Thursday, August 28, 2008

So you can make an informed decision...

Top Ten Reasons NOT To Vote For Me
in the Hot Blogger Calendar contest:


1. I'm already a giant attention whore.
READ MY BLOG! FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! LISTEN TO MY LIVE SHOW! DOWNLOAD MY PODCAST! CHECK OUT MY RACK!
See? (okay, the rack is still pretty swell for 40)

2. That picture up in the sidebar is like 4 years old. Now I'm less cute and more wrinkly. Also fatter. But my hair still looks damn good.

3. As I may have mentioned about a hundred times before - I am not a very nice person. I just pretend to be so you'll like me and then I can treat you bad like I do all my real-life friends.

4. I say a lot of hateful things, and mostly I mean them.

5. If you start talking to me about politics, my eyes will glaze over and possibly I'll have a small stroke, because I'm absolutely apolitical. Yell at me all you want about how people like me are why there is never any real change, I promise it won't do any good - I'll just tell you what you want to hear so you'll SHUT THE FUCK UP already.

6. I firmly believe that a lot of that newfangled "Social Media" stuff is just an excuse for people to get together, get drunk, and sing karaoke. I really don't drink, so I'm underqualified. And people actually MAKE MONEY somehow. It's so confusing.

7. I really don't like people.

8. I am made of asshole.

9. I often feel a really strong urge to headstab people. Usually it's the same handful of folks, but occasionally there's a new & improved douchebag that I really, really want to get.

10. Probably you should now review #s 3, 4, 7 and 8 especially.


That is all.
Have a day.
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