Fan Expo Dallas: A tl;dr Mostly Photographic Essay

I love getting away from work and kids once or twice a year, but you know how hard it is to say goodbye to these precious little children of mine:

We said our sad farewells as I dropped them off in some parking lot in Texas - but I knew their dad would find them soon because I texted him the name of the store.

Time to go meet up with Nicole and snuggle some fresh kitties!

AAAAND WE'RE OFF! Here we are in our Shiny (Firefly) shirts, ready to conquer the Expo!

The Fan Expo was a little different from Comic Con - also MUCH larger.  There were so many panels and QandA sessions, mostly more pop-culture centered than just comics and Dr. Who and Anime. It was very overwhelming and over-peopley for me.
Luckily Nicole had her Rainbow Claws Paws to keep me safe and sane. RAWR.

We tried to stealth-ninja some photos of Stan Lee, but as you can see we were not successful. He was a tiny man surrounded by some enormous bulky dudes, and he even had people on the lookout for ninja-photographers like us.

Those damn people behind Nicole were DELIBERATELY blocking our Stan-view.

Rob Schneider, on the other hand...

Well, he didn't exactly have prime space. We could just sort of walk up and take a photo through the curtain and no one noticed. Or cared. HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE $80 PHOTO OP and AUTOGRAPH! #FreePhotoIsFree

So we made it to the John Cusack panel and a guy came out to warm up the crowd...sort of the Q and A panel "fluffer," if you will.
The first time he came out he said NO VIDEOS.
WHAAAAAAAAAAA? Even Shatner let us take videos at ComicCon! WTF DUDE.

The second time he came out he said again, NO VIDEOS. And in fact NO PICTURES AT ALL. "Let's pretend it's really the 80s and there are no cell phones." Um dude, there were still cameras in the 80s.

BUT RULES IS RULES, so we put our cameras and cell phones away. I am nothing if not a strict rule-follower. So you will DEFINITELY NOT be seeing any photos of John Cusack from the Dallas Fan Expo here.

No way, no how.

#Forbidden.

It was weird - I wish you could see the back of his head. At first I thought he had on one of those Sherlocky-style deerstalkers with a brim on the front and the back. Then Nicole pointed out that it ACTUALLY looked like a strange distinct flap of hair, as though when he put on his hat it shoved a toupee out of the way and was hanging on the back of his head. As they do sometimes. #MrTudball (about 5 people will get that)
 (OH! And here's me taking a selfie with everyone in the Cusack QandA)

After that we decided to wander and shop and see what we could see.
Security seemed pretty tight. At least they generally hit what they're shooting at.
Also? PINK R2 UNIT. (PS I have not seen new Star Wars yet)

Unlike these guys - no one was really worried about them even though their guns were probably real and fully loaded.

Cool Guy thinks he is Cool. With Sailor Moon and Sailor Scouts.

DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS: but I *think* this might be happening in TULSA OK! Woo WHO! [see what I did there?]

I think Red Flash needs a cup or at least a jockstrap. And maybe to lay off the bacon cheeseburgers for a minute or get a...less fitted super suit. He looks a little bored with Other Flash's shenanigans.
SERIOUSLY. DUDE. A CUP.

Weirdly (or perhaps not so weird), Nicole and I always end up in cemeteries when we're together.
Note the absence of Weeping Angels; they're all inside the Expo. This was a cemetery in THE MIDDLE OF THE CONVENTION CENTER. What's that about?

I think this one was fresh and just waiting for someone to dig a hole. The mortuary makeup artist did an awesome job, right? So lifelike! Although she was starting to smell a bit ripe.

OH! Here are they are!
REMEMBER: DON'T...

BLINK.

My new boyfriend and newest favorite Superhero ever, #Deadpool. Also best movie ever...or at least in the last like 10 or 15 years. Also that is my Tardis mystery box, he was protecting it from villains for me because HE IS FUCKING AWESOME LIKE THAT AND SHIT.
#Unicorn #Shoop #Bananas

Here is Godzilla. He looks lonely. :(

Here is Godzilla about to eat some children. I support that.

Sassy Star Wars. #SaberEnvy

We stopped at one booth to check out some t-shirts and the guy said, "Here's the Question of the Day."
We thought he was going to quiz us on Firefly. (PS If you are not a Browncoat, you might as well skip the rest of this little section because you will be all HUH? *coffLISAcoff*)

"How do Reavers clean their harpoons? THEY RUN THEM THROUGH THE WASH."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
We did not buy anything from that guy. #RIPWash #WeLoveWash #LeafUponTheWind

Prisoner Jayne is sad. #JayneCobb "Time for some thrilling heroics."

We noticed that crazy old Vigo The Carpathian up to his same tricks! Such a lech!

He tried to suck me in but I am waaaay too much woman for him.

Then Nicole got us one of the most awesome things ever - MYSTERY BOXES.
We got a Tardis lunchbox full of trading cards!
A Breaking Bad doll!
Wristbands and lanyards and popheads!
Weeping Angel tote bag! And MORE!
SO. MUCH. FUN.

Also I am permanently changing my political affiliation for good and forever.

WTF with Robin's legs? Looks like he put his tights on backward. But I do like the Adam West Batman. KAPOW! ZOK! OUCH! BAM!
ChubbyBatman is Chubby.
Also? WHERE IS YOUR OTHER HAND, ROBIN?

By late afternoon, we were WIPED OUT. Nicole's skin was so dry I had to buy her a keg of moisturizer. Also she could stand to eat a t-bone and baked pertater once in awhile, amirite?
#DrWho #Cassandra

To cap off a fantastic day, we had a fun evening when we got to have dinner with one of my first blogging friends since around... what? 2004 or 05? The beautiful and smart and sweet Megan and her husband. ♥♥♥♥

Little did we know that there was ANOTHER (you totally heard a Yoda voice in your head just now)...another Con in town. It was A-Kon (not THAT Akon although how awesome would that have been??). Much like izumiCon in OKC, this is focused mostly on Anime, Japanime, and Manga. My daughter would've loved it, so guess where we'll she'll likely be next year.
ANYWAY.
The point of THAT tidbit of information is that one of my very favorite authors of all time, Taylor Stevens, was there with her family and OMG SQUUEEEE WE GOT TO MEET HER FOR A DRINK and spent a fantastic chunk of time in her company. I was happy (and UNshocked) to find that she is as warm and lovely and real in person as she is online.

***Quick #FANGIRL #PLUG: If you like strong, badass female lead characters with Jack Reacher-type lifestyle and a Mitch Rapp skill-set; if you like action and thrillers, GO. BUY. HER. BOOKS. The main character: sort of an heroic anti-hero by the name of Vanessa Michael Munroe, is dysfunctional, troubled, and bad to the fuckin' bone. YOU WILL LOVE HER. Get this one first - The Informationist - and just read 'em down the line. YOU ARE WELCOME***

All in all, one of the best weekends ever invented.

I feel so spoiled. ♥
You wish you were in my weekend.

My First ComicCon: A (mostly) Pictorial Essay

#WWTulsaCC
So I got home today from the Tulsa ComicCon. It was sort of a surreal experience; not only did I get to actually leave hearth and home (and children OMG YES) for the best part of 3 days, I went to this huge event ALONE.
Yes.
ALONE.
Which, as you know, is how I typically prefer things, but most of you also know I am not really sociable on my best day and  I tend toward introversion and wall-hugging in large crowds, parties...dates. Whatever.
Let me take a quick moment to say THANK YOU to the considerable number of people it took to make this trip possible and hella fun (since it almost got sunk a couple of weeks ago when my original sitter backed out): Mom, Mary, Karly, Becca, Shawn, Cathy, and Brad.

You will be surprised to learn that I was shockingly social this weekend, including asking to sit at some stranger's table in an overcrowded cafe, talking to people with whom I stood waiting in lines, and of course actually being able to speak to my heretofore pretend boyfriend, James Marsters (some of you know him as Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer). It's totes okay to be jealous of me. I encourage that.

And do not be afraid - I will be back in normal misanthropic form as soon as my James high wears off.

The bonus part was getting to spend some (excellent in quality but sadly short in quantity) time with one of my oldest friends (agewise AND longevity-wise)(hahaha keedeeeen)(sort of).

There was one guy there who looked JUST like Hugh Jackman as Logan (Wolverine), but since he was married to Wonder Woman I decided I better not ask to get a picture.

Let me just say that this weekend was the first time I've felt the pain and regret of not having a smart phone, because (as you shall see for yourself) my crappy little phone only takes crappy little pictures, blurry and dim and horrible. Fortunately for me, I still have all the memories and they're in HD.
Unfortunately for YOU, you'll have to use considerable imagination.

So here I am on the day, getting ready to head to T-Town for my Happy Funtimes Weekend:

And of course I hooked up with my boyfriend James right away:

Sadly, it was not hooking up in the biblical sense. #HisLossToo #JustSaying

**Please forgive the utter blurriness and poor quality of the following fotografs**

ALSO: Let me just add that Norman Reedus, while I did not get a photo of or with him, seemed to be a pretty spectacular, personable guy. He went hours over and above scheduled photo-op and autograph times, often stopping to pop his head out and say HI to the people standing in various lines. I got to see him and spoke to him, and I'm almost fairly kind of sure he might have smiled and/or tipped a wink in possibly my general direction or perhaps to one of the people surrounding me...but I'm not quite 100% on that.
He appeared to make himself pretty accessible to fans and was definitely the hot ticket at this convention.
Also ALSO he was very sexy. A little dirty looking. I like that. #SupaHot #DixonsVixens
For him I would volunteer to be

ANYWAY.

Speaking of The Walking Dead, I sat in on a panel with Shane and Hershel:

They were very entertaining, and also I learned a new Waylon Jennings song that Shane/John Bernthal loves:


Also the Formerly Alive Other Dixon Brother (Merle), Michael Rooker. He sort of gave off an arrogant, bad boy vibe ( but SO FUCKING CHARMING!) - I would hit that in a red hot minute:

Someone asked how he enjoyed working with (my other pretend boyfriend) Nathan Fillion, and he said, "You should ask Nathan Fillion how HE enjoyed working with ME!" which is totes a fair point but DO NOT DIS MY BOYFRIEND NATHAN EVER EVER. #BrowncoatsForever #Shiny

I also enjoyed sitting in with Freddy Krueger - he is definitely a talker. Is it just me or is Robert Englund starting to look like Gandalf?

BIG NEWS: I SAW THE SHAT in all his Captain Kirk-y Denny Crane-ness:

He is actually just what I expected. Also? His roles are #Typecasting, for sure.

After all the Shatner goodness, I had to step outside for a breath of fresh air. It was chillier than I thought it would be (and me without my jacket!) and I soon discovered why:

Then all of a sudden, I was compelled to shout...

...and immediately was transported through a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey vortex of some sort

where I immediately encountered a very young, sweet, and handsome Harry:

Who was heard to say, "We're not friends. I don't like him and he doesn't like me. What if he sees me and calls me POTTAH?!"

At which point I noticed Draco Malfoy lurking through the crowds, looking evil and wicked and smug as always...

Actually Tom Felton was extremely nice and accessible, wandering through the lines of fans, speaking with the girls, asking them questions (and making them so giddy and giggly I actually smiled)(shut up, we will never speak of that again), just very casual and lovely and sweet.

I was thrilled to run into one of my favorite romantic couples, Daenerys and Khal Drogo:

Although to be honest I was a little worried that a typical GoT bloodbath would erupt in their wake. Luckily, I made it out alive.

I have to be honest and tell you I pussed out on Sunday, Day 3 -- many of you know I have a lot of chronic back pain and sciatica and unfortunately I was not up to the challenge. Probably I missed some of the best stuff on the last day but I DO NOT CARE BECAUSE JAMES MARSTERS.
Also as #BadMotherOfTheYear I feel it's important to note that my decision had zero to do with getting back home to the children; I could've easily stayed away several more days without a single squidge of guilt. Oh, you #PerfectMoms and #Hoverounds can shut it. I will cutchoo like...someone with a sharp cutting thing.
Plus I know for a fact that I'd've ended up spending $50 for a damn autograph (and OMG REALLY $50?? For THAT??) which we all know I'm much too cheap frugal to do and would've regretted later when I really needed to buy something, like new books. Or, you know, food.

AND OF COURSE I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST.

James Marsters. During his panel I wanted to ask how it was kissing John Barrowman on those episodes of Torchwood but I was too skeert. Fortunately for me and great minds that think alike, the very last person they took a question from asked it. I can't really remember the answer because I was too busy remembering the actual scene.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
What?
Where was I?

Right-o.
So I got to actually meet him in the flesh, and he made such direct eye contact when he shook my hand that I'm surprised the smoke alarms didn't go off with the sudden rise in my body temperature. He hugged me and I had to make a concerted effort to keep my hand off his ass...and then he squeezed my hand as I was leaving. I'm pretty sure he's in love with me. Because what's not to love?

See how he was looking right at me? Can't you feel the sexual tension just oozing between us? I KNOW.

He was delighted to dress up as Spike for me for a little role-play fun as we spent some time together in the amazing hot tub in my hotel room:

And here he is, just waking up this morning - James, you're such a cover hog in the middle of the night!

And then...dun dun DUN...it was time for me to leave. I will miss being in you, T-Town:

Now...when can I sign up for Tulsa ComicCon 2015????