The Theory of De-volution
I was told recently that if I were to devolve into my 'root' creature...I would become a chameleon.
I thought about that.
I took it as a compliment.
From "The Year Of The Zoloft"
No worries, I'm not playing the poor pitiful me card.
What I was thinking exactly one year ago today.
I woke up this morning feeling somewhat...challenged. Inadequate. Incompetent. Incapable.
I guess what brought it on was the other night, my girlfriend was ribbing me about the inside of my microwave. Hey, it was clean...but last time she was over it wasn't. I'd had a little...explosion...and had neglected to clean it up before they got there.
ANYHOO...I'd said something to her about being tired of always having to do everything all by myself...I wasn't really complaining, mind you...I was just sayin'.
And I do get tired of it. The cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the getting the kids up & bathed & dressed & fed & off to school every morning, the minor home repairs, the squashing of the spiders *shudder*, the car maintenance, the lawn mowing, and the myriad other little things that crop up on a daily basis.
Those are the bad days...the ones where I actually miss having a husband. Or live-in partner. Or even just a roommate. (especially for the whole 'spider' thing)
Those are the days when I wish for a moment that I would come home from work to a nicely kept house that I didn't clean. That the laundry would be folded & put away. That dinner would be a-cookin'. Or even that someone would volunteer to stay with my kids for a few hours so that I could go to Border's or Barnes & Noble, read a book in relative peace & quiet whilst sipping a latte.
Aaaah, what a lovely little fantasy.
As mom always said: "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride..."
Luckily, those days are few & far between. Most generally I don't mind shouldering my responsibilities. I even enjoy them most of the time.
But this morning...ugh. First thought of the day was I don't wanna get up. I wanna pull the covers over my head. Pretend I'm invisible.
Yeah, that didn't happen.
I was seen.
Well shit, I've just now remembered that I have a friend who's birthday was yesterday. DAMMIT. Guess I'd better fire off a quick e-card, and a follow up phone call tomorrow at first opportunity...
*=Not her real name.
And I've just realized that I've forgotten the EXACT same friend's birthday...*sigh*
Off to make a phone call.