Tuesday, March 21, 2006

MishMash

Is it weird that whenever I hear the first line of Heart and Soul by T'Pau, my mind turns it into:

"Somethin' in the moonlight catches my eye...

...and drags it 15 feet."


And out of habit I say things like "What's that in the road...a head?"
Okay, it's better if you can hear it.

I can't help it.



Yesterday our state had rain, snow, sunshine and tornadoes.
All at the same time.

Must've been the first day of spring.


I'm goin' on a road trip and you are nooooooot
and
I'm goin' to stay with Jules and you are nooooooot
and
I'm going to go see Ivy and you are nooooooot.

HAHA!


Thus endeth the juvenile portion of our program.

Oh, wait.

I have one more butt-wiggle and a couple of tongue stick-outs left.


There.

NOW endeth the juvenile portion of our program.


FOR THE BOYS

**I stole this from Gidget:

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put >it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us >complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the >tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's >what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.



That is all.
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