Friday, March 16, 2007

Friday Thoughts

If I were forced to marry tomorrow and I could choose any celebrity I wanted...
I'd marry Craig Ferguson.
I love him.
Love.Love.LOVE HIM.

He makes me laugh a lot.

If I were ever in his audience on the Late Late Show, I would throw my panties on the stage.

Of course, he'd most probably be terrified at the piece of white cotton approximately the size of a mainsail hurtling toward him.

So maybe that's not such a good idea after all.

Helpful Hints

A few suggestions for parents who are concerned about leaving their child/children home alone for the first time (they've worked out for me so far, and I gave some of them to MommaK recently and since she didn't post about her house burning down or anything, I guess they worked out okay for her too):

1. Show the children where the fire extinguisher is kept, in case they start a fire while playing with matches.

2. Teach them how to tie a proper tourniquet in case they cut themselves (or each other) while playing with knives.

3. Point out the proper dosage of Pepto Bismol to take after they've eaten 27 Fudgsicles for dinner.

4. Show them how to hide the evidence of keggers.

5. Teach them how to delete the cookies & temp files on the computer so you won't know they've been surfing porn sites.

6. Leave the medicated ointment available in case they burn themselves messing with the stove.

7. 911. 'Nuff said.

If you follow these suggestions, you should be able to feel comfortable leaving your children at home. And with luck, your house will still be standing upon your return.

No need to thank me. Really.
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