a measure of job security, wages above that of the national average AND excellent bennies (because, you know, SOME of us don't even HAVE benefits of any sort with our jobs), you should shut your fucking pie-holes and do your jobs.

Srsly, it's not like your company asked you to murder somebody. Well, at least if they did it's only on paper in a script.
What are the writers striking for, again? Damned if I can remember.
OH YEAH, that's right! A bigger slice of the pie. More of the CHA-CHING from DVD sales/rentals/whatever.
Greedy bastards.

I think when people like that go on strike, they should be forced to take jobs working minimum wage with NO benefits and NO job security AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE THAT.

Is all I'm saying.

Captain Trips?

You know, my son is severely disabled, along with most of his classmates. Not a school year goes by without him or one of those classmates doing hospital time.
He's extremely susceptible to various bugs & illness.

Have you ever read The Stand, by Stephen King?

This MRSA Superbug thingy scares the ever-lovin' shit out of me.

Word Picture Sunday

(Don't forget to download or listen to my Super 70s Show!)

---

Unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for
WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!

The rules are quite simple:
1. Pick a name from your blogroll
2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person
3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.
4. Post the blog, word, and picture.

See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.

---

This week's victim: Amanda from Amandaland!

She's from my neck of the woods and we've met in person. There are many words I could choose for this wonderful woman...however, at this moment I'm still completely awed by her bravery.

Dauntless





Come and play!

Bonus!

Missed the live show last night? No problem. You can listen right here:


Super hits of the 70s!
An on-air chat with Tom Wyld of the group Wyld Dark Heart!
Your horoscope!
and
ME!

What? What did I do?

Dear Coffee,

How are you, my friend? You know, we've been together a really, really long time, ever since my grandma first served you to me in that green mug (remember that green mug? It was so cool, and I always got to be the one to use it because I was the oldest grandkid and I called it) with a half a cup of milk and a tablespoon of sugar.
Man, Coffee, Grandma always fixed you up just right. (and Grandma, if you're in heaven reading this over my shoulder right now, HI! And stop reading over my shoulder, it creeps me out a little bit. And I love you!)
Anyway.
Coffee, my true love, I have enjoyed you in all your many forms...black, with sugar, with cream, with flavored creamer, in lattes and cappucinos and frappucinos (I have no idea how to spell all that stuff, so suck it)...I have loved you often and I have loved you well.
You know I have.
So what I want to know is what have you done to yourself? You've obviously been letting yourself go...I can't even feel the caffeine anymore! You have not been showing me the buzz-love in ages. I drink a whole pot of you in the morning and I still feel like going back to bed.
Sometimes I DO go back to bed for a 30 minute nap.
THE HELL?
That's not supposed to happen. Uh-uh, nohow, no way.
Where is that rush of caffeine pleasure? Where is my jolty, shaky goodness?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH IT?
I can drink you at night and still fall right to sleep.
I miss you, Coffee. I miss your caffeine zip.
No, I did not purchase your brother, Decaf Coffee, by mistake. I double-checked to make sure.

WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?

Look, if you don't do something to juice up the caffeine bite really soon, my flirtation with Red Bull is going to become a full-fledged affair.
Is all I'm saying.

Wanting us to be the way we were,
Monty