Out with the old, in with the NEW YEAR.
but first...
Sadly, there will be no Monty Does Mojo tonight.
Yeah, I can see the disappointment all over your little faces.
I will be busy drinking margaritas and white russians, vanilla rum and coke, and most likely making a fool of myself.
Damn shame I won't be near a computer, because that would be the perfect blogging time.
Monty Does Mojo will return at its regularly scheduled time next Sunday.
As I am a foin Irish lass, I offer an Irish New Year's toast--so raise your glasses high:
"May we be alive at this time next year.
In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship but never in want.
May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.
If you’re enough lucky to be Irish...
You’re lucky enough!
(and finally) Here's to you and here's to me
I pray good friends we'll always be
But if by chance we disagree...
TO HELL WITH YOU! And here's to me!
Slàinte!"
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Third time is the charm...
It wasn't my fault.Blame Hallmark dot com.
Is all I'm saying.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 9:45 AM
Sunday, December 24, 2006
IT'S ALMOST TIME!
That's right....The SUPER SIZE, Politically Incorrect Christmas Eve Show!Tune it in. TURN IT UP.
MOJO RADIO.
Come and join us for the Santa Watch Party!
PLUS:
A special reading of 'Twas The Night Before Christmas
Traditional carols
Naughty songs
A Christmas Gift Contest! Wooohooo! (with prizes!)
Chock full of Holiday Goodness!
...Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
I love you. Pass it on.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 7:48 PM
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Well shuck my drawers & call me nekkid
HOLY SHIT!We just had a 2.5 earthquake.
!!!
Yeah, I know, some of you are thinking, "Big deal!"
But this is Oklahoma, for crap's sake. We get tornadoes, not earthquakes.
It made a big boom.
Did you know? Hershey's has Cordial Cherry Kisses.
And did you know? they are the height of gastronomic delight.
Orgasmic.
*shudder*
Don't forget to tune in to my Christmas Eve show on Sunday, 8pm.
There's going to be a new contest.
I got my Christmas cards out a little late.
I'm in hopes they'll arrive before Christmas...but don't hold your breath.
That is all.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 9:33 PM
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
!!!!!!!!!!
"Your friendships are the strong, colorful threads that weave the beautiful tapestry of my life." --aka_MontyWhere do I begin?
I begin, I suppose, with a Thank You.
To whom? To ALL OF YOU.
Even though the words "Thank You" are far too small to express what I want to say.
I would say it to each of you individually, but you have stymied me, you wonderful anonymous benefactors.
I was going to go with a whole Sally Field "You like me! You really like me!" thing, but...this is bigger, better, deeper than that.
I went to the mailbox this morning, feeling pretty good, since my boss gave me a little Christmas bonus yesterday and I was busy planning how to spend it, thinking on what little extra thing I could give my children.
I reached into the mailbox and withdrew a card addressed in red ink. No return address.
I didn't think that was unusual, because lots of people don't put a return addy on cards.
I smiled, wondering who it was from, and opened the envelope as I walked across the crunchy leaves in my front yard.
I smiled, reading the card, anticipating the inside, wondering who the card was from.
Then.....
A Gift Card. An extravagantly generous, unexpected, and wonderful Gift Card.
With no names.
I stood on the front porch in disbelief, knees weak, crying, smiling at the sky, thanking you in my heart and my mind. I think my heart grew so big with love for you that it spilled out all over my porch.
I could not speak.
I am undone by your love, your generosity, your caring.
I wish I knew any words big and powerful enough to convey what I felt at just that moment. What I'm still feeling.
YOU.ROCK.MY.WORLD.
And I mean that.
You make me rich beyond my wildest dreams.
In the history of the world, has anyone ever had better friends than I have?
I think not.
My children would thank you if they could, because they're in for a very, very Merry Christmas this year.
Thank you. I love you, each and every one.
OH and PS How in the hell did you manage to keep such a secret from me? :)
OH and PPS Wouldn't you like to reveal yourself to me?
PPPS Please?
Posted by aka_Monty @ 10:00 AM
Monday, December 18, 2006
Don't be sad if you missed...
...MONTY DOES MOJO--because it is NOW AVAILABLE* for download!Click here to get your own player.
*For a limited time only **
**Not really. It's ALWAYS available. Just like me.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 1:06 PM
Sunday, December 17, 2006
The Debriefing
First things first...MONTY DOES MOJO--THE HOSTILE TAKEOVER
There was a brief insurrection in the ranks, but I ruthlessly quashed it.
PLUS:
ºA Drinking Game
ºDouble Shots
ºTWO SPECIAL dedications
ºAs always, your weekly HOROSCOPE
You don't want to miss this show.
I appear to have survived The Mission, but I don't mind telling you it was touch and go for a while.
Unfortunately, as I was busy congratulating myself on a job well done, I realized that I had left two names off my list.
Dammit.
Now I have to go back. *gak*
And the wrapping, O! the wrapping.
I'm thinking gift bags. Or paper grocery sacks. Whatever.
Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Please refrain from answering that last question.
My darling daughter made a pot of coffee this morning, so that it would be ready when I got up. It was more delicious than mine.
She's either The Perfect Child or The Bad Seed.
Only time will tell.
However, I've started calling her Rhoda, just in case.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 12:34 PM
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Black Op
I am on a mission.I have a list.
I will take no prisoners.
Yes, I am going Christmas shopping...
All.
In.
One.
Day.
I work better under pressure. Hey, that's how I roll.
Now...wish me luck.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 3:01 PM
Requiem For A Blog (Or Two)
Friends, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of THESE TWO blogs.Their owners, due to some strange malady, perhaps a brain tumor or two, have elected to close up shop.
Their blogs are no more.
They have ceased to be.
Two of the most gifted people I've ever been privileged to "know"...two people who know how to string the words together so well as to make you feel the stories they share...you can touch them, taste them.
Brando's stories were sometimes surreal, yet perfectly understandable. He has the gift of being able to draw you in, make you empathize, feeling layers of emotion. Just self-deprecating enough to bring gentle humor and a sense of poignancy to the writing, without ever sounding like a martyr or a victim.
Brandon, I'm going to miss you something awful.
Then there's Kat. Lordy, I'm going to miss that girl. She's incredibly talented--sharing bits of her life interspersed with the most wonderful stories that frequently brought tears to my eyes...and always, always left me wondering if the stories were true or a creation only of her mind.
It's part of the mystery of Kat, and the blogosphere is going to be a less wonderful place without I Hate Kit Kats.
If you are unfamiliar with either of those blogs, I can only say that it is surely to your detriment.
Now, in order to properly mourn them, we must drink a lot of booze, send drunken, nonsensical emails to people whether we know them or not, and post gloriously brilliant things.
I'm up for everything except perhaps the last.
I'm going to miss you two.
And I'm dedicating some music to you on this week's radio show. You'll like it.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 9:25 AM
Sunday, December 10, 2006
HEY! YOU! Yeah YOU!
So, you missed it.So, you can download now.
BONUS: NAME THAT SHOW Contest!
(with
excitingprizes!)Click here to get your own player.
Quote o' the Day:
"Never miss a good chance to shut up." --James Patterson
Posted by aka_Monty @ 8:14 PM
Friday, December 08, 2006
Me Thinks.
As tempting as it (sometimes) is, I never, ever read the end of the book first.It just seems sort of like...cheating.
Mostly it seems totally disrespectful to the author who labored to craft the story for you (and by YOU I mean ME).
It's the getting there that's the fun part.
If you (and by YOU I mean YOU) authored a book, wouldn't you want someone to be so absorbed in your words that they just kept reading so they could get to the end?
I would.
Maybe Thumper could weigh in here, as a published author of several books (that I do love dearly!).
It really irritates me when people call this
"A YING YANG". It
Seriously.
Annoys.
Me.
And I mentally roll my eyes and wonder why I'm talking to that person at all.
Do people say that in your state, or is it just Okies?
Sometimes I grossly overestimate my own appeal.
I live on a fairly busy street, and when my daughter comes home from school I go to the end of the driveway to "help" her across the street (because I don't trust the dumbass drivers who sometimes run the red light because they're utter MORONS)...and she is on her side and I'm on my side and the traffic is rushing between us...and the song "Running Bear" always plays an endless loop in my head.
I typed my URL as bran-soup.blogspot.com twice today.
Do you think I'm subliminally telling myself I need more fiber in my diet?
I wonder why people so often use discrete when they clearly mean discreet.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 2:00 PM
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Big deal.
So, I got a note from my son's teacher.It may not seem like much--after all, he's 11 years old.
You may not understand why, but not only is it a big deal, it's a HUGE deal.
You see, he fed himself. All by himself. He scooped the food out of the bowl and put it in his mouth, with no-one holding his hand or elbow. And then he did it again. And again. Until all the food was gone.
He fed himself.
I cried.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 8:44 PM
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
An Addendum
I've been fretting, worrying, about Christmas this year because...well...quite honestly my financial situation is somewhat grim and I can't afford to give everyone the lovely things I want to give them.Now, I try to keep the focus on what Christmas means--means to us, in my family, anyway--but there's nothing I love more than the bright and glowing faces of children when they wake up Christmas morning and see what's under the tree.
Then last night I overheard a conversation between my mother and my daughter.
MOM: "So, what do you want for Christmas this year? You haven't given me a list."
DAUGHTER: "I don't really want anything, I just want to spend time with the whole family together. That's the important thing."
This tiny 11 year old person could teach me a thing or two.
How did I ever get so lucky?
A recommendation...
Mamacita sent me this book:
and I urge you to read it. It's wrenching and warming and beautiful.
After I turned the last page, my heart--like the Grinch's--grew three sizes that day.
If you missed Sunday's show, you can LISTEN HERE to Monty Does Mojo.
In case you were wondering.
Have a day.
That is all.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 9:38 AM
Monday, December 04, 2006
Monday Morning Mishmash
A Joke...One day, a young Native American walked up to his father and said, "Papa, how are our names chosen for us when we're born?"
The father replied, "When the child is born, the teepee flap is pulled back and the child is named for the first thing the mother sees. For example, my name is Running Horse because a herd of horses passed by right after my birth. Your mother is Storm Cloud because that's what her mother first saw.
Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That always makes me laugh.
I would like to give thanks for and to this wonderful woman. Mamacita is one of my favorite people ever, because she is wise and beautiful and she knows stuff. A lot of stuff.
I received a fabulous packet in the mail, with hand-made Christmas stockings for my children and myself. I could feel the love in every stitch, and they are beautiful.
She also included a lovely little book, which my daughter immediately dived into and loved--now it is my turn.
Thank you, my sweet Mamacita.
Thank you number two: to the sexy and so sweet IcePrincez and Kinky DJ of KMRL Radio.
She sent me a funny card that was filled TO.THE.BRIM. with confetti.
I opened it and confetti went EVERYWHERE, all over me, my chair, the end table, and the floor.
I laughed and laughed and laughed.
Then decided to strangle her, which made me laugh some more. :)
Thanks Deb, I love yas.
Speaking of gift-giving...
I was reading something this weekend that troubled me.
The person who wrote it was damning Christmas and gift-giving. The person made no bones about hating Christmas and the obligation that was felt. Evidently the person feels that if someone gives them a Christmas gift they are obligated to return the favor...but giving something just for the sake of giving is perfectly okay.
Mmmm...isn't that part of the holiday spirit? Giving, just to give? Of yourself, of what you have?
Correct me if you're wrong (hehehe), but I should think that the Christmas holiday embodies the spirit of giving, with love, with kindness, without obligation. When someone gives me a Christmas gift, I assume it's because they want to, because they care for me, rather than just because they want/expect something in return. In fact, this particular time of year seems to bring out the giving spirit in full force for most people.
And quite frankly, for those who share the beliefs that I have...it's not about giving gifts anyway. I'm relatively religious, and I believe that Christmas is celebrating the birth of Jesus.
You may have different beliefs, but most people still feel something about the holiday season, regardless of what it means to you personally.
We symbolize that by sharing ourselves, sharing love, through gift-giving or deeds or perhaps something as simple as being kinder to our fellow man than we might normally be. If I have something and you have nothing, then let's share.
It's not about gifts.
It's not about obligation.
It's about giving, not exchanging.
Perhaps we'd do well to remember that.
I love you. Pass it on.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 10:49 AM