SxSW: A Top 10 List

Last year my friend Lisa (you may recognize her from Twitter as @pprlisa) made me laugh (EVEN THOUGH SHE IS NOT THE FUNNY ONE, LET ME MAKE THAT CLEAR) when she came up with this Top Ten Reasons I Didn't Go To SxSW --that's "South by Southwest" for you unwashed uninitiated undesirables. #GoogleIt

Someday I wouldn't mind going, but not for the tech stuff because frankly I find that a total yawnfest but HEY THAT'S JUST ME.
I would LOVE to go for the Film and/or Music (in case any large or midsize company would like to sponsor me for the 2011 conference)(COME ON)(YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO).

ANYWAY.
(I was going to say "But I Digress" right there but those of you who've been reading this blog for a long time know that I hate that particular phrase because it is MORE OVERUSED THAN "MONETIZE")
(also possibly more overused than parentheses in this post)

SO.

I didn't think it possible, but PPRLisa has come up with something even better, funnier, and, as usual, on the cutting edge...

The 2nd Annual "Top 10 Reasons I Didn't Go To SxSW" List

10. Someone has to do all of the chores on 20,000+ Farmville Farms

9. Embarrassed that Guru status was revoked for excessive fake hashtaggery

8. Speaking submission titled “Does my prezo topic really matter when everyone’s in the hall hungover” was rejected

7. Rent-A-Wreck was the only car company to sponsor my drive to the show

6. Taking advantage of the mass exodus from Boston to become Mayor of EVERYTHING #FourSquare

5. Saving up my excuses for "going-to-a-conference-but-attending-nothing-but-parties" for BlogHer

4. Already met up with all of the social media elite that I wanted to see on Chatroulette earlier today

3. If @marketingprofs doesn't go, I don't go #suckup #pander

2. Lost my GPS and ended up going to NxSE

and the number one reason @pprlisa did not go to SxSW this year....

1. Can't show my face in social media circles after putting on a trench coat & trying to get in on the Vanity Fair cover

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I'm only hoping the inevitable TechKaraoke videos have someone singing "Pants On The Ground" this year.