Am I the only person who buys toilet paper every single time I go into the grocery store, whether I need it or not?
Am I some kind of TP hoarder?
Don't forget about Time Travel...that one time each year when we get a real live do-over. At least, we can do over the hour between 1am & 2am. So if you're going to screw up big, do it then, so you can pull a Groundhog Day.
I'm just sayin'.
I'm sick, I tell you...I spent HALF of my cigarette money on LOTTERY TICKETS.
Okay, so it was only $2, but still.
In honor of the upcoming holiday of Hallowe'en, I will now begin our Horror Feature presentation, entitled "Faces of Monty".
Graphics not for the faint of heart. If you have a heart condition or are in poor health, please exit the theater immediately.
Please turn off all cell-phones and pagers.
My one and only "bought" costume. Man, that plastic face totally creeps me out. *shudder*
Hey Mr. KotTER!
My family says this picture makes me look like Gabe Kaplan. And my brother was actually a hockey player (Go Blazers!), not Jason Voorhees.
I went to my Grandma's house in this costume, and my uncle was handing out candy. He dropped the candy in my bag without a flicker of recognition. I returned to my mom (a few houses away) and told her the story. She sent me back to grandma's to try again. My uncle said, "Say, weren't you just here?"
Like a good little soldier, I kept my mouth shut.
My uncle turned away, so I opened the door and went inside. My uncle said, "What are you doing? You shouldn't walk into stranger's houses."
I managed, somehow, to control my giggles and kept a straight face.
I walked into the kitchen and heard my uncle telling my grandma that "This kid just followed me in and won't leave."
My beloved grandma proceeded to give me a stern lecture on the dangers of walking into people's houses, and told me that I must leave IMMEDIATELY, because my parents were probably worried.
Then I started laughing, and the jig was up.
Okay, so it's a funny story to me. Shut up.
"The Clumsy Custard Horror Show"
I just added these in for fun and because I already had the scanner on.
...to scullery maid.
Story of my life.
That concludes today's special Horror Feature. Please deposit all trash into the receptacles located near each exit door.