Go here: MikeDoe.Net
Join the Doe-Nuts.
Click around a LOT.
Funny, funny shit.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
FEEL THE BURN, BABY!
Okay, so I was a leeetle leery when I volunteered my guinea pig services to Mom Central for this blog tour, because Listerine always scared me.My grandma & grandpa ALWAYS used Listerine and when I spent the night at their house *I* had to use it too.
It was like drinking scalding bacon grease only much less tasty. (Sorry guys, but srsly, 30 years ago you KNOW that's how it was)
ANYWAY. I decided to push my luck & said OKAY, send me the Listerine Total Care to try. I figured at the very least I could use it to punish my daughter for sassing.
HEY, guess what? Still burns...but not as bad as I thought it would. In FACT I compared it to another brand of whitening-type rinse who shall remain nameless
PLUS!
Helps prevent cavities
Restores enamel
Strengthens teeth (which is cool because I use my teeth for things I shouldn't)(not THAT, perv)
Kills bad breath germs
FRESH BREATH FTW!
And fights plaque.
There you go. I like all that stuff because I never had any problems with my teeth until I got pregnant and my children LEECHED(leached?) the LIFE RIGHT OUT OF ME including my teeth.Go getcha some Listerine Total Care.
No seriously.
You need some mouthwash.
Or at least a tictac.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
A TOP 10 LIST about SXSW
My friend Lisa wrote a list about South By SouthWest (SxSW) and it made me laugh so hard I wanted to share it.
Also from checking out flickr, the "tech" part of SxSW consisted mostly of drinking and karaoke. Is all I'm saying.
"Top Ten Reasons I Didn’t Go to SXSW" by PPRLisa
10. They filled their “maven” quota before I could register
9. Heard @ChrisBrogan would be performing a belly dance and no one should have to see that
8. The #iRoadTrip guys found me stowing away in the back of the car before they left Detroit
7. I only go to shows with three X’s in them
6. Wouldn’t want to miss all of the unnecessary hashtagging on Twitter by actually participating in the event
5. Was intimidated knowing that I could never out-dress @ScottMonty
4. @marketingprofs and I planned a WAY cooler, secret, invite only virtual social media conference
3. Not everyone in social media’s mom lets them leave the basement for a whole week
2. I heard all the REALLY cool kids were going to the Star Trek convention
and
1. I enjoy sleep
Also from checking out flickr, the "tech" part of SxSW consisted mostly of drinking and karaoke. Is all I'm saying.
"Top Ten Reasons I Didn’t Go to SXSW" by PPRLisa
10. They filled their “maven” quota before I could register
9. Heard @ChrisBrogan would be performing a belly dance and no one should have to see that
8. The #iRoadTrip guys found me stowing away in the back of the car before they left Detroit
7. I only go to shows with three X’s in them
6. Wouldn’t want to miss all of the unnecessary hashtagging on Twitter by actually participating in the event
5. Was intimidated knowing that I could never out-dress @ScottMonty
4. @marketingprofs and I planned a WAY cooler, secret, invite only virtual social media conference
3. Not everyone in social media’s mom lets them leave the basement for a whole week
2. I heard all the REALLY cool kids were going to the Star Trek convention
and
1. I enjoy sleep
Friday, March 20, 2009
My First Aid Kit
I LOVE when Mom Central lets me try new products from companies with whom I'm already familiar... and I LOVE me some Neosporin!They have a cool new SPRAY ON antiseptic/pain reliever... I told my daughter to go run around outside until she fell down and scraped something so we could try it out.
KIDDING.
Mostly.
She's clumsy like her dad with his big ol' clown feet that she inherited.
HEY I'm just saying.
Luckily *I* managed to walk into the doorframe
The pain-relief part of the Neosporin REALLY WORKS.
I've been using the neosporin ointment for years...FINALLY I tried the cream also and I am just as happy with that - moreso, when I need somewhere that might get on my clothes.
ANYWAY.
The cool little "ToGo" spray on Neosporin is VERY EXCELLENT. Prevent infection AND ease the pain all at the same time. No way to go wrong there.
If you don't use Neosporin, you should...especially if you're clumsy. Or maybe...not so coordinated in the kitchen. This stuff eases the burn sting as well when you get get spattered with hot bacon grease. Or so I hear.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
In which I explain why Twitter is becoming full of suck.
Poor, poor Twitter.
Say, remember when Twitter had fewer users and people weren't posting nothing but links to this and that and the other thing? And hardly ANYONE re-tweeted or used hashtags?
Aaaaaah, the good old days.
Now it's all about Social Media and the Experts and Gurus and Mavens.
What's funny is that all the social media people spend their time sucking up to the other cliquey social media people...
...which is weird to me because one would THINK that, as a social media EXPERT/MAVEN/GURU, the focus would be on drawing in the regular folk. Aren't the non-SM people the ones to whom you need to sell, to relate?
Based on some informal polling of "Regular People ie NON SOCIAL MEDIA PEOPLE", I have discovered some facts:
Nobody likes nothing but retweets.
Nobody likes nothing but LINKS, especially the self-promotion.
The hashtags! OH DEAR LORD, THE HASHTAGS.
Also? THE NUMBERS ARE MEANINGLESS.
I read some "suggestions" from "power tweeters" and laughed my ASS off. According to them, the way to grow your audience/base is to follow everyone and tweet links and do a bunch of retweets that YOU, as an SM person, feel are relevant.
So you get 2 or 3 thousand (or 10 thousand) followers and suddenly you're a "power twitter user".
First of all, that's the most ridiculous term I ever heard.
Secondly... HOW many of those 2/3/10/50 thousand people ever actually read what you have to say? Percentage-wise.
Go check out some of your 2K (or 10K+) followers and see how many people they're following besides you.
How many of your "relevant" links and retweets are actually getting NOTICED by all those thousands of followers?
Exactly.
So unless they spend 24 out of every 24 hours on twitter, the chances that they will A. See most of the stuff you post
or
2. Visit everyone's profile pages to see what's been written
are exactly SLIM and NONE.
I follow just over 500 people and I miss TONS of stuff. If I'm being honest (damn I sounded just like Simon Cowell right then), there are a handful of people whom I summize daily. The rest? I catch when I can.
I'm not saying social media doesn't have a place; nor am I saying that it can't be lucrative.
What I'm saying is that the only people who find social media interesting are OTHER people in social media.
The rest of the world could give a flying hot shit.
Every "SM" person I've run across thinks they have all the answers.
If that were true... I wouldn't be writing this post right now because you have ANNOYED THE EVERLOVIN' CRAP RIGHT OUT OF ME with your retweets and self-promotion and OH I AM A GURU/MAVEN AND I KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS AND HOW TO MAKE IT WORK.
If it were that easy, we'd all be doing it and making a fortune.
Just like Amway. Right?
Say, remember when Twitter had fewer users and people weren't posting nothing but links to this and that and the other thing? And hardly ANYONE re-tweeted or used hashtags?
Aaaaaah, the good old days.
Now it's all about Social Media and the Experts and Gurus and Mavens.
What's funny is that all the social media people spend their time sucking up to the other cliquey social media people...
...which is weird to me because one would THINK that, as a social media EXPERT/MAVEN/GURU, the focus would be on drawing in the regular folk. Aren't the non-SM people the ones to whom you need to sell, to relate?
Based on some informal polling of "Regular People ie NON SOCIAL MEDIA PEOPLE", I have discovered some facts:
Nobody likes nothing but retweets.
Nobody likes nothing but LINKS, especially the self-promotion.
The hashtags! OH DEAR LORD, THE HASHTAGS.
Also? THE NUMBERS ARE MEANINGLESS.
I read some "suggestions" from "power tweeters" and laughed my ASS off. According to them, the way to grow your audience/base is to follow everyone and tweet links and do a bunch of retweets that YOU, as an SM person, feel are relevant.
So you get 2 or 3 thousand (or 10 thousand) followers and suddenly you're a "power twitter user".
First of all, that's the most ridiculous term I ever heard.
Secondly... HOW many of those 2/3/10/50 thousand people ever actually read what you have to say? Percentage-wise.
Go check out some of your 2K (or 10K+) followers and see how many people they're following besides you.
How many of your "relevant" links and retweets are actually getting NOTICED by all those thousands of followers?
Exactly.
So unless they spend 24 out of every 24 hours on twitter, the chances that they will A. See most of the stuff you post
or
2. Visit everyone's profile pages to see what's been written
are exactly SLIM and NONE.
I follow just over 500 people and I miss TONS of stuff. If I'm being honest (damn I sounded just like Simon Cowell right then), there are a handful of people whom I summize daily. The rest? I catch when I can.
I'm not saying social media doesn't have a place; nor am I saying that it can't be lucrative.
What I'm saying is that the only people who find social media interesting are OTHER people in social media.
The rest of the world could give a flying hot shit.
Every "SM" person I've run across thinks they have all the answers.
If that were true... I wouldn't be writing this post right now because you have ANNOYED THE EVERLOVIN' CRAP RIGHT OUT OF ME with your retweets and self-promotion and OH I AM A GURU/MAVEN AND I KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS AND HOW TO MAKE IT WORK.
If it were that easy, we'd all be doing it and making a fortune.
Just like Amway. Right?
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