Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Spam Spam Eggs and Spam

Tickle my ass with a feather funnybone.
(does anyone remember that joke? with the feather?)


***UPDATE: I just got Trolled by TheBigO herself! How AWESOME!
AND I have her IP address, and where she commented from! Even MORE AWESOME!
Funny, she's in MA right now...***

but first...
Dear Oprah,

Seriously, no one even cares whether or not you're gay. And NO woman on the planet who has ever had a long-lasting, close friendship would even think such a thing.
Are you upset because people are losing interest in you, and you're trying to get some publicity? I notice even the National Enquirer has left you alone lately (so I get bored in the checkout line at the grocery store, so what?).

Please do not ever ever ever ever ever ever ever put an image in my head again that involves you having sex, with either a male or a female.
Because ew.

Sincerely,
A NON-fan who thinks your attitudes suck and who also thinks the only good thing you ever accomplished was The Color Purple.


Dear Kid Rock and Pam Anderson,

Marriage is so not going to fix your fucked up weird relationship.
Is all I'm saying.

Sincerely,
Someone who thinks you're both effed in the head but sort of likes you anyways.


THIS GUY left a comment at THIS GUY'S place, and for some reason I burst into uncontrollable laughter every single time I read it. I giggle when I THINK about it.

It reminds of my daily email spam.

Luckily I got some excellent spam today which I will now share with you, and your mission is to comment with some of YOUR spam.
Because I really need some big laughs today. The kind where you pee your pants a little and sometimes choke on spit.

Spam Of The Day

"billiards horrid in violently angrily, obliterate!!! multiple as amelioration celebrity!
Patient ruckus dangle the it impeccably to... Sagittarius.
Web-footed. Halibut. Muzak boss, a smother of brutally revealing soon!!
Yom Kippur an filmy tattered in hallelujah: with dough dice emergence confirmation.
brazenly light-headed as an handsomely, vampire with shyness. as pudding drug addict aquaria bookmaker blew as foreplay lice pole vault crank."


A little violence, an abundance of adverbs, dough dice, with a nod to shy vampires, pudding addiction, and porn.
Now THAT'S good spam.

What did you get? Or make up your own!


If you open up your iTunes, you can do two things:
Go to PODCASTS and search for "Evoca"...you'll see a list that includes
Evoca - The Daily Bitch...Downloadable that you can subscribe to
or
open up your iTunes, click the ADVANCED tab, and subscribe with this:
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=167180307

I only mention this because you won't want to miss the Salt N Pepa rap on Friday (or maybe Saturday)


That is all. (and ain't it enough, for crap's sake?!)
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