Okay, just this one time..

I have been tagged by both the ever-fabulous Nancy and the currently over-sexed always gorgeous Mimi for this one...

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here's that list:

If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper... If I could be a proctologist...
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi...
If I could be a mob boss... If I could be a backup singer...
If I could be a CEO... If I could be a movie reviewer...

---

If I could be a proctologist... I'd give new meaning to the phrases "Shove it up your ass" and "Stick it where the sun don't shine". AFTER double-gloving, natch.

If I could be a writer... I'd write red-hot sex books. Steamy. REALLY steamy. With an actual plot-line for those who cared. Sorry boys, no pictures though.
(and no, it will not be modeled after my own nonexistant sex life. My memory doesn't stretch back that far)

If I could be a linguist... I'd learn how to say "Screw you, pal" in 57 languages. Just call me Ambassador to the world. Happy to do my part.

If I could be a backup dancer... Eh, forget it. White girls can't dance. ;) Well, this white girl can't, anyhow. Unless it's a two-step.

If I could be a lawyer... I would prosecute everyone who ever filed a stupid-ass frivolous lawsuit, and drag it out for years. And fight for the death penalty to be utilized for all child-molesters.

Now, who to pass it to?

MommaK, Janet, and True Jersey Girl...simply because I'd like to read what they come up with.
And naturally, I am also passing it to whoever else wants to play along. Drop me a comment so I can come see, if you decide to play. :)