Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Brain Soup Du Tuesday

Stolen kisses are frequently the ones that taste the most delicious.


Actually, that's just a theory--I have no working knowledge of the situation.
Or if I do, I can't remember it.
And sometimes I just like to follow a fine family tradition and make shit up.


Whenever I type the brand name Versace (which is often in my line of work), I hear Elizabeth Berkely's voice from The Worst Movie Ever saying, "It's a Versaaaysse."


Speaking of The Worst Movie Ever...
When I was in the hotel business, many of my colleagues/good friends were gay men. Every time I attended a party at one of their houses, I knew they were going to force me to sit through that movie. And dance a little bit as payment for my drinks
It was the precursor to the pr0n, you know.
Which I sat through willingly.


Speaking of pr0n...
There was this one particular movie we watched at one of those parties (oh seriously, it wasn't an orgy or anything, we watched the movies and made fun of the "dialogue")(and so what if I admired the nude male form)(it was all for art's sake!) and there was this really cheesy scene which involved a pantsless lumberjack-y guy, a donut, a cup of coffee...well, suffice it to say that THAT particular scene made me laugh hysterically every time I thought about it for months afterward.
Hell, it made me laugh just now. O! The Cinema!


Hey, don't act like you never watched the pr0n.


Dear Me,

You know, if you weren't so abrupt with people and--let's face it--a rude assclown half the time...and if you didn't treat some of your friends like shit for no apparent reason, you probably wouldn't have to spend so much time apologizing.
Is all I'm saying.
Think about it.

Love,
Monty


Dear Liar,

I smell smoke. Could it be because your pants are on fire?
Is all I'm wondering.

Love,
Monty
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