Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Boy Talk

Boys, did you know I have the power to potentially cure your allergies??
Just ask my pretend boyfriend MIKEY. Then come back here and pucker up.
Yeah, baby.
I always knew that certain talents of mine would eventually come in handy.


Reason #87 Why Monty Doesn't Have A Boyfriend

A random sampling of what I have to choose from. This guy is 39 and evidently has never heard of spell check:

"hello my name is *CENSORED*
I like to know more about you
i have twins two there 8 *CENSORED* an *CENSORED* is 7
my odd ball daddys gril for sure. i'v not ben doing the hole dating thing for some time now 3 yrs i think just me an kids they are moving in with there mom on the 27th for a while so i can get some things done i'v ben wanting to do bulid me a house im not looking for a 2 or 3 mo thing im looking for a soul mate someone to spend my life with. spoil/love/care for
most of my time will be spent on fixing this land the way i want it but will make dam sure the one im with will not be lonley
if u like to know more just let me know be good.........*censored*"


Well, I'm just happy to know that I wouldn't be lonley.

And could someone please tell me what the hole dating thing is?

Never mind. On second thought, I don't want to know...*shudder*


A Helpful Hint:

Gentlemen, when a lady says "I'm not ready to take that step with you just yet"
it does NOT mean
"Just kidding! I'm playing hard to get!"
it does NOT mean
"Please keep trying to get in my pants!"

NO means NO.
I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU TONIGHT means...well, it's pretty self-explanatory. You'd think.
YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL A LITTLE PRESSURED means YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF AND I'M FIXIN' TO KNEE YOU IN THE BALLS.

Feel free to write that down.


That is all.
Have a day.
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