He makes me laugh every day...and he's incredibly sweet and supportive, which is why he is one of my favorites (just like you are).
C'mon everybody, give it up for MIKE! (stop by and pay him a visit later, too...you'll be glad you did)
What have I gotten myself into this time? What made me think I could possibly guest post for Monty? I mean, think about it; she's a tough act to follow!
...While she's out galavanting about on vacation, having fun tanning her buns in the hot sun, I'm stuck home slaving over a cold keyboard. The keyboard's cold because you see, I can't type so fast. That's okay, as some blog visitors cannot read very fast.
...After agreeing to submit a post in her stead, I found myself with a few options to ponder, not the least of which is my sore arm. OUr agreement was confirmed via the time-honored practice of a handshake. Correct me if I'm wrong, dear readers of Monty, but isn't it unusual for one to put his hand behind his back to shake hands? Just wondering, because Monty can be so convincing!
...I was still left to consider just what I should post. Should i write something in the theme of her site title, "The Daily Bitch?" Well, I may not be female -(Hold on a sec, please. Let me take a peek and check on that. No, I'm definitely not.) - but I can certainly bitch when I feel the need to do so.
...Then I turned to her URL for a possible clue, and found myself poring over the concept of "brain-soup." That appears to suggest that the contents of the cranial cavity consists of a brain that has been emulsified into a liquid state. Of course, some physicians often mistake this for "water on the brain."
...For those of you who don't know me, I could introduce myself like a proper guest blogger. I might live there, but I am no Proper Bostonian! No, I'm not going to go into a spiel about myself. Everything you need to know and what I want you to know about me can be found over at my digs. For a good time visit my site. You won't be sorry. So get your butts over there for funny (?) stuff.
...For Monty's sake, I digress. (***ed. note: hyuk hyuk hyuk)
...I'm sure that most of you "The Daily Bitch" faithfuls know that Monty's user name is derived from Monty Python's Flying Circus. Knowing that she is such an avid fan of the show and of its characters, I finally realized what I could write
...Oops! I almost broke a cardinal law of writing, using a preposition at the end of a sentence. I'll tell you what, since you read Monty you can't be bad people, I'm going to share a writing tip with you. There is a correct way to place a preposition at the end of a sentence. Check out this sample sentence: It is incorrect to end a sentence with a preposition. (No thanks are necessary, just send money.)
...Again, I digress.
...Ah yes, Monty Python! Those of you familiar with my site, know that I love to write parodies. So why not write a parody on Monty Python's Flying Circus?
...Time check: 8:10 pm, Monday, Jun 25.
...Re-Time check: 9:30 pm, Tuesday, Jun 26.
...I'm pretty quick on the uptake as you can see by the time checks above. It didn't take me long to come to the realization that I had taken a bite much too large to chew, let alone swallow.
...I ask you, how can I parody Monty Python? I don't think it can be done. After all, Monty Python is already a parody. I mean how can I improve on a "dead Parrot?" What's to parody about a lumberjack in women's clothing? Give me your dead blogs .. Your dead blogs. Nah! Could I out-parody a "mere flesh wound?" It would be fruitless to take a stab at a "silly run."
...Eureka! By Jove, I've got it! Is not one of the show's catch-phrases, "...And now for something completely different?" Think about it. Anything I would try to write as a parody would in fact be completely different!
...(Sigh!) Alas, theirs would be funny.
Well, back to the drawing board ...er... back to the cold keyboard! Maybe I should stick to guest-posting on my own blog.....
Monty, wherever you are, I hope this e-mail doesn't spoil your vacation. Keep those buns warm!
Thanks Mikey me darlin'! Unfortunately it is raining right now, so the only buns that are getting toasted will soon have ground beef patties on them.
Wait, that sounds a little kinky...
But I'm okay with that.